


i dont know whats happening

by 23notecanon (epistaxiophilia)



Series: you broke time [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Eye Trauma, Friendship, M/M, Multi, Other, Post-Canon, actually not complaint to normal kh3 ending tbch, not compliant to 'secret' kh3 ending., post kh3, the violence doesn't come until past 100k words in and it'll be one very well listed chapter, theres shipping but it's... friend-shipping...., timeline splitting, we've broken out of canon babyyyy, xemnas doesn't stay 'xemnas', xemnas learns to make friends but not romantically ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 154,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18369068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/epistaxiophilia/pseuds/23notecanon
Summary: timeline splits leave two incomplete 'halves'(maybe more) stranded in a foreign timeline, creating an entirely new 'somebody' out of their memories. a callous, soulless man consumed by darkness suddenly knows how to feel 'guilt' and 'care' for the people around him. what happens next might shock you.'He figures out quick if he closes the ‘gold’ eye, however, the light becomes less of an issue- but now he also only has ‘one’ eye, accidentally mirroring Xigbar. “When you live in the dark so long, something something, hum, light hurt my eyes. You know how it is.” This is spoken completely toneless and deadpan.'(xemnas+ansem(sod)=new somebody; after canon kh3 plotdump. the ship, if you squint.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i self-beta(aka re-read often) which i guess doesn't really count, but i don't have fandom friends(or plan to get any.), so what you see is what you get. if you re-read and notice things have changed, they probably have.  
> xemnas makes close friends with isa, demyx, and xigbar. he is also a vaguely shitty father figure for xion and vanitas. sora is close friends with riku, kairi and vanitas.  
> isa/axel and aqua/terra are confirmed side-ships so if that's not your business. ansem/xemnas are like a... garnet from steven universe. i'm sorry i don't know how better to explain this.  
> eye trauma is in ch.17.

It’s becoming familiar enough now to the people of Destiny Island when a streak of light like a shooting star burns across the horizon and splashes into the ocean waters. Most times, sure- it really is a shooting star. Sometimes, though mostly only to younger and more, lets say ‘impressionable youth’, it’s a person. Usually a single person, whose name starts with ‘S’ and appears sporadically to tell impossible tales he is perhaps not supposed to inform of anyone. I mean, it’s only his ‘close friends’, and the tales truly are unbelievable….

Today, however- or rather, this morning, the streak of falling starlight is more like an abyssal black hole, a trailing flash of darkness that blots a speck of light from the dawning sky. That is definitely more interesting than the common meteor, and immediately ruins what was a nice, quiet morning for two familiar Riku and Kairi, pausing in their walk along the beach to swallow roughly and sweat a nervous bead. Was it Sora? Why did, why would Sora fall in darkness. Was it nothing? Was it a heartless? It’s been months since Xehanort’s fall, weeks since Kairi’s return without Sora in tow. Not that the heartless stopped being an issue with Xehanort’s dismissal into his strange, enlightened death; but the Islands had remained steadfastly safe since Sora’s initial rebuilding of it. It’s supposed to be a time of relaxation for Riku and Kairi to get a nice long break, and wait for their friend to show up, maybe, sigh.

Once the initial panic fades, and hours pass from noon, through the evening, and into the dark of night with not so much as a peep of heartless or otherwise, Riku gathers the mental thought to grab his Gummi phone.

“Me and Kairi have looked around everywhere the thing might have fallen- but nothing. Nothing washed up on shore, nothing is around the beach. I don’t know if it was a weird fluke, or something just passing through the world, but…” With a heavy sigh, tired eyes gaze across from darkened sand to calm starlit waters. Kairi stands near the edge of the beach, staring out across in the vaguest hope it’s ‘him’- but Riku knows it isn't. Neither of them 'feel' it.

A familiar high-pitched voice replies; the King, because who else could Riku trust more. “That is awfully strange, Riku. We can head over there once we’re done here-“

“I- No, no, you’re busy, and, apparently, there’s nothing wrong. You don’t need to go out of your way. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case it _goes_  wrong…”

“Awr, Riku, you know you'll never be an inconvenience! I’d rather drop by and know you’re all safe, mhmn?”

An exhaled laugh as Riku is immediately comforted by the pure and honest sincerity that his close friends' words always manage to bring him. Shifting his weight in the sand before walking up to Kairi, he places a comforting hand on her shoulder to stare out alongside her. She leans in to give Mickey a wave and a forced smile, while Riku replies, “Alright- well _I_ want to make sure that nothing happens somewhere else, where you’re actually needed, just because me and Kairi saw something in the sky. If it was a heartless, or a nobody, or even unversed- it would’ve attacked by now. We've been searching around where we thought we saw it heading for hours with not so much as a peep. Just keep your ears up for me, ok? If something comes up we don’t think we can handle, it just won’t be a surprise for you, ok?”  
  
“Well, alright, if you’re so sure! I’m going to give a heads up to the others just in case- see if anyone else is closer nearby to you guys to check it out. You look real tired, Riku- how’s about you two head home for a good sleep, and you can keep me posted tomorrow, alright?”  
  
A smile and a nod from the both of them, “That sounds good. Stay safe, buddy.”

“You too, friend!”

* * *

 

Well, it’s not a heartless. And it’s not a nobody. It’s both, technically, and neither. A Somebody, they might sympathetically call him. His body and mind wracked with pain; he hadn’t hit the water like his darkened trail seemed to be heading, he’d hit earth. Clusters of mud fly into the trees and bushes around him, scattering birds and leaving a shallow crater with dust littering the morning air. A pity and a thankful moment there is no one else around to see him and his misery; where Kairi and Riku strolled along a smaller, ‘playground’ island of the Destiny ‘Island’ that was technically several islands, Xemnas had managed to land his ass striking into living population. Or was it Ansem? Oh… oh that is an _uncomfortable_ feeling, and he- they, oh nooo, we’re one solid, horrible person, aren’t we. Staring down at their arms in incredulous wonder and discomfort, decidedly dressed in dirty, brown robes- his weak gaze trails upwards to catch the half-lit and distantly familiar sights around him. Why _here_. No matter- we can’t stay, hefting his weight to painful standing with a slow walk away from his remarkably unnoticeable crater; he assumes his lingering nobody instinct caught him before he hit the ground. A moment of pause and flexed fingers to see if he’s able to manage a dark corridor to the Realm of Darkness, but alas, that power seems stripped from him. His only option now is to perhaps find a nice, shady place to sit and collect himself. The sun rises, and while it’s not as if their time in the darkness had taken his ability to stand in the light, something about this sunlight feels oppressive to his senses.

Ah, he figures, it’s _hot_ , and he can _feel_ how hot and miserable it is. Their dual strength is removed from him, leaving a vacant mortal man. Tucked beneath a bush and away from any primary road, he curls beneath his thankfully oversized robes, sweating uncomfortably and unable to bring enough of their thoughts together to do much about the suffering that has befallen him. Apparently, after they fell in battle, everything went to shit. Their 'original', Xehanort, had failed in his plan of universal reset. And this is Sora’s world- well, Riku’s too- by divine fate, is that why he’s here? No wait- this was Xehanort's world as well, wasn't it. Are we Xehanort? That's right- why are we.. this. Shouldn’t we be… Xehanort? The heart and body reformed. Neither of them felt particularly like themselves, neither fully Xemnas or Ansem or otherwise- but they felt absolutely nowhere near their original. Firstly- not an old man, though _they never were,_ they were the separated concept of one corrupted and possessed Terra, so that explains parts of that; but they'd both been their own beforehand, so why not now? Why are they forced into one once more. A loud, irritable groaning as his legs outstretch, hands reaching beneath his hood to furiously scratch through sweaty, loose white hair-

“Prrow?” What was that.

Suddenly, or not so suddenly, a furry body waddles down through the bushes and bumps a curious face into his boot. At first, his instinct is to kick the creature away, but when he makes eye contact with it, wide curious eyes keep him satiated enough from his initial indignation. Instead, his leg lowers, and the feline approaches further, eyes squinting shut as it continues to rub and mrrp about his apparently offered leg. Soon enough, it’s all the way up to his lap, and shaky hands reach forwards, cupping gently below its face. Thumbs draw over the eyes of its silver tabby face, slicking over whiskers to its apparent joy. Tiny claws stick into the fabric of his robes as it furthers into his touch, begging with the movement of its body for more delightful petting and scratching- and damned it all, he can’t find himself to be the man to deny it. Despite the heat overtaking his senses, he scoops the feline up into his arms, scratching nails into the softest parts of its fluffy mane, and have things always felt this soft? Something about the way it quietly rumbles at the given affection, the way it digs its nails into his clothes, circling around until its comfortable enough to settle down into the folds of fabric. Any and all hostility leaves his body now- though it is seemingly replaced by the rooting discomfort of overheating disgust. Alternatively, however, and not to his conscious recognition, his bodies prior pain to simply existing takes a momentary respite into comforting solidity.

A distant voice, “Stevie! Where did you go, girl?” His little friend lifts its sleepy head at hearing its, or rather ‘her’, name and favorite person. An arm lifts from his lazy petting to release her to her calling, and sure enough, fluffy legs outstretch as she waddles booty out towards the roadway. “There you are! You sneaky butthole- you’re not supposed to leave the yard! This is why I don’t let you outside,” an older woman, though she doesn’t come close enough to see him as he recoils his legs back beneath the foliage. His prior friend has other plans, however, and a few hearty meows later, his eyes peek beneath his hood to those bright green eyes staring up at him once more. “Hey, get back here!” Some hurried steps- and a pause. He can see her legs now as well, grumbling to himself. The cat was a nice little nonchalant friend. He can’t say he’s terribly interested in dealing with a… person. “Is someone in there…?”

Trying to recoil himself further, it is no use when the woman brushes away the leaves and stares down at his attempt at being hidden. His hood over his eyes, he can’t see her face and keeps it that way even as she approaches. “.. Hello there? Are you ok?”

A deep sigh, his voice comes out hoarse and strained, rasping, “Yes, leave me alone.”

Remaining more concerned for his welfare rather than her own, despite the apparent threat in his tone, she delves further into the bushes, “Alright now, stranger, come on out. You can’t just mope in the bushes.” Reaching forward, she snags a sleeve, snce she needs to drag him out, apparently.

“I mean, I can, and could, and would rather,” he rumbles, but once she has a hand around his wrist, his body folds forwards towards the tugging, and slowly, audibly painfully, he crawls out. Heaving there for a moment on his hands and knees, apparently unable to right himself.

A hand reaches in beneath his hood, and he arches towards the eerily cool presence against the overheating skin of his neck, “Oh boy, alright I see your problem. Hmnn, just, give me a minute,” and she leaves him there, now in the full berth of the sunlight, just seething in irritation at the situation. Not for long, however, because his furry friend is still here, and she waddles beneath his hooded self to rub against his face, even leaning up to lick his nose. Possibly because he is the sweatiest, saltiest tasting man alive. To the woman’s credit, she returns in near less than a minute, and a curious kitty is replaced with a bottle- a bottle of water, water and ice, and he is overcome with the desire for that liquid to become inside of his body, or even outside of his body. He finds the effort to end up on his ass so he can manage to drink; a few solid gulps before he upends the rest of it on his face, unapologetically, until ice is pouring down his hood and into his shirt. It rises an uncomfortable and wholly unintended SHRILL from his throat. The woman above him can’t help but giggle, and his gaze snaps up, barely over the hem of his hood. For a moment he catches her visage; a middle-aged, heavy-set woman, hair long and greying, her bangs spiking up to the side of her face to frame blue eyes- until the light hits his retina and his eyes squeeze shut uncomfortably. Once he is apparently satisfied in his water saturation, again she reaches down to grab him up by the arms, and with great effort, he ends up on his wobbly legs, towering over her in height.

He can’t help but groan out his discomfort, however, his body still wracked with the pain of landing. Or perhaps, at this point, he considers there is something else viscerally wrong with his form, so he thinks he might as well take advantage to the hospitality he’s being offered. Pride might think he’d rather burn to death in the heat of the island sun, but he did not survive this long and to whatever crude form ‘they’ve’ taken to suffer and fall to a fate such as _that._ Again, to her credit, she seems to realize the shadow cast figure is not much of a talker, especially in his pain, so with a soft expression, she grips around his wrist, and slowly drags him towards her nearby house, his feline friend trailing along behind them.

The moment they’re inside and the temperature drops a fair few degrees, he rasps a sigh, reaching up to pull the hood of his face, to get that heat off the top of his head. It’s not too much darker in there, all the windows open to the ‘glorious’ day outside, but he’s not about to squint his eyes out of his head, at least. Staring up at him now, the woman speaks, “You know, I’d like to think I know everyone on our islands! It’s not like there’s a lot of us.”  
  
He doesn't reply immediately, thinking hard about his response. “I’m from... a very far away island, across the ocean,” he barely mumbles, eying off to the side. A bit of a lie, suppose. He's not sure why he's concerned with keeping up the world order, but it might be worse to confuse her with the truth.

“Oh no! Did you get here by accident? Did something happen to your boat?” A naivety to her tone, she continues to drag him along at their slowed pace until they happen upon the main room, and a couch; without prompting he finds himself plopping into it with an audible straining in his throat. Somehow, standing and walking are exponentially harder than sitting.

Still straining, though, “Yes, I have become here on accident. I’m not sure what happened to my… boat,” he gestures with a hand, “Or my, crew. I have shown up here, alone.” A long, drawn out sigh as his heart feeds that uncomfortable pressure he finds himself to know as ‘loneliness’ and ‘regret’. Less appealing emotions, but he's oddly finding himself to cherish them regardless- for they exist, and they feel very much real. Despite all his effort to rid himself of them, they return to him now. Thanks, Ansem. Apparently, he wears it on his face, because when he gaze flicks up to the woman’s she looks almost as if she feels the same.

“You poor thing- here, let me get you more water- and you should really take off that big cloak, you look like you’re sweating out of your skin! I don’t know what it’s like where you’re from- but it’s never going to stop being hot here,” and she scoots out of the room once more.

Looking down at himself, he’s not entirely sure he’s wearing anything else underneath. But she’s not wrong. He’s dying more than he needs to on account of what the universe decided he needed to be ‘reborn’ in. The brown robes Ansem had used to crawl through time. Tiredly, he squirms out of it; he is wearing pants, but no shirt. Looking down at his prone self, his eyes trail across a, well. Honestly, a familiar form. Between the ‘two’ of them, they kept an extremely similar body. The difference being that they’ve inherited all of Xemnas’s scars- where Ansem’s body was ‘perfect’ and infinitely renewable. A hand raises to trail across some particularly deep and perhaps ‘fresh’ looking ones. Killing blows, from keyblade wielders. A hum in his throat as he muses the indent in his flesh above his heart; they strike across each other like a fitting X.

 When she returns, there’s a tiny peep of surprise that he’d become shirtless- and he was definitely an attractive man, intimidating even more so now, but in his apparent state, she doubts he could hurt a fly. Weakly, when offered another full bottle of water, he takes it, but drinks more gingerly now, gaze falling to the floor. His feline friend curls up on the couch beside him, pressed to his thigh and purring loudly her content. “My names Holly, by the way,” timidly, she takes a spot beside him on the couch; it’s long enough they’re not sharing space, so he doesn’t feel any more uncomfortable than he already was. “And you are…?”

A long moment of silence, but he looks like he’s actively thinking, so she lets him take him time. “I…. I don’t know,” he does know, but it’s more than complicated to explain ‘I’m the unfortunate amalgamation of two men that used to be one man which is why we’re together again but now we don’t feel like any of the men we were once a part of so now none of the three names I could choose from feel ‘correct’.’ Moreso now, the thought frustrates him, his nose wrinking in distaste and body sinking into the cushions of the couch. Out of some instinct, his hand snakes around one fluffy body to his side, fingers wriggling beneath the chin of a more than willing purrble to pet.

Tsking her tongue, “That’s no good. I guess I’ll just keep calling your stranger for now, 'till you can get your thoughts straight. You think you’ll sit put for a while if I go out for a bit? I have some errands to do- but I want to make sure you stay safe.” Oh, please stop sounding so genuine. He wants to snap at her and her naivety, her baseless empathy to a stranger- a stranger such as himself, whom once destroyed this very island, and countless other worlds; recently even, they nearly destroyed the entire universe for the whims of his ancient other. He opens his mouth to retort something vile, but when his eyes meet hers, it slowly clamps shut again, and he stares down at the floor- and then at his hand, and a sleepy cat that lays beneath it.

“I don’t think I could leave if I wanted to.” Which is only sort of a lie. If he desperately required to leave, he would leave. But he’s not desperate, only a little inconvenienced.

Rising again from her sit on the couch, “Alright! The kitchen is just around the corner, so if you need more water, hopefully you can make it over,” reaching over, she gives him a solid and ‘comforting’ pat on the leg, before heading out the door. Who just… drags a strange, scary man into their house and.. leaves them there. Taking more sips of water, he’s feeling somewhat better already- and not just in the department of overheating, but in general with the state of his body and the pain that was jolting him earlier. Is this… comfort? Is he actually honestly comfortable in this situation? Beyond the sea air that encompasses this world, her house scents of old coffee grounds from likely her morning, a lingering hint of fresh linen drying on the line outside. Something vaguely floral, like… ah, what were they called. Lilacs, or jasmine. Somehow in the train of thought that involved the intense detailing of the smell of the place, his eyes shutter close and he finds himself drifting away from consciousness.

It’s an excellent way to pass the time. The sun is nearly down again by the time he reopens them to the sounds of working in the kitchen nearby. His feline friend has wandered off, and oh, also he’s sideways on the couch now. Wonder how he, or perhaps she managed to change position without realizing. A long time is spent staring at the roof and listening to her hum and work away, cleaning and what have you, but she ducks her head in for a moment to check in on him, and catches the open eyes staring at the roof, “Ohp- you’re awake! Or, you’d rather not be awake,” her sentence ends with a small laugh, and with a wet rag still in her hand, walks closer to loom over him, gently draping the cloth across his forehead.

Ah, that felt nice. Eyes flick upwards to her, humming a moment of thought, “Ahh.... I don’t think I’d rather be asleep. I’d rather be awake, and able to freely move, and be on my way, but alas. Here I am.”

Another exhaled laugh, she brushes a hand through his hair, “Gloomy fellow, huh?” 

“Indeed," Eyes squint nearly shut when fingers weave into his hair, a pleasant feeling crawling down his spine- why doesn't he mind when she touches him?

“Well, that’s alright, sometimes people are like that,” pat pat pat. No, really, us- why is this more appealing than not? “You think you wanna eat anything?”

“I could probably eat many things,” and he attempts to heft his weight back to sitting, the rag draped on his head slipping to the floor. A few tries, and he’s up with an exerted grunt with a helpful push from Holly on his back. How are we still tired. When she mentions it, though- yeah, some of this is ‘hungry’, isn’t it? It nearly starts the woman laughing when he raises a hand to casually poke at his stomach. “Mmnn..”

“.. I have never seen a man look so confused about the concept of wanting to eat,” a humoured tone in her voice, but she wanders off again, only to return a few minutes later with a sandwich. She doesn’t mind when he takes it without any other words; there was something obviously ‘wrong’ with the man she’s taken into her house, and she only hopes he opens up a bit with time- though she's slightly taken aback when he peers at it curiously, opens it up, and casually discards the meat between before eating the bread, lettuce and cheese without. Peanut butter next time, she thinks. Nothing screamed ‘psychotic wielder of darkness’, mostly just ‘injured man who might’ve washed up from a shipwreck with mild brain damage’. More curiosities arise when at first he eats in the same manner he’s done everything else, vaguely vacant and ‘gloomy’, but he seems to.. alight, once it’s actively in his mouth. And then, the sandwich is _gone._ “Ohh, okay,” she can’t help but laugh, before wandering away for something more substantial.

She misses a conversation occurring mentally, however, so she doesn’t even get an explanation if she wanted it. -What did you not, eat while you were…?- -I did, but I didn’t _enjoy_ it. What excuse do you have?- -Heartless.. don’t eat. My body was fake, no requirement to?- And now, they get to sit here and look vaguely foolish while cramming an entire sandwich down their throat, sans the meat they unconsciously find distasteful. Where some nobodies in the ‘first’ Organization kept up and pretended to enjoy eating, and taste, and a feeling of fullness, Xemnas had no time for that- or forethought, really. Now, however, he’s recalling the way food tastes, and how it’s easing a strain in his organs. He perks up substantially, eyes wide and curious when she returns with more, “Ohp- _there_ you are!”, which is a statement he doesn’t understand and might think about questioning, but instead, his body demands he _consumes._

Though he feels he could theoretically eat more, Holly decides not to let him go overboard. Ten minutes pass in a perhaps ‘awkward’ silence when a thought occurs to him, and rumbling under his breath, “Thank you.” That’s what we’re supposed to do, yes? It’s hard to say if he’s really ‘thankful’ or not- but he knows that’s what he’s supposed to do.

She’s on the couch beside him again, leaning over a basket of laundry as she folds it out on the coffee table in front of them. Tilting her head over, she blinks, but smiles softly, “It’s no problem. We’re a tight-knit people here, you might want to know, in case you’re here to stay,” a hand reaches over to pat his thigh a moment, giving him a comforting squeeze. There’s that strange pang in his chest again when she does that- it isn’t disapproval, but he can’t put his finger on what else it could be. Eyes flick down to her hand to stare and, accidentally, displays his vacant confusion. “.. You act like you’ve never been touched before in your life.”

A short moment of thought, “I have.” It’s not as if he cared when someone brushed up on him in a hallway…?

“I meant like…,” a hum in her throat, “I meant like, a friendly pat, a hug.” She looks so concerned with his flat response, and perhaps a deep misunderstanding of life as she knows it.

Oh. Yeah no, that wasn’t really something he really understood. Was this nice? He didn’t hate it. His gaze slowly lifts to hers, and an eyebrow raises in his confusion. “Oh. No, that was not a consideration of my past.”

She can’t help but laugh at how clinically he puts it. “Didn’t you say you had a crew! For your, ship, or something.”

His eyebrow does not un-raise. “Do people… touch their crew?”

Both hands remove themselves to press over her face, stifling a laugh that farts air between her palms with each exhaled breath. Now his eyebrows are furrowed in confusion, he has no idea what he’s said. “Pfffblbltt, no- I mean, _yes,_ man you are something, aren’t you. Your world must’ve been, miserable.”

“…Unfortunately, no, I believe I was the one who was, ‘different,” he stops and thinks about it, expression falling tired and vacant once more as he gestures loosely with his hand. “When you put it that way, they were often friendly. With each other, not me.”

Slowly, her hands slink down from her face, because that’s gotta be the saddest thing she’s ever damned heard. “… Do you miss them?”

A long silence. “I don’t deserve to miss them, or be missed.” He doesn’t sound particularly saddened by this, more just stating a genuine fact.

That doesn’t help her expression of pity, and again a hand rests on his leg, “Well, you can work on that. There’s always time and room to improve.” He shrugs, and he opens his mouth to speak again but is silenced- “Alright, I think that’s enough. You’re sick and tired, you can tell me more about your dark and mysterious past tomorrow, ok?”

A confused blinking and a cant of his head, but he’s not feeling obtrusive enough to call her out of brushing that over. If anything- he doesn’t really want to ruin the good thing they have going on right now either. Not yet, at least. “Alright.”

Pat pat pat, he can’t help but look down at her hand on his leg again, following it with his gaze as it draws back when she moves to stand. “You’ll hurt your back just sleeping on the couch- I have a spare bedroom upstairs you can stay in. Well, my son’s room, but he hasn’t come around in a while, so it’s fine. If he shows up, he’ll sleep on the couch instead for making his mother worry,” she hums a singsong tone in mocking, but he can tell the subject is pained in her heart. Rising alongside with her assistance, he slowly follows behind as they make their way upstairs. While he’s sitting, it’s easy to forget the pain of existence, but it flares up again whenever he attempts to walk. Rumbling to himself, this better not keep up. They head past a bedroom at first, though she does point it out before continuing, “Down the hall here is the bathroom, and my bedroom is downstairs, so if you need anything, give me a shout!”

A nod from him, and just like that- he’s alone again. Given the chance though, now, we might as well waddle over to the bathroom to deal with some… personal business. He’s seen down his body now, still shirtless, but that doesn’t describe a face. They know the two of them were not entirely twinned in their looks despite being… each other. Nothing a mirror can’t fix. Somehow, he still finds himself timidly entering, eyes squeezing themselves shut as he steps over tile floors, hands fumbling over the edge of the sink. As if the sight of them as one will undo whatever universal bonding that has been put on them. Slowly, an eye peeks open, and a second shortly after, to peer at himself. Oh. Looking upwards to his hair, right down the middle; half spikes up in accordance to ‘Xemnas’, in a line of tufts with bangs hanging over the eye to his right, while the other half swoops in one, singular strand, akin to ‘Ansem’. That, you know what sure, that makes sense. However his eyes are a more confusing subject, because it adds a third lister; the right eye beneath 'Xemnas' bangs is that shining golden-amber, while the other is a flat, dark grey. Whose…whose eye is that. Why would I know. Gaze listing off to the side, they think about anyone they know with darker eyes, but nothing comes to mind. Is this what colour our eyes were before we fell to darkness? Weren't they brown... Xehanort’s eyes were yellow- but were they _always_ yellow? A hand raises to scratch at his chin, squinting in thought. Swathes of their memory was missing. Anything before ‘them’, including parts of being one possessed apprentice ‘Terra’nort, and almost everything as old man 'Xehanort'. So, we’d truly become our own people, hmn? Then why not make… two people. Perhaps, the ‘heart’ could never run itself, and he was not strong enough to make his own body, living 'dependently' on Xehanort's will and haphazard replicas. The body had no connection, no memory to make its own 'full' heart, an inkling blink of loneliness. This really was the.. ‘best’, option for them, to produce one ‘whole’ Somebody. Ahhh, and fitting for them, too, how horrible and uncomfortable it was to attempt at making this ‘work’. Well, the worst that can happen is them splitting once more, becoming the vile heartless and nobody Ansem and Xemnas, and either plotting something again, and getting our asses inevitably kicked by teenagers and a mouse, or to hide in crippling seclusion. Alright, universe. I guess this is how life is going to be for the moment. First- we need to work on being ‘me’, and not ‘us’. Rubbing his face, he slowly waddles off towards the bedroom.

Inside is a bed he is too tall for, but still longer than the couch was, and with pillows and blankets he immediately curls beneath. Before that, though, a window to the side becomes open to the salty sea breeze, blowing curtains across the room and directly into his face. After fumbling with that for a moment, he plops his half-dressed, blanket covered ass down onto squeaky mattress, and stares vacantly at the roof for a long while. In tired bored, gaze moves around the toys and decorations littering the room- the child must’ve been somewhat young, and not just an adult who’d moved away from home. Is… is something about this familiar? He’d… destroyed this island once… but that doesn’t explain a weird sense of familiarity he holds here. Snuffling into the air- does something smell familiar? The sea air? With the memory issues, he loses hope he will recall what he thinks he remembers, and eye shutter closed again to sleep in the fresh night air.

* * *

The next day when Holly tries to take out her garbage, _something_ is rooting around in her garden. At first, she thinks it’s another lost, shrouded figure- and the stranger did say he had a ‘crew’, so perhaps… But when it tilts up to the sound of her approach, its body twists in a wholly unnatural way, craning its neck backward to clack its chompy jaws, and stare its beady eyes at her from below an unzipped hood. It snaps shut when she looks back, the thing shrinking down behind the fence of her garbage shed. Nothing about it seems malicious, but its disturbing way of moving still has her startling with a yelp and after very delicately moving around it and setting her garbage down beside the door, she skitters back inside to collect herself.

To her startling again- the stranger is up, at the top of the stairs, peering down in curiosity with his duo-toned hues. “I heard you scream.” He’s not exactly sure why he feels concern for this woman, but he interprets it as the necessity of her being alive for him to crash in her house, and not the suggestion he actually cares.

Well, 'scream’ is an overstatement, she thinks, and since she was outside, “You’ve got good ears! Ahh, it’s nothing…er… Alright, it’s not nothing. There was a monster in my garbage.” She places her hands on either hip, lips pursed in thought.

He blinks, a look of mild concern and he very slowly hobbles his way downstairs. “What kind of monster.” He speaks like he’s not surprised or concerned to the idea that monsters are in fact, a thing, but rather insinuates that some might be worse than others.

“Auh, ohh…. A white one, I guess? Wiggly… boy,” nodding to herself, she’s not entirely sure how to explain- but the stranger seems to relax significantly to her explanation.

“Is it still out there?” His tone of voice is much softer this morning, she thinks.

“Oh, maybe? I didn’t bother with it, just set my garbage out and came back in. I was going to think about what I was planning to do….”

Down the stairs now, he heads towards the back door, but she snags him by the arm. Tilting his head towards her, “It’s fine. I will tell it to leave.”

“You make you sound like you know it!”

“I do.” A small shrug. No reason to lie.

A mock offended expression, but she lets him go. She had a suspicion he would know, even before he came down. “Are they your…friends? The ones from your…crew?...was your ship run by monsters?” She’s looking a lot more curious than concerned now, and as he walks, he offers her to follow with a beckoning hand. He’s still shirtless, however, and she’s not sure he should go outside quite like that; bending to the side as they pass a hung up towel, she drapes it over his shoulders and head with a hefty through, and he catches it to tug it over his eyes. His back remains visible to her, however, and the explanation to why she’d thought he’d know of the creature in her back yard. A mark between his shoulders, more like a scar than a tattoo- and it’s very similar to a pattern the creature wore on its… ‘clothes’? Its hood? But not exactly the same, something else is overlayed on top of the strangers like two symbols intertwined.

“Indeed. They were some of my... crew. They’re likely lost as well, but can travel more freely than me. I might have attracted them.” He squints in even the morning sunlight, a frustrated noise grumbling unconsciously from his throat as he pulls the given towel over his head like a hood, stepping slowly into the grass. The woman behind him points out a nearby shed- and he can already see the dusk, because it’s casually chewing into her garbage bag to steal scraps.

“Augh! You little heathen- get out of my trash!” Suddenly, any of her initial fear is gone, and she’s grabbing the outdoor broom to whack at the monster- which garbles its distress and bends disgustingly out of her way and back behind the shed.

A low chuckle in his voice at these antics, but then his voice booms, “Come.”

It even has Holly startled for a second, looking back at him- and then, from a seeming void, four more appear into existence- and the one she was previously harassing slinks across the ground like a snake until it is at the stranger’s heel with the rest. Two of the new ones look like the first- but two others look much different. Darker gray, with tall ‘hats’ for heads, and swords on their back and side that hands rest on idly. The original and its two other similars seem rooted to the ground as they stand, but their top halves never stop _moving_ ; the two with swords stand near motionless. They all peer up towards their master as called, attentive and listening. “Whoa! Where did they come from….” Approaching him now, she looks to the stranger to gauge the situation, but there isn’t an ounce of apprehension in him. They were his ‘crew’, apparently.

“Hiding out on this island, perhaps. Just you five?” One of the larger sworded ones nods, its ‘hood’, ‘hat’ thing peeling open at the bottom to reveal a head and mouth much akin to the other smaller one. Beady, pupiless eyes peering outwards, though it is hard to tell what direction they’re exactly facing. “And why is that?” The dominant one, apparently, raises a hand and points a finger at the stranger. “Ah, I see. You should know that I have become a.. ‘Somebody’- you are under no obligation to keep around with me. In fact, even if I wasn’t- you still aren’t obligated to listen to me. We have failed.” Ducking his head down, the stranger looks legitimately apologetic about his apparent failure. The creatures duck their head as well, a moment of silent reflection, but the dominant sword bearer looks up to him again, and somehow, warbles speech. Not out loud, but a weird, reverberating feeling in their heads- a familiar feeling to the stranger, but an wholly uncomfortable experience to Holly.

-You did not fail. You have a heart. And in that, hope may remain. May we stay with you, my liege?-

He does not look comforted by that, unsure of what to say. This isn’t his house, this isn’t his world-

“Are you guys just hungry?” Holly interjects, the dominant tilts its head back, its hood zipping shut once more, but it nods. “Well…. Alright. But you can’t just go rooting in people’s garbage! And you can’t just steal food, either… I’m sure we can figure something out,” and she’s just so, stalwart about it! Just like she was just yesterday to him, and he inhales, holds his breath a moment, and siiiighs, a low laugh escaping him once more, but pained now as his head slowly shakes.

“You remind me of someone…” he hums, a hand raising to scratch the underside of his jaw. Distracted again, however, he notes a dusk with a still opened hood, its mouth laid open and drooling. Reaching over, he less than gently tugs it by the head, prying its mouth open to see what its managed to get caught in its teeth. It doesn’t enjoy this, but doesn’t have the agency to get him to stop, it just flails its wiggly limbs and complains with garbled noises.

Blinking at that, she takes a moment to regard what he said instead of questioning the manhandling. “Ah, reminds you of someone?... Someone nice?”

“Indeed, he was very nice. Sometimes. Sometimes he would, perhaps, chase you around with a broom.” A quiet laugh under his breath, and he pries bits of coconut husk from the poor dusks mouth, freeing it to clack its jaw a moment before zipping its hood back closed. Peering at the husk-like substance between his fingers, the stranger doesn’t recognize what it is immediately-

“Oh, ha! They’re trying to eat coconuts,” she stifles a laugh with her palm, “They must be really desperate. You can’t open them with your teeth!” It simply shrinks down further- the same one that was eating garbage earlier. The dominant one reaches over to give it an ineffectual swat. “Oh, come now. Alright- so, just the five? Or, is there more.” The dominant one nods. Oh, oh so many more. Looking up to the stranger, whose nose wrinkles in distaste.

“No, you cannot all come here. Does the world still exist? It’s just… empty now, yes? Or is it significantly damaged?” It nods, thinking its thoughts for a long moment.

-Damaged, empty, but livable. We hunger. Aimless. No direction. One leader remains, and he is…him…. useless.-

“How incredibly vague.” Somehow, he feels obligated to solve this issue. They are technically ‘his’ nobodies. He took advantage of them as pawns, mindless masses to fuel his war. Now that there is no war, he.. he somehow, cannot leave them to waste. Those who are rejected by light and darkness, no one else to turn to. Even now, he sees them reconnecting and regrowing their lost hearts- but it will be to no avail, not for these weaker, lost beings. “I cannot solve the entire issue at this very moment. I will work towards a solution. For now, please stay non-combative. Roam to worlds in secret, taking what you can to survive- but stay passive. I will come for you all, and we will figure this out.” It feigns elation to this, posture perking- and it nods, almost excitedly, turning towards the other bladed one who’d remained all but vacant for the situation. It nods as well, and in a puff of thorns, they disappear into the apparent void once more. The three dusks, however, stay. The garbage eater sinks to the floor uncomfortably, and the other two crowd around it, poking with long digits. Teasing the submissive other.

The stranger's eyes flick to Holly, who looks entirely _curious_. “And you said they wouldn’t miss you!” A playful shove, he looks legitimately embarrassed for around half a second before returning to his general stoic state.

“I don’t know if this is ‘miss’ as much as ‘require’. They don’t like me- I am just a necessity. I’m impressed in this state I have any sway whatsoever.” Closing his eyes, he lets out a yawn, shoulders shrugging up uncomfortably as he readjusts his stance, stumbling.

“Ohp, back inside for you-“ turning around him, she moves to push him back inside, but he doesn’t resist, he’d like to sit down for a while again.

Before that, however, he points to the remaining dusks, “Stay out of trouble. Do not eat garbage. Ask the Samurai to break the coconuts for you first.”


	2. Chapter 2

Riku is almost calm again from the last days events- and then he _spots it_. A nobody, a dusk, half up a coconut tree, reaching for one of the fruits at the top. Beneath it is three others- two more dusks, and a higher standing nobody, a ‘Samurai’, if he’s remembering the notes from Sora that Jiminy took. At first, he moves to intervein while summoning his keyblade, but he notices that they’re just.. climbing a tree.. trying to get a coconut. That is… _very strange_. So he crouches in a bush nearby, and just… observes. Pulling his gummiphone from his pocket and shooting Kairi a quick message to meet him here. Thankfully enough, she’s nearby. The fifth nobody and second Samuri is perched above, on a cliff overlooking the beach- above Riku unseen and watching protectively- but as the keyblade wielder stops his incoming attack, so does it, and simply watches him below.

The dusk gets to the top, curling its fingers around a coconut- but slips off and falls to the ground with a hearty ‘thud’ as its feet catch the invisible air but its body continues to fall. Riku catches himself feeling sorry for the thing for a short moment, but... It’s just a lesser nobody, no reason to feel anything for it... but why are they trying to get a coconut… Another one tries, another dusk, but this one is even worse; it doesn’t even reach the top before losing its grip and gyrating uselessly to the floor. The final one flexes its ‘muscles’ before it tries, posturing its apparent superiority, and with great effort, slowly crawls up, up, up, until…! It has one, one that is actually ripe and edible this time, and with a few tugs the coconut topples to the ground below. It even goes back for seconds and ends up with three knocked down for it and its cohorts. It also flops down, but catches its wiggling form in that weird, amorphous way they do, before it steps down into the sand. One eager dusk attempts to chew its way into a coconut- but finally, the samurai reacts, whapping the dusk out of the way before it can make the same mistake again. Effortlessly, it unsheathes a sword, aiming the point down, cracking down into and through the hard shell to leave two pieces. For each one it does this, and once all are open, it returns its sword to its place, leaning down to grab a single half. Its hood opens- which Riku isn’t sure he’s ever seen that type do, and chomps down into the meaty bits inside- and once the apparent leader of the group eats, the others dart in for their halves. That leaves two other halves, however, which is curious. Standing, Riku finally decides its time to timidly approach the group, which attracts the attention of the samurai. At first, it stands upright, almost posturing, because well, keyblade wielder. But it has been commanded to remain docile, so it does. The dusks crowd behind it, but it relaxes, still holding the remnants of its coconut, its face and eyes revealed; slowly raising one hand, it…waves. Hello keyblade warrior. Yes, I see you. I am but a humble, friendly boy, stealing coconuts for my children. Pay no mind. It actually catches Riku for a loop, and he stands more upright, letting his blade evaporate in the air as a sign of his own peaceful desires. He knows samurai can be fast, but he trusts himself to be much faster if the time comes. Step by step, he approaches the group, until he’s face to face with them. He didn’t think he would get this far. He doesn’t know what to do now.

“Wow! You’re right, look at them all!” Oh thank god it’s Kairi. She is not slowed down at all by this very strange turn of events. Running on over, she stops short of where Riku stands, leaning down with hands on thighs to peer face to face with the samurai’s beady eyes. “What are you guys doing hanging out here!” She doesn’t sound mad, just curious. It looks down a moment to the coconut husk, and then up at the tree, and then back at its cowering cohorts. “Oh, you just wanted to… eat some coconuts..?” It nods. “So, you’re staying out of trouble?” It enthusiastically nods! Looking back to Riku, a smile still across her face, and she.. shrugs! “I don’t know, man! Nobodies were always a bit different from heartless- they’re not driven by darkness, or any one insatiable need- except well, to get hearts. But I think that was something Xemnas was pressing. I think maybe, without a leader, they’re just like…this now, maybe?”

He’s less assured than his friend, but also wouldn’t doubt her expertise. “... Yeah, I guess. No harm in eating coconuts…? But, why here?”

“’Cause Destiny Island has the best ones, of course!” .. It nods. It’s true. There are many places coconuts live- but these ones are particularly delicious. No reason to mention their wayward master. The dusks slowly come from their hiding place, heads bobbing curiously, hoods unzipping to peer up at a somewhat familiar face. They know Kairi! She was a prisoner for a little while. She was surprisingly friendly and easy to work with, and then she had a keyblade, and then she became _significantly harder_ to work with. “Man, you guys sure are cute.” A benefit to them. Cute things tend to be destroyed less- when they’re behaving, at least. The garbage eater, or to Riku, the one that only got halfway up the tree, wobbles closer, past the samurai, and reaches up with its wiggly arms to Kairi’s face, giving her a tiny squish. And, in response, she reaches right back down, giggling as she offers a squeeze of her own! “Oh man, you guys act completely different when you’re by yourselves. That’s a big shame. Except, not really, because that means maybe we can live in peace!”

Riku sighs, and nods. This actually is preferable, given the circumstances they’re under. Nobodies will always still exist as long as the heartless do. And the heartless are _not_ control or work-able, but if the nobodies can be… “Alright… you guys can stay. But you gotta keep out of trouble.” The samurai nods. This has already been commanded, but under the threat of destruction, it becomes even more vital. Now that that is settled, it moves backward, picking up the remaining two uneaten halves of coconuts. Looking back for a short moment, its hood zips shut, and in a pulse of white and thorns, it disappears into the void- alongside the three dusks shortly after. There’s a long pause of silence between Kairi and Riku as he thinks, “Something makes me think this is still related to that thing we saw fall a few days ago. Maybe it was a powerful nobody falling.”

“So what if it was? They were making it obvious they weren’t interested in fighting us.”

“Right now, they’re not fighting us, but what about later.. These islands have been through enough-“ wrapping fingers around his arm, she wrangles him into a hug, staring up with big, apologetic sapphire eyes.

“But we’re here now. And if something is wrong, we can figure it out.” She makes the perfect little exaggerated pouty face, and he can’t help but relent.

“Alright- but I’m staying on my toes for the next few days. I think I’m going to stop by Sora’s place… tomorrow, maybe.”

“Oh? Gonna check up on his mom?” Her expression fades, eyes listing off to the side. She has, so far, not successfully brought her son home, so she hadn’t been to see her herself. Neither of them is sure how to explain the situation.

“Yeah… it’s, it’s been a while.” They’d both been avoiding it since Kairi’s return, and Sora’s… not, return. He might come back still… maybe.. hopefully.

* * *

The day progresses much like a normal day for her would, but with the added bonus of a large, tired man occasionally being ‘in her way’. He sits on the couch and stares vacantly at nothing as she chores around her house, disappearing occasionally for outdoor errands. At one point, his half-asleep state is interrupted by the familiar sound of a portal forming, and as his eyes open, he’s greeted by one of the samurai. Before he can question it, it offers forward.. half a coconut. “Ah…thank you…?” He’s not sure he’s going to appreciate eating this, but takes it anyways, and the nobody is gone again before he can decide to give it back. When Holly returns, he’s gingerly picking at the meat inside, not enjoying it as much as he loved the sandwich yesterday, or the breakfast she made this morning, but not hating it enough to put it down.

“And where did you get that!” She questions excitedly, eyebrows furrowed when he stares down at it with much of his own confusion.

“One of my, ‘friends’, came back to offer it to me. I didn’t know they were the type to… share.”

“Sounds like they’re just thankful you’re giving them a hand. Well, once you’re back on your feet.”

“They don’t feel thankful. They don’t feel… anything.”

She doesn’t understand that at all, head tilting, “Well, I don’t know what makes you think that, because people don’t just offer you a coconut when they’re apparently starving just because they can. Maybe you need to give them more credit!”

“.. Perhaps,” he nods, maybe his understanding was suspect, “In my absence, they have learned to act a way I had not predicted.” Tapping the side of the near empty shell, he rumbles barely over his breath, “It only makes me feel worse about the situation.”

“Well, like I said before- there’s always room to improve! And it sounds like you want to improve.”

He nods, “I think I do.”

“You think?”

“My head is full of empty space and lost connections. Anything I do now is seemingly in baseless instinct that I have little control over.” Oh boy, he sure does love to say lots of things that make little to no sense to her. Leaning down, she offers what she can, which is a firm pat to the shoulder. “… I think I’d like to go for a walk.”

“.. I don’t want to tell you ‘no’, but I also know you haven’t really gotten up all day.”

“Indeed. I’d like to believe my energy reserves have been met, and I could go for a short walk to clear my head, perhaps.”

Tilting on her heels, she thinks about it for a second, “Alright- but I have to find something for you to wear. Your weird robes aren’t going to work in the sun.”

Nothing in her house really… ‘fits’ him, exactly. But she offers a few loose blouses that would be more like dresses on her, and thankfully enough, he doesn’t seem to give even a mote of care to what they look like, only how they feel. He ends up in a wavy blue sundress that looks so terrifyingly unfitting to the rest of his personality, she can hardly help the giggle. There’s no way he’ll fit any of her pants, so he keeps his black tights, but she does manage to find a pair of sandals so he doesn’t have to sweat to death in his boots.

Man, if anyone he knew before could see him now- this _is_ Destiny Island, he is expecting, at some point, to be accosted by keyblade wielding teenagers who will immediately want to assault him. Then again, maybe the outfit will throw them for a loop enough he'll be able to explain himself. A wide-brimmed hat and dark lensed sunglasses are the final touches to save his eyes, and they stand outside her back yard a long moment as he decides whether or not he really is going out. A short nod, and as he mimics from her behavior, a hand slaps over her shoulder to give her a firm, reciprocal patting. He might need to work on reigning back the force of impact on that, but she understands what he’s trying to do. “I’ll be back later.”

A little jolted from the physical touch, then looking up at him with concern- but nods herself. He’s a big, tough dude. And she can’t keep projecting her sense of loss on the stranger. “Alright. If you walked near the beach... if you get too hot, that’s a good way to cool off! But don’t go too deep, or you’ll get swept out by an undertow.”

He nods, vaguely familiar with how the ocean works despite not distinctly remembering being often near them. One more firm shake, before he wordlessly walks off through the back alley. She’s getting used to him never wanting to have the last word on things. It’s the late afternoon, so several people do cross his path, but the moment he mentions he’s a visitor of Holly’s, apparently her social credit is high enough that even though there’s confusion, they no longer question it. She’s a good, well known and appreciated woman and honestly, a lot of strangers have been turning up on the islands to ‘visit’. He learns quick that it quells initial fear due to his size and stare to say a quiet ‘hello’ first when people walk by; they feel socially obligated to say ‘hi’ back and treat one with respect just on instinct. Soon enough, he is beachside, the sand immediately slipping into his sandals uncomfortably, so he forgoes them to carry in his hands as he feels like he might be enjoying the warm between his toes.

She was right though, he’s getting too hot under this sunlight very quickly. At first, it’s hard to find a section of beach that isn’t already occupied, but soon enough there’s a small section of the shore with more rocks than sand, shaded by a cliff- so, unideal for others, but perfect for him. Low into the afternoon, he wades into the water, a chill rolling up his spine, but it isn’t terrible. He wades into the shallow shoreline, barely reaching his knees where he feels he shouldn’t go much further, and then plops down into the water with a hearty splash. He squeaks again, thankfully unheard this time; it might not be the coldest water, but it was cooler than the hot air on his back. Floating backward, he slowly drags himself further towards the beach again, slinking up to a rock that juts from the water, hiding in the shade it provides and vegetates there for possibly too long of a time.

* * *

When Riku gets to Holly’s place, he finds her on her front step, cat in arms, and looking terribly concerned. She perks up when Riku arrives, a familiar face and a close friend of her wayward son; setting her feline down, she rises, brushing the dirt from her skirt and trying to hide away her still obvious discontent. “Oh, Riku honey! How are you doing? Just saying hi?”

Raising a brow to her previous mood, but he moves in for a familial hug, “Hey Holly! I want to tell you ‘nothing much’, but I’m afraid I have, _ulterior motives_ ,” he laughs, tone joking, but he isn’t lying.

“What! Just here to make me make you dinner or something,” he hugs him when offered- and then swats him when he laughs- which is hard, because he’s about a foot and a half taller than she is. He was always a tall boy- but she swears, when he and her son went missing for two years, Riku decided he would grow an extra two feet, while Sora remained…short. Since the last time she saw her son, at least.

“Ohhh, I might. Not what I’m here for, no. First though- what’s up with you? Sitting out here on your porch, doing nothing in particular. That’s not like you,” leaning back from the hug, a hand remains on her shoulder, looking down in concern.

“Ahhhh, it’s. it’s….nothing…” But his stare breaks through her abysmal facade, “Ok, this is weird, alright?”

“…Alright, I’m listening.”

“A man showed up in my bushes the other day.”

An eyebrow raises, face scrunching with concern. “A…man?” That is extremely disconcerting considering the nobodies earlier.

She notices his response of fear, immediately attempting to speak up for her stranger, “Yes- and he was hurt! And apparently from far away- because he has _no idea_ how to deal with the heat. And he was just weird and gloomy and… I don’t know! I let him inside, and I fed him food, and he scared some monsters out of my garbage….”

“… Monsters in your garbage?”

“Oh yeah, it was weird. These strange, really wiggly monsters. He was their friend, I guess.”

Riku is having trouble not wearing his discomfort on his face. “…And.. they didn’t attack you?” Probably the same nobodies from before. But who are they following?

“No! They just wanted to know how to get inside a coconut.”

“… They figured it out,” he sighs, a nervous laugh escaping him.

“Oh good, you’ve seen them around! Now I don’t sound completely insane. They are good boys too, I’m sure.”

“.. Holly… What did this man look like,” his tone is dark and concerned. Listing off the remaining Organization members in his head, he’s not sure who else isn’t ‘whole’ again to command the remaining lesser nobodies.

“… Oh no don’t tell me this is worse then I thought. You know- Sora sat me down once and told me this far-fetched tales of adventure and danger! And I know the monsters he told me about- it was nothing like these ones! And nothing like the stranger. He’s quiet, and gloomy- but he isn’t evil.” Like a fire, she approaches with a waggling finger,

“Ok, ok!” He raises defensive hands- but he really does need to know which Nobody she’s apparently adopted.

Squinting at him discerningly, “… Either way, even though he was sick, I let him go for a walk because he was feeling stifled, and he said he wouldn’t be long, but it’s been four hours! It’s going to be dark soon… I don’t even know where to look…. And what if I go out, and he comes back and I’m not here,” there is so much motherly frowning occurring, and Riku has her by the shoulders again,

“Alright, alright. Tell me what he looks like. I will go look for him, and I’ll call Kairi, too.”

An apprehensive hand raises to scratch the underside of her jaw, worried, but out of options. “A… Tall man, well built. Dark skinned with white hair, long near the back, kinda… spikey at the top… but only on one side….”

Riku’s heart _sinks,_ eyes widening _._ Holly sees and feels that change, but he tries to act natural, “…Alright… were his eyes gold?” …. Maybe he isn’t fallen to darkness anymore?...shouldn’t he be Xehanort…old…

“… Uhh… one of them," she squints, gesturing a '1' with her index finger, "The other is kinda black, honestly.”

…strange. He inhales, slow and methodically, holding his breath a moment before releasing to calm himself. “Alright… We will go look.”

“Wait wait- no, ok, apparently it’s bad- but he’s, I swear, he’s not all bad anymore!”

“I- with all due respect, Holly, I know this man, and-“

“No waaaaaait!” Abruptly, she reaches up to grab his face, squishing Riku’s cheeks, “He knows he was bad! He feels bad about being bad! He was sad his friends were hungry and told them he would help them! And I _know_ he wasn’t lying. Can you, for ME, please.. give him a chance? Even if he was the worst of the worst, the bad of the bad…. He could be great if you give him a chance.” Oh, she has the puppiest of motherly looks available.

There’s a very long moment of silence, face still being gently squished, before her hands fall back down, and wrap around Riku’s hands. He should say no. Ansem, or Xemnas, it’s hard to tell which this would be, should be irredeemable. But… She’s right. Everyone does deserve a chance. He was given his own chance- “Alright. I will,” he nods, giving her a soft smile, “I will go find him, bring him back here, and we can talk about it, alright?”

It brightens her mood back up instantaneously, “…A-, alright! I’ll be here in case he comes back!”

One more short hug, and he’s on his way, very quickly calling Kairi to give her the very unfortunate details.

* * *

Oh boy it has been _hours,_ hasn't it. A blessing he has enough mental processing to not sink into the water enough to drown, but he lays so long in the sea the skin of his shoulders pricks with overexposure from the sun, the ends of each digit pruned uncomfortably. The pros, however, he is not hot, and isn’t that the best outcome anyways. Something else about just sitting in this clear, bright water that fulfills him so viscerally he couldn’t convince himself to leave, even with the lingering thought of Holly’s worry itching at the back of his skull.

What does perk his attention is the sound of movement from behind- someone sneaking up on him, which worked when they were on the sand, but stopped working as they hit the water, the waves of the tide striking their legs in a noise that disrupted the flow he’s been getting used to over the past few hours. Slowly, he cranes his neck around, expecting some stranger, but his posture stiffens when instead he’s struck with recognition.

She immediately raises both hands in defense when ‘Xemnas’ goes from the sleepiest, most content looking man she’s ever seen, to a cornered cat. “Whoa whoa whoa WAIT..!” And, somewhat to Kairi’s surprise- he does, relaxing back into the water. Still uncomfortable, sure, but not about to attack; just like the nobodies her and Riku saw earlier, hiding beneath the brim of his hat. “… Xemnas?”

He.. shrugs, slowly, lifting a hand to gesture it vaguely, “Not…really. Sort of…half…..,” he mumbles at the end, unsure of what to tell her.

“.. Oh. Huh. Uhhh- someone’s looking for you! Do you know how long you’ve been out?”

“No,” slowly, he moves to stand, but floating around for so long has made his limbs a bit like jelly- not to mention his general weakness and the fact he’d had a long walk earlier. Kairi watches him wobble for a moment, but when he attempts to walk through the wake of the shores water and falters, she waddles up and offers him an arm.

“Not feeling so hot, huh?”

“No. Forgive me for even asking,” he takes her arm, using her more to settle his balance rather than demanding she holds any of his weight, “I’m surprised to see you alive.”

“Same for you, you know!”

He hums, not receiving an answer. He technically didn’t ‘ask’ anything, though, and if she isn’t interested in saying it plainly, he won’t press. He already knew ‘their’ master plan has failed.

She’s looking up at him with the most curious look, and when he’s walking through the water, it takes too much focus to look down back and gauge the expression, but once they’re on the shore, his eyes flick down to hers. They hold staring for a second but then she falters, looking down to the sand instead. “Are you.. y’know… ‘You’, again, then? Xehanort?”

“…I think something like that… But it isn’t right.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t think it was supposed to hurt this much.” Stumbling still, he ignores the sand sticking to his feet as they wander to retrieve sandals and make their very slow walk back to Holly’s place.

Scratching her chin a moment, she still offers a hand until they’re on the solid ground of road, “Yeah, you’re not looking so hot. It isn’t supposed to hurt- Lea never complained about that. Not that he would but- I would probably notice if he was stumbling around like he’s drunk.”

He exhales what she might consider a laugh, “Well, good for me then, I suppose. And why are you playing so nice, hmn?”

A small shrug, “I’m always nice.” He remembers her fighting. She is not always nice. “Also though- you know Axel kidnapped me? Put me in a prison, threatened to hurt me to use me as bait for Sora. Now we’re good friends.”

He was vaguely aware of Axel’s mutiny that involved kidnapping, despite not having a personal hand in it; Saix took advantage of it later, though. He nods, slowly in his understanding. He is ‘somebody’ again, so that then makes him perhaps redeemable? “Well, to that, even if I felt like being a nuisance, I’m not even sure I could in these states.”

“That entirely helps,” she laughs, quietly. “We found some of your friends earlier, too. They were being pretty chill.”

“The Nobodies?... And, who to you is ‘we’?”

“Ah, me and Riku,” gaze falls to the ground.

His head tilts, speaking slowly, “…Sora?” A silence reigns. “My apologies.” There is a genuine surprise to hear that- that kid had kicked his ass enough times he didn’t think his demise was possible.

“He sacrificed himself for me,” tilting on her heels, he loses her grasp for a moment as she wobbles her discomfort.

“And he never came back, hmn.” That explained things better. ‘They’ were all aware Sora’s 'limitless' connections would fail him.

“No, he did not. I didn’t think it was possible for him to get lost.”

“Anyone can get lost. He spent a good majority of his time spreading himself thin- now no part of him knows where anything is.”

“That’s not really comforting to hear.”

Oh, whoops. His nose wrinkles in his distaste to that falter, and she catches that he might look regretful- which was strange to think he could feel. “Your only hope is to continue to believe he will return.”

A sad, exhaled laugh, “And you would know a lot about that, huh.”

“I would. This was literally part of my field of study when we were.. whatever we were,” a grumble of pain when he thinks about the ‘we’ for a moment, tripping up on his feet, and she offers her balance again.

“I don’t actually know anything about you when you were ‘you’. No one really likes to talk about it. You were kind of an ass. Everyone so far is just trying to get along with their lives.”

A short chuckle, “Accurate. And with the research I was doing- completely reasonable. Not even I succeeded in convincing my work to behave the way I wished it would have. Instead, it went very…poorly.”

An outright laugh from her, that she stifles with her free palm, “Poorly! That’s a way to put it!”

He thinks he ‘likes’ it when she laughs, and it’s a bit of a shock when from her giggling she looks up at him and he’s softly smiling. Of course, when she looks shocked, the expression of his fades to his standard flat and vacant. “What.”

“…. It’s just a bit weird to think of you being genuine.”

“I have a heart…maybe,” he squints.

“You definitely have a heart- and it isn’t even shrouded in darkness anymore.”

“You are so sure of this?”

“I’m a- what did you guys call it- princess of heart! I personally feel like that gives me extra jurisdiction to what a heart is feeling,” reaching over, she places a hand over his chest, stopping their leisurely walk for a moment so he doesn’t trip on her shorter self. “Yeahp, there’s a heart in there.” Admittedly, as he’s been telling her, it does feel a bit… ‘weird’. Incorrect- but not dark.

A silent moment of staring, and again his face perks up with soft humour, “Well, if you’re such a professional, can you do me a favour and tell it to stop attempting to vacate itself from my body?”

She blinks, “It’s trying to break you apart again?,” retrieving her hand, the walk begins again.

“I’m not completely sure, but that could be a reasoning behind the dysfunction of myself.”

Humming, she skips a touch when she walks, before remembering she was supposed to be acting like a walking cane and comes back to give him his support, “That’s no good. Maybe I’m biased- but already I _much_ prefer you this way,” but she pauses her words, lips pursing in thought, “Well, actually… you said it hurts and.. I mean, I don’t want you to be in pain, either-“

“I prefer this, even with the pain,” he speaks, barely over his breath. “So far, at least.”

It’s dusk by the time they get back- Kairi shoots Riku a message to tell him it’s Xemnas’ ‘Somebody’, but that he doesn’t agree he’s ‘Xehanort’ either, and that it’s ‘very complicated’, but at least behaving himself much akin to his nobodies earlier. Riku gets there before she does, but even in that time frame, can not figure out how to explain the situation to Holly. She’s just relieved her stranger isn’t hurt somewhere; that isn’t to say she’s not worried about how reserved Riku’s become about the situation, but she isn’t going to pry anything out of him until they’re all here. They all apparently know each other, even though he’d claimed to have been from very far away. Again her mind wanders to Sora’s adventurous stories, and how fated it would be that the stranger would end up on her doorstep of all the places he could have.

Riku notices first, humming a tone when he spots them around the corner to the alley, his wonder of why it was taking so long disappearing when he sees how slowly ‘Xemnas’ is walking. Bless Kairi’s patience, he’d only gotten slower as they went on, and while he refused to sit down to take a break, he might perhaps be internally still an old man. Holly rises when she notices shortly after Riku does, not waiting for them to get to her when she can rather come to them.

“You! You lied to me,” but it’s hard to scold when he gives her, accidentally, puppy eyes. Not to mention, “Ourgh- you’re all sunburnt!”

“I fell asleep in the ocean,” he rumbles, and Holly moves to take Kairi’s spot at his side, the younger girl giggling quietly.

“You FELL ASLEEP in the OCEAN,” oh nevermind, we’re back to scolding, “That how you drown!”

“Yes, but I didn’t,” she reaches way to up poke at his nose, and he squints in the mildest annoyance. The hat did not completely save him and his shoulders are just burnt to hell. She had put some sunblock on him, but apparently not enough, not for hours of the ocean washing it off. They slowly make their way to the house where Riku waits- Kairi slinks up to him to have a staring contest, a silent conversation occurring between them. Similarly to when he spotted Kairi earlier, the stranger freezes when he spots Riku, but unfortunately his heart is actually _quite_ familiar with the young man, and when his mind backfires about it, his body freezes, and he staaaaares. Holly stops up as well when he refuses to be led further, peeping and looking back up at him.

“… That’s a new one," she muses out loud, having seen the stranger 'pause' often, but not usually with just a discontented look on his face.

Yes, yes it is. He’s not sure what this feeling is, but it is _deeply_ uncomfortable, perhaps one on the most disgusting emotions he’s been having to face as of late. There’s an internal conversation that occurs in silence for everyone else; Riku tilts his head over curiously, raising an eyebrow as the stranger stares in vacancy- and then after that moment of awkwardness, the vacant expression warps to distaste, face scrunching uncomfortably while a tongue rakes over his teeth; his shoulders hike up to ears as this visual discomfort spreads across his body, ending in a full body shake off, like a dog. Riku and Kairi look between each other with such befuddled confusion at the outburst, they’re momentarily not even sure it IS him anymore- but he is, apparently, getting used to having emotions. Maybe he doesn’t know what to do with them; it did seem like a very instinctual response. Settled again, he yawns, eyes drifting to Holly as he resumes to normal, as if nothing strange had occurred. “Apologies. I am familiar with Riku, and I can not say I was very kind to him.”

"That's an understatement," Riku adds under his breath.

She blinks, looking between them for a moment, “He- yeah, he did sort of imply that earlier.”

“And how do you three know each other," he looks between all three- he knows how Kairi and Riku know one another, but Holly...? She was a friendly mother figure around town, he knows at least.

Riku reorients into the situation after that weirdness, “Ah- ohh… uhm,” a hand raises to rub the back of his neck, gaze drifting. “This is… Sora’s mother.”

Eyes widen as they flick back to Holly, and he FROWNS, expression twisting once more, but he manages not to completely flip out this time. Instead, “That’s.. inconvenient.”

Still rubbing his neck, “Yeah, a little awkward.”

Holly just looks confused. “… So you… knew Sora?” She speaks timidly, wringing her hands together. “You know, I’m not actually completely surprised.” A confused hum from the stranger, head tilting down to her curiously. “There’s a mark on your back- one time when Sora was home a year or so ago, he told me about vicious monsters that wore that symbol- or one like it. And that if I ever saw one, that I should run away as fast as I could.”

“…but you didn’t.” Looking around, he peers for his back, but it’s clothed and whatever mark this is, he wouldn’t be able to see anyways. In this strange position, a tiny yawn escapes him, eyes shuttering for a moment before he focuses again.

“No sir, I did not,” planting her hands on her hips, lips purse and a sigh escapes her nose. “Who wants to go sit inside instead of having this awkward conversation out on my porch.”

The stranger rumbles, “I would truly enjoy being sitting down instead of standing,” Riku and Kairi have no complaints to this as well. ‘Xemnas’ has proved so far he’s not interested in any kind of fight.

Unfortunately, any conversation to be held is cut short when he plops down onto the couch, and out of a seemingly nowhere, immediately becomes unconscious. Holly is less surprised- but Riku squeaks, reaching out to catch him by the arm before he can manage to slip off the side of the couch. “Oh yeah, there he goes.” Casually, she comes over to push him up at the shoulders, letting him flop back into the cushions instead of flopping forwards.

“W- what do you mean there he goes…?!” Riku was going to be sitting on the couch beside him a seat over to avoid the awkward, but now he’s up beside him, looking over him with concern. Kairi joins in front of them, still standing but leaning down to stare.

“Now, he’s only been here two days, but yeah. Just like that,” she snaps her fingers, “One minute he’s up and fine, next moment he’s unconscious. So far, if I catch him yawning, it’s time to sit down.”

A nervous exhaled laugh, Riku gives him a sympathetic look. “That’s…weird….”

“Well- you knew him before the… this,” she waves a vague hand, “You’ll know the weird more than me.”

Kairi speaks, “I think that’s kinda weird for most anyone really…” Crouching down, she reaches over and presses a hand to his chest once more, humming and… feeling. “Maybe something _is_ wrong with his heart. I know it’s there, but…” In response to this, his duotone gaze flicks scarcely open, barely drifting into consciousness to peer down at her. She can only frown back up.

Riku leans back down into the couch, nose wrinkling in distaste as he pulls his gummi phone from his pocket. Kairi nearly protests, but, “I think this is about time where this is out of our hands. If there’s something wrong with his heart, we can’t just let him stay here. If he falls apart again, it’s bad news.”

Quietly from the side, Holly mumbles, “… falls apart?”

Riku sighs, “I’m sorry, Holly. It’s really… complicated… And Sora wasn’t really supposed to tell you anything. Something about the sanctity of the worlds...” Rubbing his face, he opts to shoot a few messages instead of trying to call anyone to talk about an issue like this.

“Well- I already know, so you should do a poor old woman a favor and just tell me. I’ve been trying to be quiet and happy ever since you two came home but Sora did not- but…”

Both of them sink to that, Riku literally into his seat and Kairi plopping to the floor on her knees, resting her arms on the stranger’s legs to try to feel out his heart. Neither responds however, unable to figure out the words- when he mumbles, barely audible from his half-awake state, “He’s just lost, probably.”

“Huh? He’s what,” Holly leans down at him as well, trying to hear him through his warbling.

Swallowing roughly, “He’s just lost. He was, connected everywhere…” a loose gesturing with his hand, “And he sunk too deep into it all. If you think for him, he will.. come… like a light, in the darkness… or maybe a darkness in the light….” He muses a thought, apparently, raising an eyebrow to his own ideas. "Piece by piece...."

Kairi exhales a single laugh, “Oh, now _that_ sounds more like you.”

“What, not making any sense?” Holly laughs, nervously.

“Yeah, him and all his friends really liked doing that.”

“I’m sorry, Holly. It’s really, it’s really all my fault," the stranger mumbles, his barest gaze behind half-lidded eyes wandering to her instead.

Kairi stiffens to that, but Holly replies confused, “Huh, what’s all your fault?”

“That’s he’s gone. I didn’t mean it… I mean… I did mean it, but I didn’t.”

A moment of very confused, incredulous blinking, “Wow, you were sure right about that. What did you mean to do.”

“I meant to destroy him. We meant to destroy everyone.”

Riku reaches over to that, gently placing the back of his palm to his mouth, “Shh,” but Holly reaches to remove it,

“No, wait- I want to hear what he has to say.”

The two teens look sheepish, but Riku removes his hand and lets the extremely sleepy man warble. “Mnn.. It didn’t work, though…. Perhaps it’s fate… Your son, Sora. An incredibly strong heart- stronger than anyone could have ever dreamt of estimating. He did this by connecting to everyone, drawing and spreading himself in everywhere, using powers he was gifted with improperly to save everyone he could at any moment. I might have attempted something similar- but I was too weak. Only steeping myself in endless darkness. It clouded our judgment so utterly, so abysmally…”

“… do you regret it?” Riku mumbles, still typing into his phone.

“…. Yes,” barely over his breath, “Not only because it failed…. But because it never should have succeeded. And now I’m just sad, and lonely. It did nothing but hurt, when all I was trying to do was.. stop that.”

Riku can’t lie- he has a soft spot for Ansem. In the same way you might have a soft spot for your alcoholic father who's trying to get his life back on track. The fact that now that he’s reclaimed his heart from the darkness, much akin to Riku had when Ansem had converted him so long ago at this point. Everyone has a chance to improve. Setting down his phone, he buries his hands in his face, sighing heavily. Muffled through his palms, “Isa and Axel are nearby, the King had them come in when I called him. They’re going to come to pick you up tomorrow morning and take you to see Ienzo in Radiant Garden.” And, possibly, Ansem the Wise… but he isn’t going to mention that part. He’s actually not even sure Ienzo will let the real Ansem know this one was coming…

He’s not sure he likes that idea, so,  “... I’m not sure I like that idea.”

“If your heart is damaged, you need to see someone who might be able to do something about it. I’m not interested in watching you slowly die- or fall back into darkness.”

“…Aww,” a rumbling, low laugh that shakes his shoulders.

The effort earns him with a rough shove from the side, “Don’t make me change my mind.”

… A head tilts, humming, “Why would Isa be nearby? Where does he… live, now…” It’s weird to call him ‘Isa’. He’d prefer Saix.

“In Twilight Town with Axel, Roxas, Xion, and Namine.”

“…ohh….” He sounds a lot more saddened by that then they were expecting.

“Uh….yeah… And they were nearby because I called the King yesterday after, I assume it was you, fell from the sky.”

“… That did happen. Was it that noticeable?”

Kairi snrks from her spot on the ground, “It was like some weird, reverse shooting star. A trail of black.”

He nods, well alright that’s reasonable. “I apologize for concerning you. I wouldn’t have fallen here if the universe had given me any choice in the matter, but it, unfortunately, did not.”

“That is really curious,” Kairi hums, “Were you from here? When you were.. Xehanort?”

“This is going to sound strange. But I don’t think that I, we, were ever ‘Xehanort’. Or if we are, it’s a sliver.”

Holly is sitting on the arm of the couch, being so very fucking confused. “You are made of… multiple people?”

“Several people that were at one point one man. In our separate memories, however, have added edges to the puzzle pieces, in a way that they do not fit together seamlessly anymore.”

“Oh man….” She rubs her chin, “You really are messed up.”

“To be completely fair. I am quite deserving of this.”

Riku protests to that, “No, I don’t think you are.”

Before he can respond, Holly interrupts, “You always perk up really fast once you get to sit down for a while, you know.” It’s true- though he’s laying very prone on the couch, his eyes are open, and he’s speaking… mostly, coherently.

“I have some theories about that, but I’m afraid the answer may behind the wall of a scientist who actually has the equipment to work with. If you think my heart is damaged,” he shifts Kairi’s weight still leaned over his legs, “It is perhaps likely my body is as well. Or- unfitting pieces,” a shrug. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it here.”

“… No more ocean for you,” and she swats him, before standing up to shuffle into the kitchen.

A moment of silence, and the Kairi speaks, “You wonder if it’s kinda like Roxas, then?”

He raises a brow, “If.. what, is like Roxas?”

“He made his own heart out of memories, right? Did ‘Xemnas’ and ‘Ansem’ maybe make too many memories? And Xehanort’s never came back, it floated into the light-“

“Excuse me, what.” Oh, yes, please tell us where our original went.

“Oh yeah, you were uh… destroyed, for that, hmn. Xehanort lost to Sora, realized he was being a bit of an ass, and uh… floated into Kingdom Hearts with a different guy…umm … I wasn’t there either so I don’t remember who…” She squints, rubbing her cheek in thought.

Riku snrks, mumbles, “’bit’ of an ass… The story's accurate, though.”

The stranger makes a confused face, eyebrows furrowing, “That’s… not… how I expected that was going to go.” He stops to think about it. Maybe it was?

Riku speaks, “Did you know what he was doing.”

“Using Kingdom Hearts to purge the universe.”

He snrks, “Ah, well. Yes. In the end, Sora convinced him it was not his choice to make, and he managed to agree, and some things I still don’t fully understand occurred. You know, speaking of things I don’t understand- shouldn't you two be Xehanort? I know there were some replica related shenanigans, but I'm having trouble wrapping my head around which heart went where- and whether Xemnas had a heart at all.”

He thinks about it for a long moment, squinting. “Timeline splitting. In that, however, we were supposed to return to our own times. Apparently, that did not occur. Perhaps the split destroyed what we left behind, stranding us here. Perhaps this is a converted timeline. There were many variables we didn’t consider- because we didn’t care. If there was one universe where we won, then none other mattered."

“… Makes sense. I mean, as much as anything with you makes sense.”

Shaking his head out, the stranger gives out a mighty yawn, and knowing Holly’s warning earlier, they’re aware that means he’s tapping out of energy once again. “Alright man,” Riku rises to a stand, “Sleep, and then tomorrow you’ll be going off with Isa and Axel.”

He nods, sleepily, eyes watching as Kairi rises from his knees, still a friendly look on her face. “When you get better, if you want, you can always come back here. Apparently, you belong here, even if you don’t remember why.”

“..I’ll keep that in mind.”


	3. Chapter 3

There’s a quiet conversation that occurs as Riku and Kairi get Holly entirely up to speed, but he’s way, way too fucked to hear. He regrets sleeping on the couch- Holly and Riku attempt to get him moved to a real bed before Riku went home for the night, but the stranger is heavy, and there would’ve had to have been some uncomfortable dragging, so they opted to leave him and face the back pain tomorrow.

He isn’t awake by the time the sun rises, and he isn’t awake by the time a rightfully anxious Isa shows up at her doorstep with Axel to retrieve him. Holly shrugs, apologetic, “Sorry, I tried to get him up earlier but he wouldn’t budge, not even an eye flutter.”

Isa hums, “Between me and Axel, we can carry him out if we have to.” A very formal sounding man, Isa reminds the older woman much of her stranger. Then again, Riku implied last night in their later conversation that they were… ‘friends’? Maybe? People who stood each others presence for some mutual benefit?

The redhead behind him seems a lot more brash, “If he doesn’t _care_ to walk, we can just drag him- oof,” Kairi, however, does not take his shit, elbowing him in the side. Her and Riku are there to hand him off, in case he was going to ‘change his mind’- though Riku is finding himself more distant than not. Major parts of him would rather keep 'Xemnas' here where he can keep an eye on him.

“Play nice!” Kairi chastizes him.

Sticking out his tongue, “And why should I.”

“I played nice for _you_ ,” A waggling finger, right in his face.

Raising defensive hands, “Ok, ok! Playing nice…”

Isa thinks he’s prepared to see Xemnas after a night’s flight over, and he’s a level headed man- but actually taking a step into the living room and seeing him, half dead and laying there. It’s uncomfortable. “Please, _please_ don’t make me have to carry you home. You’re bigger then I remember,” he mumbles at the end, rubbing his face with a palm. About the same height as Isa, he absolutely _could_ carry him, but.

Like a light that flicks on in his head, when the stranger hears the familiar voice, his body twitches into consciousness; Axel jumps at the sudden movement from an apparent corpse he was standing next to.

“Aww, he remembers you,” Axel continues not to make it unknown he’s not happy about this.

“Shh,” walking over, Isa places a hand on his bare back(Holly had at least done him the favour of getting him out of the wet blouse he was in before letting him sleep), “Alright, get up you.”

A pained noise as he attempts and fails a few times to get his apparent engine started, but eventually, eyes flick open, and on wobbly arms he rises, tilting a head over to level his duo-toned gaze on the two before him. Momentary confusion to where and when he is, but his mind settles into the current time as the conversation between him and Riku revive in his memory. Rumbling. “Ah, hello.” He struggles to stand, pushing away Isa’s hand when it’s offered, but his continued stumbling makes the assistance required.

“Wow, you really are messed up, aren’tcha,” Axel quips, actually managing to have some sympathy in his tone, but he doesn’t move in to physically assist- in the smaller living room, he’d be more getting in Isa’s way.

“Yes, it is unfortunate,” he rumbles, settling onto his heels. Ahhh, that pain he’s become familiar with. Last night it had all but subsided, but today it seems to be straining him once more. If only he could discern the reason and cull it from his mind, but alas. He’s staring at the floor instead of staring at the other two and takes longer than appreciated to notice Axel’s attempting to give him a shirt. He misses a few times when he reaches to grab it, and,

“I think I’m going to need to fly the ship closer…” Isa hums, gently grasping his wrist to direct it to where it’s attempting to grab.

“This is a protected world, you can’t. He’s going to have to walk,” but Axel sounds unsure, and they both watch in stunned silence as he fails to get a shirt over his head, getting stuck halfway down with audible grumbling.

“Oh you two are useless!” Here comes mother mode, standing behind them and watching this occur, until they just casually let this injured man struggle to become inside of a shirt. Pushing them aside, in two seconds she pulls the fabric down, and he just stands there, looking wasted. Frowning up at him, “Maybe you should wait a day-“

“No,” he interrupts, reaching down to pat her shoulder ‘comfortingly’, “It might only get worse. This is a more logical choice,” but holy shit he does not feel like walking any measure of distance. However, there is a creeping part of his mind that demands him to act like the ‘boss’ he once was in front of his two previous underlings, much like he had to the nobodies in the garbage yesterday. Straightening his back, he apparently becomes sturdy now- Isa and Axel take that as a benefit, but Holly knows better, squinting up at him with hostile concern.

It’s apparently out of her hands now, however, and she passes him off to these other two, grasping his hands for one last squeeze before they head off down the road, “You be good, ok? And Kairi is right- you can come back if you want, when you get better. The universe says you belong here, apparently.”

Isa and Axel look very confused by this woman’s apparent affection to a man they know as a heartless, soulless psychopath, but they aren’t going to press it. They need her to be convinced that ‘Xemnas’ coming home with them is a safe choice. And it is!.. probably. They’re pretty sure no one will attempt to murder him. Though.. it appears as if it would be very easy.

“I will. I’ll see if I can’t help find Sora too, alright?” Excuse me what was that. Axel shoots a look to Kairi, who still lingers nearby with Riku, but she just shrugs casually. It’s none of your business. Riku also gives her an eyeing- but he’s trying to stay out of the situation, because he’s afraid some errant affection might be swaying his opinion. He wants to trust them, but it's hard.

“Well, if I’m to count your mumbling last night, apparently I just have to think about him, and he’ll come home.”

“That is true. But there’s nothing saying I can’t expedite the process,” another firm shoulder patting for her, because that’s all he knows, and she knows that’s all he knows. She lets him leave, still sad for her stranger but knowing that this is probably for the best. And who knows. Maybe he will figure out a way to help her apparently wayward child.

Axel and Isa keep a few paces ahead of him, at first at least. The further they go, the further he falls behind; they’re lost in their own conversation, something about what they were doing first before this diversion, casually attempting to forget or ignore the issue that they’re now ‘burdened’ with. They mention having to meet up with Xion and Roxas waiting for them at Radiant Garden. It’s hot now, the sun is up, and the spare clothes he was given are, of course, black. He should’ve stolen that hat he had on yesterday, or the sunglasses, but he’d left everything behind, and now the sun is in his sensitive eyes and continuing to burn his skin from his adventures. _Ohhh,_ they do not notice how far behind he is now, a tiny argument breaking out between them over something unrelated and trivial- when did they become such close friends? They were friends before they ‘died’, but grew quite apart during their time in the organization… Saix used to be _his_ ‘friend’, not Axel’s… well, ok, ‘friend’ is definitely pushing it, but even at the end, Saix was by his side. A weird loyalty born from his situation- between Saix and Xigbar, despite their quirks, ‘Xemnas’ might have even considered himself… fond of. And now he’s ignoring him, for a blistering traitor. It doesn’t even matter that the task at hand no longer exists, he’s being ignored, _forgotten_ \- a numbing pain bleeds through his chest, stopping him in his tracks. Wheezing uncomfortably in the sun, unable to follow, and subconsciously he begs, ‘I require assistance.’

Who shows up is not who he was hoping would, but in a flurry of thorns and void, his 5 familiar friends appear; three dusks and two samurai. The samurai immediately push up under his arms, keeping him afloat, but they’re a bit too short, and another moment later, and a much larger blast of thorns, a Berserker appears from the nothing to support him. Oh no- not _more of them_ ; but he clings up to its offered arm like a massive blessing- and FINALLY, the two of them notice. Unfortunately, they’re also immediately hostile to the interlopers.

“What are you doing!?” Oh,  _now_ you’re over here in a heartbeat, though Isa looks a bit sheepish on how they got so far ahead. He’s nearly about to attack, his claymore summoned in hand, but then he notices that they’re not… attacking, they’re just helping ‘Xemnas’ stand. Also- the berserker, one he’s familiar with, and Isa stands uncomfortably before it, looking up to its massive self. “…oh.”

Rasping, “They’re not, they’re.. friendly, they just want to, help me,” he stammers, barely gripped to the berserker, and it opts instead to grab onto him, holding him up a bit like a kitten. Ah, much better. Well, better for his physical self, less ideal for his mental self, but right now he can’t complain.

Axel walks up now, gauging the situation non-hostile quicker than Isa had, but looking more uncomfortable still, “Whoops, you look like _shit_. Hey- if you coulda summoned them earlier, why didn’t you..?” He hums, looking up to the largest, and then the samurai to the side- but he jolts when two Assassin appear at his heels. They sniff up to his hands and at first, he attempts to avoid them- but much akin to Isa earlier, there’s a familiarity in the ‘minions’ that he used to command, and he sighs, leaning over to give one a pat on the head. Under his breath, “Ahh.. sorry, buddy.”

“I- no, I’m trying to… not, let them just.. be everywhere… They might scare people,” he rumbles, reaching up to pat his holder’s arm, “Not that it’s your fault… I also did not necessarily mean to.. call them.”

-Apologies, my liege. Shall we leave?- A samurai speaks, the one that often does, looking between the three of them. Apparently, it’s become an impromptu leader.

“…. Well, now that you’re here,” he shrugs, looking over to Isa and Axel for complaint- but they’re not interested in carrying him, and he looks like he’s not going to be doing any more walking. With that silent acceptance, the berserker picks him up under his arm, which is awkward, but he’s not complaining. He’s not sure any better way to being held. The dusks disappear, as does one samurai, but the ‘leader’ stays, and the two assassins who are very interested in hanging around Axel; he doesn’t shoo them away.

As they walk again, Isa and Axel make more effort to not to get too far ahead, looking back often, but the berserker shuffles its weight with each step, is not a slow walker. Held and vaguely comfortable, he finds himself drifting away from being conscious enough that he doesn’t recall much of the rest of the journey.

“So are you guys just… hanging out, now?” Axel looks down to one of the assassins, and it shrugs. The other opts to fly above them, drifting around in what might be presumed some kind of feigned ‘happiness’. It had missed its master.

Looking back to ‘his’ berserker, Isa hums, “You remain loyal to Xemnas?”

The samurai ‘speaks’, -Not Xemnas. He is real now. New. He pledges allegiance to us.- The berserker nods.

“He does, hmn?” Isa sighs, “You’re not obligated to align to _any_ of us anymore.”

It nods, -We know. But, alas, my old masters; what else would we do? We lack motivation, guidance. Aim. Hungry and lost, rejected by all. We just want… purpose.-

Both of them frown to that. Axel speaks, “Sorry, we didn’t know.”

-We would have come sooner, but we were afraid… as much as we become afraid.-

“That’s pretty fair- Isa looked like he was just about ready to chop you in half.”

“I nearly did, but I saw you weren’t posturing to defend yourself.”

The berserker speaks, a deep rumbling baritone in their minds, -I would sacrifice myself to make it known the intent of my kin.-

“I know you would,” Isa sighs, “I suppose I’m glad I didn’t. You know, it had been mentioned earlier- the Heartless still attack the worlds, but the nobodies.. They all just disappeared.”

The samurai speaks again, -We remain, aimless in the World that Never Was.-

“… Isn’t it falling apart?” Isa questions. He’d been there a few times since Sora had fought Xemnas there and the two of them had turned it into a wreck- it was _not_ doing well. It wasn’t exactly real, so it isn’t surprising that it was falling to disarray when Xemnas' 'nothingness' power no longer fueled into it.

-Yes. This new friend spoke that he would do what he could to assist us, and that we were allowed to roam if we could stay in secret, or at least remain non-combative. Is this no longer ideal?-

“It’s….” Isa rubs his jaw, “It’s complicated. We’re going to have to have some conversations with some people, but we can probably make this work.”

The floaty assassin lands on Axel’s shoulders, and he peers up at it in amusement, not like it’s heavy. “I can see the benefit of this. We’re looking for numbers to help fight heartless… If you guys are even interested in fighting anymore.”

The assassin perched on him speaks, a rasping hushed tone, singsong and humoured, -It’s _hard_ to say whether we’re interested in much of _anything_.-

He laughs, “True that.”

Their Gummi ship appears from its hidden spot in ‘orbit’ behind a rocky outcrop- it’s a bit awkward, but the berserker manages to get the unconscious man inside; Isa’s a bit more concerned now that, even as he’s being manhandled around, he doesn’t seem interested in waking up more than the barest of his eyes open, and the occasional stiffening of his legs under him enough he can be dragged. Well, they can buckle him into a chair and that works, as long as they don’t have too much trouble flying home…

When Isa mentions the issue of flying home unimpeded, their ship is suddenly joined by two others- Nobody ships; spherical, bending little crafts that float to either side; the rest of their entourage disappears, presumably inside, but the samurai remains for a moment, -We will assist you, if you wish it.-

“… I don’t see why not,” Axel shrugs, boarding their ship, but Isa is less sure.

“Stay out of trouble. I stand by what I said- you don’t _need_ to help us, but if you want to, I just want you to do it safely.” It nods and disappears into the ships alongside its comrades.

The trip was a bit tricky, but it was significantly easier with their little armed escort. Two ships landed alongside them on the islands, but many more join it as they fly through space, and it takes significantly less long than normal, still a day or so, but better than nothing.

Axel reclines into his chair as Isa drives, tilting back to peer at the fairly unconscious cargo. “Are we sure it’s such a great idea to take him back to Radiant Garden?”

“And where else do you suggest.”

“…ahh… could just, _eject him into space_ ,” hands behind his head, Axel speaks nearly directly to him, but the prone man does not respond. His eyes are slightly open, but vacant, dull, staring at the floor.

“ _No_ , Axel," Isa scolds him, "We’re going to take him back to Radiant Garden, and we’re going to try to keep him alive. He is, apparently, _not Xehanort._ ”

“I mean, he looks like Xehanort… er.. the one from Ansem’s lab. Not the.. old, bald one.”

“He looks like Xemnas. It’s not exactly what they were expecting.”

“..ssssort of. Whatcha think, then? Kairi mentioned he might be like Roxas- which, I don’t really want to agree with.”

“If it’s based on memories… maybe?”

“Haaa… neither of us are the science guy. All that training, wasted."

“Maybe wasted on _you_. But this is out of my expertise, and that’s why he’s going to the laboratory.”

Axel snrks, “And then _he_ gets to be the science experiment, huh.”

“Perhaps. I can’t say I _wish_ that happens, though.”

“Heh? Why not. I feel like it’s his turn.”

“I’m personally not interested in wishing that fate on anyone in particular. They implied he was acting very... friendly. And perhaps in Xehanort’s fall, this new person created can be someone we don’t hate.”

Sneering, “And why do you care so much?”

A moment of silence, a sigh, “You well know me and Xemnas were.. well, suppose the most ‘friends’ a nobody like us could be.”

“Wha..?! You and Xemnas," Axel sounds incredulous, leaning out of his seat.

“ _Yes._ ” It hits a sharper note in his tone, Isa hissing back at him, “You were more interested in _other_ people at the time. I found myself around Xemnas often in the meantime. Perhaps, more for business- but in the absence of anything else, I’d call it very loose… friendship. Some strange, situational comradery. I can’t say I think I was fond of him, or he was fond of me…but…” An uncommitted shrugging. He actually _is_ feeling motes of fondness, or something like it. Thanks, heart, for those complicated emotions.

Axel shifts back into his chair uncomfortably, grumbling about the situation he’s accidentally brought up himself. “Well…. Alright, I’ll cut him a break then. For your sake. I guess like, yeah, we don’t need more enemies…” Isa exhales a laugh, amused by how quickly Axel backs down. He remembers a time Lea would rather bicker endlessly to stand his ground. At least he’s grown up a bit.

As they close in on Radiant Garden, the Nobody ships quickly disappear- they recall the defense matrix that the world has, an explanation to their timid response to remain. Alternatively, the defense means most heartless do not linger here either. Landing is a cinch, though it’s a bit far away from the laboratory; they look around to see if this is going to be tricky again- but he’s awake!... mostly. He looks extremely inconvenienced to be here. Too familiar with these surroundings, and what they mean to his future.

What is this feeling in his chest? Heavy, draining, a numbing pain that spreads to every limb of his being. It doesn’t stop him from standing when he’s asked to- but he can’t find himself to speak anything, or even stand up straight. The other two question his ‘sudden’ lack of manners or speech but puts it up to him being tired and grumpy. The sooner they can get him ‘home’, and into more equipped hands, the better. Besides- he can look as hostile as he wants, but in these states, was he even able to fight back?

Unfortunately, the more he recognizes where he is, the heavier his feet become, the more numb his limbs feel, the more weight presses down in his chest. More unfortunate, this time his ‘friends’ cannot assist him, unable to cross the barrier into Radiant Garden without damage, so he is on his own in his inability to comprehend his emotional distress. He is vaguely aware that this _is_ some kind of emotional turmoil, but he doesn’t know why, or what he can do about it, except power through. Isa and Axel keep a better eye on him still, but after only a short walk, he stops altogether, legs crossing and staring down at his feet- but he isn’t stumbling, he isn’t looking outwardly ‘tired’.

“….Xemnas….?” Isa questions, turning around to face him, and _oohh_ he does not like that. Flexing his fingers into fists and out again, an internal conversation rumbling through his core.

What are you mad about. What are _YOU_ mad about- I’m not _mad_ , yes you are. This isn’t exactly mad- I know mad, this is something else. How can he walk here so comfortably, after what we’ve done- _how do we walk here after what we’ve done._ What are they going to think of us once we’re there- how could they even want to help us. Stop freaking out- YOU'RE freaking out, I’m just standing here- you can’t just blame me for this, this is what you wanted. You can’t have the good without the bad- well then how come all I ever feel is _bad._

His thoughts are cut short when Isa leans in under his nose, placing a hand on his chest- and he makes an instinctive decision that is probably the worst of all the selections he could have made- “Do not _TOUCH_ me-“ the man was a walking corpse five minutes ago, so nothing prepares Isa for the shove he receives, flinging him across the street and vacating the air from his chest. He catches himself on his legs out of instinct- Axel is surprised enough he doesn’t act quickly, and Isa is on ‘Xemnas’ again before the other can manage to summon his keyblade. It’s fortunate, though, because Isa barks out, “STOP- both of you, stop-!” but he slams back into the other man, who froths unimpeded rage in his face. Isa notices, however, no weapons are drawn, and he hopes that if he doesn’t pull out his claymore, this will end less violently than it could. He isn’t interested in putting up zero fight, however- and where the fuck did this energy come from- Isa knows how strong Xemnas was, but he doesn’t sit down to his own strength, please do not make me have to pull out my big guns. Nobody here likes that- including himself.

As instructed, Axel remains in the back, but he doesn’t hide his concern, and does not put away his keyblade. He isn’t stupid either- he watches the two of them exchange blows, but there’s no lasers, no Heartless or Nobodies, just two people having a violent fist fight- a violent fist fight that cracks the stonework beneath them, blows the dust off the nearby windowsills, and garners a mild crowd, until they realize they’re not interested in getting any of that. If Axel was completely coherent, he would’ve called for help, but he’s too occupied making sure that if Isa loses this fight, he will be able to take over and turn ‘Xemnas’ into dust.

Face to face, only around 3 minutes into this fight, “Would you STOP-“

 _“Get off me..!”_ Rumbling deep from his chest, his voice croaks in a dual toned, separate way- and Isa swears he watches his form literally splitting at the seam of his center. His mind is like fire, vision whited out from red hot rage that he has no concept of containing. No literally, _stop_ , he attempts to tell himself, but something in the communication from his heart to his body is not doing its job.

“Fall- or I will _make you fall_ , you are _splitting apart_ ,” Isa barks back at him, rounding him to grab an arm and fling him violently into the floor- but he catches himself, rough on his legs, ramming forward to headbutt into Isa’s chest, shooting him across the roadway once again- this time slamming into a wall with a grunt of pain.

Why am I fighting Isa. I _like_ him- _wait we like him?_ He’s obviously concerned. _I don’t know- you just wanted to fight something apparently._ You’re mad at something that isn’t physical. _I’m just giving you what you feel-_ you’re the one who’s doing _this_ with it. Grasping his head, both of them see it now, Isa as he lands and stumbles, Axel and he decides he’s no longer interested in waiting- he splits apart, screaming in pain as his body makes a violent attempt to upheave itself from its heart. No, you stop that! I don’t know what to do with you- if you don’t want this, then I can just leave- but it doesn't just, stop.

Now, Axel’s only _seen_ people do things like this, and only sort of understands the concept of using his keyblade on a heart, but his instinct says it’s a thing he’s capable of; pointing his blade forwards, a ray of pure light flares from its tip, shooting through the chest it’s aimed towards across the alley. It’s not… comfortable, but it’s not worse than the splitting that was occurring beforehand, so his screaming stops, and he stares down at his apparently perforated self. Burning out something from his heart, the internal turmoil clicks to a stop, until he’s one again, and then it is nothing. A familiar, sad silence. The light fades, and the two of them stand there, unaware of what they’ve done other than the fact it did something to stop the fight. His emotions fizzle to near nothingness in his mind.

He’s about to remark about it when a flurry of claymore rage flattens him into the pavement. “ISA, NO-“ Owwww, he’d had no time to prepare to take that heat, so he just… takes it, slamming into the ground and immediately becoming unconscious. Thankfully, Axel grabs the berserking Isa before he manages to get in a second swing, and even more thankful, he's pulled away from his rage enough he doesn’t immediately turn on Axel instead. Drooling, he drops his weapon, shaking out his head and backing up as he attempts to regain himself- but it’s not easy, it’s never been easy since his hearts connection. However, he’d watched Axel rush forward and was not about to accept the casualty of that. Now that he is apparently the victor, however, he looks to the body beneath him, letting himself be pulled backward and away from his opponent to collect his thoughts. Between Axel’s only interest in making sure Isa is ok, and Isa being filled with rage, they vacate themselves from the situation to gather themselves, leaving the body behind. He’s not going anywhere- he just got trashed, and possibly sealed. Axel swears- it only takes around 10 minutes to get Isa settled and calm again, sitting him down on a nearby chair where the aforementioned crowd lingered to assist them, but he returns and, of course, the body is gone. Isa is in no states to inform people of a loose psychopath, so Axel, unfortunately, has to make the call. Nobody is happy. This was a bad idea, wasn’t it. The defense system scans for dark interlopers- but nothing shows up on the scanners. Whatever 'Xemnas' is being, apparently, it isn’t darkness.

After tucking Isa somewhere comfortable to chill, Axel regroups with Xion and Roxas who had been waiting for them to come back.

“I can’t believe you walked away from him. Do you know how many times that man has gotten up again at this point,” Roxas teases, chewing on the leftover popsicle stick he’d been enjoying with Xion but five minutes ago. She sits with her chin in her palms, trying to stifle down a feared response. She is.. not a fan of Xemnas…

“Don’t rub it in! Dilan and Aeleus are already out looking, but-“

“Yeah yeah, we’ll start looking-“

“Are we gonna… split up?” Xion perks in, frowning.

“I mean, it would work better,” Axel hums, leaning over to pat her shoulder, “covering more ground, but… You could kick his ass, Xion. The only reason he got the better of Isa was because it was a surprise- and Isa was pulling his punches.”

“You want me and you to go together, Xion?” Roxas tilts his head over to her, he doesn’t mind keeping company,

“Oh- no, Axel is right, covering more ground…” Pushing up from her seat, she stretches a moment to shake off her nerves.

“I’m sure between your strength and Isa pre tenderizing him, there’s nothing to worry about, we just want to root him out of any hiding places. If he isn’t using the darkness, then he can’t use a dark corridor to escape. He’s stuck here, we just got to figure out… where,” Axel nods to himself, and with their phones in hand to call the moment they’re able, they’re not too worried. Maybe a little worried. Axel still isn’t sure what he did with his keyblade to Xemnas and has so far neglected to tell anyone. Hopefully the body wasn’t gone because he was… destroyed.

Assuming he’s going further away from the lab, everyone else chooses a path that borders the far edges of the city- but Xion opts to remain close. Just a 'weird' instinct, but also because if they’re right, it means it’s the least likely place to find him. She can fight him, and she will if she has to- she just really doesn’t want to. As fate has it, however, as she hops over a rooftop and into a back alley, she stops in her tracks when he’s just… standing there. Alright, standing isn’t quite right, he’s leaned heavily onto the nearby wall, attempting to collect himself- and she POINTS, violently, barking an ‘ahha!’ like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He stares back at her outburst, confused, at first because he’s having trouble remembering, then,

 “… Oh. Xion. Hello.” His voice is deep and rumbling, looking and sounding much akin to the Xemnas she knows; but one eye is dark while the other remains that foreboding amber. Alright, Xemnas. Be cool. You are a Normal Man. “… How are you.”

“… How am I!” Incredulous, she is having trouble getting any closer to him, but unlike Axel, does remember to grab her phone.

“Yes.”

“… I’m... good.” Stalling, she nods to herself, “I hear _you_ got in a fight.”

“Would you believe me if I told you it was an accident?” He sounds very tired, winded. Slowly, he approaches, trying his damnest to look noncombative, but she doesn’t appear to be taking it. There’s a keyblade in her hands now. Inconvenient, and he stops, resting hands on his thighs.

“…. How the tables turn, huh.”

“So it seems. Are we just going to wait here?”

“Why are you so close to the lab?”

“Because I was going there.”

“…why?”

“I need things that are inside of it.”

“Like what.”

“Equipment.”

Squinting, “Elaborate?”

He yawns, interrupting his train of thought so badly he stumbles, barely able to keep himself upright. When he looks up at her again, he blinks in confusion. “…ah….” What were they talking about. What was he doing- the LAB, you need to go to the lab. “… Are you in my way?”

Raising an eyebrow, “Are you going to the laboratory?”

“Yes.”

“Then no, no I am not. Come on,” her weapon remains, and she walks off towards. She’s not prepared for how slow he walks- but since the rest of them went far off and away, it doesn’t seem like anyone will be able to catch up to them to help him waddle wherever they’re going. “Maybe if you hadn’t started a fight, you wouldn’t be so hurt.”

“I told you, it was an accident,” grumbling, “And I was quite a bit like this before I made that mistake.” When’s the last time we saw Xion, huh… Ah, yes. The shards of darkness. She so barely made the cut for that. How did that even work. Suppose it was the Xehanort we forced into her replica body. That probably sucked. “I’m sorry.” It comes out of his mouth before he can stop himself. 

Looking back at him, “Don’t be sorry to me, be sorry to Isa. He’s sleeping off a rage, and the casual beating you decided to give him.”

“… no, not that,” but he has trouble finding the words to clarify himself.

Confused, and wearing that expression, she doesn’t press the matter. He’s acting so… weird. Unlike anything she’d ever known of him. It’s just plain weird to see him sad, broken and pitiful. “.. I mean, we can sit and wait for Dilan to show up,” she mumbles, turning back to face him.

“No- I need to get to the lab….” He sighs in pain, pressing forwards, and she doesn’t back away from him now, staring up at his approach.

“You didn’t tell me why.”

“Something is wrong with my heart- I need to see what.”

“Wrong… with your heart,” eyes flick down to his chest, head tilting- and with a peep, he pushes past her, “Whoa- wait! You can’t just go-“

“Weren’t we heading there anyway,” she’s following behind him now, unable to stop him and impressed he’s still managing to press ahead in his state.

“Yeah, we were, but you look like half a minute away from collapsing...”

“Yes. Therefore, I can not wait. If I fall before I make it, then it doesn’t matter- but if I stop, I will ‘stop’.”

She… does not understand that, but doesn’t stop him, she just sends a message to tell Dilan where they’re headed. “Are you going to cause more trouble?”

“I’ll try not to, but I will likely, unintentionally. I need to do this, and they may not be interested in letting me toy with their technology.”

“Yeah?”

“Last time they were human, and I did science, it ended…poorly.”

“Oh, huh… I think I heard about that,” squinting, she rubs her jaw. Due to well, her own existence, she’s intimately aware of Xemnas’ relationship with ‘ethically unsound science’. “But… you’re not going to do that again…?”

“I have no intention of doing anything to anyone but myself.” Breaking out of the alley, they walk up the main entrance steps, and he swallows roughly at the familiar building. He hasn’t been here in a while, and though it’s been quite heavily renovated outside and likely inside, it wasn’t ideal to his mental state to have to be here again. That numbness sits into his chest again- but this time its easily ignored and shooed off to the side. He needs to become inside, and no wayward emotions are going to get in his way this time. Mostly- because his heart no longer seems interested in talking to him in full. He’s not apart, he knows that- because of the anxiety he feels on these steps, the apologetic he’d felt for Xion earlier- but it’s a far-off echo.

“I don’t really think you have a choice in the matter anymore, you know. And we need to wait here now- I’m not supposed to let you get inside.”

“Then you are in my way.” He turns towards her, looming.

“Auh- you said no more trouble!” She knows she can beat him, he’s weak and injured, she’s a keyblade warrior- but in the face of his shadow, she immediately balks, stumbling down a step. Old habits die hard, she remembers too freshly her fate at his hands.

“I’m not going to fight you,” but he is approaching ominously, and she freezes- and in that moment of weakness, he rushes forwards, snagging her by an arm, and flinging her down the stairs and across the walkway. A startled yelp, and it doesn’t exactly feel pleasant when she lands into the stonework beneath- but he didn’t strike her into the ground, just threw her far off.

Sliding across the sidewalk, it takes her a second to get back on her feet, but he’s already, _somehow_ , gone. “Son of a b……. AAaggrrrh,” now she’s no better than Axel, and very quickly messages an update, before rushing into the building herself- but he is nowhere to be seen. She hasn’t really been inside this place, she doesn’t know the layout- but, at the very least, Ienzo and Even remain inside to guard it. At this point in time, Ansem the Wise has been informed of the interloper they’ve accidentally loosed in his facility. It’s the first he’s heard of the young-ish Xehanort existing at all, so it’s accurate to say he is Very Unhappy, and taking the first hyperdrive back from a research mission. A few hours flight, tops. Do not like that psychopath destroy my laboratory. Again. Please.

Xemnas isn’t about to destroy anything. Or even hurt anyone. He slinks into the familiar corridors to basement levels, past ‘secret’ doors and halls until he finds what he needs- but to his inconvenience, the final door requires a handprint to a scientist who is actually employed here, and a code of Ansem’s. He can figure out the code, no problem, but a handprint….

He waits in hope someone he can work with will come nearby, leaving little trailing hints to snag any of the several he’s aware might be in here. Fate have it, though an hour or so of wait- one blonde interloper appears, flustered and frustrated. “I don’t know- there’s no way he could've gotten this far down, so I don’t know _why_ I’m looking. _I’m looking!_  "Even shrills, "Fine- _Fine,_ I will _call you back_ ,” perfect, yes, “you just, stay up there.” The phone call is over, and then he’s violently muffling over Even’s mouth to stifle the screech that escapes him at suddenly being grabbed. Xemnas is glad he is apparently still good at sneaking in the shadows- Even is less appealed by this, freezing in his grasp like a nervous cat, and slooooowly looking up over his head to meet the duo-toned other's. “Hello," he speaks down to Even, calm and expression flat.

Muffled, “..ahrm. Hrro..?” Slowly, they’re walking forwards towards the door he requires, and while Even makes a valiant attempt to stop him, Xemnas wastes the rest of his energy reserve to overpower him. He’s so close. There is no room for failure. Forcing Even’s hand forwards and onto the scanning touchpad, it takes, but then asked for a code. Unmuffled now, “Ha- you think you can get in there? I wouldn’t tell you the code, even if I knew it,” but Xemnas is already typing in numbers. First try- nope. Second, nah. Third- Even shrills again when the door lock flicks green, and opens to one of Ansem’s secret, generally un-used labs. But, Even also becomes released to that, free to go escape and tell whoever he pleases to tell- but instead stays to watch him fumble inside. “ _You_ \- you can’t just go in here and touch those-!”

“Mnn, I beg to differ,” he mumbles back, bracing his weight heavy on the console. A few more failed passwords- but he does manage to figure out his old mentor’s ways with ease.

“… How do you even know those!” Even snarks under his breath, messaging away on his phone as he enters the room to harass him from a distance. He does not trust the stumbling to mean he’s any kind of weak if he needs to be, on account of being manhandled half a minute ago, but Even stays close enough that if he absolutely needs to whack him, he will… _try_.

“What, like it’s hard,” he continues to mumble, opening up panels, schematics, scanners, logging into files and dialogues- things Even is familiar with, and ones he is really, really not. Yawning, he reaches for a nearby chair, fumbling around before he can manage to get it under his ass, sitting down with the backrest in front of him, and rolling back over to the control panel to continue looking for what he wants. Oh, it’s much easier now that he can roll around, which is handy, because he needs some things for this- kicking over panels, opening shelves and upending their contents, grabbing wires and devices and-

Ienzo appears at the door in a rush, and unlike the other man, does move in to get into Xemnas’ way. By the time he arrives, the injured man already has scanners open, diodes pressed to his skin, but he’s failing- loosely whacking at the computer panel in an attempt to get it to do what he wants- but forgetting where’s he’s at, what he’s doing- he jolts when Ienzo touches him, snarling, “Touch me again and I’ll remove the limb.” He sounds only barely coherent. He also doesn’t mean what he says at all- he stands by what he said earlier, he’s not interested in fighting them- but they only know that he had gone from mostly dead to kicking Isa’s ass in a second flat. They’re also unaware that he is currently ten times worse than he was back then, desperately clinging to consciousness as he attempts to finish his task.

Apparently unwilling to stop him under the threat of limb removal, “What are you _trying to do_ ,” Ienzo questions instead, because he’s looking at the computer- he doesn’t completely understand, but he can enough tell this isn’t .. exactly hostile? He’s trying to look up something, scan something-

Warbling hoarsely, “I just… it’s the… when it…heart….” Completely incoherent, his head falls forwards and smacks into the panel, pushing buttons, “..fffffff…..” _Aaaauuhhhhh_ , I was so fucking close. Barely lifting himself up again, his hand brushes uselessly against the keyboard- but above him, Ienzo watches, reaching forwards to look through some of the dialogues Xemnas had been going through.

Looking back to Even, who just shrugs, “I don’t.. I don’t understand what he’s trying to do. Something about his own heart- these old files here…”

Reluctantly, Even approaches to see if two minds can be greater than one, but, “It’s all heart-related business- I don’t really know- Only Ansem is going to know, beyond himself," he gestures to the half-dead man on the console, "…Though Ansem is on his way.”

Quietly, and muffled from his prone state, “Nooo…..”

“I, I’ll try to help but,” Ienzo grumbles, frustrated as he flicks through the opened panels, but it’s no use. If he messes this up, he has no idea what the consequences are for Xemnas- he can at least interpolate that whatever he was doing, it had nothing to do with anyone else. The older files are vaguely familiar- but spots of Ienzo’s past life’s memory are faded and incomprehensible. This is, unfortunately, one of those times that have been scrubbed from his mind.

He never quite passes completely out, desperate to finish what he was doing, but he can’t manage to get any headway. He can’t explain what he’s doing, he can’t do it himself, but he can’t let himself fall, so the two other scientists linger around uncomfortably, waiting for the inevitable that was their mentor showing up to yell at them.

There is no yelling when Ansem finally arrives- there isn’t even any scolding. He simply walks in, regards his sheepish underlings with a nod of his head, and immediately sets his sights on the task at hand. A firm command that immediately shakes Xemnas from his stupor, “What are you doing.” Ienzo had been messaging Ansem the news as it was coming, including the occasional image of the screens.

“Aah- uuhh..oouuhh…” He barely manages to sit upright, bleary eyes and blinking up at his screen. What was I doing. Eyes flick to Ansem- oh, hello. Ansem stares back at him for a moment and then gestures to the screen to regain his attention, and he does, looking to the menus before him. “Uuhhmm….” A shakey hand raises to slap into the screens before him, pointing out things he thinks are important, and Ansem nods, humming in vague acknowledgment.

“Ah, I see.”

“… You know what he’s trying to do…? Just like that?” Even questions, peering around him curiously alongside Even.

“I do. You wouldn’t know- because it isn’t good for your health or wellbeing. Xehanort, what makes you think you need this.”

“…heart….” He gestures a shaky hand, pushing up against the console, “..hurt.”

“Yes, I can see that,” he hums, taking up the space Xemnas has moved over for to type in commands. Glancing over the screen, Xemnas relaxes- he actually is doing what he wants. Casually, the other man pushes him and his rolling chair over to the side, a peep escaping him as he attempts not to faceplant, “Here, one of you come to help me,” Ansem gestures to the two behind him, looking between each other before quickly complying; Ienzo steps forwards to grab and pull down a mechanism that Ansem gestures towards a nearby table, and Even skitters over to grab the nearly unconscious man to make sure he does not become out of his chair. After putting in a few lines of command, Ansem corrects some of the placements of diodes Xemnas had haphazardly placed earlier, pulling his other machine forwards, “This would be easier if you were laying down and not in a chair.”

Looking up, “Ah…yes...” But he couldn’t both type on the console and work the device laying at the same time. He was hoping he would just be able to get it to reach far enough. Now, getting up on the table would be tricky.

Taking a step back, he gestures for his two students to follow. Xemnas clenches slightly when he knows what’s about to happen- he’s done this to himself before, and to others, and it’s not great. But he needs to _see_. A few more keystrokes- the lights in the room flicker with a droning hum as it starts up; it revs up exponentially until a crack of electricity buzzes through the air. He groans in pain, relaxing back down into his chair, while Ansem returns to the computer screen to see what they’ve obtained. Slowly, Xemnas joins him, scooting along on his chair until Even just, pushes him the rest of the way to see. An imprinted image of his heart, and his body, alongside significantly older imagery to balance it against. Of course, the older images show a train wreck of his heart slowly being overcome with darkness, until it is barely visible in the shadow- but this new one, somehow, manages to be more concerning.

“Is that… his heart now…?” Ienzo questions, looking over the images.

“It appears so.” Ansem does not sound pleased with what they find, and for good reason.

Even speaks over Xemnas shoulder- the tired man deflating in the wake of what he sees. “Is it… full of holes?”

“Devoured by darkness, I would presume,” the older scientist sighs. “Decaying.”

“But there isn’t any darkness, not like these other ones,” Ienzo leans in, and Ansem lets his curious student explore, at least while he’s here to make sure they all behave with the knowledge this gives them. Flicking through some of the older files, it’s obvious to see the difference. “It’s like he’s been cleansed…? Outwardly, at least. It’s hard to tell what’s going on in the inside- er, okay, the older ones do show some of the inside- that must’ve been uncomfortable, but-“

“I didn’t think I would need to press for an entire model of his heart now. As I said, it is not good for his health.”

Xemnas, task succeeded, rolls back over to see himself, folding his arms under his chin and reclining forwards, staring up at the monitor with such vacancy that Ansem isn’t sure he’s awake despite the still open eyes. He is, however, his thoughts running wildly in his mind. His heart, his strong, unending heart, worn and old and dying. A shame he managed to get this far, just for it to be stripped away from him. But, alas- it’s locked away and sleeping, and he’s so tired, the connections wear thin; while he can protect it within him, the emotions cut off, and he’s left in that familiar emptiness. He doesn’t even manage a mote of sadness to his fate. This is just life for him, now. A slow, painful decay. His eyes shutter closed, a remaining sigh to sneak from his lungs, as he drifts to sleep.

Ienzo is less convinced of his abysmal fate, however, and Ansem catches that look curious look in his eyes. “Hmn? And what do you think you see?”

Nodding, “Devoured by darkness, yes-" he points to the shattered heart imprinted on the screen, "but the darkness has abated. This fresh tissue at the edges- it’s not decaying. I think it’s repairing.”

Leaning down to look more himself, he hums his own curious tone, “So it may be.” Gaze flicks to the schematics of his body- it is also looking in fairly dire straits, and if he's looking at it right, there's perhaps a second, incredibly small startings of a new heart lingering inside as well. Even was inspecting already, his own fascination in the body, but when Ienzo mentions perhaps Xemnas' heart is not dying, he shrugs and nods in agreement. “Well, then our recommendation is rest, sleep and perhaps, _not_ fighting everyone he meets, and breaking into my secret facilities,” he looks over to him, glaring, but somehow still humoured by this. Just as he was back then- headstrong. To a fault. To an extreme, detrimental fault. Admittedly, though, some of the files Xehanort had unlocked and loaded here had been beyond Ansem’s grasp, and he’s quite content to have this secret information on hand now.

Dilan sneaks his head around the corner, “Are we all dead.”

Even chimes in, “Nope, not today!” The prior pent up anxiety escaping him, he stretches out his arms, taking steps backward and making himself towards the door and away from the situation.

“That’s good,” as Even passes Dilan in the doorway, stopped by none of them. Looking to Xemnas, asleep on the console, “I was lingering outside, waiting to hear if you need me to drag him away.”

Ansem shakes his head, no, “I’m going to keep him in here where I can keep track of his vitals. Ienzo, you might still be wrong, and if you are, I’d like to see if I can’t do anything about it.” They’re both a little confused about how willing Ansem is to help his obscenely wayward student, but they equally aren’t willing to verbally question him. So, with Dilan's help, they drag Xemnas' near-dead self to the nearby table, which is more like an examination bed. It appears he truly isn’t getting up this time now, completely limp and barely breathing- but alive.

Ansem and Ienzo spend a sleepless night setting up diagnostics and programs, working alongside Xehanort’s own ancient research, while Dilan waits outside the door as a guard for both people entering, and people attempting escape. Ienzo knows that his teacher isn’t exactly interested in letting him steep himself too far into this work, so he makes sure he isn’t being too inspective- just using it as a basis for the ‘patient’ at hand. It’s going to be a long week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you ruined a perfectly good nobody. look, it's got anxiety

His eyes open to unending darkness- he floats in it, an eerie hum hitting his ears to focus his consciousness- but this isn’t conscious, is this. He’s still asleep- a foot touches ‘ground’, and light splits out from beneath it, ash bursting from the floor to reveal a brightly lit platform; circular, each inch of dark overlay that floats off reveals a stunning picture beneath. Black and white, familiar thorns and the centerpiece, the Nobody symbol; Xemnas feels he’s been in this unconsciousness before, but can not recall when, or why. There’s nothing to see otherwise in this void, so he takes his time pacing across its surface, looking over his mind’s symbolic imagery beneath his feet. He’d nearly think it was a beautiful sight to behold that his subconscious has created for him, familiar symbols and intricate designs etched into the glass and lit up so ethereally; his entire leftover being based entirely on what he remains to be. No friends or even himself lay in the imagery of his platform, just the constant reminder he was a wayward body, purposely disconnected from its heart. Existing for the purpose of someone else, at the end of all things. Where, where is my heart, hmn? Would you show him to me?

It would, it would. His attention is caught to the side, a stairway that bleeds into existence from the encompassing darkness, and with a curious look, he walks towards it, up it; colour fills into each step, drawing away from the stark white of his own platform to an overflowing, pulsing red. This platform is far more dimly lit, but cracks at the surface, a golden light attempting to shine through. It’s hard to make out any distinct markings between that and the chains that sprawl across the floor, but he’s there, an etching of himself just barely visible, which is nice to think he feels a sense of self more than his body did. Looking up from his inspection of the floor, his 'heart' appears- and is, unfortunately, as chained and unconscious as the glassy painting beneath his feet. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing escapes his throat, only a droning in their minds, -I’m sorry.- Dull, near black eyes flick open to the voice in this emptiness, unfocused, but eventually falling upon his body at his feet. That is as far as he can manage to get, however, these burning chains that hold himself and his consciousness in place- something Axel did. Inconvenient. He didn’t ask for this- but suppose the alternative was apparently emotionally exploding.

The heart floats a far bit away from his grasp, but the body reaches, grasping onto the chains and tugging- they look much akin to red hot metal, but they do not hurt his hands. Beneath them, his heart doesn’t appear to be suffering more than their binding either, so that’s something to appreciate. What he doesn’t appreciate though, is that there appears to be no way to remove them himself. -No keyblade, no unlocking,- the heart speaks, just barely audible in this plane of non-existence. The body shrugs, and sighs. He’ll have to wake them up and fix this. -I don’t mind sleeping if it keeps us safe.- No, that’s not fair, he shakes his head. It’s not your fault I don’t know what to do with the gift you give me. Looking up at his heart with vacant, golden eyes, the body blinks up at him, unsure of what to do; the final blink refusing to open once more as he flicks out of this existence.

\---

‘Xemnas’ has been asleep for a week and a half- there are bouts of semi-conscious where they can manage to convince his body to consume some amount of liquid or food, but he’s not what Ansem would consider ‘doing very well’. In this poor health, they can’t afford to take another image of his heart and body to see if it is decaying, as the treatment would cause damage itself, so they just play triage to the parts of him they can help.

The King appears one fateful morning after hearing the whole ‘disaster’ that has occurred. Since it had technically ‘recovered’ itself within the day, however, he was in no rush, hence the delayed arrival. He was a busy mouse! And he’s not sure what he’ll do about the situation other than observing it. No better hands to be in than Ansem’s, he thinks. He’d talked with Riku about it over the phone, and after the initial anxiety spike at thinking ‘Xehanort’ was back, he really does want to hope that this new man is someone he can be friends with.

Ienzo looks like he could use more sleep when his teacher and the King arrive, jolting up from his seat, “Oh- uh, hello, your Majesty, sir,” he nods to them both, “How are you!”

Mickey blinks a moment of confusion, but leads into a smile, “Oh, well I’m just fine! You look like you could use a break, huh.”

Looking sheepish, “No change from the subject- well, from Xemnas,” he remembers he should probably humanize him, “outwardly, at least- there were some weird fluctuations last night in his minds wave activity,” he hums, avoiding the part where it’s insinuated he looks tired.

Ansem exhales a laugh, moving to his student to replace his watch, “Very good- you see, we’ve been keeping a very close eye on the situation, for everyone’s sake,” he remarks to the King, letting Ienzo shuffle by with a curt bow and nod.

“It looks like it’s in the best hands it could be!” A cheerful encouragement as the younger man leaves, stifling a yawn when he thinks he’s far enough for the two of his elders not to notice. “You want me to see something?”

A familiar voice. A high pitched, terrifying voice. They both gasp when Xemnas rocks from his sleep, eyes flicking open, a pained grumbling escaping him as he attempts to upright himself but plops back down with a dull thunk. He’s got a blanket now, and pillows, and it’s really comfortable and warm… But his eyes remain open, staring at the ceiling. After a nervous pause, Ansem speaks, “Awake?”

A few seconds pass, a slow blink, but his gaze does not remove itself from the ceiling. “Maybe.”

Mickey stifles a laugh, “That sounds awake.”

Without looking down, “Hello Mickey.” Wait, correction, “Your Majesty,” a hand moves to gesture alongside that, but it’s caught under his blanket. Yes, that’s how they talk to that man. “How are you.”

Ansem raises an eyebrow in confusion, head tilting slightly to the side and looking down to Mickey and the mouse responds, first to Ansem’s confusion, “Riku said he was being friendly,” and then to Xemnas, “Well, I’m doing just fine- and I’d ask how you’re doing, but I feel like I can make a good guess.”

“I’m less fine, but ok enough.” Are you, are you ok Xemnas.

Ansem interjects, “My apologies, but even though Riku might have claimed you were acting kindly, you apparently immediately started a fight, broke into my laboratory, and then started doing experiments you knew I’m not _fond_ of.”

He nods, slowly, “The fight was an… accident, I was overcome with… grief, maybe?” He shrugs up a shoulder, “I’m unsure. You know how it is. Emotions.”

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Mickey responds, eager to hear what he has to say, “Do you know what was causing that?”

“Uhh…” He’s not sure he actually wants to share that information with these two particular people. Slowly, he also tries at sitting up again, propping up on his elbows, “I did not think to be here would be something I would ever require doing again- especially not for my own survival.” Not a lie. But also, not entirely why he had gotten so mad.

They take it at that, there’s no reason to think there’s more behind it. “Not mad anymore though, it seems,” Ansem hums, regarding the flat way the other man was speaking and behaving. It far more reminded him of Xemnas than the apparently soft-spoken man he was being to Riku and Kairi as he was told.

“My heart is asleep… Or, worse, honestly.”

“Is that so? What makes you think that?”

He doesn’t exactly recall in full detail his adventure into his subconscious last night, there’s only that inkling feeling, but what he does remember is Axel shooting him with his keyblade. “Something Axel did, with his keyblade. It is bound, locked,” he places his hand over his chest, squinting in discomfort.

They both blink- Axel had _not_ mentioned doing anything out of the ordinary- Isa had been too out of it to recall, and Axel had been too nervous to mention it. “That would explain some things,” tilting over towards his computer, Ansem scrolls through a few dialogues, humming to himself. “I was thinking something like this had occurred- which is why I asked for your assistance, my friend,” he looks down to Mickey, and he nods in acknowledgment, “It’s a benefit you were able to wake and just tell me this had occurred, instead of me just inferring it.”

“A blessing that your mind even knew to read the data for a diagnosis such as that,” what a strange, long-winded compliment, and Ansem exhales a laugh to that. “Matters of light- I would not have inferred such a detail,” he waves a dismissive hand, eyes looking down to the King- one gold, one black. Something in him fears this tiny mouse man, and apparently, he wears it unintentionally on his face.

Tilting his head over, “What’s wrong, friend?”

Blinking, “…friend?”

“If you want to be,” a cheery look, “Riku thinks you do.” It never occurred to him that this would lead to becoming ‘friends’ with anyone. Was he ‘friends’ with Riku now, too? A hand raises to rub the back of his neck, eyes listing off to the side, and he remains wordless. “Well, first, let's unlock your heart, ok?”

Swallowing roughly, his gaze flicks back to Mickey, “I’m not sure if that is the correct choice of action.”

“Oh?” Mickey questions, though he has already summoned his keyblade, he waits for permission. He isn’t about to mess with ‘Xemnas’s being without his consent. “Uh-, why not?”

“I do not know what to do with what my heart gives me- and it lead me to a place that involved fighting someone I-“ he cuts himself off, sighing. “Someone who did not deserve kind of response. I’m not interested in making myself more painful to deal with.”

They both frown to that. Ansem still has suspicion in him to thinking this was a facade, a farce to make himself look like some innocent redeemer; but he remembers also recently when one wayward Even had shown up at his heel, seeking that aforementioned redemption. Was he also not somewhat to blame for the young Xehanort’s demise? Even knowing his heart descended from an apparently very evil man- without his memory of it, could Ansem have done nothing better to keep him from being led astray to darkness, against fate?

Mickey trusts Riku’s word, and thus, Xemnas is ‘friend’ now. Even if he didn’t hear it from Riku, he hears it from Xemnas’s own mouth, feels it in his own heart. “Now, I know where you’re coming from with that- but you’re never going to learn how to feel again if you just keep it locked up inside ya’! It’ll only get harder the longer you keep away from your emotions, I’d think.”

Nodding slowly, “You are correct. I’m afraid my violent reaction was the way I directed myself among my nobody kin. Many if not all of them pretended and kept their long-lost emotions in memory- while I struck them from myself. Stifled completely in my vacancy beyond the crippling desire to rise my Kingdom Hearts. The only emotion I’m even vaguely familiar with, is anger,” he tilts his head side to side, thinking about it closely now. A hand presses under his chin, weighing his head on it as he sighs, pitifully to himself. “It doesn’t matter now whether I unlock it or not. I’ve seen the images- it is dying anyways. Soon, it will just be me again, and I can live in my simple vacancy.”

Ansem laughs to that, rising Xemnas from his momentary depressive stupor, “I hate to rain on your parade- but Ienzo theorizes and refines that your heart is _not_ decaying, though it may be somewhat consumed by darkness. Shards stick out from the pieces missing, with fresh layers- it is repairing, albeit very slowly and stunted; it also seems as if you’ve somehow managed to jam more than one damaged heart in your equally damaged body.” … there is so much blinking to that, and a slow look towards the computer that remains nearby.

Quietly, “… Can I see?”

“Oh, you’re going to ask this time, hmn?”

“A favor I give you.”

A humoured sound and he backs up, gesturing with an arm to offer Xemnas to rise himself and slink over. Which doesn’t work- he stumbles on his legs immediately and nearly ends up on the floor before the older man can catch him, “Not ready to be up yet, hmn?”

“Ahh-, ouh, apparently not,” he attempts to get himself back up, but it’s not exactly working, his legs do not obey him- and to Mickey’s small statured credit, he pushes over a familiar rolling chair to prop himself up on where the mouse can not assist in holding the larger man afloat. Sitting his ass down, he rolls to the console, flicking through the images, “Well, this is only from the first night. How long has it been?”

“A week and four days.”

Xemnas nods, waving a dismissive hand, “I’d need a second image to base this theory on.”

“I’m not interested in permitting that.”

“Then you and he do not know for sure,” he tilts his head back, giving him an incredulous look.

“No, you are correct, we’re not completely sure. Unfortunately, the kind of science we do here now doesn’t always lend to exact results, because it has to first lend itself to the health and wellbeing of who we work with and on. I did you one favour in letting you take that one picture,” leaning forwards, Ansem trails over the 3D image, highlighting areas around the damage that looks cracked and fragmented, “but on your already damaged heart, this is not an ideal procedure.”

Lips pursing, his gaze follows where that finger points. Yeah, he knows those lines, where the imaging scan can crack lines into weaker hearts- which he apparently does have now. It wasn’t an issue for himself when he was younger, the darkness fully ‘cushioning’ his heart, so to say. “Very well. How does he think to back up his claim, then?”

“Other methods. Pulsing energy in minuscule nearly undetectable quantities,” he points to a diagram, Xemnas had known about those, he’d set up the diodes for it when he wasn’t able to reach the scanner, “Mind waves that collect during periods of the night like dreaming.” Nobodies did not generally dream, but that did not mean his heart was repairing, that meant it existed. Even Xemnas was 'dreaming' a bit near the end of all things.

“… Indeed. With your methods, we can only know with time.” Settling chin down on his palm again, he shrugs. It’s Ansem’s rodeo now. He’d accepted his fate when he thought he was decaying, he’ll accept his fate if he isn’t.

Mickey peeks up from behind, “So?”

“So which?” Looking back to the King, he’d forgotten what they were talking about before the science was occurring.

“Would it be helping or hurting to unlock your heart now?”

Xemnas blinks, and then looks to Ansem. He doesn’t actually know. “It would make it easier to discern if your heart is repairing itself if it was free- but as you said earlier, it uncollects your emotions. It’s not something I can decide for you.”

“So, safer for me, or safer for everyone else. I feel like I know my answer, then,” he shrugs, giving Mickey an apologetic look.

“You’re never going to learn if you don’t try, Xemnas.”

That somehow strikes a sour note in him, and he sticks out a tongue, sneering, “Despite its binds, I still find distaste and annoyance rising to me easily. Perhaps that is 'Xemnas' unbound shards of heart.”

An ear twitches, “Ohp, what did I say.”

“Xemnas- I’m not, I’m not just him. He was a nobody, born of desperation. I am, ‘me’, now…”

Ansem speaks, “And who is ‘me’? Xehanort?”

“…n….no, not that either,” he squints, shuffling his face into his hands. Muffled, “I spent so much time naming everyone else, now I do not know what to call myself.”

Mickey hums, tapping his chin with a finger, “Well, you made everyone elses names by scrambling them up and adding an x, right?”

“Correct.” Not just an x- but this isn’t the time for that particular conversation.

“We could do that again. Though, Xehanort already has an x, and is kinda long… We could re-scramble Xemnas? But probably not Ansem.”

“No, I would much prefer to keep my name.”

Still rubbing his face, “I suppose I should have a name rather than continue to get annoyed when people call me by what they know.”

Mickey squints, humming in thought. “… Xan…mes…. Mesnax.....”(mansex)

“….Maybe… add something from Xehanort…”

“… Nnnnnexah?”

… he sort of likes that. Nex, like ‘next’. “I don’t mind that. Nexahs.”(like nexus)

“Well, you don’t have to absolutely make up your mind now, but we can work with it! I hate to be pushy, but I hear your memory is a little sparse. Your heart?”

Oh yeah that’s right. He nods. “You really think a preference should be towards my freedom to grow and not your desire not to get punched?”

“If you accidentally punch me, I’ll know you don’t mean it, and we’ll work it out,” Mickey nods, affirming his resolve.

One more look to Ansem, but he’s not interested in influencing this decision. Like he said before- this isn’t a choice he can make for him. If he unlocks his heart and becomes violent, then that’s what life is going to be. Ultimately, it also means they can just lock it again, if Axel was able to do it without much thought.

With a heavy sigh, he rolls his chair backward, swiveling to face the still armed with his keyblade King Mickey. “Well, suppose I can’t let myself simply wallow in my own self-pity.”

“That’s the spirit! Now, this shouldn’t hurt- but it might feel overwhelming again. Just try to relax, ok?”

“Apparently, I don’t know how to relax, but I’ll keep that in mind,” he moves his hands out of the way. Hopefully enough if he does manage to suddenly decide he’s pissed again, his jelly legs will keep him grounded. Pointing his key, much akin to Axel’s many days earlier, the King closes his eyes, focuses- a beam of light shoots out, significantly less violently, a warm feeling invading his chest as he can nearly visualize the chains falling from his tired heart. No, it doesn’t hurt, but it isn’t pleasant, a flood of restrained emotion hitting his head- he peers to Ansem, and then to Mickey as the mouse relaxes back down, realizing how /terrified/ he is of the both of them. They see it on his face- and his eyes squeeze shut, slowly pushing himself back in his chair until he bumps into the bed.

“…Nexahs?” Mickey question timidly, a bit nervous he’s messed up somehow.

“Sssshhhhhh,” he’s trying to forget that they’re there for a moment. Raising defensive hands, he holds up a finger- ‘one moment’, before burying his face in his hands. They give him that moment- but it’s not exactly working, he needs help, he doesn’t know what to do-

The air bursts with thorns and suddenly this room is feeling much more cramped- two large Sorcerers appearing from the void to assist their awakened master. The other two yelp in surprise as Nexahs attempts to upheave himself from his chair and onto the bed- and perhaps behind the bed; unclasping its hands from its sleeves, a sorcerer’s wide claws reach down to snag him like a kitten and pull him up, sitting him there. Ansem is about ready to throw down, but Mickey remembers what Riku told him, “Wait-! We’re friends! We’re all friends here,” and it’s not as if the powerful nobodies are doing anything but floating ominously and looking between the trio of somebodies they’ve apparently stumbled upon.

“I’m just- I’m FINE,” he barks, but he doesn’t actually feel or sound fine; a sorcerer leans down, plucking the discarded blanket into its grasp, and indelicately throwing it over its master’s head. With Gentle Persuasion, it convinces him to lay down, covered and ‘protected’. This didn’t work at all! Well, no, it worked exactly how he said it was going to go down. Relax. Remember the relax. We’re relaxing now.

One sorcerer looms over its charge, and the other floats downwards, its covered face splitting vertically down the center to reveal its chompy mouth beneath, beady eyes peering down to the two beneath it. Ansem is very nervous, but Mickey trusts that they’re not here to fight, like the other Nobodies that had been friendly towards Riku. “Hello there! Did he accidentally call you?” Looking back to Nexahs a moment, it turns back to nod. Perhaps it was an accident. “Sorry about that. We weren’t attacking him or anything, he’s just feeling a little… sick! That’s a way to put it.” It nods again, understanding- they’ve heard their close master had become whole again, and then fell ill to his fate. Eager to see him again when they could, and sometime a few days ago, the defense system here that would normally deter them seemed to have vacated- though only for his own kind, the heartless are still kept at bay. Not to show up uninvited though, they had waited for their master to wake. Now, they see the true depth of his sickness, and sick he does seems to be, nauseated and overwhelmed by his emotions. “I’m Mickey, King Mickey, by the way!” It nods, it’s aware, “And this is Ansem, the Wise!” more nodding, a different Ansem than they’re used to, but they know the difference. “Do you two fellas wanna hang out down here with him while he rests for a bit? I think he’ll feel better if we leave him alone for a little while- but I think he’d be happy if someone stayed down here with him!” Tilting a head back to him, he’s crowded beneath his blanket now, the other sorcerer gently drawing its claws over his covered back, akin to petting. The communicating one looks back, and nods. A dull, booming voice invades their minds, purely robotic in tone, -If we are permitted to stay.- Both of them flinch, having never been ‘spoken’ to before by a nobody.

“...If you stay out of trouble! And maybe, if you can keep him out of trouble.”

-We will obey as instructed.- It’s weird when it stares down at him with its beady, pupil-less eyes, tone so flat as it reverberates in their minds.

“… Ohp, ok,” he presumes that’s just the way they talk. “We’ll be back later, ok?”

-If he commands we leave, we can not stay.-

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind!” he nods, moving to usher a less than willing Ansem out of the room. They stop short right outside the door so he can explain himself, “Just give him an hour to settle down, he’ll settle. He just doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore, right?”

A nervous nod, “If he’s going to do that every time….”

“Not every time! Every day it’ll get a little easier, a little better. You want him to get better, dontcha? Isn’t that why you asked me to come?”

He nods, humming an affirmative tone. “You are right, my friend. It’s been a bit strange for all of them, recovering from their ordeals.”

Smiling up at Ansem, him and Mickey head out. The mouse needs to have a conversation with Axel now, and how he shouldn’t go all willy nilly locking people’s hearts, if he was even aware that is what had occurred. They’ve been staying in Radiant Garden for the days since their arrival- for what reason, Ansem is unsure, he hasn’t been out to ask them their point of view on the matter. He finds that all four of them are more apt to avoid him than not. Completely understandable, he's fucked several of them over before.

Axel is outside with the rest of his entourage, a bit into town but far enough away from the public that they’re able to not be bothered- Isa has opted to lay face down on the sidewalk while Axel sits nearby, occasionally patting a leg. Xion and Roxas are there too, sitting on a nearby ledge; Xion flinches up when she spots Mickey and Ansem on approach- but Roxas isn’t phased. Sure, Ansem doesn’t fill him with fun, but he’s also been through enough at this point, not much makes him blink. Since he notices the rest of his quadfecta isn’t moving to greet, too busy between being on the floor or nervous, the blonde stands, pats the dust off his pants, and heads over. “Hey there! Sorry shit seems to have hit the fan.”

“Hiya Roxas! It’s no problem- everything is under control!...” Mickey’s gaze drifts to Isa, prone on the floor, and Xion and Axel, who appear to want to disappear. “Well- one thing is under control. Are you guys alright? I hear he gave you a run for your money!” Ansem follows behind the King, letting him control the situation for the moment, simply observing.

Roxas tilts back to regard the others, and then back, “Seems like it. Sounds like Isa would’ve had it, but held back for… reasons, I guess.”

“Uh… is he ok?”

Scratching his jaw, “…Maybe. Axel says he’s fine. Sometimes we just have to have a lay down, y’know,” a shrug. Walking up to the remaining three now, Xion stands, giving a tiny bow, while Axel remains sitting, gaze adverted, a hand raising to rub the back of his neck.

“Do you guys need a healer?” Mickey questions, looking down to Isa, who has yet to respond. It’s been a week and some since his ass kicking, but.

Axel replies, “Aahh, no, I don’t think so, we’re just having a moment. Something about, y’know. Emotions. Hard,” he nods, gingerly placing a hand on Isa’s back, and relaxing when he doesn’t receive a grumble for his troubles. “Sure you two are having your own share of that.” Mickey had heard tales- some of the nobodies reorienting back to normal life having issues dealing with their emotional outbursts. It’s why he wasn’t too surprised by Xemnas’, or Nexahs’ now, reaction to them.

Mickey smiles, nodding, “We sure did. It’s alright- we’ve got lots of patience to spare. Not hurting anyone to lay down for a bit- but not inside?”

“Mnn, no, I think we prefer it out here,”; he waves a dismissive hand, “No offense to you, Ansem, but your place kinda gives us the jeebies.”

“None taken.”

“Nice out here, in the sun. On the pavement.” Pat pat pat. “Uhh… Anything we can do for you two?”

“Oh, that’s right, I did need to talk to you specifically, Axel!”

Lips pursed, he doesn’t look like he’s happy about that, but, “Oh, uh.. shoot?”

“Did you try to lock Xemnas’ heart?” Isa raises slightly to that.

…. Blinking, “I mean, I didn’t… ‘try’, if that makes sense… Is that what I was trying to do?”

“More than try, actually- you succeeded!” Though the King doesn’t look displeased by this, still gentle and friendly, “But it’s not really good for his health, so I had to unlock it real quick.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry. I wasn’t really thinking- it’s like the Keyblade just, gave me an instinct,” rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes advert again, “Sorry if it gave you trouble.”

“No, it’s alright. It was an easy fix- and it stopped him from giving you a hard time. He’s all cooped up downstairs now, where he can sit and relax for a bit. I just wanted to know if you’d meant to do it or not, or if someone told you, you could. It’s a pretty advanced maneuver- and you can’t generally do it to an unwilling heart.”

Relaxing, “Oh, I didn’t know, no.”

Roxas leans in now, hands on his hips, “And since when have you been Mr.Advanced Keyblade techniques.”

Raising his hands defensively, “I don’t know! Like I said- it just happened. Maybe _you_ just need to catch up to me now,” he teases, reaching over to poke his leg. 

Ansem enters the conversation, still staring at Isa in curiosity, “If that’s settled- you know, you aren’t obligated to stay around here. You’re free to head home to your own world- he isn’t going anywhere. But, I’m not trying to imply I’m kicking you out. If you’re staying for a reason, that’s just as well.”

Muffled from the floor, Isa interjects, “I’d like to stay longer.”

Axel, blinking, “Buh- oh?” He opens his mouth to speak more- but then stops himself, shutting it and humming a thought.

Ansem tilts his head, and then down to Mickey, but the mouse just shrugs. “Very well. I know you said you weren’t interested in becoming inside of my lab, but If anything becomes an issue, feel free to contact me for assistance. I will likely be in town for quite some time, now.”

Isa, finally leaning up on his forearms to speak, “Axel, Roxas, Xion- if you three want to go back to Twilight Town, feel free. I can stay here by myself.”

Axel whaps him over the back, “And let you have all the fun! We’ve been over this- I’m not going anywhere. Besides- we used to live here! It’s nice to give the old digs a visit.”

Roxas shrugs, “Makes no difference to me ‘where’ we are, I’m just happy we’re together.” Mickey can’t help but let out a happy little laugh to that sentiment. He hardly knows these four- but he’s so glad they get to enjoy each other now.

Xion sighs, “Well I guess that means I’m stuck.”

“Sounds like Xemnas isn’t leaving the lab, so you don’t have to worry, Xion,” Roxas responds to that nervousness.

Rubbing her hands together anxiously, “Yeah no, I know- and I shouldn’t even care.”

Mickey tilts his head up, “Do you mind if I ask?”

“Ouh- huh?” Mostly unfamiliar with the King, she blinks at him in confusion.

“What makes you so nervous?”

“Other than the fact he went from hobbling around to tossing me across the street?”

“Oh, jeez.”

“I guess- you probably don’t know anything about me, huh…mnn.. I was kind of like, an Organization whipping boy. I mean, Saix was also pretty brutal to me, and I.. got, over that, but.” She sort of sounds like she isn’t over that, but Mickey only barely catches the lilt to her tone, and none of her friends seem to notice. “Xemnas has gotta show me he’s not still a power-hungry crazy person.”

“That’s pretty fair! I think he’s already starting to show some of those colours- but, you know, time.” Slowly, Mickey looks down to Isa, who has settled back to the floor when his apparently previous ‘brutality’ is mentioned. “This whole disaster created a lot of bad situations. I think with time, and with friendship, we can work towards a much happier future, right?”

Xion smiles down at him, nodding happily, “Yeah- you’re right!”

“Ohp- and speaking of which- he’s decided he’s not ‘Xemnas’ anymore, and gets a little… mad, when people call him that.”

Axel scoffs, “I feel that.”

“I’ll call you Lea if you want me to, man,” Roxas adds, giving him a shove- but Axel responds with a laugh and dismissive wave. He’s over that. Axel sounds cooler. “You’re the one who made everyone ‘memorize’ Axel.”

“Welp- he’s decided he’s partial to ‘Nexahs’, so if you can keep that in mind.”

Isa perks again, “… Not Xehanort?”

“I think it’s a little complicated,” he looks to Ansem, because he isn’t exactly sure of the situation, though Riku had mentioned some things.

“Ienzo and I have reason to believe this is not Xehanort- this is a ‘somebody’ created when the memories of the heartless,’ and he airquotes, “’Ansem’, and the nobody Xemnas came together to form something… new. Somewhat akin to you two, Roxas and Xion.” They both raise an eyebrow to that.

“I thought our hearts came from memories of each other,” Roxas gives him an incredulous look to that.

“And did you not remember Xemnas?”

“…not fondly.”

“Hearts can be both light, and dark.” That doesn’t really settle them to hear that. “To that, however- we’re are still hypothesizing. The night is yet young on concept of his being- or your being as well.”

Isa raises again, all the way up on his elbows, “Can I add something to that.”

“Of course.”

“He nearly split.”

Blinking, “What?”

“When we were fighting- he nearly split. I’m assuming Axel did not tell you.”

“I… did not.”

Ansem squints to that, thinking. “Is that why you locked his heart?”

“….. maybe?”

Mickey wrinkles a nose in distaste, “Maybe we should check on him sooner rather than later.”

“Unfortunately. My last addition is that we’ve turned off our defensive systems for the Nobodies on Riku’s request, so if some show up, it to be considered normal.” He’s already turning to head back towards the lab, Mickey following after.

“Stay out of trouble!”

Roxas replies with a wave, “Can do!”


	5. Chapter 5

It’s been an hour or so, like they said- the sorcerer’s are gone, but Even makes a note to his supervisor that they are ‘wiggling around’. In fact, several nobodies now are just… walking the halls. They keep out of the way and are generally still very timid- though Dilan gets a good scare when Dragoons pull from the void to greet their old master. Like Axel, at first he is apprehensive, but remembers their loyalty, and it fades to fondness in his mind. He opts to let them curl up on the couch with him as he relaxes for a bit with a book, but its like sharing a space with two large, unwieldly, sharp dogs. Soon, everyone also gets to see this, as Ienzo literally can not help but upload a picture for all to see; with Dilan’s permission, of course. ‘Looks like we’re going to have some old guests for a while.’

Nexahs is also staying out of trouble, despite the information Ansem and Mickey received about his issues with apparently staying together. That explains a few things him and Ienzo had been seeing, at least, some damage they blamed on the imagery but didn’t quite align with what they knew. He doesn’t rise when Ansem enters again alone this time, but he’s awake, laying there on his front coiled up in his blanket, still visually grumpy, but not losing his mind. His barely visible eyes from beyond the fabric peering out at his old teacher. Muffled, “Hello.”

“Hello, friend. You look comfortable.”

“Could be better.” This is definitely an exam table and not an actual bed. His body is becoming very sore from the many days he’s spent bedridden here.

“Very well. I think I have what I need from you- how about we move you to an actual room? I have one set up for you, upstairs. The door locks, so no one can bother you.”

“Or so I can not leave.”

“Only if that becomes absolutely necessary. You know why it has to be this way.”

Shrugging up his shoulders, he nods. “Yes, I suppose I do. Not that a locked door could truly dissuade me.” Slowly, he attempts to creep off the side of the bed. Are you working, legs. Tip toeing his way down…. Yes. It is holding his weight. It looks strained, however.

“I’d like to give you the chance to get yourself walking, but if you’re threatening to fall, please tell me before it happens.”

“I have a desire to walk.”

“Your desire to walk holds no bearings towards whether or not you can.”

He nods, that is in fact correct. But, he is standing, and walking, albeit slowly. There’s a glance spared towards the monitors- but he really can not focus on the science at the moment- and there’s nothing there he either doesn’t already know, or will know better than Ansem or, apparently, Ienzo.

“May I ask you some questions while we walk.” He is completely patient to the pace Nexahs sets. Which is good, because it is slow and methodical, staring down at his feet.

“Very well.” He is managing not to find Ansem an anxiety to be around, which is strange. Did we like him? He was a good teacher… was he kind…? He’s being kind now. That feels nice, once he manages to convince himself he deserves any of this kindness.

“Is there anyone else you think, if you see them, will make you very uncomfortable?”

“Is this including Isa?”

“It can include Isa.”

“I don’t want to say that he makes me ‘comfortable’.”

“You said the situation brought you grief, earlier.”

He nods, grumbling in his throat, “We were familiar with each other in the Organization as Xemnas. Between him and Xigbar, I don’t know who else I would prefer.”

With a tilted head, “Then why are you bitter to be around him?”

“Because he’s with someone else.” He’s not sure why he’s telling the truth now, and so plainly. Perhaps he wants to explain himself to his old teacher, or perhaps he hopes Ansem might have better insight for him.

“…Ah. You’re jealous, then.”

“Perhaps that’s correct. It’s very hard for me to say. It does not help that Axel was quite the traitor.”

“No, that sounds like it wouldn’t help your thoughts.”

“Is Braig around?” A hopeful lilt to his voice, but he isn’t expecting a yes.

“He is not.” A frown to that, his steps stumbling a bit. “My apologies. He is, so far, the only one who has not shown up again since their destruction- though many of the others do not stay on this world.”

“Ah, fate to me, then. I’m assuming that means the rest of my,” airquotes,” ‘dark shards’, have shown up elsewhere.” Well, sans the ones that were just… him.

“I have heard that they have- but I can’t remember exactly where they have all landed. Ienzo, Dilan, Aeleus and Even are here.” There’s a perk in Nexahs’ steps to that, he liked Xaldin’s loyalty. “Roxas, Axel, Isa and Xion live in Twilight Town, but have been staying here for a short while.”

A confused tone, Isa is still here? “Is Isa injured?”

“I’m not sure. I might regret to mention this- but I think he’s lingering around for your sake, and the other three are following suit for moral support.”

“Maybe he’d like to talk about it.”

“Perhaps- but would /you/ like to talk about it?”

His pace returns again, and they end up at an elevator to the upper levels. “Not…yet.”

“Repeating myself, however, is there anyone else beyond Isa you’d be uncomfortable to see?”

“…Mnn.. I’m aware Sora is also MIA. So, beyond that, no, I think we’re clear. Then again- I didn’t know seeing Isa would bring me such distaste. I’ll try to stay on top of it.”

“If having your nobodies around helps you feel more comfortable, you have full permission to keep them around. I hear yours are still nearby.”

“You don’t mind them staying…? I tried to tell them to go home, but they seem eager to remain. Maybe they’re lonely.”

“Dilan says that his say their world is very ‘depressing’ to be in.”

An eyebrow raises to that, “His dragoons come for him?” An exhaled laugh, leaning on the wall of the elevator as they end on their destination, hesitating to walk again. He must at least manage to get out of the elevator- but he does yawn. Unfortunately, Ansem doesn’t know to question the yawn.

“Apparently they ‘miss’ you all. As much as a nobody can ‘miss’ anything,” Ansem’s tone is humoured, eyes drifting to the floor in thought as he walks out.

“They desire purpose. And I gave them this, easily. Without me, they apparently have nothing. But I do not know what to give them now,” he grumbles, starting up his walk again to follow.

“Well, Dilan is giving them ‘pets’ and ‘a spot on the couch’, and that seems to be comforting them significantly.”

..haaa, he wants to see that. “That is good. I told some recently that I would do everything I could to alleviate their struggles. Since I…” he gestures loosely with a hand, “Caused them and all.”

“We can probably help this, yes. Ultimately- as they do not have an insatiable hunger such as the Heartless or Unversed, I think we can find room to accommodate them, for now at least.”

Nexahs nods, smiling softly- which catches Ansem off guard. Nexahs notices, and, “I keep getting that response.”

“I don’t think anyone has seen this particular you smile before. At least, not maliciously.”

“I suppose not. I can’t really help it.”

“My apologies- I’m not trying to imply you should stifle the response. You smile and be amused all you want.”

As they turn a corner, they bump into the aforementioned Dilan and two large dragoons- he stiffens at the sight of his old ‘boss’, but Nexahs is too busy yawning again- and yawning so violently he rocks back on his heels, wobbling heavily- until his legs completely become out from under him. Ansem yelps at the sudden change from ‘tired but ok’ to ‘unconscious’, but a dragoon snaps with a gust of wind to the side of them, snagging its wayward commander before he can smash his skull into the floor. Dilan startles again at the change, and after a second of them both holding there, he speaks, “Ah, that is why you two wanted to wander.” The one beside him still nods, while the other lifts Nexahs back to his feet.

He’s struggling, however, more confused than anything as his mind wanders elsewhere from the situation. He spots Ansem and looks quite discontented by this- but then spots ‘Xaldin’, and the dragoon, and, very sleepily, “Oh, hello Xal-….Dilan,” he nods to himself, barely reorienting. “Yes.” Xaldin was also loyal during his time, and was a comfort to see, even if Dilan was an incredibly different man now.

“Mhmnn. Suppose I came around at the correct time. Where were you two heading?”

“The dormitories, I was hoping to put him in an actual bed, though I am having some reservations now… But, you’ll sleep better somewhere more comfortable, I think.”

The dragoon has him propped up under his arms, but his legs aren’t interested in becoming under himself again. Understanding this, it pulls him under its arm instead to fully carry him. “This keeps happening to me.”

“I might for a while until your heart and body figure themselves out.” Ansem sighs, settling down from that momentary excitement.

Dilan exhales a laugh, “It’s only a short distance from here, you’ll live,” but man he is absolutely _loving_ seeing Xemnas being toted around like a cat. The dragoon that lingers beside him shakes out its scales, teeth clacking from its barely obscured face; it offers to move out of the way so its companion can get by- but they are big, and the hallways are small; it teleports a short distance away, which is a scare every time it occurs. To Ansem, “Sorry about that. It might be some getting used to if they’re going to be around now.”

Beginning their walk again, now with Dilan and his dragoons, “Do you want them to stay,” Ansem asks, tone more questioning than discerning.

“I… Is that really up to me?”

“I’m asking your opinion for a reason.”

“I enjoy their company. They were very loyal to me- I feel like I owe it to them to offer… something,” he hums, “However, I know that there any many of them remaining. I do not know what it would take to accommodate them all. Me personally, from what I am told, is that 26 of my Dragoons remain. Not many of them were produced in comparison, due to their general strength and prowess.”

Ansem tilts a head, “Forgive me- produced?”

“Ah- I wouldn’t be an expert on that…” Slowly, he looks down to Nexahs- and now that he isn’t walking, he does manage to speak.

Somewhat muffled from his position, “All Nobody come out as ‘Dusks’, beyond those of the very strongest hearts, who remain to copy their original form. Dusks with moderately strong hearts can be imbued with the strength to hold separate forms. I converted many of them to be folds to their master’s power.”

“You changed them?”

“Yes. Well- Vexen and Zexion helped.”

“So… 14 varieties, then, including the original ‘Dusks’?”

“Not quite. Some were destroyed or re-purposed when near half of my original organization became dead- but some were also reproduced when they returned for the ‘second try’. So…. Hmn. Actually, when I do the math, we do end up with 14 again. There’s some very tiny ones that are somewhat like the shards of bodies, and some very large ones that act like enforcers- but neither had a specific ‘master’. Not to mention, my Bahamut might be slumbering somewhere…”

“I truly hope not,” Dilan exhales nervously, “There would be literally nowhere to put it.”

Ansem raises a very concerned brow to that, but will question it later. “That makes it a bit more complicated. Would you be able to write down in some way their sizes and requirements?”

“Sizes, yes. Requirements? I’m less sure of. Since apparently, one of my strongest and capable creations wants nothing more than to lounge around like a pet.” He reaches up to pat the dragoon holding him, and it produces a strange, chittering noise with its covered mouth.

Dilan interjects, “Perhaps they continue to mirror us.”

“.. That would make sense, actually.” Their directive was entirely based on their leader. Quietly, “Then why were the samurai on Destiny Island…” Ansem hums a tone to request elaboration, “Samurai. They belong to Roxas- but they met me on Destiny Island. Perhaps they’re mirroring Sora instead…” What a complicated response.

“Well, if that might keep you occupied- you could do me the favor of writing these things down for me to investigate.”

“I should feel obligated to just give you all my research?”

“…Yes, honestly.”

“Ah. A shame. Ask Vexen…er. Even.”

Ansem exhales a laugh, shaking his head at the sudden, mild sass he receives. “Remember that I’m asking for this to assist in accommodating them.”

“… Mn, yes, that is how this conversation started. I’m tired, and upside down.”

“Fair enough. We’re here- and it won’t readily fit through the door. Can you stand? Can you walk about… five feet.”

“Admittedly, I’m still here,” Dilan adds, if his strength is required. Slowly, the dragoon sets Nexahs down to the floor, aaaaand… He is, standing.

Nodding to himself, a hand reaching out to balance himself on the wall. “You give me a computer to write on, I’ll do what I can. Legitimately though- ask Even and Ienzo what they remember, and you’ll get a crucial half of the story.”

Ansem nods, opening the door to usher him inside. It’s a very plain set up- a bed, blankets. Empty shelves and likely equally empty dressers. “You get comfortable here, and I’ll see about getting you a computer- and food, probably.”

Oh no, suddenly he’s reminded food exists, and the other two watch as his expression warps to the greatest distaste. “Very well,” he rumbles, obviously discontented, but he’s scooting his ass over the bed to thump down onto it.

“Alright- what was that?” Ansem immediately questions, because he’s not about the life that is letting his or any of their emotional influxes stew. Dilan takes a step back into the hallway with his dragoons, casually making note of the situation. Quietly, they speak to their old master the stories they’d heard from the samurai on the island. This man is very much unlike Xemnas, but not entirely not him.

Rubbing his face aggressively, “I’m hungry.”

“Just now, when I mentioned it?”

“When I landed, a woman took me in and fed me,” Dilan suffers not to laugh, “It was my first experience with something akin to happiness.”

“Humans can be like that,” he nods, humming to himself as he steps back into the hallway. “Food first then. I’ll be back. Please stay here.”

“I don’t think I could go anywhere if I wanted.”

Ansem’s food is not as good as Holly’s sandwiches- but it fills that void in his organs and settles him down significantly. Who would have guessed that was a major factor in his current temper. Ansem is glad that there are perhaps simple solutions to these mood swings, for now at least, since he’s apparently adopting this wayward person once again. At least this time he knows his predisposition for darkness better and hopes he can keep a significantly shorter leash. Ultimately, Nexahs still does make himself hard to be around, and Ansem takes this as a desire to be alone. Instead, he wishes he did have someone to occupy him- he’s tired, but he isn’t necessarily falling asleep. Curled up on his bed, he still does not summon his nobodies, they’re not really ones for conversation, and he’d rather them stretch out a bit than be cramped up in his empty room.

So, he is entirely unsuspecting when the pressure changes and a dark corridor opens across the room- which is not the way standard nobodies travel; Nexahs immediately attempts to ready himself for a fight, but his body says ‘no’ and he nearly topples out of bed. In the darkness, he doesn’t make out who it is, though it equally does not help they’re wearing those familiar dark robes his ‘friends’ were known for.

A familiar voice, “Wow- now I heard you weren’t doing so hot, but it’s a much different story to see.”

Ah, yes. Muffled as he attempts to reorient himself and sit upright, stand maybe, “Xigbar. Or is it Braig,” he strains, the interloper approaching to gently push him back up and into his bed. “Or, something else now.”

“Aww, you remember me~,” he laughs, rough in his voice as always as he uncovers his face. Eyes readjusting in the dark- definitely Xigbar, and he doesn’t appear to have changed since he last saw him- except his singular, dark brown eye. It’s hard to tell if he’s reformed, or still a nobody without the influence of Xehanort-

So, he asks, “Are you whole again?”

A confused blinking, “You almost sound concerned I’m not.” A hand pressed to his chest, he stares down at him with the utmost curiosity.

“.. I am.” Honestly, legitimately- he is concerned. He would truly like to know if his…’friend’, was ‘better’. He hardly knows Xigbar, even in the organization(s). He played himself friendly- but planning. Nexahs would be a fool to say he was unaware that the other man had his own plans behind the curtains- but since ‘Xehanort’s endgame was a universal reset, whatever Xigbar thought he would be doing afterward was of no concern. Now, it’s a strange thought that he’s coming to visit him for any reason.

Xigbar shrugs, “Yeah, I’m full. Went and found my heart- shoved it back where it goes. You know how it is.”

“…sort of. I can not say I’ve been doing this with much success.”

He laughs to that, slapping a hand over the other man’s shoulder, “That’s a way to put it! Man- it sure is strange to see you all weak and feeble.”

Nexahs gives him a flat look to that, “Well, what; are you here to kill me?”

Another laugh, “What- no! I wanted to see how you were doing!”

“Well, here it is, and you’ve put it very aptly.”

“Oh, don’t get testy now. You think you’ll be like this forever? You? Xemnas? Or Ansem. Or whoever you are.” Shifting on his heels, he plops down on the bed beside him, pressed to the side of his leg. Xigbar did have a way of just, shoving himself into your personal space without much care. Xemnas was more than used to it.

“Hmn, suppose I don’t feel like that is the case. Both Ansem- the…real one, and Ienzo, seem to think I will heal from this.”

“Aren’t you your own scientist? Can't you tell?”

“Not at the moment. My brain is more fog than not,” he gestures with a hand around his head, humming a sour tone. “I am at the mercy of these gentle folks who think to treat me like some lost, sad man.”

“You are a lost, sad man.”

“Yes- but they shouldn’t point it out,” he actually feels a quiet laugh rise from his throat, and as always, the smile and humour catch the other party off guard.

“Wow! Look at you. Living that ‘heart’ dream. Real, full emotions, and all that shit.”

Exhaling a laugh, he finds himself laying down again, sliding enough his neck isn’t kinked at too hard of an angle when it hits the wall, “It’s a lot more rage and pain than they were selling me.”

“Yeah, it does be like that. Kinda your fault- you let the memory of feeling fade from your mind entirely. Now you probably don’t know what to do with fucking anything.”

“You know, I was saying that exact thing just earlier.”

“Aha! Suppose that’s why _I’m_ doing just fine. I was a pro champion at pretending I felt things.”

“Many of you were. Some so far as to use those feelings and memory to produce their own hearts.”

“I saw! Roxas, and Xion…. What a thing to happen, huh.”

“It was not exactly foreseen. I blame Sora.”

“I think we can both easily blame Sora for many, many of our problems,” a hand reaches over, casually patting down on Nexahs leg like a testing touch- and when he finds there’s no complaint, he leaves it there.

“You bored.”

“A little. I’m in a lull of work now, you see. No boss, nothing to do.”

“Not willing to let yourself be bossed around by the people here either, I assume.”

“Hell to the no,” he punctuates between each word with force, patting down his leg. “I’ll have some things to do a bit later, so I can’t get caught up in any of your guy's internal drama this time.”

“Did you get your keyblade?”

“I did! It’s workin’ fine.”

“Still doing whatever you were planning back then all the time?”

“You bet- but, like I said. A bit, later. Wheels in motion, you know.”

“You’re playing a very long game.”

“An _extremely_ long game, my friend. I’m actually kind of impressed with how much you let me get away with.”

“You kept your loyalty when and where it mattered. I, ‘we’ didn’t care what occurred in the meantime. If we had succeeded- nothing you were planning would have mattered.”

“And true that. Thankfully- for me, and technically everyone else, you failed spectacularly.”

“I don’t know how it ended, actually. My two or more parts were destroyed before the end. I woke up on Destiny Island and went, ‘well is incorrect and unwanted’.”

Xigbar stifles a sharp laugh to his lackluster tone, “What a way to put it! I was also, unfortunately, indisposed at the time. I’m going to make an educated guess, and, well. Blame Sora.”

Nexahs nods. “I have been told, it was Sora, though with no further details. Going back a moment- Xigbar? Braig?”

“I think I’m going to stick with Xigbar, honestly. No reason not to.”

“I mean, you’re whole again.”

“Names have never really been a concrete thing for me. Flowing forwards- not a fan of going backward. If I’m going to change it again, it’ll be something new- but nothing has come up yet.” The prone man nods, understanding the sentiment. “What about you, huh? You said ‘two parts’, and now I’m a little confused. Are you not Xemnas?”

“Not..exactly.. Apparently, as I am informed, but could stand to be corrected, the heartless Ansem gave me ‘my’ heart, but it was somewhat devoured by darkness. Xemnas, in his memories, created pieces of his own. Neither could hold itself afloat- and thus, jammed themselves together into…this,” he gestures to himself. “There are likely more variables to this equation as well.”

“Wow, that is some complicated, fated bullshit,” pat pat pat. “Is that why you’re fucked?”

“Yes. Somehow, we still did not manage to fuse into one whole being, but it might fill out the gaps in time. It’s Nexahs, by the way.”

“Ooo, I like that. Still rocking the X, I see.”

“It seems required at this point."

“Fair, fair. Well- I do love these talks we have, my friend, but I think I’m going to let you catch up on your beauty sleep, hmn?” He moves to stand, hefting up his weight with a grunt. Nexahs is feeling significantly more socially fulfilled, so there’s no complaint to his leaving. Xigbar did mention he wasn’t interested in pretending to or being a ‘good boy’ with him.

“Well, stay safe, I suppose.”

“Aw, it’s really sweet how you apparently care now,” he teases, his corridor flaring back to life to allow him entrance.

“Yes, it’s very awkward and weird.”

“But it’s real, hmn?”

“It might be.”

A quiet laugh and a shake of his head, he waves his goodbye, and disappears into the night. Nexahs is no fool; he’s fairly certain that Xigbar is manufacturing his friendliness for the same reason Xemnas offered it once to him and Saix- to garner a ‘relationship’, loyalty based on comradery. If they are ‘friends’ again or still, then Nexahs is more inclined to help him later in down the road if his plans come to bumps. To his shame, however, he knows it is working. Already, his mind feels more inclined to assist him if he came to ask… He has no one else. As much as the rest of them in this facility are playing friendly- he can plainly tell it’s forced, no one could be actually interested in acting the role. Tomorrow, perhaps he would track down Saix- or Isa, rather, to see if he is interested in this still forced friendship. Less Xigbar obtains what he wants- a willing dog. Damn emotions- so fallible, so easily manipulated. Even aware of this, he does not know what to do otherwise to abate this.

Somehow, the next morning, he does feel significantly better than he had the night before. He ‘blames’ this on Xigbar- putting his mind at ease that he is not entirely hated. Ansem has said, ‘please stay here’, but he didn’t specify it afterward once he was fed. Does that mean he can wander? Should he wait for someone to show up for him? Standing, he tests the door- it’s not locked shut. Late in the morning, he’s certain to run into someone if he wanders- but he can always explain himself. Being locked in a room alone sucks when you’re lonely. Not to mention- he’d like to find a shower, a bathroom…more food. These basic, earthly desires.

At the very least, a part of his mind recognizes the halls enough he can navigate them- and as he stands outside his room, he recalls that this was… actually, his room. Well- his old room, ‘Xehanort’s’ room. Shame it seems nothing of his was kept- and why would it be, but now he’s wearing the same sweaty pants he’s been in for… oh boy. First- shower. Bathrooms- exactly where they were before, plumbing is hard to move. It’s not far from here- and nobody comes to bother him- well, a ‘nobody’ does bother him; one Sorcerer appears, snuffling down at him, and without thinking he reaches up to give it a good pet. Apparently, this one is ‘jealous’ of the attention the dragoons are getting- soft in his voice, less deep now, less like way ‘Xemnas’ speaks, and more like the distant soft-spoken young ‘Xehanort’, “I’m sure if you sat down with Dilan he wouldn’t chase you away.”

-True. But I have preference.- Clacking its jaw, its content is near palpable when Nexahs reaches under its jaw to scratch a place it can’t readily reach beneath the hood.

“Hah- you’re not supposed to have a preference.”

-Perhaps I have your preference.- … He shrugs, that’s a viable answer. As they were talking about it earlier, it seems as if the leftover Nobody’s continued to emulate their masters. As Nexahs grows soft and tired, so do his personal kin.

“Mnn, and where is your friend?” Releasing his grasp now, he heads back towards the bathroom, standing outside the door while he waits for the sorcerer to reply.

-With Ansem. And the old model Vexen. Working.-

A sore note in his throat, “Suppose I should trust them, hmn?”

-But you don’t.-

“If they start doing anything detrimental- you tell me.”

-I will obey as instructed,- it nods, wobbling backward to let its master know he’s free to wander away to the bathroom as he’s obviously wanting.

Exhaling a laugh, “If you think you can fit through the door, you can join me.”

Teeth chittering, it returns, nodding. It’s a nobody. It can fit through any door. Its physical form is only a suggestion.

Dilan doesn’t know what to suspect when he finds the bathroom occupied- no one should be in there, but there _is_ an interloper in their midst. One of which he was on the way to the room of, with a changeful of clothes. As he stands there, though, in front of the bathroom now with his aforementioned laundry, it’s sounding awfully….wet, in there. Knock knock. “What are you _doing_.”

A long silence. “… Well, as an afterthought, you will consider this making a mess.”

Another pause and Dilan opens the door- Nexahs is sitting there, absolutely soaked and naked, and crammed in the opposite corner is a sorcerer, squished and folded up in its robes much akin to a seal folded up in its skin- and ‘making a mess’ is what is occurring. Admittedly, the bathroom is waterproof, even outside the ‘tub’, and the water is running down a drain in the center and not into the hallway, but he’s got the shower hose out and spraying down the sorcerer- which  _might_ be enjoying itself. Its mouth is wide open, but the way it’s slinked back into its hood, that gaping mouth is all that is visible, casually gorgling water it catches back onto the floor. Nexahs looks completely nonchalant to this and doesn’t even stop as he sleepily peers over to Dilan. After a moment, he does lean back, turning the faucet switch to flow water into the tub instead, and then entirely off, because he does realize that this is probably the incorrect thing to be doing at the moment. Dilan opens his mouth to speak- but once the water stops, the sorcerer sits up, shivering off its form, before going a step further and soaking the two of them in droplets by shaking itself off violently. That open mouth for words turns into open mouth for screaming, because Dilan didn’t need to be wet- and neither did the change of clothes he was specifically bringing Nexahs.

“WHY-“

“My apologies,” he hums, but it’s obvious a part of him is humoured at these turns of events.

“There are clothes for _you_ ,” oh, slightly less funny now- then again, he was unaware he was receiving new clothes, and he’d already soaked what he had, so being wet was a part of life he was accepting. He simply sits and stares there as Dilan attempts to flick the water off his jacket, but it was so no avail. He is also wet now.

“I might have gotten carried away.”

“ _Might?_ ” Taking a step back outside the door, he plops the laundry outside where it is marginally less damp, “Is your forethought damaged as well, hmn?”

“It seems likely, at this point,” he nods to himself, looking to his sorcerer that is continuing to shrink. It knows when it’s being scolded. “Was I supposed to stay in my room?”

“Ahh-… I don’t actually know,” he shrugs, “I don’t think so. However, you _might_ want to avoid causing more mess,” reaching into a nearby cupboard, Dilan pulls out towels that avoided getting splattered, throwing it at Nexah’s very casual nudity, which he then opts to throw over his head instead.

Muffled, “This isn’t the worst mess I could have made.”

“No- you did that last week.”

“Oh, that was  _hardly_ the worse mess I could make,” he stands, violently wiping his hair dry-er-ish, before discarding it to his wet, squished boy in the corner. It chitters when its eyes are covered, but doesn’t move to remove it. Now he’s naked again, standing, stretching and peering at himself in the fogged mirror, after wiping it down with a forearm. Peering into his unfamiliar eyes.

Dilan tilts a head when he gets a look at his back, “Are you aware you’re still… marked, I suppose it is.”

Attempting to look back on himself, but he still can’t quite see this mark between his shoulder blades, “I’ve been told, but I’m not sure what it looks like- oh,” turning around, he peers at it through the mirror instead. “… Well, I have no idea what that means.” It’s like an interlaced nobody and heartless symbol- but its more like a scar etched into his skin than a tattoo. Reaching an arm behind, he scratches at it a moment, and then shrugs, still unsure of its reasoning.

Dilan is seeing a lot more nudity than he was expecting today, but since Nexahs seems to have no shame, he is less flustered than he could be, but alas, “Nexahs, is it? I’m going to need you to stop showing me your genitals.”

His spine stiffens like he suddenly remembers the awkwardness of that, looking down, “Probably why you gave me a towel.”

“Mmhmn.”

Leaning over, he snags it from his deflated sorcerer, casually wrapping it around his waist. It sits up again, peering between the two of them- and then its hood snaps shuts, the pressure of the room changing as it disappears into the void in a flurry of thorns. “Sorry- I guess we were just having…uh… Fun?” He shrugs, honestly confused with his own actions- but without judgment between himself and his nobody, they were free to just… do whatever, as it was.

Dilan frowns to that, “You don’t know if you were having fun?”

Turning back to face the mirror, “Not really,” he’s being honest. “I can guess that’s what it was based on what I know of others, but.”

“I can not believe you’re still playing as an emotionless husk. After all this,” Dilan scoffs, leaning on the bathroom doorframe.

Nexahs equally leans on the sink, half-dark gaze peering over his shoulder through the mirror. “I can not believe, you think I’m ‘playing’, after all this. I didn’t say I wasn’t feeling this- I said I didn’t know what it was.”

“You have your heart back. Should it not know?”

“My heart wasn’t interested in these emotions, even when it was whole. Equally, however- are you telling me, the moment you had your hearts back,” he twists on heel to face him, arms folding, “You knew exactly what each thing was? Did you feel regret? Pain for what you’d done?”

Sneering back at him, “Yes-, I _did._ Do you?” Dilan does not expect the expression he receives in return for this; Nexahs face warps to timid pain, eyes half lidding and his pitiful gaze drifting to the floor momentarily- to the side, and then back to meet with Dilan’s.

“ _Yes_ ,” it barely creeks past his throat, hoarse and under his breath. “The feelings I do know- pain, _regret_ , jealousy. I know them so well- might I apologize that I don’t necessarily recognize ‘fun’ immediately.”

His first instinct is to take Nexahs a liar, acting broken- but his heart knows better. There’s an air of pained genuineness about him Dilan can’t ignore. Licking over his teeth, he shrugs his shoulder up to his ears in discomfort, before relaxing back down. “Sorry. It’s been months. And we all had each other when we woke up, hmn? Me, Aeleus, Ienzo. I don’t understand what all went down before you, well. Destroyed us, but. I’ve been told it wasn’t necessarily all your fault- though it’s hard to believe.”

“I want to agree with whoever said that- but you don’t just fall to darkness because you do. It’s something you agree upon, even subconsciously.”

“Nexahs- we all fell to darkness. As Nobodies- we didn’t _have_ to be the way we were. I didn’t have to prey on the weak, I didn’t have to-“ he stops himself, grumbling, frustrated. Sighing, “This is a hard conversation to have normally, it’s even worse when you’re naked.”

“Perhaps one benefit I’m having- I don’t see what your issue with this is,” he gestures to himself- there’s still a towel, but alas.

“Because we’re civilized men, Nexahs, we wear clothes and we don’t spray down the entire bathroom with water.”

A slow, quiet laugh, “Then, perhaps, civilized men have less _fun_.”

A hand raises to rub his face, muffled, “Ha ha, very funny.”

“Was it?” Alright, _now_ he’s fucking with him.

“Stop that. Put some pants on, we can go for a walk, if you’re so interested in being up now,” leaning back around the corner, Dilan snags aforementioned pants and tosses them Nexahs’ way.

Barely catching them, and trying not to stumble, at least some of a pant leg hits a puddle, “Oh, I am to only be with escort?”

“You have a habit of passing out at random- you almost just fell attempting to catch pants.”

… He nods, dropping his towel to wrestle into them. He is equally stumbling to become inside them, because he’s still fairly damp anywhere that isn’t his head. “It’s not _random_ ,” he snarks back, leaning down onto the edge of the tub to squirrel his way in. Definitely loose, whose pants are these. Looking back to Dilan- ah, probably his. “Am I stealing your pants.”

“Yes. No one else here will fit you- well, alright, Aeleus might, but I’m the one who was interested in coming and seeing you.”

He blinks, slowly, winded from fighting with pants. Aeleus. He’d been out of his frame of reference for quite some time now. Not that Lexaeus was much for conversation- and died early in Castle Oblivion. No hard feelings now- but he knows why he wouldn’t be interested in talking to him at all. “I appreciate the offering.”

“It would be so, so much worse if I let you walk around in the nude.”

“If you say so,” Despite not entirely fitting, he really does appreciate the pants. “…Walk?” A head tilts over at him, eyes wide and curious, and Dilan hates how there’s any inkling of this notoriously evil man looks ‘cute’. He was not prepared for this.

“Yes. If you’re able.”

“Questionable,” he shrugs, approaching the doorway, still shirtless- but not for long, because Dilan will not stand for this, shoving a shirt in his hands. He stares at it for a second, humming a discontented tone, but does make an effort to get it over his head. Instead, he gets mostly stuck, unable to get in properly over the wet of his back- with a muffled peep, the hem is grabbed and pulled down his body in one, aggressive motion, and he is clothed. “My coordination is shot. My sorcerer had to help me become undressed as well.”

“This is such a befuddling experience,” he sighs, but gestures for him to follow.

At the very least, Nexahs is quicker to walking than he was last night, and he seems significantly more alert, awake and looking around at his distantly familiar surroundings. Just, an air of idle curiosity that floats about his currently vacant feeling mind. A different kind of vacant, though, where it usually stuffs itself with plans and direction, now replaced with weird, soft emotions of placation and.. is he happy? Not the outright, laughing and wholeheartedly enjoying himself kind of ‘happy’, but a quiet, overarching feeling. Just a mood someone might normally be in when things are calm and collected.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite anyones expectations- after that single days excitement with one loose and possible hostile ‘Xemnas’, three weeks later hardly anyone outside of the laboratory remembers it happened at all. Nexahs doesn’t leave the building- he finds balconies, roofs to hide up on to get his fresh air. His strength is returning- but there’s moments of obscurity in his mind where he stops, stands, stares vacantly and in silence for occasionally hours on end, if he isn't interrupted.. It’s obvious there’s something still not quite right about him- but Ansem sees it as a moment not to look a gift horse in the mouth, it almost definitely means he’s staying out of trouble. Ienzo is less sure- one afternoon he attempts to move some equipment, but is unable to manage the weight. Nexahs is around, everyone taking turns ‘babysitting’ him, and after he watches Ienzo struggle for a minute, he strides over, leaning to grab and move it. Ienzo attempts to vocally stop him- but out of seemingly effortless strength, the device is easily hauled up onto a nearby table. Swallowing roughly, Nexahs catches the apprehension, head tilting curiously.

“Sorry- it's just, last week you didn’t seem capable of doing much of anything.”

He shrugs, “Suppose your theories on me were correct.”

“They might be- but this is a far more rapid heal than I was suspecting.”

“Bodies heal quickly,” he stretches an arm over his head, barely whining under the strain.

“I mean-… Yes, suppose that is completely true,” Ienzo nods. His body strength is unrelated to his heart’s strength. It’s how he managed to become a pain in the first place, because he was managing to pull his body’s effort up to make the difference, using it to fight through Isa and Xion. Therefore, he continues to be reserved of Nexahs good behavior- he’s very aware of how quickly it could change, and how little any of them could do about it. Preparing for such an event is proving impossible, however. Apparently, he wears this realization on his face, a worried furrow to his brow.

“I’m not meaning to look tough.”

“No- I know you’re not.”

“You don’t trust me,” his tone is flat, not offended by this notion.

Raising a hand to rub his face, “You can’t blame me for that. Sometimes, I still don’t trust _me_.” Brushing his hair from his face, Ienzo pokes at his now table placed device, fiddling it in stress.

“Understandable,” he agrees, nodding, and Ienzo looks over his shoulder to give him an incredulous glance.

“I appreciate the help, still,” he mumbles, “Instead of just sitting there watching me struggle with it, right?”

“I mean, I did for a few minutes there.”

A quiet laugh, “Yes, you sure did.”

Slowly leaning him from behind, Nexahs looks over a shoulder to inspect the device. “What is it for?” He actually finds its somewhat familiar already, but wonders if Ienzo will tell him.

Still looking down at it, he tilts his head back and forth, humming his thoughts, “I have been told explicitly that you are _banned_ from science.”

A barely stifled laugh to that, “Oh? I mean… Fair, but also. I’ve been listing what I know of the Nobody- is that not science?”

“I mean- it is, but giving information isn’t the same are practicing.”

A long moment of silence passes while his gaze flicks across the device, Ienzo assumes it means he’s given up, however, “It’s an old scanner you’re modifying and repairing to assess the minutia of something other than is was built for- which was small class heartless. Knowing that and the previous conversation, my guess is you’d like it to make schematics of small class nobody instead.”

Ienzo spine stiffens, and he squeeks- “If you _knew_ then-“

“I did not know when I asked.”

Blinking, “I-… This is why you’re banned from science!” Ienzo turns around, pushing him back away from the device, which doesn’t work until Nexahs takes a step back himself.

“It’s not as if I’m going to touch it. Which also means, I can not help you fix it,” he _teases_ , sticking out the very tip of his tongue.

“If you know so much- then maybe you _should_ help.”

“But then you’ll never learn,” staring down at him, Nexahs thinks he’s having fun with this situation.

Squinting, “.. Fine- you know, you’re right.”

“I often am,” but he’s cut off with a hand pressed to his mouth.

“Sssshh- shush, you.” He is shushed, but still barely smiling beneath his palm, “It would be nice if you could just tell us the things we want to know about.”

“Alright- I remember _many_ things, but do _you_ remember all the details to every aspect of your research?”

“…No…”

“If I could get to my facility in the Castle that Never Was, I could get you this information- but without the ability to travel there, I can’t even check if the castle hasn’t disintegrated so far there’s nothing to obtain.” He shrugs, lamenting that his research is decaying away in another world. Admittedly, some of it is already snuck underneath this exact facility, and he wonders if Ienzo remembers it. He’s also not entirely sure he’ll give Ansem his hidden basement.

“Hmn… So if we could get there, we could get this information?”

“You can’t fly there readily,” it’s been closed off, locked since Sora and himself somewhat destroyed it, and even more so he expects now that he nor Xehanort are running it.

He nods, but pulls out his phone, leaning back on a desk as he types, “Yeah, I know.”

“… Is there someone who still travels the darkness you know of?”

“I mean- Mickey can still travel the corridors, though I’m not sure if he can travel the alley to nothing..” He shrugs, “I should probably give Ansem a heads up, however… Want to go on a walk with me to his office?”

“I am infinitely curious as to who you’re summoning to assist you in getting to the World that Never Was, but you don’t seem inclined to outright tell me.”

“I’d rather keep the surprise,” he teases right back, payback for earlier, and Nexahs can only laugh quietly.

“Indeed, suppose I’ll live with that.”

Ienzo has already messaged Ansem to tell him his plan, but wants to talk about it in person anyways- not to mention that it’s his computer they would be transferring data into, so they might as well be in his office. When they arrive, he is with Even, having a casual but related conversation.

“Suppose he _was_ good at following directions- but I know my computers were not a cake walk to get into- I only assume that Xemnas’ are significantly worse.”

Eavesdropping on the way in, “They are.”

Startling slightly, as Even does every time he hears Nexahs, “Ah- oh, yes,” he nods in agreement, “It’s not as simple as passwords with you, hmn?”

“No. However- to make it impossible to contact my servers remotely would also be foolish. There are ways. Admittedly you could just send me myself.”

Ansem interjects, “I would rather not. Despite your experience in the darkness, I do not trust the strength of your heart currently to withstand the strain of the realm of darkness to travel in.”

He shrugs, and nods, “Unfortunately, I do agree. You want this information soon?”

Even replies, “The sooner the better. Suppose no, it isn’t ‘vital to living’, but. If we are to find somewhere safe to keep the leftover Nobodies.”

“Mnn, I understand. Who is this helper, then?”

Tilting his head, Even looks to Ienzo, “You didn’t tell him?”

Sheepishly, “Ah, it was, funner to let him guess. He hasn’t actually guessed correctly yet.”

Rubbing his chin, Even narrows his eyes, a mischievous look to Nexahs, “Oh, has he not? Oh, the smartest of us all, hmn?”

Rolling his eyes, “I haven’t really guessed at all. Perhaps I’m letting myself be left to surprise.”

Ansem interrupts, “Have you already called him?”

“I was waiting for you to give me the go-ahead, Master Ansem.”

He nods, “It is fair. If he’s willing to assist.”

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t be,” pulling out his gummiphone, he sends a few messages- Nexahs attempts to look over his shoulder, jokingly mostly, but Ienzo still pulls his phone back, hissing quietly. “No! You have to guess.”

“Hmnnn… Well. Presume it is someone in my previous organization, yes?”

“Aahh.. yes, this is technically correct.”

“Both organizations?”

“…Sssort of- wait, this isn’t supposed to be 20 questions!”

“No, but you were obliging, so I was pushing it.” Nexahs hums a curious tone, eyes half lidding as he thinks about it. “Narrowing it down to people I would assume still skirt the line of darkness despite regaining their hearts- Marluxia, Larxene, Xigbar… maybe Luxord?... “ Eyes flicks to Ienzo, but he shakes his head, no. “Oh, that’s very curious then. I feel it’s extremely unlikely you’ve tamed Vanitas or a replica Riku.” Looking more amused with each incorrect guess, Ienzo continues to shake his head no. “… I have missed someone.”

The pressure changes in a familiar way, a dark corridor opening to the opposite of them, “I can’t believe you FORGOT ME,” a familiar voice, high and flighty, Nexahs knows who it is before he steps through, hands on hips.

“.. I’m not sure you can blame me. You made yourself very avoidable, Demyx.” Still in dark robes, he looks very much identical to when he saw him last, beyond his un-nort’ing, apparently, which leaves him with his original pale blue eyes.

Sticking out his tongue, “Bluh-duh, because you were a big loser.”

“Ah, very apt,” Demyx looks a bit like he’s prepared to get hit for that, flinching at his own lack of foresight- but nothing comes. That confused expression stays on him for now, however, because uh… well… Xemnas. He’s a little too occupied to question it now though. Apparently, Xemnas is just here now, working with Ansem. 

“Thank you for coming so fast, Demyx!” Ienzo walks up to him, offering him a friendly handshake, which he balks at for a moment with an air of vacancy, and then takes the offering. Curious response, Nexahs thinks.

“It’s not like I’m doing anything else,” he shrugs, “What’s up? I mean- I know you messaged me saying you wanted me to get something from the World the Never Was, but.”

“Yes- we’re hoping to regain some information of Xemnas’ computer, possibly before the world collapses. Is it, by the way, collapsing?” Ienzo tilts his head, giving him a curious look. Equally, so does Nexahs. Why would he know how the World that Never Was was doing.

“It is not doing so hot, no. Wait- is that in the castle? That damn thing _crashed,_ kind of recently actually- I don’t know if it’s navigable, let alone if anything inside still works.” He shrugs wide with both hands, looking nonplused.

Even tsks his tongue, “What a waste.”

Nexahs head is tilted far over, intimately curious. “My computers were not connected to the main power of the castle, there is not much that would stop them beyond their own personal destruction- do excuse me- how do you… know this.”

Squinting “….ahh.. I live there….?”

The final ‘commander’ the nobodies spoke of, the ‘useless’ one, “… you’re still a nobody-!” he points at him, and then _looks_ at Ansem, and Even. They’re not sure why he’s mad, “Why are you still a nobody.”

“Uh, excuse me, “ he points right back, “Pointing is _rude_. Also- uhhh, because I don’t have a heart…?” Well, he doesn't have his 'original' heart, and it seems like he hasn't made much headway into a making a duplicate for himself. 

Bringing a hand to his face, Nexahs rubs the bridge of his nose, “That’s not what I meant. I mean- I thought you said everyone returned to normal.”

Ansem replies, “I said everyone who fell in the final battle had returned, which Demyx was absent for. I, admittedly, also just forgot.”

“It’s ok, I’m _more_ than used to this by now."

“That… Well, how did Even reclaim his heart?”

Even shrugs, “Ah- we went and found it, and… put it back?” he shrugs, looking sheepishly between his two equals.

“So you’ve put the effort into curing yourself, but you’ve neglected someone.”

“Pfftblt- does it look like I need ‘curing’,” but there is something about Demyx that looks a bit… thankful, that this is getting mentioned. It’s still weird that it’s from the High Lord of Emptiness and Asshole-ry, Xemnas- which he still wants to question, by the way. Ienzo did not mention that Xemnas was here.

He stares daggers back at him, vaguely incensed by these turns of events, “Convenient- but unfair. You can not keep him like this.”

“I mean- I never really mentioned it,” Demyx raises defensive hands.

“No, you would never. It’s not in your nature. So, allow me to do you the favour,” slowly, he looks to Ienzo, Even, and then Ansem.

“It is up to Demyx to decide if he desires his heart back. At the moment, however- your computer? The castle?”

.. Squinting, Nexahs does realize when he isn’t going to currently win an argument, and softens his rage, forcefully- which is hard, because he catches that miniscule deflation Demyx gets when he’s once again pushed aside.  “Yes, I understand. Demyx- I will write things down for you, but equally, my sorcerers will travel with you. They will tell you where, how, and when to go.”

Raising an eyebrow, “When?”

“Yes.” The air around them fluctuates, and the aforementioned sorcerers appear, hovering to either of Nexahs’ side. No matter how many times it happens, it still startles the three every time- and Demyx entirely not expecting it, squeals. “Was your plan to go now?”

Readjusting himself, straightening out his robes, “Ahem- yes, I was going to go right now. Like, y’know. What else am I doing.”

“Very well,” looking to Ansem, “Paper? And a save drive. A…big one," Ohh, no, no drive would be big enough for this… "Or- if you have it, a network hyperdrive.”

“I do- but I wasn’t sure it would transfer that far.” Ansem nods, leaning back to his desk to obtain paper and pen, and offering it to Nexahs.

“It will if a corridor is open beside the terminal.”

“I thought we couldn’t make corridors that close to the primary terminal?” Demxys questions.

“I’m impressed you remember that.”

“You said that the punishment for attempting it was ‘immediately and painful death’.”

“Indeed, I did- and it was, and is. Not even from my hand- the defensive of the systems would terminate you.”

“…ssssoooooo, I don’t really want to do that.”

“You turn off the defense first.”

“How many steps are there to this.”

“Many. I am writing them down. I remember you preferring written, very explicitly detailed steps, and that when given that, you became very efficient at your job.”

“I’m kind of impressed _you_ remembered that.”

“I did not mention you earlier because I presumed you had your heart- and I presumed you’d be nowhere near ‘danger’ or darkness again, not because I forgot you.”

“Oh…” He frowns, shoving his hands into his sleeves.

“Are you still like this? Explicit directions, efficient direction,” Nexahs’ tone of voice changes, commanding- 

Suddenly, he stiffens his back, responding to orders with a nod, “Yes sir,” the other notice the sudden change, all ounces of ‘silly’ or ‘timid’ leaving him to a vacant, obedient state of being. Even Ienzo and Even catch themselves straightening in trained attention, albeit less stiff than Demyx's response was; Ansem looks between the three of them, confused at how instinctive that response was.

“Good. Ultimately,” he’s been writing this whole time, “If the castle does prove to be too dangerous, if the computer is malfunctioning, or if something else vitally harmful occurs- you are to leave, and we will figure out something else. I’m not interested in you getting destroyed.”

“I mean, I could just come back…”

“Not without your heart. Your first revival was of Xehanort’s will-“ he offers the paper, folded cleanly, a and stares down at him with an air of severity, like he isn’t professing some manner of worry over his old underling. “Do you think your heart is free.”

Squinting, his formal demeanor fades once again, “Uh, why would I know.” He takes the offered paper, opening it for a moment to read over the first few steps, before pocketing it to read the rest later.

“You would know,” he hums, looking towards Even and Ienzo. Slowly, they nod.

“You would feel it.” Even adds.

Demyx looks to the roof, apparently thinking very hard. “HHhhhhhnnnn- nope, don’t think so. A shame. Whatever,” Ansem offers him a small, palm sized drive, and some kind of hub connector, which he also pockets. “I’ll be back!” And with that, reopening his corridor and popping back out of existence, unwilling to deal with the situation about his heart, rather dealing with a computer system that may or may not obliterate him. The two floating sorcerers follow shortly after.

A moment of silence, and then he turns to Ansem, “I’m not inclined to let this slide.”

“As I said, Nexahs. It is his decision to search for his heart. We can not do it for him.”

“You never even told him he had to look. I know this man- he’s a timid fool. A disturbingly powerful fighter when he is aimed in the correct direction- but requires that, ‘aiming’," he gestures with his hands, 'pointing' them to explain his meaning, frustrated

“Then, when he returns, you can speak with him about it? If it is something that piques your interest- you said earlier perhaps we were keeping him nobody for ‘convenience’, but I assure you, it was ignorance.”

Ienzo nods, “It’s true- we just didn’t consider he… cared? Even seemed to care, actively searched for his heart.” Even gives a shrug, unsure of what to add to the conversation.

“Very well. I will accept your admission of ignorance because that’s ‘interesting’ in its own way,” he exhales a laugh, hands leveling to his hips. “Give me some minutes here- he’s already there and I need to tell my sorcerer’s what to do.”

Ansem blinks, “You.. still command them from afar…?”

“It’s definitely not as easy as it once was,” his vision grows vacant, staring off. “But yes. Please be quiet for the moment.”

 

* * *

 

Demyx is having trouble staying on firm ground. The castle is at a 20 degree angle and getting traction up the long hallways or over broken floating paths is definitely giving him hell. “Man! Why do I always gotta get the jobs like THIS-“ he curses openly, loudly, to the completely vacant air- until the two sorcerers arrive. He startles again, nearly tripping off a platform- but one leans down to snag him back up.

-Commander.-

He snrks, “Ha! I am now, aren’t I,” sticking out his tongue, he rights himself and heads back up to his destination. The ruined heart of the castle, deeper and now darker than he’s ever gone before. He swallows roughly, thinking about the aforementioned ‘painful destruction’.

-A message for you, if I may, my liege.- Floating alongside him, it rumbles in his mind, and when he finds solid enough ground again, he nods.

“Yeah, shoot buddy.”

-You must find your heart.-

Frowning, “I already told him- and I already tried. I don’t know where it is. What’s the point, anyways? I can’t unlock it,” frustrated, he cracks a section of already obliterated glass beneath his boot, shuffling it around before kicking it across the sideways hallway with a skittering clatter; it falls into a chasm, and takes a significant amount of time to hit any bottom.

-We will assist. If you want your heart.-

“I-“ he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, “Of _course_ I want my heart. But everyone seemed too busy- and like, it wasn’t really _hurting_ me not to have it. Besides- that means I can still do stuff like THIS, and can help this way, right?”

-That isn’t fair.-

“Life doesn’t have to be fair, man,” he starts up his walk again, huffing with his hands jammed in pockets.

-No, but it can be.- It and its cohort follow nearby, obviously mirroring its master word for word.

“Alright- then sure! I guess I’ll just keep being big, selfish me, right? I was good at that,” he hums, opening up the paper to read once again, before going down a specific darkened hallway. To join him as well, dancers float into existence, skating around their master and laughing quietly between each other. Sighing, “I’m the only one they have left, right?”

-We still hold loyalty to this new model lord Xemnas, despite his completion. Though we may appreciate your assistance and familiarity, nothing could alleviate us more than for our comrades to be complete as well. Once fueled by jealousy, we only wish the best outcome for each of us; and that, is to be complete.-

Slowly, he nods. “I… alright, ok, sounds like you aren’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. Fine! When this is done, we’ll go look for my heart, ok?”

The sorcerer chitters, its hood opening lengthwise to reveal its face beneath, a seemingly cold stare down to him beneath. -Acceptable. Now, let us retrieve this information.-

It goes off without a hitch- well, a few snags, that between the three of them deal with as quickly as they arrive. Xemnas wasn’t kidding when he said ‘when’, because only in specific intervals can he even cross into new rooms, log codes into terminals, and finally, he arrives. The only real issue is getting the computer to talk to him at all- and it seems heavily inclined not to- so he jams the devices in, hopes he did manage to turn off the security, and with a rough swallow, opens up a corridor between their worlds. There’s an alarm sound- and he prepares to be disintegrated- but it belts out ‘SECURITY NON-LETHAL. LORD XEMNAS WILL BE ALERTED TO YOUR PRESENCE,” which Demyx replies with a curt ‘GOOD’.

 

* * *

 

Back in Ansem’s office, he is very cautiously letting Nexahs on his computer, and as the corridor opens on their end, so does a flow of information- much of it is security measures he needs to deal with absolutely _immediately_. Watching over his shoulder, Ansem catches the depth of the coding, and has some regrets about letting him plug this into his personal computer. The security could easily nuke their entire system if it is not dealt with properly. Slowly, he hands off for Even and Ienzo to leave the room, because any interruption to concentration could be catastrophic-

“There, is it WORKING, are you HAPPY-“ Ansem flinches, but Nexahs is unphased as Demyx returns, entirely used to his vocal outbursts.

Responding to him, “Yes, it is working. Please be quiet.”

“Ohp- whoops, sorry,” he takes a step backward- but doesn’t stray too far from his corridor, because he needs to keep it open for this apparent dataflow. “…auhh… if I keep this open, heartless are going to start coming through.” The sorcerers reappear- as do several of his dancers- though the dancers are less occupied guarding the door and more interested in teasing Ansem, until he sets a grip around one's head, and they all freeze in timid restraint. “Oh yeah, that’s a solution.”

“I prepared for this,” Nexahs replies.

“Smarty pants guy,”

“Only sometimes,” he exhales a low, rumbling laugh. Demyx folds his arms, leaning on heel and looking between him and Ansem, sounding humoured but not necessarily looking it. Much as Ansem and Nexahs noticed before, if a nobody doesn’t think they need to pretend, they won’t. In moments of silence, an air of vacancy reigns, and it’s very stark on Demyx. He does regret not offering to help the man before. Demyx catches that sad looking glance, head tilting.

“Heh?”

“Mn- apologies. I’m lamenting the fact we neglected to help you.”

“Oh- uh, I mean, it’s no big deal, really. I coulda said something, or… Y’know, whatever. It’s not _that_ bad in the World that Never Was. Real quiet having the big place to myself!.. Sort of. Lots of less-strong nobodies there, for company.”

“Is my Bahamut alive?” Nexahs questions with a lilt of hopefulness.

“You bet. It’s sleeping in the Fields of Nothingness. Sometimes it wakes up and clatters around like an asshole- but with nothing to do, it’s pretty content just laying around.”

“Ah, inconvenient. I don’t know where we’re going to put it.” He’s slowing down his rate of typing, mostly watching dialogues go by while files transmit to the new computer, compressing and decompressing in sequence.

“The world isn’t disintegrating yet.”

“But it will.”

“…yyyyeah.”

“And we can not have Nobodies just appearing anywhere doing whatever wills them.”

“I guess not. Isn’t there a big field outside the town here?”

“Uhh…maybe. Is it still a field?”

Ansem responds, “They’re sort of started building into the wreckage there, but much of it is still empty, yes.”

“I don’t know if they’ll appreciate if I put a massive dragon there.”

“I was waiting for you to tell me what a Bahamut was.”

“It’s a dragon-like nobody. About, hmnn…150 feet long?”

A hand raises to his press to his face. Muffled, “Oh good.”

“Sora destroyed it- but the one ‘benefit’ to weaker nobodies- they almost always come back, until their heart is freed. Somehow, a 160 foot dragon counts as ‘weaker’. Admittedly, it’s made of… several ‘bodies’. It was kind of an experiment for me. See how big, how catastrophic I could make a single being.”

“That certainly sounds like you.”

“It has shards of me in it, as well.”

“Is this why it seems vital to you to keep safe?”

“Yes, a little. It’s holding onto something I may need back one day.”

“I find it somewhat hilarious to believe, after destroying your body with science, that you continued to do this.”

“I mean- I didn’t think to destroy my body and hearts connection the first time was a ‘problem’.

“Hey uh, can I like, ask a question?” Demyx speaks, finally letting himself be curious.

“Of course.”

“You’re not Xemnas.”

“No.”

“You’re also not an old man.”

“No.”

“….SSssssooooo, why are you not Xemnas, and or an old man.”

“These are actually questions we have not fully answered,” Nexahs sighs, shrugging. “Best guess- Xemnas produced a new ‘somebody’ much akin to Roxas. Ansem- the heartless, not the ‘wise’, came too for, the fun of it I suppose.”

“Ha! That’s so dumb!”

“It certainly is. And here we are now.”

“Uhh… so, not Xehanort.”

“No. King Mickey named me ‘Nexahs’.”

“Why did he get to name you?!”

“I was tired of making names for everyone else, and he offered, so I took it.”

“It’s a good name. I’ll try to remember- or uh, shit, I’ll try to, keep it memorized,” and he poses, obviously mocking someone in particular, and Nexahs _laughs_ , stifling himself with the back of his hand. “You really aren’t Xemnas, huh.”

“No. You missed out on the last few weeks where I’ve been confused at every impasse of emotional distress. I got scared of the laboratory steps and decided to fistfight Saix- Isa, even though I was half dead.”

Demyx snrks to that, “Oh man! Why wasn’t I invited. I mean I know the answer, but.”

“I’m likely not done making mistakes like that.”

“I mean- when you got all heated when you heard I didn’t have my heart- that was, mnn, if I could feel, y’know.”

“Ha- did you wish I cared more before?”

“For a guy who said you were making Kingdom Hearts specifically to get our hearts back, you sure did a lot of being a butthole. ‘Course then the whole time you were apparently just trying to kill us all anyways. Then again- you never actually stopped me from being a lazy fuck, either. Like- you didn’t care either way. True apathy.”

Shrugging, and leaning away from the computer, “No, suppose I didn’t. That was to your favour, I think.”

“Sure was. Ohp- you done?”

“Yes. Go ahead and close the door.” So, he does. No Heartless came through, having known of Radiant Garden’s defenses, and the nobodies on the other side. No delicious hearts are worth that. “There, Ansem. More information than you will ever know what to do with,” he stands, stretching out his arms, and yawning-

Ansem places a hand on his shoulder, re-sitting him down. “Alright, stay here.”

“Aw.”

Demyx raises an eyebrow, “Uh, what?”

“To the aforementioned story of my existence- my new heart and my old one do not share my body well. I grow tired quickly and violently,” he’s slowly melting into the computer chair, brain fried from the coding cacophony he’d been dealing with earlier. “I’m sorry I can’t help you at this very second like I’d rather.”

“I mean, what’s one more day-“

“Come back later. We’ll talk about it more.”

“Ouh- o… okay, I will.”

“No really, Demyx,” he slowly looks to him, eyes soft. “Later. Come back, and we’ll start dealing with this.”

Softly, “Yeah, yeah. I think I’ll just stay around town, then,” he shrugs, heading towards the door, “If you don’t care.”

Ansem nods, “It is fine. This world is yours as well, now.”

Exhaling a laugh as he leaves, “Yeah, alright buddy.”

To his word, Nexahs actually ventures outside after some hours of nap later, because he’s told Demyx is out there, and he isn’t going to let him avoid this. The unfortunateness is that when he does find him- he’s with Isa. The two of them are leaning over a railing, looking over the expanse of dead terrain- or, was dead terrain. Like Ansem had said, the residents have been moving considerably into it. Neither of them is talking, just eating ice cream, and enjoying a moment of quiet solitude. Didn’t they dislike each other back then? On account of Saix being his enforcer, and Demyx being a lazy bastard. But from behind, just seeing them, they almost look like long friends.

They don’t react as he walks up, likely assuming he’s just some random pedestrian, “Avoiding me?”

The question technically could be for either, but Isa only coldly looks over his shoulder to the interloper, while Demyx responds, “Ouh- no! I was going to come find you- I was just, y’know… I found Saix- er, sorry, Isa, and he wanted to take a walk, and then we were heeeeere,” he looks over to Isa, who looks unimpressed- but he always looks like that, doesn’t he. Would we know anymore? Nexahs feels a bit of a pit in his stomach, but it’s not half as bad as it was the first time. Is it because no Axel? Or is it because he’s actually getting better at dealing with his emotions?

“Well, apologies then, I got bored and came for you myself.”

“Is it safe for you to be outside?” Isa finally speaks, looking back over the horizon.

“I’m not interested in fighting anyone.”

“Perhaps I meant for your health.”

“What a callous situation for you to put me in,” he just, does not manage to hold back his snark, “Neither answer I would’ve given you would’ve been correct, so I chose the least selfish.”

To Isa’s credit, he sighs, “Yes- alright, I’m sorry. I’m not meaning to be…mad.”

“But you are. Go _home_ , Isa. Your friends don’t want to be here.”

“I’m not making them stay-“

“And I’m not making _you_ stay,” he gestures wide with a hand, still annoyed.

Rolling his eyes, Isa pushes off from his lean, simply walking away from the situation. He wants to start a conversation with him not on a sour foot- and he fucked it up immediately, and thus, he will try again later. Nexahs watches him go- and then flicks his gaze back to a very nervous looking Demyx.

“You two used to like each other… I mean, as much as a nobody like yourself enjoyed anyone.”

Humming, “He was very loyal, even untill the end. It did not matter that is was perhaps for his own gains.”

“Oh yeah, completely fair. It’s just a little sad to me that like, the one person you didn’t have the most animosity for, you apparently hate now.”

Rubbing his face, Nexahs moves to the place Isa was beside Demyx, “It’s… not that, I think it’s somewhat the opposite.”

“Mmhmnn?” Kicking his feet lightly, he tilts his head over to look, a good listening boy chewing on a leftover popsicle stick.

However, Nexahs realizes he’s disinterested in talking about his weird personal problems with this probable stranger- not to mention the task at hand. “Your heart.”

Blinking at that disjointed thought, “Uh, what? What about it.”

“Where is it.”

“I… I already told you. I don’t know! I even tried to think about it more when you were sleeping. It’s a heartless somewhere- but I don’t have a clue where or what.” He shrugs wide with both hands, eyes lidding as he sighs heavily. “Apparently, I don’t want it enough, not like Even.”

“Perhaps Even’s heart was free.”

“Nah, I asked today. They had to grab the King and hunt it down to unlock it. I mean, I do think they did some ~science~ too, but I didn’t press, ‘cause I don’t know. Dealing with those guys are weird! When they were in the organization, we didn’t really see eye to eye. On account of the laziness and general attitude. So asking them for help is just. Weird!”

“Weirder than asking _Xemnas_ for help?”

“…honestly? Yes. You were like, the kingpin Nobody. And you were always talking about how you were going to get us all our hearts back, and. Even after I found out the truth, I don’t know! I kept sticking around, until it got like, way too insane, and then I went and did Even that favor…”

Blinking, “Hmn? And what was that?”

"W-wait, you don't remember?"

"Assume for most things that I don't. I've had my heart quite damaged, and in that, my memories shattered. When you remind me your betrayal occurred, I feel the inclination I might remember, but no details. Refresh for me, please?

“… o-o, ok...…uhh….mmmmm… Don’t get mad.”

“…Yes?”

“So like, at the end- me and Even got benched, right? Not dark enough, whatever, it didn’t matter. I guess I was weird and bitter about it- and then Vexen came up like, ‘ Oohohhh, Demyx, help me, you gotta take this replica and Ansem to Ienzo.”

“… Oh, huh. Just out of spite?” He doesn’t sound mad, and he isn’t. He’s just curious.

“Yeah I guess. I don’t know- I just kept getting left out constantly, and I wanted to do _something._ ”

“Replica? For who?”

“Uhhh…. Shit, I don't know. Roxas, I think, even though that didn't make sense to me. Didn't stick around to see.”

“… Oh, I see,” he nods, humming a curious tone. “Well, it’s a shame you did him such a favor, and he never really repaid you, hmn.”

“I mean, the payment was the chance to do something, right?”

“That doesn’t seem like a fair deal to me,”

“Fair or not- I took it. And now I do them little dark corridor favours,” he wiggles his fingers, tongue blepping.

“Is that why you’re brushing off the subject again.”

He startles back into places- “Ahk- I mean, man you just won’t drop it, huh.”

“Perhaps, I feel like you should suffer with me.”

“Oh, gross, you just want me to have all the weird, horrible feelings. Maybe it’s nice not to feel all the time!”

“But is it nice never to feel ever.”

A moment of silence, and he frowns, tucking up his legs and curling his arms around. Quietly, “I wouldn’t fully know, would I.”

“Ah…" He inhales a breath, sighing as he thinks how to explain his point, "Days ago now, Axel had locked my heart, leaving me in a vacant stupor much akin to being nobody. The King came to me, and offered to fix the issue- but it was ‘nicer’, being empty. Controllable. But he said I would never learn how to feel if I simply kept it locked away. That I would have to take the step in, and suffer through the bad, in order to find somewhere that’s good. It’s strange, and it can hurt. But sometimes it’s this. Staring out at the world, breathing in the cool air. Except- then you feel each breath in your lungs, the breeze sneaking past your hair. It’s quiet, and your heart tells you that’s nice, calm. Comforting. Sometimes, you get to stand nearby someone you find approachable, and that’s nice too. Sometimes you fight with an old 'friend'- and it’s not ideal, but you can remind yourself that maybe you’ll be able to enjoy each other again. I’m not trying to say I’m a personal expert on what this all feels like- I only know what it feels like to be utterly empty, and then suddenly full.”

Demyx exhales a laugh, releasing his legs, “Yeah, I…. I get what you’re getting at,” closing his eyes, he lets them gather in silence again, the far-off sounds of the town and lab behind them. “Isa said mostly the same thing. I was trying to think about it when you came up.”

“Oh. Apologies for interrupting.”

“No, it’s fine, it wasn’t working. Something about Isa was too tense to focus. You’re oddly relaxed.”

Nexahs closes his eyes as well, focusing on the loud nothingness of the moment. A weird, burning sensation in his heart. It feels like eternity, but it takes a second- a visual flash flaring before his vision. A place, he’s familiar with it, and a large, watery heartless that slinks beneath an abyssal ocean like a leviathan, surrounded by others like it, but not quite as massive. Trailing lights that shine like a beacon down its impossibly long body as it sinks further and further beneath. A thumping that presses the hearing out of his ears for that moment, beating its hearts song-

When he opens his eyes, Demyx is staring directly at him, looking very concerned. “What did you do.”

Blinking, “I… did something?”

“You did. You felt around in my head,” reaching over, Demyx gives him a light shove, “I didn’t appreciate it.”

Nexahs raises a hand to rub his face, running fingers through his hair, “Hrmm- I, I think I know where your Heartless is.”

“What- how!”

“I don’t know, how or what I did. I just felt like I’d strongly like to find it, and I did.”

“Ough, gross…. I think I see feel it now too, actually,” Demyx squints, eyes unfocused. “But- it’s a heartless. We don’t have a keyblade.”

“We know several keyblade wielders.”

“Yeah but- I’m not really interested in asking them for help.”

“Not even Axel?”

“…Eehhh… I don’t know. Do you think he’s cool enough to stop a giant heartless?”

“… Maybe not,” Nexahs exhales a laugh, he is honestly sure Axel could, but it's more fun for him to drag him behind his back. “I have a few other options…. I’ll figure this out. I don’t want to run the risk of you being destroyed by your own heart- so I’d like if you stayed here.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice. I still don’t like fighting. But like, also… y’know, if it’s dangerous, I hear you’re not really in the shape to fight, either.”

“Well, that is hopefully what the keyblade wielders are for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually fully remember how kh3 ended. I played it once in the span of a week, rushing through, because I could only use my wifes ps4 for that week. sure, I could go like, watch playthrough, but... I haven't....


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god i didn't watch dream drop before i wrote this
> 
> i have some regrets

An issue rises that Nexahs isn’t really in great standings with any keyblade wielder he knows, sans perhaps Riku and Kairi, who are indisposed off world, and he supposes the King now, who is a very busy man- not that he has the phone to call them. Roxas and Axel are a likely no go- and that leads him to….Xion. So, he leads himself also physically to her, leaving the laboratory to spy from a distance while she remains in a group with her friends, and waiting for the perfect moment to catch her alone. He might consider getting a gummiphone after this exercise in espionage- but then again, she may rightly ignore any messages he might attempt to send. Nothing beats good ol’ fashion face to face to coerce someone into helping you.

So, one afternoon, she turns a corner with ice cream in hand on her way back to her group and Nexahs is in her way. At first, she thinks stranger; he's wearing actual clothes this time, an outfit much similar to Dilan's on account of similar enough body size. An ‘oops sorry’ quietly under her breath, but she looks up and sees him, and freezes with a look of contained horror on her face.

“Xion.”

“Buh- wha, what do you want!”

He frowns, nearly amused by this. “I wanted to apologize.”

Questioningly, she squints up at him, pointing accusingly with her ice cream, “Oh, now _do_ you.”

“Indeed,” he does sound legitimate, his tone significantly softer than she'd heard him last- almost unfamiliar now, but she’s not looking convinced, “I’m sorry I attacked you the other day. It was perhaps not my best choice, but I wholly thought becoming inside the lab was vital.”

“Yeah well- now I think becoming past and away from you is vital to, so,” she starts to scoot around him, eyeing the floor.

“I’m also here because I need you to do me a favour.”

She stops, blinking up at him, confused. “…me?”

He shrugs, and nods, “Perhaps ‘need’ isn’t correct, more like ‘want’, but yes.”

“Specifically, me.”

“Indeed.”

“… _why_ specifically me.”

He hums a tone, thinking about whether he’ll admit the truth, and, well… “You’re programmed to be inclined to listen to what I say.”

That horrified expression returns, and then turns to anger, “XEMNAS- you can’t just USE me!” She barks, harsh but under her breath to avoid creating a scene.

He frowns to Xemnas, but lets it slide. “Inclined does not mean you will actually listen. You have proven this time and time again, your heart sways any encoding in favour of friendship. However- you won’t let your bias sway you in even avoiding hearing me out. If I perhaps approached Roxas or Axel, they would likely turn me down before I spoke a word. And yet, here you are, still listening. You’d like to know what I’d ask.”

Deeply frowning, she opens her mouth to retort, but closes it again when she realizes he is… sadly, correct. “I’m not really happy to hear that.”

“No, I know. This is why I told you it was something that would occur. Now, you have the forethought to fight it, if I do tell you to do something that would be considered… unappealing.”

Her rage fades, but she still looks fairly downtrodden by this. “But you’re going to ask me to do something right now.”

“Indeed. But I’m hoping you won’t find it unappealing.”

Shoving her ice cream in her face as it starts to melt, though she still has three more, a muffled, “Mnn, I’m listening.”

“I need a keyblade wielder to come off world with me to free Demyx’s heart.”

Blinking, she tilts her head incredulously at this request. “What? Why _ME_.”

“I already told you. No one else who uses a keyblade, but is on this world, would hear me out.”

“You probably didn’t even try,” she sneers, chomping at the end of her ice cream.

“I didn’t feel like I needed to. Alternatively, I’m intimately familiar with your strength, and prefer to have you on my side.”

Sighing, “Do you know where his heartless even is? Isa made it seem like he didn’t.”

“Yes, I did find it.”

“… _How_.”

“Ahh… I don’t actually know that part,” he squints, thinking over it. Nope, no good ideas so far. Maybe residual from when ‘Ansem’ controlled them? Seems plausible.

“Then how are you sure you know.”

“I’m…. good like that?”

Roxas turns the corner, spotting Nexahs, and meets up with them in a hurry, “Welp! I thought you were taking too long,” he snags an ice cream from her, and none-too-casually places himself between Xion and Nexahs, his friendly expression fading as stares up at him.

“Hello Roxas. I was just apologizing to Xion for the other day.”

“Yeah? And what about Isa?”

“He hasn’t been interested in speaking with me without anger, so I haven’t had the opportunity. Does Axel plan on apologizing to me for locking my heart?” He can’t help but give back some of the unwarranted sass he’s receiving.

Squinting, “He wouldn’t have had to if you didn’t immediately start shit.”

“Roxas- if I asked you to do me a favor, would you hear me out?”

Sneering, “No.” Slowly, Nexahs’ duo-toned eyes fall to Xion behind, and she startles, staring down to the ground. Catching this, Roxas looks behind to Xion, and then forwards again- frustrated, “Did you ask her to do something?”

Quickly, “N- no! He didn’t ask me to do anything, he just apologized, and we were talking. It's fine, really Roxas,” she places hands on his shoulders and starts to push him around Nexahs, who stands and allows this to occur. “Axel and Isa are going to wonder where we are- Xe- uh.. What was it?”

“Nexahs.”

“We’ll talk more later, ok?” She quietly spills out, despite Roxas’ complaints, and continues shoving until they’re completely around the corner and away. Just before they leave, “Please talk to Isa when you can!”

The next time they meet, a few hours later, Xion actively searches him out in the laboratory herself, after shaking off the rest of her group needing a little ‘quiet alone time’- Roxas hadn’t told Isa or Axel about her little talk with Nexahs, but is aware what she’s off to do. While concerned, however, he does not follow her. She’s a big girl, she can figure out her life. She can come to them if ‘Xemnas’ is trying to abuse some relationship they might still have.

He’s sitting outside on a roof with four sorcerers and he’s not expecting to be interrupted, so when a tiny voice peeps nervously at the sight of his large nobody entourage, Nexahs looks behind to spot Xion making her way over across the rooftop. “I heard the nobodies were just hanging out now- it’s a little different to see! They don’t seem to like being in the city proper….”

He hums, and nods, “They’re nervous of the people there. They don’t want even an accidental fight.”

“Yeah, yeah… I bet a lot of people don’t know the difference between them and the Heartless.” She gives one sorcerer a tiny bow as it nods in agreement to her statement. “Alright, so. Demyx’s heart.”

“It’s in an ocean, in a protected world, but not an untouched world. If we do it right, no one will know, but I haven’t personally been there, I believe Luxord had? So it will be up to us, or rather just me, to figure out how to proceed ‘safely’.”

She exhales a laugh, “How are we supposed to fight something that’s in an ocean.”

“Sora has. Think about it.”

So, she does, closing her eyes and remembering her copied memories. “Mnn… He had a tail, like a mermaid. I don’t think that counts,” looking down at herself, her eyes grow dull and vision blurs as old visualization clouds her focus momentarily, looking down at the body that is not hers as the memory blinks into her gaze. Not to last, however, and she blinks to refocus to Nexahs.

“Mnn, suppose not. It’s less hard than you’d think, you can use magic to keep air with you, or, we can commandeer a ship.”

“You know, it’s flattering that you think just us two can fight a sea monster, but this seems needlessly awkward.”

He shrugs, “Sora did worse, with just him and his two cohorts.”

“Yeah well, I’m not Sora, and Sora also beat up _you_.”

He shrugs, and nods, “This is very true. How about I am just very much aware of _your_ strength.”

She sighs, exaggeratedly, and sits down beside him, staring across the darkening sky, the sun barely fully set and spreading an encompassing red across the open field beside the lab. “That’s not comforting to hear, you know. It’s hard to forget what you did to me- up to and too including, well. Creating me.”

Tilting his head, “This isn’t about telling you to owe me your life.” This isn’t the conversation he’s expecting to have, but he also won’t demonize her for wanting to have it. Better than Isa, who is attempting to ignore his problems.

“A part of me feels like I should. Twice even, you decided to ‘make’ me,” she sighs, again, setting her chin in palms, legs crossing.

Slowly, he lets out a quiet laugh or two, “I don’t know why I did the second time, you know.”

Blinking, her eyes glance at him sidelong, “Mmnn?”

“I know you wouldn’t stay ‘dark’. But suppose we needed ‘heads’. I wanted to apologize for that, too.”

“… Well, like I said. I guess I owe it to you for giving me another shot. Even if I immediately fucked it up for you again.”

“Well, in the end, it didn’t matter. You did fulfill your task. And after that- you being set free was of no importance.”

“Was I supposed to copy Sora again?”

“At first, but you know how the situation kept changing. You were made to be very malleable. You do have a copy of his memories- but instead, we focused on making you a viable warrior of yourself, rather than of one single someone else. You know well- you can copy most anyone, now.”

Frowning, she nods, “So then why ‘me’.”

“I already had your schematics on hand, and we were on a time limit. It is harder to get a replica functioning without a heart or memories to guide it- and I knew your heart was out there somewhere. The bet I took was that I could fuel it in darkness before your friendship swayed the favor. And it did work.”

“Yeah…yeah it did.”

“You don’t have to thank me for choosing you, or freeing you, or anything. I hate to have to be the one that tells you this. You don’t have to forgive anyone who hurt you- not me, not anyone else,” he chooses his words very particularly, looking down to her and her compact form, legs curled up to her chest with arms wrapped around. “Even when they apologize.”

“Yeah, I… I know, but. It’s not as easy as you’re making it sound. When you have friends- you’re inclined to like… go along with the things they say or do. I mean, this is why I’m giving _you_ a chance. King Mickey asked me too. And you’re not being the worst person to deal with right now, but…”

“But you’re still upset about it. You would’ve rather I fade to darkness so you might avoid thinking about your past, and your fate now.”

“…yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

Exhaling a laugh, “I can’t really control that part. If I feel sorry, I’m just going to feel sorry.”

“Emotions sure can be like that. It is nice for us that you are giving things a chance.”

“I like to pretend I’m a nice person,” she sticks out her tongue a moment, “Why I’m helping you in the first place. ‘Cause technically, I’m helping Demyx.”

“Did you like him?”

“I didn’t hate him. I don’t think he deserves to still be a nobody. He deserves his heart.” She nods to her resolve, unfolding her legs. “Out of all the people who got their hearts back, it’s sad that he apparently wasn’t chosen.”

“Well, we can, perhaps, rectify this. If you think we need help, you’re more likely to get on your friends’ good side than I am.”

“Ahh… mnn. I don’t think Roxas will. When Isa was talking about it, he really didn’t seem to care. And I don’t want to ask Isa. Axel might, but I’m not sure he’s comfortable around you either.”

“That’s fair. I’m also not completely sure my subconscious doesn’t want to fight him.”

She scoffs, “Really? Why do you want to fight him?”

“He was a traitor.”

“Buh- _I_ was a traitor- so was Roxas!”

“True. Can you keep a secret?” He looks down at her sidelong, an eyebrow raised.

“….uh… Ok.”

“For sure?”

She nods, humming an affirmative 'mn!', eyebrows furrowed as she stares up at him. 

“I’m jealous that Axel is friends with Isa now.”

“…wuh.”

“Saix was near literally my right hand beside Xigbar. Completely loyal, entirely until the end. Now he wants nothing to do with me. It’s…. sad, to me. But he, also, isn’t obligated to like me. He probably never did ‘like’ me, we were just often near and speaking to one another- I think I tricked my heart into thinking we were friends.”

Xion doesn’t expect how sad Nexahs looks in his confession, frowning deeply. “Oh. I mean…. Ok so like, still secrets,” she gestures with her hands, settling them onto her knees.

“Alright?”

“He really wants to talk to you too. We’ve been staying in Radiant Garden because he really wants to figure it out between you two. Axel just keeps saying they’re just enjoying their home town, but like. Me and Roxas aren’t stupid.”

“But he still becomes irritable when he sees me.”

“You did attack him.”

“True.”

“I think he just doesn’t know what to feel about you either. Would... would you be friends with him if he wanted?”

“I'd like to think I'd like to be. We were familiar because we have similar personalities- focused, goal driven. I think even now, as very different somebodies than we were nobodies, we could still at least be on common terms.”

“This is going to be really hard to keep secret. Because I want to go home, but apparently we can’t until Isa deals with you.”

“Friendship comes with terms like that sometimes. I will do what I can to speak with Isa and get you back home where you’d rather be.”

“Soon- soon you will also be held to these obligations you may not necessarily agree with! If you plan to make friends like you say you want to."

“I mean, I’m going out to find Demyx’s heart, and I’m not doing it because I’d particularly like to.”

“I’m kinda impressed you like Demyx.”

“Like you said- I don’t feel like this fate is exactly deserved. He was lazy and timid, but he wasn’t… Well. He deserves a heart more than _I_ do.”

“I wasn’t going to say it out loud myself, but because you mentioned it…”

He laughs, and Xion doesn’t know what to do with a ‘Xemnas’ that looks genuinely, non-maliciously amused. Looking down at her, he’s getting used to the shocked responses, “I do have a heart, though, don’t I.”

“Sure looks like it. I know we all pretended to back then- well. Alright, everyone but you, really. Kinda just makes it starker of a difference. Not only do you have your heart, it doesn’t seem like you’re shrouded in darkness anymore… Still a bit of darkness, though.”

“So it seems. I can only hope this time around, I can manage to keep it from consuming me.”

“Well, then don’t let anyone else’s animosity to you get the better of you, alright? including mine."

“Indeed. I think I’m doing just fine. Also, I’m no longer allowed to do science.”

Snrking, “Oh? I guess like you said, the last time you did science it, uh.. what did you say? Ended poorly?”

“Very poorly. Perhaps second try will be the charm with me," adjusting his posture, he rubs palms on legs, preparing to stand, "Well, to the task at hand- I’m still planning on how to obtain a gummi ship to fly, and if I can manage to find a third or more party member, so I’ll have to keep you posted. Somehow. Because I don’t have a phone. If you want to head back, I’ll contact you when I have things prepared.”

She sighs, still frustrated about something, and he tilts his head towards her curiously. “Can I ask you some more questions about like. Me.”

“Of course.”

“This body is… different, then the first one.”

“Indeed. It’s much, much better.”

“Define ‘better’,” she mumbles, side-eyeing him.

“Better energy reserves, more uploaded combat memories from more sources than just Sora, that ability to copy anyone that I had mentioned. It’s much more efficient at being a weapon.” He stops himself, blinking, and looking down at her something akin to sheepishness, “I mean… I guess that isn’t actually appealing to everyone.”

Chin in her palms, “No, it is not.”

A moment of silence as he thinks about the causes of her question and frustration. “You have pent up energy.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s it. I kinda wonder if it’s why I feel so frustrated all the time now.”

“That is more than likely. Do you want to fight it out?” He gives her a curious look, understanding exactly the feeling.

Raising a brow, she looks at him scathingly, “You, me? Fight?”

“Why not? You are mad at me.”

“I mean- not like….that…  Maybe a little like that. Won’t you just kick my ass, anyways,” she pouts, lips pursing.

“No, I don’t think I would.”

“Is that because you’re still hurting.”

“A little. Ultimately, I also think you are severely underestimating yourself.”

“Oh yeah? Then how come you got the better of me last time.”

“Emotional distress not pointed in the correct direction.”

Sighing, she grumbles, “We’d both get in trouble if we tried to fight…. Even if it was just for, ‘fun’.”

“Mnn, maybe. But probably not as much as you might think. There’s a big open field out there,” he gestures to the dark, open expanse ahead of them. “If we did it now, no one would notice.”

“Why do _you_ want to fight so badly?”

“I also have more energy that I wish I did.”

“You were stumbling like, a day ago. Today, even.”

“The stumbling is more complicated than you think. My body is full of energy- but it’s like the cabling is loose. Always falling out of the plug.”

“Oh, I guess? That makes sense? Just like. A friendly spar, right,” her gaze falls to the field, arms unfolding, an excited lilt to her tone.

“As much a friend spar as two people such as us can manage.”

“I mean, it would be a good judge, like, to see how on my game I still am… ‘cause you could be wrong, and then you won't want me to help you fight Demyx's heartless.”

“I doubt that I’m wrong- but I also doubted I would exist again, and yet here we are,” he hefts his weight to standing, inviting her with him, and she takes his hand, sighing.

“I’m going to regret this later. I’m not just doing this because you asked, right?”

“I don’t think so. But only you can be the judge of that. Do you really think you’ll enjoy fighting me?”

“… I do kinda wanna punch you in the face.”

“Did you want to do that before I asked?”

Quietly, “…yes.”

He smiles softly, and nods, heading towards the window they’d snuck out on, “Well, the night is young. What of your friends, hmn? Think they’ll be looking for you?”

“Since the sun is well set now, I’m going to say ‘yeah probably’,” she pulls out her phone, nodding. “Hey, you said you don’t have a phone?”

“Not yet.”

“You should get one if we’re going to be planning any off-world heists. Now that we’ve talked, I’m about ready to leave Isa here and go home without him.”

She messages Roxas that she’s going to stay the night at the lab, she’d ‘got in a conversation with Ansem’ about something and it was ‘interesting enough to be worth staying’. Also fairly certain he will not believe her, she’s prepared to be interrupted anyway, so they make their way far into the barren lands, nearly to the decrepit tower of Maleficent’s. Nexahs isn’t too concerned she’s there- but if she is, he’s extremely confident that between himself and Xion, there will be no competition.

It’s too dark for her to comfortably see, which already puts Nexahs a leg up on her- the night is still where he finds himself most comfortable, although only one eye is really interested in becoming used to the low light, and that’s disjointing. Across from each other, he speaks, “Ground rules?”

“…Uhhh… I don’t know if ‘no weapons’ would be satisfying.”

“No, I’m fairly certain you want to whack me with that keyblade of yours.”

“But equally I don’t know if I feel like getting burned by lazers… Whatever, I’ll just be, quicker than you,” she shakes a fist, summoning a bit of confidence.

“That’s the spirit. I also have not summoned the nothingness since before my death and revival- I’m not sure I.. can. We’ll see. If I don’t manage to draw a weapon, may I politely ask you to be gentler in your whacking. First to submit loses?”

“Alright,” she nods, summoning her kingdom key which may or may not be fake I am informed.(I’ve been implying it’s real now, anyways. Xion deserves to be a keyblade wielder.)

In turn, he also nods, closing his eyes for a moment of focus- and to his credit, those familiar crimson energy blades form from his hands, albeit with more strain than he’d prefer. She swallows roughly but accepts that it wouldn’t have been fair or gratifying if he hadn’t. He takes his stance, staring her down, but allowing her to take the first move. “Try not to get carried away- but it will take significant effort to make me submit.”

She scoffs, smiling, “I’ll put in the effort.”

Taking advantage of his offering, she lunges forward, but she’s starting off small; Nexahs deflects the easily read attacks, each hit of the keyblade sparking from his ethereal blades. He steps back as she pushes forwards, leading her along with him as he dodges and deflects effortlessly. When he feels he’s received enough of these aimless whacks, he ups the ante for her and suddenly, forcefully presses forwards back against her instead- with a squeak, Xion does manage to reflect, but didn’t necessarily expect the change of pace. A part of her was still hoping this to be a tame little interlude, but to his credit, he is offering a real, genuine fight. Then again- that makes her nervous to lose, and the moment those nerves catch her, she catches a blow as well, red hot blades searing into the skin of her arm. Instinctively, she rolls out of the way in a heartbeat, but Nexahs does not let her up. Pressed into the corner of this assault, she blocks the next few hits, a battle instinct taking over her mind. Distantly, she knows if she ‘submits’, he will stop, but her mind can not help but comprehend this as a battle for her life. It’s ‘Xemnas’, why else would he be fighting her.

That helps her speed up the pace significantly, and Nexahs sees the piece of her he wanted to; that programmed, fighting instinct he’d forced in her small frame. He’s not _trying_ to remember it fondly- but he is a man of science at heart, and he really does love watching his experiments flourish. Perhaps, in ways now that were completely unintended- but just as interesting to watch. Soon enough, she’s legitimately giving him a run for his money, fueled by pain from the few hits he had gotten in; now he’s the one who will be wearing some bruising in the morning. It’s turning out for him that his heart and body equally enjoy this, there are no connection issues to dissuade him. However, between his desire to fight and her desire to survive, things are beginning to… escalate. Flashes of magic alight the night air around them, the ground beneath them scorching as Nexahs drags and catches himself with a blade. He even finds himself rising some of ‘Ansem’s’ magic, though there is no ‘guardian’ to assist him, strings of lightning cross the floor in an unavoidable line- she screeches when she takes the hit of that, but it does not slow her down. Instead, she finds herself bolstered through the pain, returning the favor with a thundaga to burn him down a peg.

He’s having fun- but there’s that feeling that Xion actually isn’t. She’s just more frustrated now, frustrated that she can’t beat him, frustrated that this isn’t alleviating her feelings. He’s slowing down now- but not because he’s necessarily tired, but because if this isn’t fun, it isn’t worth keeping up. He knows he said he would not submit without effort, but he catches an attack up face to face, blades locked, looking down at her, “Are you done?” It comes out a lot more callous that he was hoping it would, but he’s winded.

Snarling, “You said I was strong.”

“You are. You’ve very much proven this-“

“Then why are you _still standing_?”

Frowning, “You’re not trying hard enough,” Nexahs, no, that’s not how to WORD that.

Enraged, she pulls back for one hard, solid hit, sparks flying off his blades, his knees buckling under the strain. “I am trying my HARDEST to BEAT YOU.”

Holding her there, “I know that you aren’t.”

“What do you want me to do! Try to kill you?”

“See? You are holding back,” he smiles, nervously humoured. Which comes out maliciously. He doesn’t know how to display his emotions.

“I can’t _kill you_ , Nexahs.”

“But this is how you would ‘beat’ me. In a way you think you want to.”

“What makes you think **_you_** know what I want? **I! don’t! know! what! I! want!** ” Projecting through each word, she rears back, striking down at him, slowly breaking this low-effort defense, until to his legitimate surprise, the blade snaps, and he receives keyblade to face. He equally expects her to stop after the first one- but sure enough, he’s gotten her enraged, and she gets three solid whacks to his face in before he can figure out how to get hands in the way instead. Rearing backward, he attempts to yank the keyblade out of her hands- but she is firmly attached, and even pulls back on him instead. Inconvenient.

Straining now from the several compacted blows to the head, “You aren’t enjoying yourself.”

“No, no I’m _not!_ ”

“Then submit.”

Violently attempting to tug her weapon out of his hands, _“YOU SUBMIT.”_

“I told you I wouldn’t unless you earned it,” and she’s admittedly very close to earning it. Frothing in rage, he spots a bit in her he’s less a fan of, realizing something she’s been trying to figure out this whole time, and replies to that quietly, “You’re not dark at heart, Xion. You know you’re not. You don’t need to try to use the darkness to fight me, and you didn’t need me to tell you that.” She backs off slightly to his words, still holding the pressure enough he’s struggling to release her, but less like she’s about to rip her blade from his hands and continue beating the shit out of him.

Unfortunately, a satisfying conclusion of this fight is not to be. In the corner of his eye, he spots an interloper, one white hellfire that streaks across the terrain towards them, sending dust flying. Nexahs is too busy holding back Xion to properly react to Roxas, so like he continues to end up doing, he takes the hit. However, Roxas is not pulling punches, and isn’t tired, so Nexahs goes absolutely fucking flying, careening head first into dirt with a dull thunk and a muffled ‘FUCK’

“Wuh-UH WUH WAIT,” she yelps in response, snagging Roxas before he can continue his assault, “WE WERE P-…PLAYING.” That isn’t the word she wanted to use, but it’s the word that came out of her mouth.

Snagged up by the hood of his jacket, he stumbles, spiked with adrenaline, “P-, playing?! Xion, what the hell! We see sparks and shit flying around in the darkness, I KNEW you were lying about-“

“Ok just wait a minute here!” She tugs him back further, placing herself between Roxas and Nexahs, who is laying prone face down in the dirt a few meters away. “Yeah no- it was more like…sparring. I’m sorry! He just, offered, and I….” she buries her face in her hands, whining under her breath.

“Xion,” he immediately balks to that, looking her over with concern as the adrenaline wears down, “I don’t understand.”

Rolling over onto his back so he can speak, but definitely still injured on the ground, hoarsely replying, “It’s as simple as that. She and myself were feeling… feisty, and I offered her a fight she would actually manage to burn some energy off with.”

Looking her over, “Xion, you’re _burned._ ”

“I mean, you know he fights with _lazer hands,_ ” she mumbles, running a hand over the several scores on her bicep and forearm from misplaced blocks.

“Why would a ‘friendly’ fight involve using your weapons!” He barks at Nexahs, visually noting his injuries as well, but Xion replies,

“We were both fighting with weapons! It… I don’t know, it wouldn’t have felt satisfying!” Muffled in her palms again, “I mean it wasn’t anyways….”

Having finally caught up, Axel and Isa judge the situation as it is, Roxas having apparently ended it. “Whoa! He’s _dead,_ ” Axel teases to Nexahs laying on the floor.

“Oh, maybe one day,” he hums back, humored.

Isa retorts, “Explain yourself,” commanding explanation from his old commander.

“Oh, again? We were… What did you call it, Xion? Play fighting,” still laying on his back, feeling his injuries, he gestures with a hand as he speaks. Tasting blood in the back of his throat.

She can’t seem to get her face out of her hands now, still muffled, “Yeah.”

“We could see it from the town. Didn’t seem very friendly,” Isa sighs.

“Well, suppose me and Xion are a bit flashier than your average combatant.”

With an eyebrow raised, Isa almost seems amused. “Is this why you tried to fight me?”

“Aaahh….no… Maybe a little? I don’t actually have a completely accurate answer to give you.”

Roxas and Axel are busy fussing over Xion, though it doesn’t take long for Roxas to have the forethought to cast curaga for her various wounds. Shrugging afterward, “S-see? Nothing to worry about- it’s fine! We’re fine.”

Eyebrows furrow, Axel gives her a frown, quietly, “What is with you and going off and getting yourself beat up,” which he receives a shove for the audacity of joking about that.

Isa is over by Nexahs now, and interjects, “I mean, it’s not like she didn’t give him a run of it.”

His nose is actively bleeding now, and it doesn’t help when he lays on his back. A few pained coughs, and Nexahs sits upwards, delicately holding his nose as the blood goes forwards out of it rather than down his throat, “Let my guard down for a second and she went for my face, more than once.”

“You asked for it,” she snaps back at him.

“Almost explicitly.”

“… Does this count as submitting.”

“I feel like it’s a forfeit on account of outside interference. We’ll just have to settle the score later.” Looking over to him, she shakes her fist, and then straightens, approaching with her keyblade out. Staring up at her, and a moment to Isa, “This isn’t later at all,” but she’s just offering a heal. Not often the subject of curaga, it’s an interesting feeling, wiping the remnant blood off his lip. He wonders but doesn’t get to ask if she’d literally just copied that from Roxas. “Oh, well that works, thank you.”

“It was a ‘play’ fight, right? No harm, no foul.”

“You’ll have to be the judge of that, I can not say play anything is part of my common behavior.” No one here knows about the ‘bathroom shower’ incident. Well there, now she looks like she’s enjoying herself again. Suppose that means part of that was satisfying, so he’s satisfied. Glancing over to Isa while still sitting in the dirt, the standing man offers a hand to hoist him up.

“Alright, up we go. And back we go- we have to tell some people that there wasn’t death occurring out here.”

“Did it look that bad?” he tilts his head, looking to Roxas and Axel, who nod enthusiastically. “Apologies. I was even the one to preface we shouldn’t get carried away. Ultimately, however, knowing both of our strength, suppose it was inevitable. We’ll find somewhere more fitting to fight next time.”

“Or you could not fight at all,” Roxas butts in, frowning.

Xion argues that, “Well, It’s not quite that simple…”

“I feel like it’s really simple.”

Rubbing her face, “No, it _is_ more complicated than you think.”

“Then explain it to me.”

Deep frowning, her eyes fall to the floor, arms folding over her chest. “I… I mean…” Slowly, she looks back to Nexahs. Please help father.

He doesn’t hesitate to explain when she silently asks, “She’s a weapon. She has far more energy and instinct than you. This is an efficient and safe way of managing this.”

“She’s _not_ a _weapon_ ,” Roxas takes offense to this insinuation.

“She was made a weapon. I made her, and I made her weaponized. This isn’t negotiable, this is a fact,” he speaks coldly, but Xion knows what he means, and doesn’t look as offended as her friends do. She just looks sad.

Roxas and Axel are pissed at him for his explanation, and then to Isa’s nonchalant expression, but Isa just shrugs, and nods. “No- I’m sorry to play the devils advocate on this one, Nexahs is right.”

Xion nods, “I know you guys are just trying to be nice, but he _is_ right. And it’s like, not a problem. It’s just what I am, and sort of always was.”

Roxas frowns, “… so that just means sometimes you gotta throw down?”

“I guess so.”

“I personally would approve of this more if you fought me instead.”

“No! I’d be scared about hurting you!”

“And you don’t care about hurting Nexahs?”

She very slowly looks over to him, and he stares back. Squinting, “No.” He smiles to that, exhaling a laugh.

They make their way back to the town somewhat uneventfully, when Nexahs does yawn his telling yawn, and everyone startles when two sorcerers tear in from the void, snagging him before he falls. He’d fallen a bit behind the trio, though Isa remained behind nearby, and when Nexahs fully falters, he waves off and calls Axel, Roxas and Xion to continue ahead without him, he’ll meet them up later. The trio is eager for the two of them to get to talk alone.

“And now how did you manage to beat Xion so mercilessly, and yet remain to be injured like this.”

Stumbling over his words, he walks slowly and barely of his own accord, more like being puppeted by a floating sorcerer, “Aahh… complicated. Large battery, frayed cables.”

Squinting, he’s not sure he completely understands, head tilting, “Suppose I’ll just take you home then.”

Mumbling, “But I want to talk.”

“You should talk when you're conscious.”

“Yes, but now is when you don’t seem like you’re mad at me for existing.”

Frowning, Isa sighs, “I’m not mad at you for existing.”

“Then what are you mad at me for. I’m sorry I tried to fight you before. I was confused.”

“No, I know, and that’s fine.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

“I-…” He stops their walk, looking over to Nexahs dangling there, and he looks so sad and pitiful. “We weren’t friends.”

“No, suppose we weren’t.”

“But you want me to treat you like one.”

Squinting, “…Yes. When you put it that way, it does sounds foolish.”

“Because it is.”

“Isa- I hate to point this out, but you’ve been lingering around this world for over two weeks.”

“Yes? I used to live here.”

“Your friends want to go home.”

“They can go home without me.”

“But they’re obligated to stay.”

“What makes you think you understand how friendship works,”

Scoffing, “What makes _you_ think you understand how friendship works.”

Snarking right back, “I had friends.”

“You had Lea.”

“And who did you have.”

Without thinking, he mumbles, “Eraqus.”

Blinking, there’s a moment of silence. “Who?”

“…Huh?”

“You said ‘Eraqus’, who is that.”

Nexahs blinks at well, gaze drifting. “I’m not sure.”

“You don’t remember your apparent only friend.”

“I might’ve killed him.” These memories are extremely, impossibly distant. The tiniest fragment of his memory, that perhaps aren’t even ‘his’.

“That isn’t telling.”

“You killed Axel once.”

“… That was different, I was-“

“I think I killed my friend once overcome with darkness. Same with the ‘friends’ I suppose I made as the young scientist, Xehanort. Isa- if you don’t want to be friends, if you don’t want to be around me, because I remind you of what you’ve done- you don’t have to. You can tell your heart it’s wrong, you can go home and I won’t follow. As much as I’ll miss our conversations- and I told Xion this, too, I’m not interested in fighting anyone anymore.”

Expression flat, “Except for five minutes ago.”

“That was more like playing, we’ve been over this,” a humoured lilt to his weak voice.

Sighing, silence reigns for a long moment. “The thing about having a heart, and really appreciating it, is you’re supposed to listen to the things it tells you.” Mumbling, “At least, this is what they keep telling me.”

“No- you’re supposed to listen to it and take a critical approach to its whims. Listening to my heart baselessly is why I fought you weeks ago. Listening to my heart baselessly sunk it into darkness.” Gesturing loosing with his arm, “Those who live fully in light and happiness may perhaps listen to every whim of their heart, but not us. We’re not so lucky.”

“… then how are we supposed to decide what’s right.”

Staring down at him, still held by his sorcerer, “You talk about it with someone you trust.”

“Do I trust you?”

Exhaling a laugh, “Talk to Axel about it.”

“I…have. He would rather I leave you behind.”

“Then do so?”

Quietly, “But I don’t want to.”

“There is the conundrum alright. It sounds like you’ve made your critical judgment. Now, despite you having told me you do not trust my advice, I will give it.”

“Very well.”

“Where is home?”

Blinking, his head tilts in curiosity, “I… Twilight Town, I suppose.”

" _Your_ home?”

“We’ve been living there for quite some time.”

“Is it nice there? Do you prefer it?”

A moment of silence, and quietly, “… I honestly preferred most the World that Never Was.”

He sighs, realizing his ideals behind that. “You were very comfortable being nobody.”

“It made dealing with things a lot easier,” slowly a hand raises to his scar, a finger trailing over it.

“Axel isn’t very good at grounding you and your issues with rage.”

“No.”

“But I was.”

“Yes.”

Oh boy, the root of the problem! That only took forever. “Keyword is an unfortunate ‘was’.”

“I am aware. That fact does not stop my heart from being hopeful.”

“Have you told Axel _this_ part of this.”

“Not… exactly.”

“Then do so. I feel like he will understand more than you think. More advice, my old friend?”

“Very well.”

“Let you and your friends go home. In a few weeks, ask yourself again if you’d like to see me. I’ll be here.”

A soft sigh, “Is that fair to you?”

“It’s hard to say, but it doesn’t matter. It’s the decision I’m offering you, in the wake of your own indecision.”

Isa sends Nexahs back towards the lab with his sorcerers, meeting up with his trio who had been waiting at city limits for him to return- and by the next day, the four of them have left Radiant Garden for home. Nexahs is feeling lifted, between his talk and fight with Xion, and his talk with Isa. Some things settled in his mind- which is good, because he has to focus on finding Demyx’s heart. Sure, he knows what world it's on, but the ocean there is not… small. Not to mention he’s going to have to figure out how to get off world… Would it be as simple as just asking Ansem for a gummi ship?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xion was not supposed to turn into a main character, but I read the 358/2 manga and
> 
> my GIRL


	8. Chapter 8

He’s busy staring vacantly in a hallway some days after those events, as the inhabitants of the laboratory are getting very used to seeing- and unfortunately, his mind is finding itself so disoriented afterwards despite the initial calm that he hasn’t managed any headway into Demyx’s heart situation. Thankfully enough, Demyx visits him occasionally and sees how full of holes his brain appears to be and doesn’t mind, he just hopes eventually things will get better again- Ienzo assures him they will( _even if he’s not too sure himself_ ). Today, Nexahs’ mind is so far gone as he stares into nothingness, he makes no mental note of being approached, someone standing directly in front of him, waving a hand in front of his eyes, a familiar voice, “Ahhh…. Buddy? You doing ok?”

His eyes refocus slowly, blinking, a shake of his head before looking down- “Oh! Riku!” He can’t stifle his gut response that is ‘very pleased’ to see him, albeit a bit confused. Where are we again? Radiant Garden, yes? How is Riku here?

Riku is equally confused- in part by his standing there, and in part the excited response, “Yeah man, I heard some stories about what you’d been up to since you got here, thought I’d come by to… check, I guess…. Uhh… Are you ok?”

Blinking, a quiet confused lilt to his voice, “Yes, what for?”

“… You were standing in the hallway for a good… five minutes before I came up. Think you might’ve been here for longer.”

Looking around, and looking a bit sheepish, “Ah, yes. That does occur recently. Something something, cables…. Disjointed…” Riku watches with a raised brow as his mind wanders right in front of him, gaze drifting to the side.

“Lets… go sit down.”

Slowly, he nods, and Riku snags a hand to drag him away. “My apologies. And how are you, hmn?”

“Still living on the islands, relaxing, or… attempting to be relaxed.”

“Is Holly well? And Kairi?”

“Yeahp, just living the peaceful life. Sometimes those nobodies show up- and Holly has them working, doing deliveries or helping build and repair after storms.”

“I haven’t forgotten what I said before I left, even if I seem distracted now.” Turning a corner, Riku finds a room with chairs and tables, unused, for them to sit in for the moment. Nexahs is more than eager to sit, reversing so that ‘back’ is in front, and plops himself down, still giving Riku a curious and excited expression. Him being here was extremely advantageous- because if he isn’t feeling completely up to par to fight this leviathan heartless, perhaps Riku is. And Riku likes helping- Nexahs thinks, at least.

“Oh yeah? I’d like to say I’m hopeful about that- but you don’t seem to even know where your _own_ head is.”

“I’m definitely having trouble with focus,” he hums, raising a hand to rub at his eyes, frustrated with his minds fog. “I mean to ask you for a favour, now that you’re here.”

“Yeah? Like what.” Riku settles down in his own chair, though he sits in it properly. He gives Nexahs a soft expression as he asks what he will, worried for his health but interested in what he has to say.

“I mean, I do already have Xion, so don’t feel obligated or required to do this for me. To make a long story short- it’s been neglected to find Demyx’s old heart, that being one of my old organization nobodies, and so I feel required to find and fix that issue. However, it is a very strong heart, and I’m not sure Xion and I can do it ourselves. I was going to ask perhaps Dilan, but if you’re here… Suppose I have preference. Then again- you said you’re attempting to relax,” he mumbles near the end, after spilling out the rest of his sentence.

Exhaling a laugh, “Demyx? I’m trying to remember who that is…”

“Ahh… Sitar. Water. Scaredy cat.”

“I feel like I remember Sora mentioning him, and that he was ‘a pain to deal with’.”

“He’s likely an ok guy. I mean… as nice as anyone in my organizations were. He helped Even bring Ansem back to the lab- and a body for Roxas.”

Perking to that, “Oh, that’s much nicer to hear. It’s a shame it’s the first time I’ve heard it, though- I mean, I knew a replica body was made for Roxas, but I didn’t know a Demyx had helped.”

“He dropped them off and vanished to avoid any kind of backlash for his treachery to me.”

“Well, if I’m going to be honest with you, Nexahs was it?” He nods, happy to hear someone had informed Riku of his name, “I can’t say I’m not eager to, stretch my legs, so to speak. Island life is… really dull,” he leans back, arms behind his head. “And if it’s something like saving someone’s heart, then I’d definitely like to help.”

“It would be a massive help to have three instead of two, no matter how much I know the strength between me and Xion. Admittedly I’m also feeling ‘under the weather’ myself,” he rasps near the end of that sentence, catching himself in a yawn.

“I can’t say I know much about Xion, at least not ‘this’ Xion. I think we might’ve known each other ‘before’, but some memories are missing from my mind. Just feelings, now,” he sighs, “I guess this will be an opportunity to talk about it with her? When we had our little ‘victory’ party on the islands, she was being shy with Namine.”

“Ah yes, I do remember you meddling in those old affairs. Unfortunately, or rather ‘fortunately’, she became friends with her other half, Roxas, and Axel for added effect, and they all somewhat produced hearts or piece of new hearts from fond memories of each other- her going so fully for that that she’s her own real somebody now. I think, at least- I’ve been banned from science, and neither of them want me or anyone else to poke around with their existences, so.. It’s no harm not to know,” he shrugs. Sure, he’d like to research further, but like Ansem had said, we’re trying not to do any the ‘bad’ science anymore.

Riku exhales a laugh, “Oh good, ‘banned’ from science. I can’t say I don’t agree.”

“I equally agree this is probably for the best, even if my gut instinct is discontented by this. Nearly unrelated, but I’m assuming Kairi is not with you.”

“No, sorry, I came alone. It’s been a lot easier flying lately- since the nobody have reappeared to escort flights around.”

“Hmn, I didn’t tell them to do that,” a curious tilt of his head.

Shrugging, “Maybe it’s something to do, right? Either way- do you think you want to ask Kairi for help too? I’m sure she would.”

Frowning, “Well, I’d have to leave that up to your judgment. If she would rather stay home, she probably can.”

“Well, tell me a bit more about this heartless we’re fighting, if you know.”

“I do. It’s large, and has many ‘friends’, living in a world with a vast ocean that has been actively visited and connected- but not the one with mermaids.”

Squinting, he tries to think about it, “Aahhh.. is it the one with pirates?”

“Yes, that is the one.”

“Ah… damn, Sora really liked that place,” momentarily, his gaze adverts to the ground, a sigh escaping him, though the sad expression doesn’t last- Nexahs’ makes a mental note about that, though. “I’m not sure how we’ll fight something in the water.”

“Well, swim, perhaps. Or, stealing a ship. Luxord told me of how things work there, it’s a very ‘ship’ based environment.”

“I don’t know if ‘stealing’ a ship is what I would prefer.”

“Would you believe me if I said that is sort of how things work there?”

“Yeah, I know that is, hence the ‘pirates’, but…”

“Alternatively, it’s not hard to… ‘make’, a ship, now that you’ve reminded me the nobody have them,” he hums, tapping his chin in thought.

“… Would a nobody gummiship convert into something like a… water.. ship?...boat?”

“I’m fairly certain it could. Luxord made boats out of heartless.”

“…. Which one was Luxord?”

“Playing cards, gambling. I’ve been told he’s ‘somebody’ again, but not around here, so I can’t ask for clarification.”

Riku nods, “Oh yeah, _that_ guy. Would he even help if we asked, haa…”

“He might? He was very, neutral, I found. He just wanted to play some games… with some vital consequences, sometimes... a dramatic fellow.”

“Nobody ship is probably our best bet, then. We can bring some to help us fight too, couldn’t we?”

“I’m hesitant to bring them, they don’t find destruction especially pleasant, even if they generally return afterwards.”

“Isn’t destruction their only chance at reconnecting with their hearts?”

Nexahs thinks a moment, eyes listing off to the side. “… Yes, that somewhat is correct.”

“I know it seems callous- but if they come back anyways, or they find their heart.. I’m not saying to get them beat up on purpose, but it definitely helps in the numbers.”

Nexahs nods in agreement, even though he’s still frowning. “A shame, I’m also aware they’re desperate to help, desperate to have purpose. I can hear mine warbling in the back of my mind.”

Raising an eyebrow, “That’s kinda strange. How do you still control them?”

“I… I’m not sure I’m controlling them, as much as I’m just… communicating?”

“Can you still ‘communicate’ with the heartless?”

“Not if I don’t want to submerse myself in more darkness than I’d find appealing at the moment- the difference between the heartless and nobody, nobody are fueled in.. nothing. There’s neither light or darkness required to find kin with them…. Then again- I’m still not entirely sure how I managed to communicate, or whatever I’d managed to do to find Demyx’s heart in the first place. I just thought about it, and it occurred to me where it was.”

“Sounds a bit like you might be ‘Ansem’ing it up.”

“I didn’t mean too, and it didn’t feel especially ‘dark’ of me, which is why I’m remaining to be confused.”

“… Did you think you might have connected with his heart?”

Blinking, Nexahs’ head tilts again, eyes listing off to the side. “Ahh… I….maybe? I didn’t consider that. Do you know what that is like?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Riku half-lids his eyes to think about it, “It’s definitely complicated to explain.”

Squinting, “I do recall hearing a heartbeat….”

“I’m assuming that isn’t normal when speaking to heartless.”

“No, that would be quite unusual.”

“Then maybe you connected to Demyx’s heart through his body.”

“Oh. I’ve never done that before. I’ll have to apologize.”

Riku laughs to that, “What- why.”

“That seems invasive. We hardly know each other.”

“You remember Sora? You remember mocking him every time he shared his heart with every stranger he met?”

“…yes, I do remember this. Now it is me, apparently.”

“I mean, Demyx did work for you, right? At least not a complete stranger then, huh,” he shrugs, still very curious to how connected Nexahs’ apparently managed to become, but not too concerned. Just something he might mention to Mickey or Ansem. “So, when do you want to do this?”

“As soon as I can, honestly. Though, maybe a few days… Xion just went home, I’d like her to enjoy that for a bit before I drag her away again.”

“Yeah, I’d heard that Isa was giving them, and you, a hard time,” Riku was hoping he’d be able to worm his way into talking about this, “And you’d got in a fight with him. A physical fight.”

Sighing, he folds his arms under his chin, reclining forwards on the ‘back’ of the chair placed between his legs, “Yes, that was a situation that had occurred.”

“So, things didn’t go so great with him and Axel, then.”

“I mean, I didn’t expect it to go well with Axel. But no, Isa is no longer interested in being anywhere near me.”

“Was it because you beat the shit out of him.”

An exhaled laugh, “It was quite the opposite- but no, it’s that we were never… really friends. Related, Riku- why are you sitting here and listening to me prattle on about these things?”

He balks to that, mouth opening to speak, a hand raising defensively, but it shuts, and lowers, a hum in his throat. “We’ve both been inside each other’s heads, haven’t we. Or are you more ‘Xemnas’ than ‘Ansem’?”

“In memory, yes. In feeling? No. I do find myself enjoying your company, but like with most people who find themselves fond in turn around me, I continue to ask, ‘why return this baseless sentiment’.”

“Well, Isa might not be able to forgive or accept you for what you did- but I feel like I’d be a massive hypocrite if I didn’t. If anything- you’re exactly what I wished you could become, and never thought possible. Us both, so steeped in darkness- but we’re out now, huh? In the clear, right.”

“I don’t want to confirm I am ‘in the clear’, but…”

“Do you think I am?”

For a long moment, they stare at each other, Nexahs a tired vacancy, but he catches something desperately pitiful in Riku’s cheerful facade. A familiar heartbeat in his ears. “Oh.” A pause, Nexahs stares through him. “I do, though, anyways, even with that.”

“Hmn?” He raises a curious brow, that momentary sadness leaving him, “Even with what?”

“Suppose you can’t see your own face,” he sighs, looking off to the side to break the staring contest. “You are ‘in the clear’, Riku. You know that.”

“And what makes you so sure I am and you aren’t?”

“I was steeped much longer and deeper than you ever were. I can not say I’m knowing well what to do without the overwhelming darkness in me. Alternatively,” a hand raises to tap below his singular, golden eye. It’s an extremely telling tell to the darkness that yet lingers in his body.

“Oh? What’s all this then, hmn? Just sitting here, enjoying a conversation, trying to help people. I don’t know what about that concerns you.”

“You should know most everyone agrees I’m not doing these things very well.”

“Nobody can be the judge of that- or, to me at least, no one should look at what you were, see this, and assume anything but good.”

Nexah’s laughs quietly to that, eyes momentarily lidding. “I appreciate the boost to my self confidence.”

“Since you don’t seem inclined to boost your own confidence.”

“I’ve had a very rough couple of weeks.”

“And yet- you’re still here, still standing- well alright, not standing. But you’re living.”

He nods, sitting up again. “I accept your assurance, and I think I understand now where you’re coming from. Give me a few days, hmn? I’ll see about getting a ship made we can pilot, and nobody willing to run it, so that we can focus on fighting this heartless.”

Riku nods with a smile, “Can do. I’m sure I’ll learn Xion’s playstyle quick enough.”

\----

Xion had just managed to relax at home, and she’s off again. At least she’s not surprised by this- she knew she had promised to go off with Nexahs to find Demyx’s heart- the surprise is that the gummiship that shows up to pick her up is not being flown by the aforementioned. Instead, it’s Riku- a man her distant copied memories find familiar and friendly, but her own heart has no connection for. He’s that guy who told her she was fake and had to die, even if it was for a very honourable cause. He is, at least, extremely easy to get along with, and puts Roxas at ease, who was legitimately about to go with them for the only reason of making sure there wasn’t any funny business. Roxas is also ‘familiar’ with Riku, and wants to trust his judgement, but.. doesn’t. Despite fighting on the same side more recently, he remembers too well when they were _not._ His comfort equally comes from those borrowed emotions of Sora’s.

Alas, however, this very strange new trio finds themselves flying off towards a land of pirates and ocean (no homestuck intended). Alongside them, nobody ships escort them- one of which is very, ‘particularly shaped’. Nexahs was not allowed to practice the ~science~ himself, as per their terms, but through Even, Ienzo, and all his pilfered information from the World that Never Was, they convert several nobody gummiships into one that is definitely a…boat. It’s a bit too white and smooth to fit in the aesthetic of the rest of the word, but it will float in the water, and they’ll be able to fight a giant sea monster with it.

However, they’re not to arrive as unnoticed as he would have preferred. Nexahs narrows down where the heartless is by thinking about it as he had before- but it’s much harder to focus when the body is not beside him to ground his thoughts. It’s a good enough rough area at least, a wide expanse of sea in the dead of night. At first, it seems peaceful, but there’s a strange, unexplainable fog growing… Nexahs frowns in thought, wondering if this is a sign of their hunt- the water begins to ripple beneath them, roaring into violence at the side of their ill fitting ship until it froths over; suddenly from the depths of the ocean, another ship is beside them. How curious. He was unaware ships that were sunk came… up. It looks absolutely decrepit- but it is definitely floating, and now, attacking them.

It’s ramming into their side before his nobody crew can really react, so commands turn into a preparation to be boarded. Knocked on his ass from the ripple, Riku sits stunned for a moment, peering between his two cohorts, Nexahs who remains to be standing, and Xion who also stands though clung to a nearby mast. “The heartless? You said Luxord made heartless ships,” Riku heaves himself back up, keyblade forming to prepare for a fight.

Looking over to the decrepit ship- something about it didn’t seem like heartless work, but he’s never seen the ships here personally. His questions are answered, however, when an incredibly human looking man shouts over the side, “LAY DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND PREPARE TO BE BOARDED,” to which Nexahs responds with a shrug, and a nonchalant look, gesturing to offer the assumed other captain aboard beside him. The man seems to accept Nexahs offering of non-combat, leaping over the side to their smoother, pale ship. Nobodies that were running the vessel scatter below deck at the command of their leader, and only himself, Riku and Xion remain unprotected up top. “I’m getting sick and tired of seeing you and your people show up on my seas.”

“My apologies, I am to blame for this,” Nexahs steps forwards, offering the man a bow- though he receives a blade pointed tip to throat for this. “This is the last time I intend to be in your waters. I have one last thing that swims beneath that I must destroy.”

Raising a brow, the man doesn’t seem convinced. Soon enough, in the wake of the nobodies hiding, more from the unsunken ship crawl to Nexahs’ vessel, and they look… significantly less human, amalgamates of human and oceanic creatures, but not heartless, just perhaps cursed. “You are with the man in the black coat, correct?” It’s not as if Nexahs’ is in those familiar dark robes, but his current outfit is all black, and they did have a certain… ‘look’, about them, that did not ‘fit the setting’ so to say. This happened often in the travel between worlds, but curiously, most people don’t seem to ‘notice’.

“He was with me, technically- but no, not anymore. If he has caused you much trouble, I equally apologize for this.”

Sneering, weapon still pointed, “He did, ‘cause me trouble’, an understatement,” he hisses under his breath. “Leave now, while I let you. This is the only kindness I will offer for this ‘apology’ you’re offering.”

A hand slowly raises, unconcerned, brushing the tip of the blade away from his neck with the flat of his palm as he steps forwards, “Unfortunately, as I’ve stated before, I’ve… ‘left’, something, on accident here. It can not be allowed to stay. It is a monster, living here in hiding. I need its heart. Please understand why I can not accept your offer to leave unscathed. I have no interest in fighting you- but reclaiming this heart I have left is required.” His tone isn’t exactly threatening, but he is making his intention very plain and forceful, commanding.

Slowly, the man returns his weapon back its sheath at his hip, “Something like a sea serpent? A long, glowing leviathan, with many small ones that swim with it.”

He nods, slowly, “That is likely the one.”

“It is nearby- but it very rarely surfaces, and equally rarely bothers anyone… Not that I would begrudge it being gone,” he offers a hand to shake, “I’m Willam Turner, Captain of the Flying Dutchman,” he points back to the very crusty looking ship, and his crew of only semi-humanoids.

Nexahs squints, that name is distantly familiar, but not the primary antagonist Luxord dealt with. Returning the handshake, “Nexahs- and my crew behind me are Riku, and Xion,” he points to them each, and they wave back, Riku as cool and collected as Nexahs, but Xion definitely remaining to be nervous. “The man who had bothered you before was Luxord, and did work for me, but I have since turned over a new leaf, so to say, and am attempting to make amends to the harm I might have inadvertently caused.” This is only… sort of a lie. He doesn’t really care the fate of this world in the wake of him, his primary focus on Demyx’s heart. “You know where this leviathan is?”

“Beneath us, mostly. Like I said- it rarely surfaces.”

“Inconvenient. My ship, unfortunately, does not go under the water.”

“None do but mine, here.”

“I, personally, like breathing air.”

 Nexahs earns a laugh from the other man for that, Will heading towards the edge of the ship to peer down into the water, squinting down at it. “So- is your ship equipped to handle a fight with this thing? It is… bigger than this.”

“I was going to throw these two teenagers at it,” he points towards behind him; Riku looks humoured, but Xion frowns at his ‘joking’.

Will is completely nonplussed by this answer. “Excuse me- what?” Summoning his car-keyblade, Riku gives it a twirl or two to show off- though none of the trio expect the other man to look as ‘explained’ by that as he is, “Ah- it’s one of ‘those’ weapons- you’re friends of Sora then, hmn? And where is he?”

Riku tries to hide his momentary downtrodden expression, and Nexahs interjects before Will can question that, “He is current indisposed- or I assure you, he would be here to help us if he could. Both of them,” he gestures to Riku and Xion, “use those weapons, the Keyblade, and this particular creature is weakened by this. Also, my ship is equipped to fight it, despite its possibly smaller size.”

“Knowing that, I’m put more at ease to think you’ll actually beat it.” Humming, he hops up the on the edge of their ship, preparing to leap back to his own ship. “Here’s the deal, then. I’ll sink down and push it up for you. Once it’s up, you can fight it, correct?”

“That is correct- and would be very helpful of you.”

Looking over his shoulder at him, “Don’t understand me wrong, Nexahs. My aim? Get you out of my oceans. The sooner, the better.”

“As soon as I have this heart, I will be gone, with no intention of ever returning.”

“Good,” and with that, he leaps off alongside the rest of his haphazard crew.

Alone again, nobodies poke heads out doors to see the damage done, surprised at the lack of any kind of carnage. To his crew, “Oh, you think I can’t talk myself out of a situation?”

Riku exhales laugh, “Well, I was definitely surprised by how smoothly that went.”

“We’re not out of the water yet,” he hums, watching as the other ship sinks into the void below them just as suddenly as it had surfaced minutes earlier, shaking their nobody ship enough that once again they’re struggling to stand. The fog dissipates, leaving them the vacant oceans once more, “I have no idea how long it will take them to push this thing up,” he shrugs up his shoulders, thinking, “It feels quite… below, as he had said. Everyone prepare to become in the direction of it, if it is to surface from a distance.”

Perhaps the other man had herded it beneath them for their benefit, or perhaps it was beneath them due to Nexahs’ triangulation, but after around an hour, the fog returns with that frothing ocean, but far more violently this time. Nexahs _feels it_ , deep in his chest- a raging, impossible fury as it was uprooted from its hidey hole. The smaller minions of it appear first, bioluminescent eel-shaped heartless that writhe and screech at the surface. Not for long, however, as samurai and dusks bounce from their posts to the wriggling things, and deftly stabbing them to temporary inexistence.

The other ship reappears first, but all three of them peering over the side of their ship can spot the massive heartless before it surfaces; much akin to its entourage, spines down its impossibly long body glow and pulse, setting the ocean beneath them aglow in its fury. They can hear it too, garbling through the water until its head breaches, and the air become ablaze with a piercing cry of pure indignation from these events. It truly is Demyx’s heartless. Nexahs’ job is going to be driving the ship now that it’s becoming a weapon rather than a floatation device; he rushes beneath the deck to a room of operations, replacing the nobody helmsman and steering towards their hunt.

Xion still has no fucking idea how _they’re_ going to fight it, but follows well in Riku’s suite; he finds a high vantage place on a mast to take a good look at things- these smaller eel heartless that seem to be unguided, glowing tendrils connected to their heads splashing about the water as they ‘panic’- he gestures to one, barking to Xion, “Grab a hold of one of the smaller ones and ride it over to the big one. Then, we hop on the big one, and start whacking!”

“Buh- are they going to enjoy that?!”

“No, but we’re not going to give them a choice,” and with that, he hops down into the water, aiming down a blizzaga to freeze the first few steps before finding a good eel to ride. Like she’s said- no, it definitely doesn’t enjoy it, but Riku finds tendrils to hold onto to ‘steer’, and soon enough, he’s got it writhing in the direction of the big boy.

Under her breath, “Man, he made that look _easy,_ ” but she breaths in, holds it, exhales, and gets into business mode. Less elegantly than he does, she takes the icy footholds he’d made, spotting out her own wiggly worm to hop onto. Hers is feistier, or seems like that to her at least, but she manages to keep a hold and takes it for a fucking ride. Soon enough, their ship turns to follow them, speeding off towards their intended target while canons spawn at its front and sides. Nexahs is less experienced with a ship that primarily shoots while aimed diagonally, but he’s is a quick learner, and soon enough, he pelts the leviathan with laser-fire. To make its life even worse, its being assaulted on the other side as well, but the Dutchman shoots rope and hooks instead; which is good, because it doesn’t appreciate being shot, and tries to sink back beneath the water. It’s to no avail- and caught up by its binds, resigns to flinging its head violently before finally attacking, sinking its teeth into the Dutchman’s hull. Now that it’s in ‘attack’ mode, this becomes significantly more complicated, the smaller ‘eels’ growing far more violent and unhappy to be ridden- Riku looses control of his beast, splashing into the water with a yelp, but he’s quickly caught up by Xion’s as she zooms in from behind before he can be chewed on. Thankfully enough, they’re close, and they manage to control hers long enough to dispose themselves on the leviathan’s back. Riku is drenched and cold now, however, but he makes the best out of it with the adrenaline.

It isn’t making itself easy to be on, however, constantly thrashing- and it _notices_ when there’s two keyblade wielders on its back. Its head is occupied chewing holes in the Dutchman- or alternatively, being shot to shit by Nexahs and his vessel, but that doesn’t stop a whipping tail from uprooting itself from the waters to whack its back fiercely in an attempt to hit its attackers instead. Riku is a bit rusty, and freezing, but has no interest in being tail flattened, so he manages- and Xion has become encompassed in mission mode- silent and _focused_. Riku notices that complete change in demeanor, but won’t begrudge it at the moment while they’re fighting a massive heartless. Maybe somethings to question later, however. For now- it’s time to get whacking.

It’s not a long fight- but it’s a hard, and violent. Growing weary, the thrashing all but subsides, its head pitifully splashing into the water to gurgle its pain through- which unfortunately gets guards down. Riku prepares himself to unlock its heart, aiming his weapon, but one last tail swipe catches him sidelong, flinging him off into the waters once again. Xion almost moves to save him first- but this is the moment; the heartless needs to be destroyed. She’s freed many hearts before, she knows how this works- and with a flash of light and fury, the leviathan’s writhing comes to a sudden stop, and it disintegrates into the void, its heart floating off to where hearts rest.

Or at least she assumes that’s what it looks like- because without a body to stand on, she’s now in the ocean with Riku. It occurs to her she’s never… been, in the ocean before- especially not the deep, endless expanse, and suddenly, the water is over her head, failing to tread beneath her; the shock of cold stripping the oxygen from her lungs.

Just for a moment, though, and Riku has her tugged back up, and floats them on his back, “Whoops- looked like you were having some trouble there.”

She squeeks, and nods, the water is f _reezing_ , and now they’re both soaked, “I’ve never been in the ocean!” Well, not completely true, she’s been to the beach, even as ‘herself’, but that was so, so much different that really being in the entire ‘ocean’.

“No? You don’t remember it at all,” he hums, equally cold, and waiting for the ships around them to figure out their business as they float. The glowing leftover eels skitter back into the darkness of the waters with their ‘master’ destroyed.

“I mean,” she sighs, squeezing her eyes shut to think of Sora’s memories. Not that that matters- “I mean… _I_ haven’t been in the ocean… we went to the beach, but this is… This is cold!”

Shivering, “Ha- yeah, it is colder than I’m used to, even,” he spots a pale form slinking ethereally beneath the water, spine stiffening in preparation to it being a eel here to bite them- but it’s too white and not glowing- a samurai surfaces to peer at them with its beady little eyes, before circling behind them, snagging Riku by the hood of his jacket with its teeth, and wiggling back towards the ship. It uses its formless form to slink in the water effortlessly, like a snake, tugging them along as Riku lets out a laugh to the absurdity of that.

Riku had at least prepared for having at some point ending up in the water, having packed towels and recommended a furnace be built inside for them to sit beside to dry off, which the two do in shivering silence for quite some time before crawling into bed. With both of their ships in various states of disrepair, William offers them the favor of at least waiting for the next day to force them off-world, while nobodies patch holes in both ships. The Dutchman hardly seems to be affected by any damage, but it’s the thought that counts.

They’ll take this night to relax, then- although eager to return home to ‘check’ on Demyx, Nexahs knows his friends need rest. And himself, honestly. Running the ship is no easy task. Nexahs finds long sleep easily, but Riku is just restless as the ocean rocks him gently, opting instead to get some fresh air above deck- Xion never really found sleep easy, and when she spots him head up top, she waits a few minutes, but timidly goes up to join him.

She tries to be quiet, but he notices immediately, peering his pale gaze across the dimly lit boat, the white of its frame making her dark form quite visible in the moonlight, “Hmn- can’t sleep?”

“No, I don’t… I don’t really sleep a lot in general,” she admits, shrugging shoulders as she takes up a spot beside him at the aft of the ship, staring off at the starlight. The edge of the horizon just barely begins to peek hinting reds of the sun beneath the abyssal waters edge.

“Huh, is that right,” he mumbles, his mind obviously elsewhere, but he isn’t telling her to leave.

“Well- and what about you? You took a few bad hits there, I would’ve thought you’d be down and out.”

“Me?” He tilts a head just barely to give her a smirk, “I’ve been hit with a loooot worse than that- and kept going.”

“Is that what being a keyblade warrior is like,” she looks back at him, but he’s busy staring off into the black waters once more.

“You’re the one who freed the leviathan- you tell me.”

Exhaling a nervous laugh, “I’m no… warrior… Not like you guys.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I’ve seen you fight, more than just today. Maybe a little more practice getting into the moment- but.”

She laughs softly, sighing, “I’ll work on it. I want to help where I can, you know? I think my other friends are tired, though. Axel’s got a bit of spunk left, but Roxas just wants to relax for now.”

“If he’s anything like Sora, that won’t last,” he laughs, but it’s a quiet, forced exhalation.

“Well, he’s definitely a bit like Sora.” Silence reigns for a long moment as they regard the similar memory of ‘Sora’ in their minds. Xion barely knows him personally, but that copy of his memories lingers in the back of her mind, so he’s like a distant friend she can think of fondly at the worst of times. Riku faces a memory that is much more painful than hers, and she watches as his cool facade breaks in the moonlight. Very quietly, she mumbles, “No sign of him, huh.”

A pause, and just as quietly, “No.” Under the guise of the moonlight, he lets himself look as miserable as he feels- but Xion sees it, and begins to look quite the same.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault,” but he sounds miserable.

Crossing her arms, she leans down on the edge of the ship, expression fading. “It’s a little my fault.”

“I wouldn’t consider it like that. You seem to chronically go too hard on yourself, you know.”

She peeps, stiffening a touch to that, “It’s just sort of how I was raised, I guess? When your ‘parents’ are… several sociopaths, it kinda puts a damper on your self esteem,” but she sounds humoured by this.

“This is going to sound strange- but I do know what you mean.” Tilting her head, she hums and looks to him curiously at this. “I can’t say my parents were very kind. Spent a lot of time with Sora’s, instead.”

“Is that why you two are so close friends.”

“Yeahp. Since we were really little, me and him- and then Kairi a bit later. We always wanted to go explore new worlds, but… Didn’t turn out like quite the fun, happy adventure I was hoping for... Wait- don’t you have Sora’s copied memories?”

“Ahh… It’s mostly just once he’d left the islands and was fighting. There’s glimpses of his older life- but it feels more like… feelings, than concrete memory,” halflidded, she stares at him with a soft smile on her face that she isn’t meaning to look like, “Like, the feeling of how nice it is to just be standing here with you- even though we haven’t really spoken much about anything as, ourselves. Without a purpose in mind.”

He returns the expression, humoured by this, “Hey, maybe I’m just an easy to get along with guy.”

Wrinkling her nose, “Mnn, no, I don’t think that’s it,” and laughs, softly, a mood uplifting.

“Hey!” He laughs, quietly, giving her a playful shove- and then stops himself short, realizing something a bit, uncomfortable. She tilts her head, curious to the sudden stop, the humour fading as quietly as it came, “S-…sorry, it’s just… You, ah… nevermind.” He stands and stares there, expression a vacant muted horror as he realizes.

Eyebrow furrowing, “No- say it, you were thinking something.”

“You’re your own person, Xion,” he mumbles, resting his chin in his palms to find his gaze somewhere on stars above.

Frowning, “I remind you of him, huh.”

He raises a hand to rub the back of his neck, eyes squeezing shut. “Yeah… but like you said. In ‘feeling’, something baseless.”

“Not exactly baseless,” she shrugs, “I’m built from him. It’s not a stretch to say that I would trigger your heart for his memory.”

Another long silence, and his hands move to press into his face. Muffled, “I haven’t felt him since he left- I should have felt him by now….. Except, right now, through you- but it’s just that copy, isn’t it.”

Her gaze drifts to the water too, humming a thought. “I want to give you hope, but... It probably is. We’ve all been trying to think about him, Sora. To lead him home. But I don’t think anyone has felt something in return. Not me, not Roxas, who were built from him. And not you, now, apparently.”

A voice rumbling hoarsely as a sleepy boy walks up on deck, “I do.”

Riku startles to this, looking back to Nexahs, “What do you mean you- Nexahs, go back to bed.”

“Why are you still awake,” he hums, stifling back a yawn as he joins them, leaned heavily on the railing to the side of Xion, her placed between him and Riku; she tilts her head all the way back to peer up at his chin above her head.

She replies, “We were just having some trouble sleeping, is all. You could’ve stayed down below.”

Sighing, Nexahs levels his duo-toned gaze on Riku, who looks heartbroken in the soft growing glow of the dawn. “You seemed like you were having a somewhat heated conversation. Forgive me- it’s old habits, perhaps, to listen in on private conversations. I don’t necessarily mean to pry- but it’s important, perhaps, that I mentioned…”

“That you feel Sora? How,” Riku doesn’t mean to sound so angry, but he is, and he does. Thankfully enough, Nexahs doesn’t take it to heart. This is a very frustrating circumstance.

“It’s hard to…explain,” he hums, “And I didn’t realize it at first, what it might have been. It’s why I spoke what I had to Holly back on your islands- that I’d make a promise to find him. It was because I genuinely think that I can, even if I was unsure why. Something my heart remembers.”

“But you’re not telling me _why_ , you think _you_ can, over anyone else.” Over ‘me’, he thinks, and Nexahs knows Riku is thinking this.

His eyes close, an explanation forming in his mind. “You won’t like the answer I’ll have to give you.”

Xion doesn’t understand at all, looking between the two, but Riku slowly realizes a detail. “You think he’s fallen to darkness. And he’d connect to that darkness still in your heart.”

“It’s a thought,” his eyes reopen, gaze settling on Riku. “No one else of you and your friends would think of him fondly and still contact the darkness that I definitely still live with.”

“He wouldn’t do that. Not Sora.”

“You don’t know the kind of strain being the measure of lost he is can be.”

“No- but I _know Sora_. He wouldn’t fall to the darkness.”

“He has almost done this before. Quite severely,” he stares through Riku, gaze stiff and foreboding. “It’s not your fault if he has, Riku. It’s just the situation we might be in now.”

Riku opens his mouth to retort, but realizes he’s letting his anger sway his bias, and stifles back down, hands gripped into fists. “… But you can still find him.”

“Or, he can find me. If I can keep him in my thoughts, a beacon for him, if that is something I can do for his sake else from all others. If he _is_ fallen to darkness- you know that is not the end. If you, and if _I_ can find a manageable place to remain among us living, he can recover from his ordeals.”

Riku is softening now, thinking about it more critically. “Y-…yeah… And if you feel him, then he is really out there, huh.”

“I am positive,” Nexahs nods his certainty. There are nearly undefinable specks of Sora he sees like sunspots in the back of his mind- most when he’s nearly asleep. Another long silence, and Riku stiffens again, gaze adverting to the side, and Nexahs feels a pressure from him he’s not too fond of, immediately taking a step around Xion to place a very firm hand on his shoulder, “ _Do not_.” Xion finds herself confused and moves to remove herself from the situation, simply watching in curiosity around Nexahs’ back.

Having immediately been ‘caught’, his body loosens, that pressure abating, “I- I, wasn’t…” No, you were.

“Having personally been inside of your head, I know how desperately you want to connect to Sora once again, and I know much you want and think that it needs to be you. However, for once, you are going to have to trust someone else to do this, I'm hoping some part of you can live to trust _me_ of all people.. For the sake of your own health- I will suffer this where you need not. Think- Iif _you_ succumb to the darkness once more to find him- who will return him to the light when he comes for you?”

Expression warping into something distasteful, under his breath, “Kairi, probably.”

“Don’t make that poor girl have to fix both of you. She’s a princess of heart- so she _can_ , but that’s still not ideal. And _I’m_ not going to do it,” he squeezes his shoulder, affirmative.

Brushing the hand off his shoulder, Riku moves to go below deck once more, “Yeah, yeah,” leaving Xion and Nexahs above in silence.

He leans backwards on the railing, slowly looking over to her, “You’re well, Xion?” He attempts to change the subject immediately.

Having been in the middle of a mind wandering, she peeps when he speaks, “Ah- oh! Y-yes, I’m good. Are you good? You look tired, and that was some argument that I don’t think I understand.”

He nods, he is, “I’m afraid apparently I’m still here in this world to settle some things.”

“Did you really ‘settle’ things back then, because you mostly made Saix do everything,” she salts him, squinting up with a wrinkled nose.

“That technically still counts, even if I was using Saix as a mouthpiece. Also- Ansem, the heartless, settled the entirety of his own disputes. Mostly with… violence, however.

.... A long silence, and very quietly, “Can I ask you a…really, dumb, completely unrelated sort of question.”

“… Very well,” he perks a curious brow to this shyness.

“Ok, so, this was like, a super off hand and just, really unrelated situation, but we were talking about Roxas and memories, and you solving disputes, and it got me to thinking…”

“Go on.”

“Waaay, way back when, Roxas fell asleep, I think because Sora was having issues in Castle Oblivion? And I kept checking up on him, but one day, you were there, and I chickened out and waited for you to leave.” Her expression twists into humoured embarrassment, hands covering her face. “Man, I don’t know why I’m asking.”

He remembers the moment she’s describing, but isn’t sure what there was to question about it, “This was a long while ago, you must be terribly curious- and now I am as well, so I must request you continue to ask.”

“I don’t-… Did you draw on Roxas’ face.”(this occurred in the manga.)

His lip curls, eyebrows furrowing as his gaze flicks to the far side in thought. Did he? “…did I…” His eyes shut, really thinking about it. “…No….” he raises a hand to hold up a ‘but wait’ finger, “but I did watch the dusks do it.”

A long silence. “Why!?” Her exclamation echoes into the now morning air, and out of instinct he clamps a gloved palm over her mouth. Muffled, “Wrrrry….”

“I wish I had an answer for you. I can’t say that I was ‘humoured’, as I wasn’t familiar with the emotion, but something about it seemed acceptable, as it wasn’t directly causing harm, and it was interesting to watch their behavior. They were apparently doing this so often, that as I sat and watched, they grew unhesitant about it. They were, perhaps, ‘having fun’, so much they grew unwary of me being there, and simply acted as they would naturally, alone.”

Unlatching her mouth from his hand, she gasps before speaking, “That is the most ‘you’ answer I could have received to that. I went and immediately told everyone what you did- but no one believed me!”

“Technically, I did not do it.”

“Not stopping them is almost as bad as doing it!”

“But it was funny, wasn’t it.”

Slowly, she grips his arm, staring up at him with wide eyes, “It was so, so funny, that I’m almost sad now that I know the truth, and that it wasn’t you.”

“Well, like you said. It might as well have been me.”


	9. Chapter 9

As requested by the inhabitant of this world, the morning rolls over and they get the hell out, hopefully never to return. Well, apparently Sora is ‘allowed to visit’ if he should return and for posterity, Nexahs does mention that William should try to keep Sora in his thoughts. Despite not knowing why, the other man promises he will, and they take their separate ways. For the sake of getting back to Demyx quicker to ‘check on’ him, Xion agrees to warp back to Radiant Garden first, and to be dropped off home to Twilight Town later- what’s a couple more days, she supposes. After the last few days of talking with him, fighting him, and talking again, something has her interest enough in Nexahs that she kind of wants to stick around just to see what he’ll do next. Nexahs is suspiciously quiet the duration of their journey, and Riku questions it, but he brushes off any perceived stress as tiredness- and it’s hard not to believe him for it, because he is known to be a very sleepy, quiet man.

The real burden that he is attempting to keep on the personal downlow is the fact there is no ‘checking’ in on Demyx. Riku said it himself- and it strains Nexahs that he doesn’t seem to recall having said it- a Nobody can reform when its heart is free, and its body has a chance to be… ‘reborn’. There’s only one solution to this _he_ knows. Perhaps Vexen was able to put his heart back in its place without destruction- but he truly wanted it, and implied it was not a simple task and that forbidden science was involved. The easiest, simplest way of resolving this problem, was….

Nexahs sighs, though he doesn’t mean to, eyes squinting shut as they land, and he’s overcome with unwanted anxiety, clenching his hands into fists. Riku looks behind from his pilots’ seat, “What’s up?”

“Ah- I just get uncomfortable seeing this place,” he manages to lie, likely because it’s not entirely false.

An eyebrow raises, “You live here.”

“I haven’t for very long. This is more the place that I ‘died’, if anything.”

He nods to that, sort of understanding. “Alright, well don’t try to fight me on the way in, alright?”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“I’m only sort of joking,” he sticks out his tongue a touch, returning forward facing to land the ship.

Xion frowns, deeply, pointing between the two of them, “No fighting!”

“No, Xion, no fighting,” Nexahs exhales a laugh, stifling down his restlessness. Unfortunately, that one is also a lie. Sort of… It won’t really be a, ‘fight’. Demyx isn’t going to be given the chance to return fire like he’d given Xion a week or so earlier, and he won’t be pulling punches like he had for Isa. At least, that’s going to be the plan. Still rough from yesterday- but Nexahs knows his own measure. He is certain he will be able to draw out the required power in necessity. As long as Demyx isn’t expecting it to happen. There’s a chance Demyx knows what’s coming, and he will be _scared._

Riku can still tell Nexahs is still disconcertingly stiff as they walk towards the laboratory, and even though he knows Nexahs’ explanation earlier is at least in part legitimate, something in his instinct is telling him not to trust. It’s just Riku and Nexahs now, Xion opting not to hang around the lab, and Riku is watching like a hawk for signs of hostility, but he’s turned into a solid, emotionless rock. This, this is ‘Xemnas’. He’s absolutely up to something.

“… No really, man. What’s up,” reaching over, he tries to grab an arm, pausing their walk for a moment.

Blinking, the vacancy fades just a touch as he looks down to the other, “Hmn? Nothing is up.”

“You’re really stiff,” releasing his grip, Riku looks him up, and down, and up again to meet his duo toned gaze.

Looking down at himself where Riku’s gaze travels, an eyebrow raises, “Like I said, I’m nervous to be here again,” even as he speaks, his voice is low and rumbling.

“You were here for weeks; you were mostly comfortable when I picked you up two days ago. Something’s got your hackles up,” arms fold over his chest, eyes narrowing as he looks sidelong in concern.

Frowning, he scrambles for a lie, though he’s not sure anymore why he feels he needs to- Riku knows Demyx must be destroyed for this to work. “A bit of what we spoke of last night, a bit of the fight has me winded. Apologies- you haven’t seen, but my emotions do come and go like this.”

Riku still doesn’t look convinced but is fairly certain he’s not going to get it out of him, so he sighs and lets the walk inside continue, their hallway travel occurring in cold silence.

To Nexahs’ great misfortune, Demyx is in a common area with Dilan AND Aeleus, the two later reclined on a couch with a curled-up dragoon sprawled across their laps, while the man of the hour is leaning on a table and talking about nothing in particular when they enter. Demyx gives him a curious expression, and a friendly wave- “Oh hey there! How did it go, huh? I’m feeling particularly ‘cheery’ today, I think!” And he does look, so happy, and cheerful, but Nexahs knows better. His heart isn’t in there yet- it’s simply free to communicate to him; but soon, it will be captured once more by heartless if it is allowed to wander. This is inevitable, and a risk they might have already taken by taking the night to return.

It’s now or never, and Demyx tilts a confused head at how miserable Nexahs looks.

For about a millisecond, at least, because with no warning beyond the dimming of the lights in the room, he’s abruptly perforated by encircling lasers. Screeching in pain from this sudden attack, Demyx doesn’t immediately realize _why_ this has occurred, just that is has, and it was painful. The other two of them startle off the couch, the dragoon hitting tiles with an offended honk- Dilan is on his legs faster than Aeleus, but neither of them immediately fights back, because they… equally, do not want to succumb to laser perforation, nor do they understand why the attack has occured. The dragoon rises to its full height, and places itself between the lightshow and its master with unfolded spears to create a guarded position, despite its loyalty to the attacker as well. It knows something is ‘wrong’ with him on occasion, and random hostility isn’t to be trusted.

Riku, however, has No Fear, snarling up at Nexahs and immediately ramming into his side with keyblade drawn, “XEMNAS, NO,” reverting back to his ‘old’ name under the assumption this is some wayward whim of his previous life. Nexahs is definitely still ‘himself’, and also unfortunately for Riku, still in ‘battle’ mode, so he shrugs off his violent attack easily, floating up on his heels to dodge, and keeping that levitation to hover his way to Demyx’s soon to be lifeless form as it begins to disintegrate.

Riku stops his counter attack, disturbingly confused when he sees Nexahs catching the man he’d so viciously attacked before he falls, holding Demyx up in one arm as the injured’s posture falters, and he stammers, “Gh- hhh… I…. I guess… I’m not surprised….” He swallows, a nervous laugh creaking from his throat; a hand grips around Nexahs as he tries not to not fall.

Rumbling, “I’m sorry. I hope you know why-“

“I do, I do,” he still laughs, patting Nexahs’ arm as he fades, “I just wish- hhg, maybe, you’d given me, some, some _warning_ …”

“You would’ve ran, and you don’t have the time for that.”

“…yeah, probably.”

“Go find your heart, Demyx.”

He nods, weakly, and with little fanfare, decays into nothingness.

Demyx acceptance of the situation does not mean Nexahs is not in trouble for doing this. Mostly, what it reminds everyone here is that if he did decide to one day ‘turn’ on them, their deaths would be swift and merciless. He argues with Ansem about this- that their King could do the exact same thing- but it is to no avail. He initiated an unfair, one-sided fight that proved everything about him they feared.

He finds himself locked in his room while they let tensions simmer down and decide what they will do with him. His sorcerers are banished back to the World that Never Was, and Dilan warns his dragoons to avoid him if they wish to stay here. Not terrible happy about this, Nexahs assures the displaced nobodies mentally that this will blow over. Eventually. When Demyx’s somebody shows up again and forgives him… He hopes, at least, that is how this still occur. In the meantime, Nexahs is kept alone in the dark of his room for several days, only spotting humanity when it comes to feed him, or when he’s allowed to wander to the bathroom. Riku remains on the premises, simmering down his rage over time, and does not come to visit until he can properly parse the situation.

Already depressed to have had to destroy Demyx and to have let Riku down, it does not help Nexahs’ mental state to be imprisoned here. Finding himself staring at the empty walls, in a dark room, forgone his sheets or blankets to a pile to the foot of his bed, only hiding his shame in ill-fitting sweatpants. However, like last time he was ‘trapped’ here, alone and upset, the pressure changes in his room, a corridor opening the wall opposite to his bed. At first, his brain thinks Demyx, and then remembers the last time this occurred. Curiously, “Xigbar?”

Stepping through, the figure shifts off his hood, “In the flesh! Still down here, huh?”

“I’ve been put under house arrest for destroying Demyx,” he explains immediately.

Blinking, “Why did you… destroy poor Demyx,” hands level on hips, and Xigbar gives him an accusing look. “Wait, Demyx is still around…?”

“I found and released his heart, and he needed to go get it before it became imprisoned once more by heartless.”

“Ohhh, oh oh, very reasonable,” he nods, discerning expression immediately reverting to his standard neutrality. Striding across the room, he plants ass on his bed beside him- Nexahs makes room this time, sitting up and waiting for him to join him. “So then wait- why are you in jail.”

“It scared them to see I still harness significant proportions of my previous power.”

“Are you telling me they didn’t know you were capable of murder before this?!” Xigbar exclaims, looking down over at him with a palm pressed to chest.

“It wasn’t _murder_ ,” he snarks, licking over his teeth in frustration, “It was necessary… But still, yes, you would’ve thought they’d know,” he shrugs, sighing.

“Sounds like a big drama-fest, just like I said it would be!”

“So it is. And yet- here you are, again. I’m noticing your appearances seem conditional upon my emotional distress, though it’s only been two times, not enough samples to make a real correlation.”

“Yeah? What if I is, hmn?”

Leaning back, Nexahs props himself up on his elbows, peering over at the back of Xigbar’s head, “It would be very curious, to say the least.”

He tilts his head back in time, ‘looking’ over with his eyepatch, “Just curious?”

“I’m implying perhaps you should tell me your reasoning.”

“I never admitted that was the reason,” he teases, head still canted awkwardly to the side, gesturing with one hand, “Could just be unrelated, like you said.”

Rolling his eyes, Nexahs accepts that he isn’t going to get a straight answer, “And how are you then, hmn?”

“Fine- still just fine~, just bored.”

“And I’m on your list of relief for that?”

“I am here, aren’t I? Do you think you’re boring?”

“Perhaps when I’m locked in my room with nothing to do or talk about, I am boring.”

“You didn’t have nothing to talk about! You told me about Demyx’s heart, being trapped in jail for not-murder…. I guess that was a shorter story than I thought,” he laughs at the end, still waving that dismissive hand.

Exhaling a laugh, “Demyx’s heartless was a massive leviathan in that ocean world I’d sent Luxord too. Apparently, it was so sheepish despite its size, no one had ever heard if it being there, beyond a man whose ship could sink under the ocean.”

“What- really?” Xigbar actually looks a little surprised by this, but goes on to joke, “Demyx’s heartless was shy?!”

Snrking, “I mean- you know most heartless do not reflect their captured hearts.”

“Must be a powerful heart then, huh?”

“Must be,” but his tone changes, rumbling deep in his chest at a thought, his vision growing vacant. “… I don’t remember…”

“Hmn? Don’t remember what?”

“I don’t remember what makes Demyx’s heart strong.”

Blinking, Xigbar turns around entirely to look at him, the eyebrow of his singular eye raised in the utmost confusion, “That’s strange. You mentioned it yourself, you collected all your organization members for specific reasons, didn’t you?”

“I.. I don’t remember,” he sounds quite frustrated now- because he’s thinking about it, and a massive swathe of his memory is just… Wiped, gone, empty. He knew he had memory issues- but this was getting obscene. “Anyone beyond the several I’d obtained here in Radiant Garden.”

“Aahhh,” Xigbar gives him a pitied look, “That’s unfortunate, and strange? Anyone else wake up with memory problems? I know I didn’t.”

“Not to this extent. This is exceptionally frustrating.”

“Oh yeah, it would be,” and he reaches over to pat his leg, fully expecting to be removed…. But he doesn’t. In fact- Nexahs finds himself… enjoying, just a simple patting. Xigbar notices the change immediately, his enraged response dimming- so he just leaves his hand there. “… You wanna go for a walk?”

“I told you, I’m locked in here.”

“Wouldn’t be hard to break the door.”

“They really.. wouldn’t like that.”

“I mean, they wouldn’t like you walking around at all, but I’m about to go unlock the door, and I’m thinkin’ you’re gonna follow me,” he hefts his weight up to standing, and Nexahs watches as he walks over, testing the lock with a impeded turn of the knob. Click click, no, it’s locked Xigbar.

“… You’re just going to jiggle the door handle?”

“Hey- I wanted to be sure it was locked first before I bought out the ‘big guns’,” he shrugs, gesturing wide with his hands- and then that familiar keyblade appears in his grasp. No Name- reclaimed from Xehanort. “Doing this is a real misuse of its power- but nothing worse than what _you all_ did with it, huh.” So casually, he points it at the door- and effortlessly, it unlocks, with literally no fanfare.

“I guess not. I don’t know what it was for.”

“Hmn? You should know a _little_ what it’s for.”

Squinting, “I killed you all with it, didn’t I.”

“Yes. Yes you did,” with a humoured lilt to his voice, he returns his keyblade back to its void, turning to Nexahs, who hasn’t moved to get up. “Ohh, are you going to sit there just to spite me?”

“I’m thinking about it. But also- if I stay here alone for much longer, I really am going to hurt someone, perhaps just myself, but,” and he hefts his weight up with a grunt, following after him. He does have the forethought to grab a shirt to tug over his nudity but forgoes shoes.

At first, Xigbar is cautious, sticking his head out the door the door to just barely peer around the corners- but spots no one; it is as vacant, blue and sterile here as it always was. “You think they’d put out guards.”

“They don’t have the numbers for that, they only come in moments I ‘need’ to leave,” he stands behind him, waiting for the lead, “Or perhaps they’re expecting me to behave.”

“After you murdered Demyx?”

“I didn’t- stop that, you,” and he swats at Xigbar’s ass, causing him to remove himself from the doorframe with a jump into the hallway, stifling laughter as he goes.

“Hey! Good for us leaving, then. Didn’t think I’d be showing my face around here again, huh,” he stretches out an arm above him head, and just, walks off to somewhere. Despite earlier commands not to appear around Nexahs for the time being, the air twists with familiar thorns- three Snipers appear, a type Nexahs hadn’t seen so far since the many of the other nobody had shown up. ‘Standing’ sideways in the air before them, Xigbar reaches up happily to squish a face, “Hey there, friends! Pitiful, broken little creatures,” he teases in a cruel tone, though they don’t mind, “Won’t visit me on my home turf, but when Xemnas is around… Oh, my apologies, Nexahs, was it?”

“It is. They haven’t visited me before this either, however, though many others have,” he hums, curiously, “I’ve seen a samurai, assassin, dragoon, berserker, my own sorcerers. A gambler once in passing, which makes your snipers the last of my ‘generation 2’s’.” He reaches up as well to see if one wants attention, but it’s less inclined, leaning away from his grasp. “They still mirror their masters, you know. Perhaps they avoid me for reason,” and he levels a cold, unkind gaze on Xigbar’s back before the other man turns to face that dark look in response.

“I mean- can you really blame them? You know what you’ve done,” Xigbar’s tone is similarly dark- but not necessarily mad, just ‘accurate’, and teasing as he does.

“You can’t cast me in a shadow unlike yours, Xigbar.”

“ _I_ have my reasons.” Turning forwards once again, Xigbar start a slow walk, because they were supposed to be going for a ‘walk’, and the sooner they get away from his room, the better. The further they can find somewhere to hide for a bit..

“And as did I.” Nexahs’ follows, arms crossing over his chest; alongside them now, these three snipers, darting about as they do.

“Well, if they’re mirroring me so much, how come I am, very obviously, not avoiding you?”

“You only come specifically timed, as you always are.”

“ _Whaaaat_ , you _want_ me around _all the time_?”

“Suppose I don’t.”

“You’d go crazy if I was here badgering you constantly.”

“… It’s very likely, you are already starting to nerve me.”

“But you still followed, hmn?”

“You unlocked my door.”

“You could’ve walked in the other direction.”

“And you wouldn’t have followed?”

“… I mean, I might have- but you didn’t even try!”

His eyes list off to the side, half-lidded. A moment of silence before, “I have, once again, ‘betrayed’ all my friends. I must wait for Demyx to return before anyone will speak to me again.”

“Ohhhh, so _poor, lonely_ Nexahs has to follow around Xigbar, huh.”

“You’re making it sound like you weren’t around me often when you were in my organization.”

“Were we ‘friends’?”

“…No…”

“What about Saix?”

“No.”

“Have you gotten to visit him yet?”

“Yes. We aren’t friends. But we could be.”

“Could _we_ be friends?” A hand plants to his chest, looking at Nexahs over his shoulder- except not, because he’s still ‘looking’ with the eyepatch.

“I’m trying to discern if you’re giving me this chance, or if you’re being manipulative again to get something you want.”

“Could be both!” He shrugs, arms wide, turning heel for a moment to walk backwards, finally giving him the gaze of his remaining, still brown eye, “Think you’ll be able to figure it out?”

“Not in this state.”

“So- is it worth the risk?”

Stopping for a moment, Nexahs stares back at him with an entirely flat expression, parsing his thoughts. “I guess you’re right. I’m here, I’m following you.”

He just laughs to that, hoarsely under his breath, before turning around to walk forwards again. “Maybe it’s not all as dire as you think, friend. Sometimes, people mess things up, and then you wait a while, and then they get forgiven. I’m not going to be your only ‘friend’, Nexahs. I’m just a guy, who wants to show up sometimes, and tease you a bit.”

They end up on a balcony, the snipers disappearing to the rockfaces above to observe, looking over the barren expanse. It’s midday, and Nexahs doesn’t enjoy the bright sunlight illuminating every corner of existence here, so he squints his discomfort. Turning back to give Nexahs an incredulous look to that, Xigbar is apparently unaffected by the light- “What, you don’t like the fresh air, the breeze, the sun on your skin? You’ve been cooped up for days!”

“The sun is… bright.”

“It’s not _that_ bright…” _It kind of is._

“You only have one eye.”

“ExcUSE- My one eye still knows how to see the SUN, Nexahs!” Turning around to swat him playfully.  Xigbar still heads to the railing to stare off and enjoy the aforementioned breeze, and as he continues doing, Nexahs follows.

He figures out quick if he closes the ‘gold’ eye, however, the light becomes less of an issue, so now he also only has ‘one’ eye, accidentally mirroring Xigbar. “When you live in the dark so long, something something, hum, light hurt my eyes. You know how it is.” He speaks this completely toneless and deadpan.

Xigbar just stops, stares, and then loses his shit at that answer he’s given, nearly doubling over, “Please, PLEASE keep _dragging yourself_ like that, you’re going to kill me, _again._ ”

“If a heart could remove itself due to excessive laughter, Sora would’ve never been an issue in the first place.”

“Oh?” He wipes a tear from his face, “Was Sora a ‘laugh’er?”

“I’m assuming, but suppose I never saw this in practice. Laughing in front of someone like ‘we’ were wasn’t a common occurrence,” he separates between ‘Xemnas’ and ‘Ansem’ for good measure.

“You can say that again- now that you’re making ‘jokes’, my brain doesn’t know how to process this,” when Nexahs joins him on the railing, Xigbar slaps a hand over his back, and leaves it there for, perhaps, experimental purposes.

Nexahs does not move to remove him, relaxing into his touch, “Exactly like that, please. Everyone else gives me these vacant looks of horror, and it does not feel good to my heart.”

“Aww, but it was funny!” There’s a ruckus up above, a chattering of snipers attempting to warn of something- Xigbar looks up at them, tilting his neck backwards uncomfortably, but doesn’t seem to whatever has them riled is a big deal.

“I’m not ‘supposed’ to be funny.”

“That just makes it funnier.”

“I’m glad _someone_ thinks so.”

An interloper speaks, a familiar voice Nexahs isn’t really expecting, “I didn’t know being funny was something you cared for.”

Xigbar looks back first, over his shoulder now instead of cracking his neck backwards, and recognizing, “Saix! Or, _sorry,_ it’s Isa, isn’t it,” he shrugs, waving that expressive hand, “I’ll get you all down eventually.”

“Braig.”

“Actually, it’s still Xigbar,” he points with a finger, and then to his forehead, imitating a certain someone.

He raises an eyebrow, approaching the two despite Nexahs’ spine stiffening uncomfortably under Xigbar’s grip, “You are still a nobody?”

“No- but I ended up liking Xigbar! What’s the problem- isn’t Axel still Axel?”

“… He is, I suppose. Your name doesn’t matter much,” he shrugs, looking between them, and Nexahs attempting to ignore him. “Nexahs, you didn’t say Xigbar was still around.”

“I didn’t think it was relevant,” he replies, mumbling.

“Perhaps it isn’t- but I can’t help but notice your clothes,” Isa gestures a hand to Xigbar’s dark robes.

Xigbar shrugs again, “Axel wore his up until the final battle- don’t think I forgot! They’re comfortable, it’s a whole outfit, so I never have to worry about fashion,” he poses for a moment, flipping around to lean his ass on the railing to face Isa instead, but one hand still finds itself knuckles pressed to Nexahs’ back, just barely. Steady now.

“Suppose it is,” Isa does not look convinced of things. He is just as aware as ‘Xemnas’ was to Xigbar’s exceptionally secretive nature. “Nexahs- I’m told you were locked away in your room- but I’d gone to find you, and the door is left open, room vacant.”

Xigbar interjects, “Sorry- that’s my fault, really, I really should’ve shut the door again.”

Isa stares, “You are aware that is not the issue here.”

“ _Still_ my fault- I offered to take him for a walk! It was stifling down there, lonely all by himself. It’d criminal of me to treat a _friend_ like that,” he sneers, leveling his singular eye on Isa mockingly.

Nexahs is aware of what is occurring, but he can’t find the effort to… stop it. Slowly, he looks around to Isa, his face devoid of emotional response. Isa responds to Xigbar, while staring through Nexahs, “He knows well that he was not supposed to leave.”

“No- and I hear you about that, I know what he did, he told me- but it’s not fair, to me. Shouldn’t it be fair?”

“You’re not a judge here any longer, Xigbar.”

Shrugging, he leans back on the railing with his elbows, looking to the stone-faced man beside him for input, and Nexahs gives it, “I am aware you’re all very mad at me for doing something that required to be done, and punishing me for having strength I did not ask to have,” his expression might be flat, but his tone is _dark_ , a brooding rage that puts near physical pressure on the air around them.

This silences the three of them for a second, though Xigbar does not loose that sense of smugness. Isa sighs, softly under his breath, “I know that you aren’t used to someone elses rules-“

“I am not content with rules that are… As it has been put, ‘unfair’. I was fine when I was banned from science. I’m fine when I’m advised not to go into the city, I’m fine when I’m told I must wait to assist my nobody kin. What isn’t fine, is being punished for doing _what they asked_ , because they were _too lazy to do it themselves_ ,” he takes a step forwards towards Isa- who somehow, manages not to balk at the threat.

However, Isa does respond, “You said no more fighting, Nexahs.”

Nearly nose to nose, he stands at his full height before him, posturing, “Then _stop fighting me_.”

“I’m not trying to,” he speaks softly, refusing to escalate.

“I don’t care what you think you’re ‘trying’ to do.”

It’s a startle when Xigbar snags him by an arm and tugs- and it melts away his infuriated response in confusion, “Alright- you know, it’s been nice Isa, but we were kind of going for a walk-“ but Xigbar is walking towards the edge of the balcony- before a dark corridor appears. “Still want to have that walk, friend?”

Isa looks between them, suddenly concerned, “I do not think that is a good idea-“

Nexahs cuts him short, “Yes, I would love to continue our walk.”

“Nexahs- Nexahs wait, your heart,” Isa reaches to grab him when he realizes he isn’t stopping, but it’s too late, and they disappear into the darkness. He doesn’t follow, on account of not trusting Xigbar to drag him out of it is he became lost, which he would. Standing there, alone now, he lets his restrained emotions overflow, hissing through his teeth with clenched jaw, hands balled into fists so hard he breaks the skin of his palms. But he does not lose control. He can’t, not now. Now- now we have to figure out where they’re _going_.

The answer is, ‘not far’, because the darkness overwhelms Nexahs instantaneously, the second they set foot into the corridor. Xigbar catches on quick, snagging his hand tightly, and rushing them through- they pop out another corridor somewhere in Radiant Garden’s city, and Nexahs doubles over in pain, clutching his chest. “Ohp- now I _knew_ that wasn’t a good idea- but I think I underestimated how bad- sorry,” and Xigbar does sound legitimately apologetic, hovering a hand over him- but this time it is swatted away, Nexahs stumbling away in his discomfort, barely remaining on his legs.

“No- I can’t- I, I am _still dark_ \- why is this so-, _why is this so bad_ ,” he rasps to himself, mostly ignoring Xigbar.

Despite the initial swatting, he goes in for a second more forceful try at physical contact, gripping onto Nexahs face to twist his eyes up to meet his, “Hey- pay attention,” he’s never heard Xigbar be so commanding before, so he does, staring up at him with still duo toned eyes. “You’re fine. Just relax.”

So he…. Does. Slowly, recollecting his breath, swallowing roughly as he stares up at Xigbar in wide eyed, pained confusion. “…. Sorry,” he mumbles, barely over his breath.

And Xigbar returns to his softer demeanor, “It’s fine, buddy. Something to work on- or not! Maybe it’s a learning lesson- guess you and the darkness aren’t on as good terms anymore, huh.”

Leaning upwards, he is definitely not uninjured, but he isn’t succumbing, “My heart is weak, incomplete, and full of holes.”

“That’s definitely a pickle. I bet the darkness just stuffed itself right up in those unprotected bits.” Xigbar looks very, very curious to this- because it’s obvious he’s being eaten by darkness, and yet he isn’t overcome despite his injured, fragmented heart. Infinitely curious.

“Likely,” he groans, leaning heavy on a nearby wall, “inconvenient.”

“Hmn? Why’s that? You don’t need to travel corridors, do you?”

“What if I do?”

“I guess you’ll just have to figure that out, huh. You’re a tough dude, Nexahs. I believe in you, even if you _think_ I’m just playing.”

He nods, slowly, somehow feeling the sentiment. “I…. need to find Isa.”

“I, unfortunately, agree. I might’ve been a bit ruder than I should have been.”

“He’s just trying to help,” Nexahs sighs, trying to stand up straight, but ultimately fails. “Apparently, I’m not going anywhere.”

Xigbar stuffs himself under Nexahs’ armpit, easily hefting his weight to drag him off. “Up we go. It’s not that far of a walk to the lab from here, we just gotta hope no one questions the scene.”

“Someone probably will.”

The someone is, somehow thankfully enough, Isa himself, who finds them easily when they’re no longer ‘hiding’- and Xion, who was still in Radiant Garden from their previous heartless murdering adventure. She has all but lost her fear of him despite the Demyx murder, so immediately comes up for a swatting, ignoring Xigbar’s exclamation and surprise, “Would you STOP,”

Flinching from this, Nexahs is more humoured than anything, “Oh, probably not,” and Xigbar reaches down to grab her offending hand before this stops being amusing.

“Spitfire! Please, give the man some room- I immediately fucked up his shit on accident.”

Pointing at him, “You! …. Hello.” She stares, suddenly realizing who it is.

Smiling in return, he releases her hand, “Hello, Xion! And how are you.”

“Uhm…fine.”

“Do you want this back,” he hefts up Nexahs for a moment, ‘displaying’ him, and he looks unamused by this.

“That would be nice. He’s in trouble. You’re in trouble too- but I don’t think we can catch you, huh.”

“Not a chance,” he gives her a wink, which is hard when you only have one eye, while Nexahs goes prone out of something he might define as ‘embarrassment’ one day.

Then, Xigbar opts to actually hand her the man that is near three times her size. “Wh-WUH,” oh, he tries not to crush her under his weight, but he can not hold himself up, and Isa does not rush forwards quick enough to delay the crushening; she manages to save her bones, but now both her and Nexahs are on the ground. With all three of them occupied now, Xigbar steps backwards from the situation with a wave and a smile to Isa- Isa becoming busy with heaving Nexahs off Xion’s body- before disappearing into a corridor. ‘Not a chance’.

Not making life easy, Nexahs still barely holds his weight when he’s in Isa’s arms now instead, staring at the floor in silent social horror. Barely over his breath, “Sorry.” It’s hard to say who the ‘sorry’ is directed at, because he looks at neither of them, but Xion is dusting off her clothes beside them,

“It’s not like you threw yourself at me- I blame Xigbar! What’s he even up to.”

Still hoarsely, quietly, pained, “We were just talking. He wants to be friends,” he hums, looking miserable- apparently his emotions are leaking out of him now, in his pain. Both Xion and Isa look concerned when they swear they hear a sniffle, but it does not turn into legitimate tears, to their intense relief. No one in any world would know what to do with a crying Nexahs.

Isa hefts his weight firmly into his grip and starts the walk home with Xion trailing behind. “I’m less sure about that.”

“He didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s not like he knew I could not walk through the darkness any longer.”

“And you are sure about that?”

“Yes. He was very confused when we came out, pulled us out earlier than intended. He hasn’t been here, he hasn’t seen what I am like.”

“… I’m still unconvinced of his overall innocence- but fine, for now.”

Quietly, “I was also surprised.”

“I see that. I tried to warn you.”

“You did. I should know better. Here to pick up Xion, by the way?”

“No. She was meant to ride home with Riku, but stayed here while I came for you.”

“Oh. Why come for me?”

“Because no one else thought they could judge better if you’d succumbed to darkness once more.”

“Oh. Riku could have-“

“Apparently not, since you assaulted Demyx right in front of him.”

“You know why I did that- and he should know why I did that.”

“It was still unacceptable by normal person standards, which you are obliged to stand by if you plan on staying here.”

“Suppose I won’t plan on staying, then, if this is how it will continue to be,” he mumbles, gaze drifting to his feet and tone rumbling.

“Nexahs- where else would you go.”

“There’s a lot of worlds.”

“And without dark corridors, how do you plan on getting there.”

“…hmn.. I’ll think about it. Certain at this point Ansem is scrounging for reasons to get me off his world.”

“How about you try relaxing instead.”

“I’m not very good at this. I keep getting lonely.”

This stops Isa’s train of thought for a moment, but not his walk. Sighing, “… I know you are.”

“If I could forgo any happiness to never feel lonely, either, I might take that offer.”

“Thankfully enough, that isn’t how this works. It’s all or nothing.”

“ _You_ want to be nobody again,” Nexahs hisses, ignoring the fact Xion is right fucking here.

She gives Isa a raised brow to that, but he sighs, accepting fate, “Well, we can’t all do what we ‘want’, can we.” She frowns at his admission- but also doesn’t exactly… blame him. Emotions are hard, and sometimes even she hates to have the ‘bad’ ones. Something to keep in mind later, though.

“I could. I used to.”

“Oh? Is that how you want this to work again, hmn? You just walking all over everyone, living in your own personal bubble?”

“I guess, no, that isn’t likely how this will ever go again, or even remotely what I want. When I’m not miserable, I understand the reasoning, but when you’re sad, nothing feels right.”

When Isa sighs to silence, unable to think of something apt to tell him, Xion chimes in from the side, “It’s like that, though, for everyone.”

“It’s awful.”

“Sometimes!”

“Why am I supposed to want this.”

“Uhmm…” That stops her too for a short second, but she shrugs, “Didn’t you have fun fighting me the other day? You seemed like you enjoyed yourself when I told you about drawing on Roxas’ face, too. I’m sure there’s other things you enjoy, in between the parts you hate.”

It’s true. He was enjoying himself just twenty minutes ago with Xigbar. “That is true,” he nods, mood uplifting just slightly, enough that he gets his feet under him again, taking some strain off Isa’s legs. “It’s very easy to be pessimistic.”

“It sure can be….” She hums, rubbing the side of her face as she thinks of some thoughts. “Isa, can I… I have a plan.”

“… Ok?”

“We should take Nexahs back to Twilight Town.”

… Squinting, “That’s a terrible-… Why…?”

“Because it’s more relaxed there. You just, go to the beach, and get ice cream, and… talk to people… Eat the rat food.”

Sort of more like it was on the island- sans, uh, ‘rat food’. No awkwardly shifting around old coworkers that are afraid of the impending murder they think is going to occur. “I don’t think Axel and Roxas will appreciate this,” Nexahs rumbles, eyeing her sidelong.

“Hmnn… We don’t have to tell them?” She can only offer a wide shrug in response.

“I don’t know what makes you think they won’t spot me in a crowd.”

Her nose wrinkles in thought, “Mmmn… we could put you in that big mansion..”

“I think Namine is there often, along with those young friends of Roxas,” Isa interjects.

“Ough,” she looks up at Isa, lips pursed, “I don’t know how much Namine will care. Knowing her, I’m inclined to say she _won’t_.”

“….uhh… I can not say I was kind to her,” really, who _was_ nice to Namine. He wasn’t. Ansem the Wise wasn’t. No wonder she lives in a mansion by herself- but then, wouldn’t she prefer the privacy of that? Nexahs wouldn’t know… he has zero idea of her personality now that she is free.

“Yeah, but she is the most laid-back person I have ever met in my life- I mean, I know that’s a short list, but.... I’ll figure it out! I just really don’t think you should stay here for a bit. Like you said when we were flying back- you’re just straight up uncomfortable around here. When we were off world, you were so much more…chill.”

Isa nods, agreeing with her sentiment, “But we shouldn’t just… steal him.”

“No, but… y’think they’ll let him go?”

“Maybe not...  Or, maybe they would enjoy having him off world for a bit, to relieve the tension. Just for a week or so.”

“Am I allowed to admit this would be my preference?” Nexahs mumbles, dragging his feet again. He vaguely wonders since when did Isa and her get along? Maybe she talked to Isa about her issues with him after she’d spoken to Nexahs about her issues with _him_. She seems significantly more relaxed in general.

Xion laughs, shaking her head, “Of course you are- if you didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t want to force you.”

“I think it might be nice to leave for a bit again. Somewhere with less hostility.”

To improve their chances, they send Xion to ask for them, because she is a cute girl and not big, scary Isa- Ansem is apprehensive, but eventually agrees on account of her explanation for ‘relieving tension’ as she’s told Isa earlier- but Riku, who is still here, is distrustful, his prior mood of affection quite soured by Nexahs ‘sudden’ turn to ‘darkness’(though he’s more upset about _other things_.). However, it is not his decision to make, so after a lengthy discussion, Isa, Xion and Nexahs now are away to Twilight Town, to return Nexahs a few weeks later, if he doesn’t cause any trouble. They continue to neglect to inform Axel or Roxas, and Xion intends to keep it that way at least for a few days, but Isa doesn’t think they’re stupid enough for that. They’re going to land at Twilight Town, their two friends will meet up with them as they always do, and they’re going to see Nexahs in the back.

Xion goes out first- Nexahs hiding in the cabin of the ship as requested, and even with Isa lingering near the door, Axel and Roxas are easily lead off by Xion telling a very heated story about their travels, fighting Demyx’s heartless, and how cool she looked doing it. Isa says he’s staying behind to check things on their ship, they’d ‘taken a few hits’ on the way back, and even though Axel offers to help repair, Xion demands he come with her to listen to stories, and that Isa was a ‘big boy’ who could fix his own ship.

“Apparently, they are stupid enough for this,” Nexahs jokes as he leans down to the doorway, receiving an elbow for his humour.

“More like Xion makes herself a very good distraction. This isn’t going to last, anyways- I’m not about to put you up in an old, musty mansion by yourself again.”

“I mean- perhaps if it’s an entire mansion and not a single, dark room, I won’t be so inclined to acting out.”

“You don’t want to be locked in a mansion by yourself,” Isa restates.

“No, no I do not. I will face Axel and Roxas when the time comes. But if we give it a few hours to settle, perhaps they won’t want to kick me out immediately.”

“I should’ve taken you to a different world,” sighing, Isa leads them away now that Xion and the other two are long out of hearing distance, and as Nexahs follows the ship blips out of existence, into ‘hiding’. They head to the mansion to check it’s livability, because despite what Xion says about it’s relative inoccupation, he is not convinced Namine isn’t living here near full time and if she isn’t willing to have a temporary roommate, he’ll be having to tell Axel much sooner about his bringing home the murder child.

It seems unoccupied as they enter the large fenced yard, but it’s not as desolate as Nexahs remembers it being; the grass is trimmed, flowers are growing in the planters. Not quite immaculate, but not barren; someone is definitely caring for it. Leaning over to inspect a flower, Nexahs hums, “I remember being here recently, but I’m not sure what for, now.” Something… something Ansem, the heart, was doing.

“Aha! I thought I heard- oh-“ A voice perks their attention, unfamiliar to Nexahs, but Isa sighs heavily as trouble has found them. Looking over his shoulder, three teenagers make their way through the gate door; at first, none of them recognize Nexahs or his previous incarnations, and in turn neither does he- but as if at the exact same time, the one leading them, a larger dark haired boy exclaims, “ISA WATCH OUT-“

Isa, of course, startles to this, because he has no idea what he’s watching out for. “What- what!” he looks around, utterly confused, “What am I looking out for?”

Pence points, violently, and Hayner is already blasting past Isa for violence, “THAT’S THAT GUY!”

Nexahs buries his face in his hands, accepting to receive a Hayner to the gut, which isn’t pleasant, but doesn’t otherwise affect him or his posture. Suddenly looking between the two boys on the assault, Isa groans as he reaches to pull Hayner back by an arm, “What are you DOING,” he barks, shutting him down for the moment.

Muffled, Nexahs responds, “I’m sorry, Isa, I remember now. Last time I was here I almost murdered these children.”

“HA! You THINK you could beat us?!” Hayner barks, tugging uselessly in Isa’s grip.

“Ohhh, you don’t even know, _child_ ,” slowly, he peeks out a golden eye between to look at the three of them- Pence is up in his face now too, but Olette is a bit behind, catching how unafraid and unenthused Isa was by all this.

“Who are you calling CHILD, HUH,” Hayner finally manages to thrash out of Isa’s grip, but mostly because he just lets go, watching wearily if any of them decide to go straight for punching again.

“What are you doing showing your face around here, huh!” Pointing menacingly now, Pence is aware Isa isn’t on their side about this, and tries to explain their aggression, “After what you pulled!”

Nexahs holds the bridge of his nose, sighing so heavily and painfully. “Alright, yes, yes. I did a thing that was, perhaps, not ideal for your health, I’m sorry, this isn’t going to happen again- can I please, just this once, get a moment? Not to feel awful?”

Isa’s face warps from his contained anger to the greatest distaste, barred teeth and near rage- he snags both boys by their wrists, and just starts dragging, “Out- away, AWAY, you,” he barks, shoving them past the gate entrance. Olette dodges this- because she wasn’t being a nuisance about it.

 Timidly, and while Isa is busy keeping the other two out for the moment, she approaches Nexahs from the side, his face still hidden behind that hand holding his nose, “You’re sorry, huh?”

“Yes. I could explain further the circumstances, but I don’t think you’ll understand.”

“Well, that’s ok,” giving him a smile, “If you’re sorry, and since you’re friends with Isa- I’m sure you are. Sorry.”

“Good to know he holds himself in good standings.”

Looking towards Isa barely not fist fighting children, Olette hums, “Ahh… he can be a little mad sometimes, but I know he’s trying to be good. So, whatcha two doing here, huh?”

“I’m sort of ‘in hiding’, and I hear this place in generally unoccupied.”

“Oh yeah- nobody wants to live in or even near the _haunted mansion_.”

“Haunted, hmn?” He hums, humoured by her sudden ‘dire’ tone.

“Yeah! I mean, probably not really. Actually, I think a girl does live here,” she postures like she’s telling a spooky story, “Sometimes, at night, you can look up and see her standing in the window! But you blink, and she’s just, poof, gone! Vanished!”

In time, they both look up at the window and…Well, Namine _is_ there. Blinking at this very strange situation that is occurring in her yard. Slowly, Nexahs looks back down to Olette, who is still holding her ‘spooky’ pose. “You knew she was there.”

“… Yeah, I did, but that’s the story we used to tell before Namine moved in here, so I wanted to stick with it. I think she probably heard Pence and Hayner yelling,” and so she looses her ‘spook’, waving up to Namine excitedly, and the blonde girl waves down in turn, much more reservedly, before disappearing behind the curtains.

A minute later, she’s out her front steps, walking up to Olette and Nexahs with her hands on her hips and observing Isa still barking away Pence and Hayner at the gate, who won’t leave until Olette does. “Wow! This is a situation,” Namine speaks in her soft-spoken way, “What’s all this then.”

“Xion didn’t seem to think you lived here,” Nexahs rumbles, not even bothering to introduce himself. There’s a way she looks up at him in recognition, but not fear.

“Oh, I guess I try not to stay here all the time- but it is where I sleep, so I guess that counts as living! Were you planning on staying, ahh… You, person who is a somebody.”

“Nexahs. Yes, I am Xemnas, but I am not Xemnas. And yes, they were thinking about leaving me here.”

“Mmhmnn! Well, it’s a big place, lots of rooms. Are you just chilling now, as a somebody, with nothing to do?”

“I’m trying to, but everywhere I go, people want to fight me.”

“Xemnas made a lot of enemies.”

“So did Ansem. The.. heartless. And Xehanort.”

“Oh wow, all of them?”

“It seems like it. I haven’t had the presence of mind to figure it out. There is about 1 and 1/3 of a heart in me, but they’re not all the same pieces, and memories scattered around and missing like shattered glass.”

“That’s not great.”

“No.”

Olette is just staring at this conversation, because they seem to comprehend each other perfectly, and she has no idea what they’re going on about. “Ohp- well, I don’t think Isa is going to let them back in, so I guess we’ll have to come play with the computer later, huh.”

Blinking, Namine questions, “Why won’t Isa let them in.”

“They want to fight me, and it was hurting my feelings,” Nexahs sheepishly admits, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Namine snrks, “Oh, sorry. Ok, let me try,” so he waltzes over to the situation, laying a hand on Isa’s back to peer around at the two boys, “Hey! You stop that! No fighting in my yard, or you can’t come play with my computer.”

Pence balks to that, sputtering, “But- but he was a bad guy! He attacked us!”

“Didn’t he apologize?”

“Yeah, but…”

Hayner adds himself, a fist balled, “I don’t trust him! I remember what that blonde guy said, he’s bad news, and dangerous!”

Namine shrugs, giving him the best puppy dog eyes she can manage, which is Extremely Effective, “Yes, he was. So was I, once. But we apologize, and we make amends, because it’s better that way, isn’t it? Do you really want to fight everything, even if you don’t have to?”

“N-,” he stutters, stumbling back a bit, “No… I guess I don’t,” stuffing hands into his pocket, Hayner pouts under Namine’s scrutiny.

“Awr, I’m sorry Namine, we didn’t mean it like that,” Pence adds, giving them both a shrug, “And, I’m sorry Isa, we were just worried, is all.”

Stifling down his rage, he runs a hand through his hair, “Yes- I mean, no, it’s fine,” breath iiiiiiin, breath out. “Just, relax. We’re supposed to be relaxing.”

Nexahs, from a distance still with Olette, “Can I come over now and explain myself.”

Turning around to give him a wave, Namine responds, “Yeah! Come on over.”

With a sigh, he does, dragging his feet as he goes, mostly against his will. Stifling a yawn, “Yes, I am part of a man who assaulted you once on this very doorstep,” shrugging, he walks up beside Isa, and leeeeans- at first, Isa startles to this, but realizes and lets himself be a prop.

“Well- why?”

“I was doing something I thought was very vital. In the end, it ended up being something vile. Inform me- how knowledgeable are you young ones on darkness?”

“…uh… A little,” Pence raises a hand to hold two fingers close together, squinting.

“Ah. Overcome with darkness, I made many, many decisions I am learning to regret. I apologize.”

“Oh, huh. Well, alright,” and Hayner gives up the fight, just like that, stretching out a shoulder, “That’s good, I won’t need to mop the floor with you,” and he offers a hand to shake.

Nexahs blinks at the gesture for a moment, confused, but wobbly reaches over to shake hands. “Yes- no more fighting. It is a rule.”

“For you, or for anyone?”

“Preferably, anyone, but no, mostly just me,” shrugging, his gaze listing off to the side, his mind wandering elsewhere.

Tilting his head, Hayner looks up at him confused, “You look a bit different from last time, actually, now that we’re face to face.”

“Hmn?... Uh… The eyes,” he nods, blinking each one separately- and Isa is really feeling his weight now, opting to hoist an arm over his shoulder to hold weight instead- which confuses all four of the rest of them.

“Ahh, I don’t think it’s just the eyes…. Whoa, is he good?” Hayner questions, raising an eyebrow.

Nexahs is just staring at the floor now, so Isa responds, “No, not really. We were meant to come here and find him somewhere to relax, and you immediately, albeit accidentally, ruined that.”

“.. oh, whoops.”

Turning a head to Namine, “May I put him inside, even just for a bit?”

“Oh, that’s right, you missed that conversation- he can stay here if he wants! It’s a big mansion, there’s lots of rooms. I don’t think he’s going to cause me any trouble, hmn?

“No, he will not. Thank you.”


	10. Chapter 10

Xion’s plan works ….ok enough for two days, wherein Nexahs stays primarily at the mansion, mostly sleeping and occasionally sneaking out to hang around town with Isa. Axel suspects something strange is afoot when his friend keeps sneaking off to be alone, more than usual; Roxas says it’s fine and they should leave it alone, with Xion eagerly agreeing, but one afternoon after cautiously stalking him, Axel turns a street corner to see Isa sitting at the café with.. Nexahs. How the hell did he get here!

Axel is no fool now, however, strolling up with his hands behind his head, staring the two of them down, “Ah- so this is what you’re sneaking off for, huh,” sticking the barest tip of his tongue out in playful mocking- but Isa can tell he’s not completely relaxed with the situation.

Remaining similarly cool, Isa quite successfully wears none of his anxiety to having been ‘caught’, “So it seems. Couldn’t keep your nose out, hmn?”

“What! I wanted to make sure you’re fine- and, I guess you are, huh,” looking down to Nexahs, he gives him a curious look, raised eyebrow with a hint of sneer on the bridge of his nose.

“Axel. And how are you,” Nexahs looks barely cognizant, but his dull gaze slowly moves up from Axel’s boots to his face.

“Ohhhh, you know, good, good. Curious question, though, how did you get here?” He points, “Didn’t think corridors were your thing anymore.”

Slowly, Nexahs looks to Isa for permission to explain, and well.. might as well, so he shrugs in response, and his tired eyes return to Axel, “I flew here several days ago with Isa and Xion.”

…blinking, “But, but we… we met you up when you landed- OH,” he snrks, realizing, “That’s why Xion was being so pushy! Getting us out of the way so you could sneak by, huh? No wonder she’s spent the last two days telling me not to bother you!”

“It did work,” Isa hums, resting his chin in his palm, elbow to table.

“Yeah- but you coulda just told us.”

“Maybe. Does it matter now?” Nexahs interjects.

He shrugs, wide with both arms, “I guess it doesn’t! And I guess me and Roxas are outnumbered now, huh? If Isa _and_ Xion brought you here, and I didn’t notice for two days- then whatever, right?” He turns on heel to walk back from where he came, offering a parting wave, “You two have fun, alright?”

As he leaves, Nexahs quietly remarks, “Well, that went better than you expected it would,” but Isa is rising from his chair.

“Could you give me a few minutes?”

Tilting his head, “Did that not go well?

“I’m going to go find out.”

(an addition:

He isn’t hard to catch up with, Axel isn’t running away, but he doesn’t expect to be caught, startling when a shoulder is gripped-“ Buh, what?” turning to face Isa, he blinks with a tilted head.

“What was that.”

Eyebrow raised, Axel just laughs, weakly. “What was what, man? You know you don’t want me hanging around if you’re going to be hanging out with him.”

“I’m not trying to pick favourites, or make you choose between-“

Axel interrupts him, leveling both hands on his shoulders, “Neither am I, Isa. It’s really obvious- you want to give him a running chance. And that’s fine!” Isa looks very confused, eyes listing off to the side, then the ground, staring at their feet. “I’m not going to let this cycle.”

“Cycle?”

“As much as I’m not interested in giving him _my_ time of day anytime soon- I’m not going to get jealous, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I just want you to do, ‘you’, y’know? And if you think he’s worth keeping around, even just for your sake, then that’s just going to have to be fine.” Axel sounds and looks completely, wholeheartedly sincere; for a long moment they stand there in silence while Isa fails to formulate any response.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” barely audibly over his breath.

“You don’t gotta tell me nothing. All you gotta know is that if it goes squirrely, I’ll be here. Hell- if it doesn’t go squirrely, I’ll be here. I’m not doing this again,” hands trailing down from his shoulders, Axel clasps Isa’s hands, and they stand there for another long pause of thought.(end)

“Go ahead, then. I’ll likely just stay here,” and Isa gives him a shoulder patting before stalking off after Axel. It’s the first time they’ve been to this little café, and vaguely busy, they’d so far only gotten tea to drink at their leisure before food might become something they consider. Now that Isa is gone, though, Nexahs isn’t sure he’ll want anything on his own beyond what he already has. The tea is definitely getting cold now, though.

He startles back into reality from his thoughts when a voice quacks a ‘excuse me, sir’, and as Nexahs vision snaps down to the… very oddly familiar duck beside him ‘suddenly’, he blinks his confusion without responding Immediately. “Ohp- sorry laddie! Didn’t mean to give you a fright- are you doing ok there? Noticed your friend took a walk- haven’t seen you around before, though!”

“Oh, no, no need to apologize, I should learn to pay attention,” he rumbles, gesturing defensively with his hands, “As to my friend, aahhh…” slowly, he looks around. Not much time has passed, but there’s no sign of Isa. “I guess he had something to do.” Where _did_ he go.

“Can I get yah’ anything, then?”

“Uhhh… I wouldn’t know what,” he’s hardly looked at the menu, unable to discern his opinion of any of it, if he even knows what it was.

A very patient capitalist, Uncle Scrooge hums a tone of thought, “Well, what sorta things do you like?”

“This will sound strange, but I don’t know.”

A tilt of his head, “You don’t know what you like to eat?”

“No.”

“… I have a solution for that,” he nods, assured of himself, heading back towards the building. Nexahs waits patiently- not only because he has no where to go,  but because he’s very curious now, and when the duck arrives again he has ice cream in tow. The… ice cream… Always the ice cream. Only ever watching people eat the ice cream, and never having any himself. Scrooge raises an eyebrow when the stranger looks like his ice cream offering killed his parents, but the expression quickly fades.

Delicately taking it by the stick, “Thank you. I’ve always seen people eat the ice cream, but I haven’t myself in… a very long time, if perhaps ever.”

“That’s a shame! Well- this is my secret specialty; many have copied it, but none perfect it!” Eagerly, he waits for him to try- and timidly he does so.

This is an incomprehensible feeling- and incomprehensible flavour; does he like this? Is it good? He wants to eat more- but the cold hurts his teeth when he bites, so he opts a more delicate approach. He’s eating more and is compelled to do so. “I suddenly understand something important.”

Blinking, Scrooge looks so befuddled by the response he’s getting, “Oh?”

“Why everyone always eats ice cream, and quite possibly, specifically this ice cream.”

Oh, Scrooge likes _that_ response though, lighting up, “Well- first ones on the house from me, y’hear! Next time, come back with all your friends to enjoy.”

Ah, ‘friends’, perhaps he’s seen Isa with the rest of them before an assumes Nexahs is with that lot, but he isn’t about to explain to this stranger the weird dynamics at play here, so he nods, gaze wandering once again as he slowly eats this sugary offering. “I will remember, yes. Thank you.”

Isa returns some twenty minutes later, but by then Nexahs is having a full ice cream induced existential crisis, so he thanks Scrooge profusely for keeping at eye on his ‘sick’ friend and totes him back for ‘home’. Isa doesn’t seem annoyed at all- in fact, he is profoundly relaxed now, so as least Nexahs isn’t nervous about ruining any relationship him and Axel are attempting to refoster. Is Axel actually giving Nexahs a chance? Regardless, he will continue to act the best behavior to try to save his chances for the hope of ‘friendship’. He promised the nice duck he would.

\---

Perhaps Namine left her mansion more often when she was alone- but now that she’s sharing it with Nexahs, she’s around to ‘keep an eye on him’. Isa had sort of asked her too and while she can’t say they have the closest relationship, she doesn’t honestly mind; Nexahs keeps his distance and leaves her to do what she wants- which is sitting around all day and drawing, and she’s quite curious as to how the newly formed ‘someone’ will act, in comparison to who she knew Xemnas was. It doesn’t change much whether she draws in the woods, or draws in her house, besides the fresh air- so she just opens the windows more, and they can both enjoy the seclusion and fresh air.

One day they’re sitting at her long, white table, him in his vacant stupor she’s finding him often to be in, when his vision focuses, slowly looking to her pile of discarded papers. Timidly, a hand reaches over to slide one over- her eyes flick up the movement and then to him and his apparent curiosity, but with a non committal hum, he’s allowed to look, she’s not shy about her doodles. Slowly, he flips through some of the drawings- she’s improved her skills significantly from when she used to doodle way back when, and the whims of what she draws has expanded significantly in time. Some are of her ‘friends’, the three teens who had accosted him a few days prior and has seen a few times disappear into the basement, several of Xion, a few of Roxas and Axel. Small, cute scribbles of animals like puppies and kittens in piles. Things a teenager would draw in their spare time.

At his curious exploration, she perks up to a thought, “Do _you_ want to draw?”

His mouth opens to respond but pauses, looking down timidly at the papers before responding, barely over his breath, “I wouldn’t know what.”

“Anything you want,” she hums, tearing out a few sheets from her sketchbook and offering them, alongside a handful of crayons. Let him start small.

It’s a long time before he deigns to do anything with what he’s been given, but something apparently dawns on him and he starts skittering crayons across the blank pages. Giving him time to get into it before she spies, it’s a befuddling surprise to her when she finally does look over, and his page is covered in strange lines and strings of numbers.

“… What’s that?” She leans up over her sketchbook, peering at his page with a raised brow.

“Hmnn, coding,” he nods to himself like that makes sense. “Server protocol, and some other things.”

“…Do you… want more paper?” He’s ran out already, making a ‘map’ of whatever this code is over a small section of her table.

He looks up at her to that offer and she smiles in response when he looks so… cute. Wide eyed and curious. “I… don’t want to use all your paper,” oh, and he sounds so soft spoken too.

“It’s ok! Paper is easy to come by-“ she stands up from her chair, and offers him the entire rest of her book. “I’ll be back with more, you just hang out here and do what you’re doing.”

And so he does. She takes her time to come back because she wonders what he’ll do when he’s by himself and ‘creatively free’. Again, it’s a hell of a surprise when she enters again, and the entirety of her table is covered in papers, lined together perfectly where his ‘codes’ make some giant puzzle scrawled across it. It means absolutely nothing to her, but he looks like he’s thoroughly enjoying himself, so she offers more paper, but, “Ah- I, I’m making a mess of your table,” like he’d neglected to consider that fact until she was in his face again, and he looks sheepish.

“No- it’s fine! I brought this all for you,” she offers the stack, before returning to her chair to doodle while she watches him go absolutely ham for whatever the fuck he’s doing.

It casually spirals out of control, and soon enough, there’s a wall coated in swathes of paper; she’d found him some tape when he asks, placing his coding so particularly and in order- though he still hasn’t told her what it’s _for._ “What’s it do, huh?” She questions again, so thoroughly distracted by this.

“Server security protocol,” he taps to a few lines of numbers, sequences that she actually does find the similarity between, “Communication between these servers and their controllers,” pointing to more numbers, and the lines that intertwine between them. Slowly, he looks backwards to her, “Do you understand this at all.”

“Not really! But I haven’t seen you this excited about anything since you got here, so I didn’t want to stop you.”

Nexahs still looks self-conscious, and peers down to her drawing- which was incidentally, him, at this moment, and his wall of papers. “It’s not really drawing though, is it.”

“Isn’t it?”

Tilting back towards his ‘masterpiece’, “…Ahh…”

“You drew it, and it means something to you- and it’s probably creative, isn’t it?”

“It’s a non-standard way of doing this, if that is what you mean.”

“Then it’s definitely art.”

Rubbing the underside of his jaw- even if he still didn’t believe it was art, it _was_ intimately stress relieving, just to space out his mind and write down these things that seem so complicated to Namine but are as easy as breathing to him. “I’m sorry I’ve made a mess of your room.”

“Well, when or if you’re done, I do ask you take it all down, but we can put it in a pile for you to take home later, if you want.”

He’s not sure this is worth keeping- it’s honestly garbage code for babies to him, but since she offers that he should, he nods, and slowly starts meticulously taking it down.

“Wait- were you done?”

“There’s no real way to be ‘done’ this, but _I’m_ done,” he nods to himself, and she understands. Sometimes you just don’t feel like drawing anymore.

It becomes a regular occurrence the next few days he stays, coating a wall in near meaningless code and writings, before meticulously taking them down and making a nice, neat little pile that he stores in the corner of the room he was staying in. One day, at least, he does write down all the proper security codes and clearances for the computer data he’d logged into Ansem’s computer some weeks earlier. Still in crayon, of course. Nexahs will gleefully hand him the pile one day on his return ‘home’ for his superior to decipher.

One morning she questions, “Is there a reason you’re not doing this on a computer?”

A pause, and he looks down at her standing beside him as he looks over his most recent work, “I’ve been banned from science.”

“…heh?”

“This isn’t ‘science’ unless it’s on a computer. I can write all I want, but I can not do anything with it, so it is ‘safe’. Just me thinking.”

“So, I _shouldn’t_ offer you the computer in the basement.”

“I’ve been thinking about that computer you mentioned since you reminded me it was here. But I’m trying to be good.”

“That’s fair, I won’t let you then.”

A knock at the door, it isn’t uncommon that Isa simply walks inside- though it is quite a bit earlier than usual. Nexahs prefers to have his paper ramblings tucked away before he arrives. Isa stops and stares at the wall covering disaster from across the room, a moment of silence as he stares with wide, confused eyes, “…aahh.. Have I.. interrupted something?”

Nose wrinkling in distaste, it’s too late now to not explain, “No, I was just-“

Namine interjects, “He was just drawing. In his weird way,” smiling, she turns from Nexahs, meeting Isa as he makes his way over to Nexahs and his ‘drawings’.

Isa is less convinced, pulling out his phone to take a few snaps of it to send Ienzo. “Too busy ‘drawing’ to come out?”

He shrugs, “No, not really. This is something to do when bored almost every morning now- and remaining to be filled with limitless energy.”

Raising an eyebrow, “This is you getting out energy?” Now that he’s looking at it more closely, Isa does recognize some of the things he has written here, but definitely not all of it. Something about the Nobodies?

“It’s getting some worms out of my brain,” Nexahs nods like that wasn’t a really, really weird way to put that.

Isa glances to his phone, receiving a response from Ienzo,-It’s various code, but I couldn’t tell you exactly what it’s all for. There is Nobody conversion schematics in there, but not for a type I know. Maybe he’s thinking about making new ones. I wouldn’t be worried regardless. He can’t do anything without equipment.-

“Just have to get ideas out of your head, hmn,” Isa muses, “That’s fair. Namine, you don’t mind…this.”

“I am actively encouraging it.”

Nexahs looks over to Isa’s gummiphone as he messages Ienzo, squinting, “Telling on me immediately, hmn.”

“I’m obligated to,” he stares right back, narrowing his teal gaze discerningly- but a smile creeps across his features. Nexahs looks so, so much better than he was just a short week ago in Radiant Garden. Like an entirely different man- he stands up straight, attentive. ‘Happy’.

“Very well. Can’t blame you,” Nexahs returns the humour, smiling softly- and Isa does not respond with any negativity. Yes, more like that, please.

Namine stifles a laugh, “You’re going to run out of room to store all these, you know.”

Isa looks to her in confusion, “’All’ of these?”

Shaking his head, Nexahs sighs at himself, “I have at least 15 piles now….”

“Hell,” Isa tilts back his whole posture to that, giving them both a very incredulous look, “Why are you saving them?”

“I thought I was supposed to.”

Namine laughs, “You don’t HAVE to keep them- just because I said you _could_.”

“Oh. Well, now I want to keep them, in case I need to recall the thoughts later. On account of my newfound ability to remember nothing in time.”

“You know- maybe this is kind of a risk- but… You want me to, take a look at that?” She looks between the two of them, nose wrinkled.

Neither of them catch on immediately, and Nexahs responds, “Look at which?”

“Your memory.”

Blinking, he pauses in thought for that. That’s right- suppose her expertise was in the memories of Sora, but she’s apt for anyone with a connection to him. Has she gone so far now that she thinks she might mess with anyone’s memory? “… A curious thought. Another, however, is the wonder to why the universe has decreed me so mentally sparse. My worry is I’m left like this in order to remain ‘safe’. With the knowledge of my others, and my original; I knew such an amount about the universe and the way it worked,” he sighs, stopping a moment. He’s thought of this already, to himself. “I feel it’s better in a lot of ways that I don’t remember everything I once knew.”

Nodding, she understands the sentiment behind that. “Having seen you the last few days, I kinda think the universe might’ve gone a bit too far, you know? Would it hurt to let me look?”

“Depends.”

“You know, I’m not obligated to put back together what I find.”

“That is true,” he nods, “let me think about it, alright?”

“Of course! The offer will stand for now.”

\---

One morning starts off with the most unusual feeling- the feeling of being _watched._ It’s not Namine- she’s upstairs already, he’d heard her rummaging around there earlier, greeted her as he often does before either he or she leave for the day. At first he’s worried he’s just being paranoid, but out of the things his heart and minds damage has made him prone to, this kind of being watched feeling wasn’t one.

And then he spots it- a peeking eye from around a corner, a flash of cyan eyes and white streaking the air as they disappear behind the wall. An air of familiarity in his mind as to who that was, what it looked like, he finds himself immediately drawn to the chase, because if that was what he thought it was…. But how could it be?

Nexahs knows well enough the general layout of this place from his own exploration, but there are secrets almost everywhere, he notices. Unfortunately, the thing he is chasing doesn’t realize that ‘hidden’ doors are no barrier to him, and neither are coded locked ones. As one secret entrance opens and he slips inside to a darkened stairwell, Nexahs calls for good warning measure, “You’ve been spying me all morning, and perhaps longer- do you want something?” No response, but he listens intently for sounds of movement… And yes, skittering footsteps, continuing away from him. If Nexahs was smart, he would turn away and leave the sad thing alone as it wishes along with not prying into the secrets this mansion holds, but instead he’s infinitely curious. He won’t touch anything, no, but there’s no harm in seeing. Probably.

Unfortunately for the spying other, he’s leading himself into a dead end, and his usual ‘lock the door behind him’ plan did not work this time, not like it works with the three meddling teenagers. As Nexahs turns in to the final room, he’s cornered a petrified Riku in the darkness, Nexahs spots his dark roved visage with his golden eye that adjusts to the low lighting easily- but its not… ‘Riku’. A replica- and a damaged, _old_ one at that, or an incomplete one; he doesn’t think it’s the same one as was in the organization. It wears the younger visage of Riku’s replicated data, but its, ‘his’ head is damaged, an eye in a state of disrepair, and one arm is just plain off. “….oh,” Nexahs mumbles, caught with a wave of pity for what he finds.

However, this Repliku isn’t about to go down without a fight in front of _Ansem_ , and he _hisses_ , “ _Leave me alone._ ”

“Wait now,” Nexahs attempts to bargain with him- because boy does he not want to leave this poor damaged thing to wallow in pain, alone, but the Repliku does not take his offer, backing into a corner at his approach,

“Do not _touch me_.”

Raising defensive hands, Nexahs takes a step back before the replica panics too much, “Alright, alright-“ caught off guard, he hears a knock at the doorway behind him. Fully expecting it to be Namine, Nexahs turns around to apologize for his nosiness, but stops with mouth agape when it is… another Repliku? He is not visibly damaged and looks significantly more calm- offering an unusually silent wave. Both are wearing black robes, something to hide in, Nexahs would guess, making corridor travelling easier. When he spots the other replica, the damaged one skitters across desks to reach him, hissing as he passes Nexahs, until he’s half hidden behind the other. “Well, this is curious isn’t it.” The less afraid one nods, smiling softly. He looks identical in his mimicry of the younger Riku, albeit with both his eyes. “… Not a talker..?” He shakes his head, no, and then places a hand over his mouth. Perhaps another incomplete one, maybe he _can’t_ speak. “And how did you two become here.”

The broken one snarls, “None of your business- now l _eave_.”

“You’re quite damaged,” Nexahs points out, even if it seems a bit rude to him for some reason, “I could help you with this.”

He looks as if that’s the most offensive thing that has even been spoken to him, “No- I don’t want you touching me.”

But the calm one rolls his eyes, before meeting his softened pale gaze to Nexahs duotoned. Asking him something, albeit silently. He’s not sure he completely understands- but he’s nodding in agreement anyways. Maybe they do understand each other? Does the silent one want unwanted help with his other? Slowly, the silent one walks into this room Nexahs had cornered the other in earlier, and despite him audibly complaining that they’re moving, he doesn’t seem to be willing to leave the silent one behind.

Like clockwork, Nexahs positions himself in front of the door, shutting it. The damaged Repliku _hates_ this- but remains unwilling to leave his partner. Looking around, Nexahs can tell this is a little parts service room, with old outdated equipment, but he’s certain there’s some things he’ll be able to do- like perhaps get enough of the skin around his head repaired his eye won’t look like it’s threatening to fall out of his skull.

The damaged one isn’t stupid however, seeing where this is going; he stiffens up when the silent one slinks behind him, snagging his only remaining arm and pushing it up behind his back to hold him in place when Nexahs approaches again. He looks absolutely terrified and shaking, which it going to make this much harder for Nexahs stomach, but with gentle persuasion, they end up on an nearby table to bring him a more manageable height for the taller Nexahs to work with.

These tools are abysmal, and eventually Nexahs opts instead to form what he needs with straight nothingness. Easier said than done- but he gets the hang out making these small tools before he starts jamming them in the Repliku’s head. Distantly, he feels like he’s repaired things like this before, just with his own hands. Yes, this is definitely something Xemnas not only did in the past, but on a regular basis. His hands remember the instinct of this.

“You’d led me down on purpose for this, hmn,” he hums to the silent one, while the damaged one has completely stiffened out of petrified helplessness. Understandably so, there’s a controlled laser going into his head- though he can’t feel it, it’s probably extremely disconcerting. The silent one nods, still gripping his friend into place as to not squirm and fuck this up. “Watching me for quite some time?” Again, he nods. Nexahs hadn’t really felt watched until today, so this Repliku was being very good at his job. “You are both very old models.” He rolls his eyes and nods again, but purses his lips like that’s an offensive thing to say. “Apologies- I just mean I did not think any of you survived.” Slowly, he looks down to the heavily damaged other. Suppose they didn’t all ‘survive’. “Could you ever speak?” He shakes his head, no. “I can fix this eye so it doesn’t _look_ bad- but not so that it will function. If you want better repairs, or to be completed- I hate to say this, as I’m certain he’s the cause of these issues, but we’d have to talk to Even, Vexen, about this.” They both stiffen to that, a hearty ‘no’ in their souls. “I know, it doesn’t sound ideal, but he’s a different person now. He’s… helpful? I think he’d be willing, since you’re both so convinced to be alive.”

The damaged one rasps, “He tore me apart in the first place.”

“A terrible situation, that. But- you’re both aware I am Ansem, yes.” They do both nod to that, and Nexahs pulls back his hands. With the damage skin repaired, his replica body washes over the damage in hologram, leaving the Repliku an almost normal looking face- beyond his dead, vacant eye that does not track alongside the functioning one. “And was I helpful when you knew me?” A slow headshake.

Pointing to his other, “He’s watched you since you got here to see if you were trouble.” Ha, he sounds so young. Not like replicas age… Well, not _these_ ones.

“Perhaps if you had a conversation with him, you might change your mind as you have changed you mind with me?”

“I didn’t even ‘want’ this,” he hisses, flicking up his head to gesture because his other arm is still bound behind him.

“Well, doesn’t it hurt less?”

Quietly, “Yes…”

“I could make your arm hurt less too. But I can’t put on a new one myself,” slowly, he reaches down to the remaining stump, like it’s been ripped off- and itched at, loose frayed wires litter the port. Again- the damage Repliku doesn’t seem interested in this touching, but the silent one nods, and asks politely in his quiet way that Nexahs might make the missing limb more manageable, tightening his grip. Nexahs is aware that despite his complaints, the damaged one isn’t actually making a massive effort to upend himself from the situation, his feared response it literally engrained from presumably trauma. Ahhh, Vexen, what have you done. What have ‘we’ done, to be honest. Delicately, Nexahs’ severs the leftover nerves there, leaving him a vacant stump- and once he doesn’t feel it, the Repliku visibly relaxes like a weight’s been lifted off him. “Yes, that must’ve been miserable,” Nexahs rumbles under his breath.

Nexahs doesn’t have a phone still and now, apparently, he needs to contact Even. Heading upstairs after that, they tuck the now tired damaged one in a basement room they’re apparently living in secret in, but the silent one follows him upstairs. Namine is at the ‘secret’ entrance, hands on hips, “Ah! I see my housemates have deigned to show you their presence. I don’t think I was supposed to let you go downstairs, though. That’s where the computers live,” she waggles an accusing finger. The Repliku gives her an apologetic look, since it was technically his fault, “Where’s your friend?”

“Downstairs still. I gave him some moderate repairs.”

Blinking, “Oh! That’s something you do?”

“I was quite well researched in Vexen’s work. Not perfect- and I can not make him a new limb, or eye. But he’s slightly more presentable now- but mostly, he isn’t in pain.”

“…. He was in pain?” She looks surprised and upset by this, eying to the Repliku that lingered behind Nexahs’. He gives her a soft, pained smile in response, having been unable to properly explain the situation, and his angry friend never helped either.

“Yes. Knowing Riku, his replica would hide it very well.”

Frowning deeply, “I… didn’t know.. or I would’ve maybe told someone sooner…”

“How long have they been here?” Nexahs glances back to the one behind him, and he looks up in time, curious, vacant air to him.

“A little bit after I moved in, they showed up. I guess I attracted them… I’m not sure entirely why. Neither of them are the ones I was ‘friends’ with before. This one is very nice anyways, though. His friend is… more…. spicy.”

The Repliku looks like he’s stifling a laugh, but no noise escapes him. Nexahs smiles softly as well, humoured in his tone, “Spicy is a way to put it. Namine- do you have a gummiphone.”

Blinking up at him in confusion, “Buh? I do- but why?”

“I don’t. And I’m going to need to get in contact with someone… that you, probably don’t have the number for… I can technically wait for Isa to come by…”

“I could call Isa for you. Or, are you meaning someone at the lab?.. Even, probably.” She purses her lips in thought. He’s the replica professional alright “I _do_ have Ienzo’s number, though I don’t remember the last time I called him….”

Namine has only called him once in all this time, however, when Pence was having an issue playing around with her computer, so it’s a bit awkward. It’s worse when he answers, a curious ‘oh, namine?’, and she has to ask to let Nexahs speak with Even instead, and he doesn’t really want to explain to everyone _why_ he wants to talk to Even, so the message is relayed with no severity. He’s no where nearby Ienzo and apparently very busy, but eventually they opt to give Namine his number instead of waiting, and she decides that the solution to Even ignoring them for whatever he’s working on by gathering up herself, Nexahs, and the silent Repliku to send him a selfie with no other context beyond this. Even calls them back less than a minute later.

“What is _that_.”

“A replica. There’s two of them here,” Nexahs hums, humoured at Even’s nervous tone.

“That- THAT, is, so _old, how is it functioning_ , I don’t understand-“

“Knowing Riku, sheer force of will. One of them is nearly in pieces but still manages to skitter around like a cat.”

“Oh, oh no….” Even’s tone shifts to misery at the thought, “His arm, and parts of his head?”

“Yes. Do you know this one?”

“It should be _DEAD,_ I don’t understand how it is functioning!” The silent one levels a very cold gaze on Nexahs to the words that Even uses.

“’He’ has decided to live, and very much has a personality. Perhaps, even, a heart, after having lived all this time on his own. Also- I didn’t know you made more than one….?”

“Oh- I mean-,” he stammers, “I, _appreciate_ that you think I managed to make a perfectly functioning replica my first try. I-, I’m sorry, I really am. Why call me about it, though? I doubt the two of them want anything to do with me, now…”

“Not really- but I’m hoping I might get this one an arm… and an eye, even if they don’t enjoy your presence.”

“I… I _can_ do that, definitely. Not _there_ , though. You would have to bring them _here_.”

Slowly, Nexahs looks to the Repliku, who frowns deeply to this, looking sidelong. Namine pats his thigh, “He’s not to bad anymore, really. He helped make _me,_ ” gesturing to herself, “You know I’m a replica, too.” He sighs silently, and nods, looking back to Nexahs.

Responding to Even, “I can bring them there. It’s probably about time for me to stop haunting this town, anyways.”

 

Before he leaves, however, there’s a few tasks on the shelf to deal with. Alternatively, the silent Repliku has to figure out how to convince the spicy one that leaving to get repaired is the best course of action, and that’s going to take a few days, at _least._ Namine suggests they spend at least a day sifting through Nexahs memories.

“I’m still not convinced that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, but since you’re leaving… It might be time to make up your mind.”

“Suppose.”

They’re out walking outside for once- trying to find Isa, and Xion, Namine suggests. In her own right, Xion is a different kind of ‘witch’ of memories; though she copies rather than converts. Nexahs wouldn’t mind seeing her again, an affection planted in his mind. Maybe he thinks they’re friends too? Maybe they just…are, friends. “Like I said. Nothing obligates me to put together or return what I find. And with Xion’s help, maybe I’ll be able to read through it better, so I can judge what to do with anything.”

“If you even find something you can manage to work with.”

“You think it’ll be too big of a mess? For _me_? After Sora’s scrambled eggs?”

“You had issues with that.”

“That’s because some big dummy made a replica to steal all the memories I was so dutifully attempting to put back together,” a gentle shove for his ignorance.

“Ah yes, so I did. I can’t deny that I’m curious to see what’s going on inside my head.”

“It can’t hurt.”

“So you think. I keep living to surprise people.”

She’d been texting Xion, so they find the quadfecta at the café, Roxas having finally been told of Nexahs being here, and being less than thrilled- but it’s been a week and a half. He knew something was up, so it wasn’t a complete surprise- but guys, come on… Nexahs? “And you too, Namine!” Roxas sighs, reclining so far back in his chair his spine cracks and he threatens to fall off the chair.

Xion whaps his side, “Oh stop that, you. You didn’t even notice! You lost your right to complain.”

Nexahs doesn’t mind- because apparently he’s won over the whims of the rest of them, and that’s good enough for him. A greeting nod to Isa, “Isa,” and then to Axel, but silently; the redhead returns the favor with a vague semblance of a smile. Lastly, to Xion, “Hello Xion, and how are you.”

“Good! Mostly,” she fails to tug Roxas back over, but when she lets go, he doesn’t expect the change in pressure, and his chair immediately tilts enough over that he slams into the floor with a hearty thunk and a muffled ‘SHIT’. “… That’s what you get!”

From the ground, as he opts to lay there for now, “Yeaaaah, yeah,” though with a laugh, Axel rises to help his ass back up to sitting.

Namine is stifling a laugh at these antics, “Yes, Roxas, even me. You should try to loosen up.”

“I refuse.”

“Suit yourself. Can I borrow Xion for a bit, please?”

Axel snrks, “Why you askin’ us? She’s her own girl.”

Already moving to stand moving to stand, Xion leans down to sit Roxas’ chair upright once Axel has him hoisted off the ground with a yelp. “Friendly formality! Uhh.. right?” Xion questions.

Isa nods, “Yes Xion, we’re all joking.”

Nodding to herself, “Ok good. I’ll be back in a bit!”

“Are you two going to tell us what you’re up too?”

Namine looks to Xion, “Uhhmm….”

She looks equally unsure, so Nexahs speaks. A peace offering. “Remember the other morning when we spoke of toying around with my memory?”

Isa nods, “Oh, yes. Going to give that a try, hmn? I feel obligated to ask if you’ll let me tag along then.”

“I think the less mixed signals in the room, the better. Sorry, Isa. I’ll keep you posted to how it goes, ok?” Namine smiles apologetically, but he doesn’t look offended.

“No, I understand. Stay out of trouble.”

“Can do!”

Xion adds, “Well, we can try… I’m still not sure how I’ll be of any help.”

“I’m not sure either! But I want to try some things,” she snags Xion’s hand, casually dragging her away.

“Welp!,” she is caught, so the free hand offers a wave to the trio remaining, Axel placing Roxas back on his chair, and Isa waving back in return, “I’ll be back later!”

 

There’s a room in the basement of the mansion for this, though Xemnas had never seen it himself, he’d heard of it. Xion spots a Repliku on the way down for the first time, but the silent one skitters back into hiding when he spots her. They explain anyways, and ask her to keep it on the downlow, but Namine trusts her entirely. Now the three of them stand in this sterile, white room, “I hope you don’t plan of stuffing me in any pods.”

“No, though I will need you to sleep, no chambers for you. Just a nice, comfy table,” she hums, dusting off a few shelves, but mostly grabbing more paper.

“Namine- I actually have to ask now. I don’t recall you haven’t an aptitude for the memories of, well… just anyone.”

“I was waiting for you to ask, honestly,” she laughs, shuffling him towards the table/bed, and dutifully he sits, since she doesn’t seem off put by his question. “It’s strange. I actually find I’ve been able to discern the memories of most people who had even just… spoken, with Sora. Even memories that don’t include him at all. I haven’t had a lot of opportunity to practice with it, yet, but while waiting for someone, I’d managed to convince a memory of someone Sora had barely spoken to, to rise up in battle despite his also being, well… not there.”

“Sounds a bit like you’re using me as an experiment.”

“Is that so bad?”

He shrugs, casually reclining down on the table with a sigh, “Suppose it’s my turn still, isn’t it?”

Xion srnks, simply watching this occur. “Still? Who else has been experimenting on you.”

“Ienzo and Ansem, for a bit, and possibly still.”

“Aw,” she actually sounds a bit saddened by that, “I hope not too much.”

“No, not too much. Or else they wouldn’t have let me leave at all, I’d think. Try not to fry my brain, alright Namine?”

“Any more then it’s already fried?”

“You could turn me into a vegetable, and you know it.”

“I won’t turn you into a vegetable! I can modify your memories- but not the etchings on your heart.” Setting up Xion and herself a chair beside, despite his teasing, Nexahs lays and relaxes, eying up at the two of them lingering above his head.

“Even though you’d just told me you might toy around with any of my memories, I actually do have an ulterior motive.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Can you find a memory of Sora?”

“You probably have lots of those, but it sounds like you’re meaning something more specific.”

“I mean a memory that _is_ Sora’s.”

Blinking, “What… What makes you think you have something like that in there?”

“A weird, instinctive feeling. And you should know well that often means something.”

Xion hums, “If you find one, you can always copy it to me for safekeeping.”

“I did plan on using you a bit like a jumper, since you’re so good at holding onto memories.”

“That’s basically what I thought I was signing up for.”

“Try not to think about them too hard,” he exhales a laugh, before sighing just a mote of worry. His memories aren’t kind to anyone. He’s done many, many terrible things in his life- not including like of ‘Xehanort’s he doesn’t actively remember.

“Relax. I’ve done worse than this before, on more constrained circumstances,” she smiles softly down to him, gently running hands through his hair and he stares back up. A weird feeling overcomes his brain; a wash of haziness that blurs the senses. Instinctively, at first he resists, but realizes what is occurring, and allows his eyes to flutter shut.

“Just like that?” Xion questions, blinking as Nexahs is suddenly very much unconscious.

“I mean, not quite ‘just like that’,” Namine exhales a laugh, a look of focus on her face as she pulls her sketchbook into her lap. Eyes vacant, she scribbles over it idly. “Mnnn, it’s not great.”

“No? That bad?”

“He was right. There’s, pieces everywhere. Someone’s gone through here already. You want to see if you can hold some of these for me?”

“Yeah, I, I can try!” But she swallows rough in her throat, looking down to the drawing Namine doesn’t even seem to be paying attention to doing. They go through a few different memories, mostly dead ends or unimportant situations, tying them together again, before Namine thinks she finds something buried deep in Nexahs’ conscious. As she draws this one, the page quickly becomes overcome with black, and a familiar ocean Xion knows well. However, the lines are starting to overlap, and it make even less sense than it was before.

Namine and Xion have memory shared before. Though, it was _their_ memories, and they were just sort of.. practicing! Playing, even. Something that only they could do and share. Actually using this for ‘useful’ means was strange, but not exactly unappealing. If they could perfect this memory comprehension, they might be able to help lots of people- specifically other Nobody who might be finding themselves with a jumbled mess in their heads when they awake like many of them had. Xion’s anxious they’re using Nexahs as a first trial, on account of her knowing his mind was a clusterfuck, but if Namine seems to think they can give in a good shot, she’s willing to go along with it.

Her mind washes over with a scene similar to Namine’s drawings; the dark realm, the blackest ocean. She’s been there before, so this isn’t a surprise- but why is this something Nexahs isn’t remembering? Someone is there- a flash of white takes over the sky, and two figures float there, looking down to them on the sanded beach below. Them! The two of them, Xemnas and Ansem, separated. Who are those figures in the sky? They’re too bright, they’re too washed out in the abyssal sky to make out.

“Xion?”

Shaking her head out violently, she reorients into reality. “Ouh, w-, whoops. Sorry- where were we?”

A soft laugh, “What did you see? I don’t understand what I drew here.”

“Uhh… The dark realm, and Nexahs- well, no… Xemnas, and Ansem, separated. I guess that’s why they don’t remember.”

“Ohhh,” she looks down at her page. Two layers of it- the lines overlap incomprehensible, but when Namine knows its from two points of view, it makes sense. “Maybe before they were reformed? But if they were separate, I wonder who put them… together.” There’s that emptiness in the sky as well, where the two impossibly bright figures block out the darkness.

“I’m not sure! I saw figures in the sky- but they were too washed out and white. I couldn’t even try to figure who they were.”

“Two figures?” Namine taps on her page, to the white space she’s avoided colouring in earlier. They don’t look much like figures on her end, but. It’s blurred between the two visions.

“Yeah…”

“Weird. Not Sora, though, so, not what I’m looking for, huh… Hold onto that anyways, and we can tell Nexah’s after..” Namine’s eyes grow vacant again, gaze listing off to the side. “Ok, wait a second here actually,” so she does, waiting to receive and see.

It doesn’t come, however. Slowly, Namine raises her hands, hovering them them over Nexahs’ head, and a mirror is forming between her fingers, growing wider as she pulls her hands apart. Xion just watches, mysified- this is not something she’s done before, usually drawing out the memories she plays with. “Namine… what are you doing….”

“I found… something…uh….” Her gaze is unfocused, a sweat forming on her brow. Desperately trying to hold this thing she’s forming together, but Xion watches this mirror cracks at the edges of her trembling fingers, spidering across in impossibly numerable fragments. For a moment, Xion starts to feel that connection to share, and she opens her mind to accept- but Namine balks, “W-w, WAIT,” but there’s no stopping it once it comes. Like white hot fire, Xion’s mind is overcome with blinding, unending light, flaring out her vision. Overwhelmed, she screams in pain, instinctively pushing out her legs and vaulting out of her chair. Other than the feeling blaring out her vision, a shatter resounds through her ears, flecks of pain hitting her bare arms as she attempts to cover her eyes from the light; but that is to no avail, the light is inside of her mind. Xion can’t see through this memory burning into her retinas, but she still hears, and when she’s done revolting in her pain, the equally pained cry of Namine rings through her conscious. Even though she still can’t seem to _see,_ Xion scrambles to her feet, blindly feeling around for Namine on the ground. A few swipes across the floor, and she finds her, curled up on herself.

“Ah-! Namine- what happened?”

Trembling, “I don’t know. That… I don’t know what that was, or what I was trying to do with it.”

“What’s wrong,” Namine is recoiling her arms to Xion’s grasping, “I can’t see.”

“Oh no- I’m so sorry! I tried to pull it back before it hit you- but it was so unstable.”

“It’s fine- I’m fine, what’s wrong with you, are you hurt.”

“Ahh…yes, I am definitely, hurt,” but she laughs through her pain, sighing and struggling to stand. Despite both of them screaming and the shattering glass, Nexahs is still unconscious, but Xion hears a door open. “Ah! Silent- yeah, no, it went poorly.” Who is she talking to? It’s obvious she is speaking to someone- but the other person isn’t responding. Xion is so sad and confused. “I don’t know what happened- can you, can you grab my phone for me? Yeah- and, yes, dial Isa for me. Thank you.”

“What? Is something wrong with your hands,” Xion peeps, tucking her arms back to her chest so she doesn’t grab an injury accidentally.

“Yes… something like a mirror, or a shard… It shattered in my hands,” she is trying desperately to hide the sound of her pain, but now that its setting it, it’s definitely…uncomfortable. All up her hands and forearms, like shards of literal glass, this strange physical memory fragment _exploded,_ leaving her skin quite shredded. Not to mention the blowback, when she’d attempted to cut off Xion, she’s forced some of these fragments and perhaps touches of herself back into Nexahs as well. Mumbling as she waits for Isa to answer his phone, the Repliku holding it up to her, “So much for staying out of trouble….”

Isa didn’t think it would go splendidly, but he didn’t think the blowback would be on the two girls. Nexahs isn’t awake by the time him and the rest of the trio arrive, and everyone gets the surprise of a Repliku who was not interested in leaving the injured Namine’s side, shaking in the fear of strangers but still dutifully bandaging her hands. Xion still can’t see either, a headache setting into her head, but she’s convinced the vision will return in time.

“I saw the memory of that light for just a second,” she sighs, “It’s like staring at the sun, I think. That dot sticks around in your vision for a while, but instead it was my… whole vision.”

Axel rumbles, barely over his breath, “You know if you do that, sometimes the dot’ll burn in there forever.”

Roxas punches him in the arm for that, “Don’t say that! It’ll go away, I’m sure,” laying a hand on Xion, she startles at the contact, unable to parse when things are coming. “Whoops, shit, sorry.”

“No- it’s ok, maybe just, leave your hand there for me, ok?” Something else about this memory in her mind; she’s feeling pathetically lonely, touch starved and pitiful. Whose memory was this. Nexahs? It doesn’t feel like Nexahs. If anything, it feels kind of like… Sora. Somehow, it’s pinging ‘Sora’ in her mind. That’s… concerning. Roxas does leave his hand there at her request, even moving over to press against the side of her, curling an arm around the back of her neck as she sits and he stands.

With calm coaxing, Isa gets the Repliku enough away, that he can see Namine’s injuries better. Commanding, but still gentle, “Tell me exactly what happened.”

Namine is still trying to deal with her pain, but nods as Isa looks over her bandaged arms. No actual glass to pick out, just the cuts. “He’d asked me to find a memory of Sora in him. Not a memory of his of Sora- but a memory belonging to Sora.”

Raising an eyebrow, “Why did he think he had that?”

“I don’t know, he just said he felt it.”

Xion interjects, weakly, “It was.”

“I thought so. I just, I found this weird.. shard, like a mirror. I tried to take it out to store it, but it was so critically unstable. The moment it wasn’t housed, it… well, shattered, physically. I don’t understand what happened at all.”

Isa shakes his head, nose wrinkling in distaste, “Neither do I. Nexahs might, or Even and Ienzo, but,” he looks to Nexahs, prone on the table. Still breathing, but very much unconscious. More than unconscious. He is ‘gone’.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaah...trans feelings....

Everything is white. Unsure of how long he’s been here, wherever ‘here’ is, whether that be short or infinitely long- Nexahs floats in uncertain, unknown luminescence. There’s nothing to see around him, even he could even see past the brightness, just an endless, hellish pale purgatory- wait.

“Sora.” Has he been there the whole time? Nexahs gaze blurs from the light around him, to the figure in front of him- was that Sora? He can hardly see past the backlit encompassing him, but Nexahs’ heart seems to think it is.

“Heya!”

Blinking- Nexahs looks down to the boy, and he seems no worse for wear. No, wait- his eyes, two piercing, desperate golden hues that shake Nexahs core. In this endless expanse of white, of light, Sora’s darkness is a piercing feeling in his heart. Equally, however, Nexahs begins to feel that similar, familiar creeping darkness inside of himself. At first, it scares him- but he realizes it’s stopping his body from being consumed by this ever-present light that surrounds them. “What are you doing.”

“I don’t know- what are yooooou doing,” a tongue bleps from Sora’s mouth, squinting as he looks up. “This is new, though, so I’m impressed! I didn’t think you learned new tricks.”

Raising an eyebrow, Nexahs tilts his head in confusion, “Learn new tricks?”

“Ohh, ho ho, you think you’re so sneaky, huh.”

“I’m not trying to be sneaky.”

“Yeah, ‘course you’re not,” floating about, Sora does a full circle around, looking him over. “Hmnn… Something about you seems… not quite right. Are you Ansem? Xemnas? Could you not decide which one you wanted to make?”

Nexahs does not understand what he’s implying at all. He watches Sora as he floats around him, confused, “My name is Nexahs. I’m Xemnas’ somebody.” Well, not exactly, but that’s a much easier way to put it for the time being.

“Huh?” Stopping his inspection, Sora looks up and equally confused, “Wouldn’t that just be Xehanort?”

“You would think that’s how that would have went, but it did not. Instead, the universe made something new.”

“Cool! I didn’t think you made ‘new’ things.”

“Sora, where are you.” Subconsciously, Nexahs is aware _he_ isn’t actually here- just a projected self, in a dream. This Sora though, feels quite real and in place.

“Here!”

“Where is here.”

His tone shifts so violently, so dark and _sharp, **“HERE.”**_ It echoes far in their void, resounding endlessly. Again, that gold, pained gaze pierces through Nexahs’ being so far, he feels a pang in his chest, sharing with him a feeling of absolute, dire hopelessness.

“Alright,” he hums, nodding to himself from that response. “Let us leave, then.”

“Leave? There’s no leaving.”

“Oh, there always is. Do you want to leave?”

“Oh, I’m far past that. But sure! You want to play a game, I’ll play,” again, he seems Sora ‘cheery’, but something about it is off-kilter. Not genuine.

“It isn’t a game.”

Throwing his hands behind his head, “Sure it isn’t. Just go for it, man! I said I’ll play.”

Realizing he isn’t winning this argument, Nexahs stares off in the white-cast void, swallowing as he thinks. Can you… _Can_ we open a corridor at all, let alone in a, if not _the_ , realm of pure light? He’s not afraid the darkness will pierce inside- this light is so powerful, so blinding. It holds no risk of corruption. But, Nexahs and the darkness aren’t really on great terms at the moment. Then again, he hasn’t recently tried. Closing his eyes, he concentrates so focused on that darkness in his heart, in his body. In his body- that is where this darkness lies, something someone has left for him deep inside. Nexahs has no idea how long it takes, but Sora seems endlessly patient, waiting, perhaps even offering Nexahs a battery of some of his own darkness. Startling, there’s a squeak from the young man as, eventually and somehow, a corridor _does_ open, but it’s stuttering and unsurprisingly unsteady here. Feeling the power overflowing past this dreaming form and into his reality, Nexahs knows he can’t hold this, and snags Sora by an arm, violently flinging him into the realm of darkness. He can get into the realm of darkness, readily, along with several people he knows. Something to work with. Once he blinks out of this dream of pure, radiant light, Nexahs doubts he will ever be able to return.

 

Dead in the water, Nexahs brain ‘off’, his heart and mind vacant, but alive. Almost as if his conscious had just gotten up and… left. A day later and he continues to rise for nothing, so after they get Namine settled down with Roxas and Axel, Isa packs up the promised Repliku’s for Even, and Xion who unfortunately still can’t see, dragging their reluctant sad selves to Radiant Garden.

They land directly in front of the lab, greeted immediately by Ansem who has heard the whole story over phone, “When will this man stop giving me heart attacks,” he questions Isa as he lands, attempting humour.

Desperate for some relief from stress, Isa actually does manage to joke back at him, “In my experience, never. This is the life we lead now. Constantly getting fucked with by some incarnation of Xehanort, still,” hoarsely in his throat, “ _Nothing has changed_ ,” he shakes a fist.

Laughing low and pained to that, Ansem enters the gummi ship to see if he can’t coax out the Repliku’s, because Isa isn’t leaving Nexahs alone at this point, and opts to even carry the half-dead man to Ienzo’s office himself. Xion is also sticking with Ansem for now, and that actually helps the Repliku situation, because they seem to enjoy her as much as they enjoy Namine. The silent one makes himself a good seeing eye dog in the meantime.

Ienzo is so miserably unprepared for this, rubbing his face furiously before opting to lean down on his desk, face pressed to crossed forearm as Isa enters. Straightening himself, he wordlessly gestures to a nearby bed-set nearby, and Isa lays his unconscious man there. Mumbling a, “Thank you,” before joining him at Nexahs’ side, Ienzo pulls out a massive book to set beside him on the bed. “Memory is more of a… Even, thing,” he hums, flicking through pages, his other hand alighting with magic. “He’s occupied though, correct?”

Isa raises an eyebrow, tilting his head down at the younger man. Was magic still a thing he did? Apparently so, but he doesn’t look particularly happy about it. “Yes. Even is repairing two Replica Riku’s that Namine happened upon. Honestly though, Ienzo, Nexahs can wait for Even if he needs too, he hasn’t been doing much-“

“No, unfortunately, I’m worried to let it wait longer. Not after Namine explained what happened,” he sighs, face warped in discomfort as he works his magic; picking out broken shards of memory and storing them in his lexicon. “Really, only Namine would do this perfectly,” he mumbles, barely over his breath.

Concerned, “That doesn’t look comfortable.”

“It isn’t. Don’t tell Ansem I’m doing it. It’s black magic, dark. But the longer I let these shards destroy his mind, the worse it will be to heal or repair later. He has enough brain issues as it is.”

Eyebrows furrowed, Isa relents and takes a step back, eying the doorway, but Ansem should be occupied for the time being. In silence, Ienzo meticulously wanders around Nexahs’ mind, pulling out shards of this mysterious entity that Xion insists was Sora. There’s so many pieces, some so infinitesimally small that Ienzo isn’t sure how anyone could parse this to be anything. Even when he takes the pieces and places them in order in his book, it’s nothing more than copied chicken scratch nonsensically on the pages. Nothing he can even sort of form a card to.

Even after Ienzo pulls out everything he can, Nexahs does not stir from his sleep. “I don’t know what’s wrong now. Nothing should be stopping him from rising,” his tone is uncharacteristically rumbling, his heart edged with the darkness he channelled before. Not overcome, but definitely influenced by.

Isa gives him understanding patience in response, “It’s not too damaged?”

“No. He’s, miraculously, hardly scarred at all. Namine must’ve held somewhat together for his sake. Something else has his consciousness,” he hums, tilting his head back and forth in thought, knuckles resting barely beneath his chin.

“.. Sleeping, hmn,” Isa approaches, looking over Nexahs; a hand grips onto his face, a thumb brushing up an eyelid to peer at his one golden eye, and it is dull and vacant. Squinting down at him, “… are you dropped?”

Ienzo give him a curious look, “Dropped?.... Into a sleep?”

“… Maybe? It’s a weird, instinctive suspicion.”

“It.. would be _an_ answer, albeit a strange and unlikely one. It’s as if his mind is completely elsewhere,” he muses, rubbing the underside of his jaw in thought. “But where would he drop too?”

As if he hears them speaking about him, Nexahs body jolts ‘awake’, startling the hell out of both them a step or two away from the bedside. Or, not ‘awake’, eyes still squeezed shut; his body shudders, thrashes in apparent strain. Mouth opening agape to vocalize this pain, but the sound chokes back in his throat, simply snapping shut and open with a clack of teeth. Now neither Ienzo or Isa have any fucking clue what is happening, so they can only wait for whatever this outburst is to blow over- or rather that would have been the preference, but instead, Nexahs body begins to _overflow_ darkness. It rolls over the bedside in thick strings like impossibly thick fog; Isa barks to Ienzo, “What did you do-“

“I didn’t do anything! This is completely unrelated to what I was doing!” He immediately defends himself, knowing full well he isn’t lying, even accidentally. A thought- his lexicon is still out, and Ienzo makes a desperate attempt to transplant any amount of that overflowing darkness in the pages of his book instead.

He’s still ‘asleep’, but Nexahs creaks, “stOP, I, I need this, to do, _please stop-!”_ Barely cognizant, his bleary begging stops Ienzo in his tracks, but he doesn’t give up entirely.

“No! You will _not_ fall to darkness again you _idiot, fool..!_ ” Furious at this, the younger man just, whacks him _hard_ with his book, in the chest, several times- and the darkness subsides. Blinking in confusion, “… that worked?”

It all happened so quickly, Isa hardly registers what has occurred. Rather staying out of Ienzo’s way, but as the darkness disappears as suddenly as it had appeared, he approaches to lay a hand across Nexahs chest. He’s still heaving, strained from whatever exertion this was, drifting in and out of consciousness- but he is, at least, occasionally conscious. Back to his body. Turning to the flabbergasted Ienzo, Isa rasps, “I’m not sure that was something you did. Perhaps he required darkness in his sleep?”

“… And what- he pulled it from his body- yeah,” Ienzo immediately nods to that thought, “That, yes absolutely.”

“… But what were you doing,” Isa hums to the man beneath him, whose gaze flicks weakly up at him, but not quite cognizant enough of the situation. Now that he’s awake, ish… _what, what did I do?_

Mumbling, Nexahs swallows and looks up in absolute confusion between the two of them. “Whu-, where, where am I…?”

Isa replies, “The lab. Something happened when Namine was looking through your memory.”

“… Namine was what?” Oh boy, he is lost and confused. Blinking each eye separately, looking around the lab room, and then between Isa and Iezno. “… Zexion? _Aren’t you dead_...” He mumbles, incorrectly recalling what time he was in.

“Ffff- damnit,” Ienzo just turns away from that situation, covering his face with his lexicon as he moves to hide it away once more.

“You are very confused,” Isa remarks, equally displeased by that answer. Ultimately, however- he isn’t speaking or acting like Xemnas, neither in tone or the way he looks about curiously, so Isa is at least not concerned he has fallen apart. Just, confused. “What’s your name?”

“Xemnas.”

“Think about it harder.”

“…Uhh…” Squinting, he does think about it… However, all he sees is a sea of white. “… Sora…”

“ _Don’t tell me you think your name is Sora_ -“

“No-,” he snrks, “No, I mean… What about Sora, mind,” he closes his eyes, tapping his forehead to see if he can’t physically jostle his thoughts. Eyebrows furrowing. “… Somewhere bright… but not anymore…”

“Yes? Tell me more about these thoughts, since it seems apt to be leaving you.”

Propping himself up on his elbows to sit up just a touch, Nexahs raises a hand to rub the underside of his jaw, “Mnn.. I guess I found Sora.”

Isa raises an eyebrow to that, and Ienzo turns back to listen as well. “You found Sora… in your dream?”

“Was I dreaming? Is that why it feels so distant?”

Ienzo interjects, “Well, it also could be that this memory fragment of Sora exploded in your head.”

“Oh, very inconvenient. And Namine?”

“You remember Namine now?”

“No, I don’t remember letting Namine into my memories, but you mentioned it earlier.”

“Ah, very well. She’s fine enough, but something that happened to you might have also blinded Xion.”

“Oh no,” he looks _very_ concerned by this, absolutely not Xemnas. “It was a..n overwhelmingly light place, I understand why it might have. You, uhh… might need to remove the light.. from her eyes, I might guess?”

Ienzo nods, “I.. can do that. And how do you think you survived without going blind, hmn?”

“I am full of darkness.”

“That you are. You gave us a start when you started to channel it violently,” Isa sighs.

“Oh, apologies. I was using it to open a corridor.” He isn’t actually ‘remembering’ this, he’s simply speaking from his heart.’

Setting down his hands on the bed beside, Ienzo muses, “… In a realm of pure light, you opened a corridor to darkness? No wonder that was so violent.”

“It worked, though. I think I must have thrown Sora through it.”

Incredulously, Ienzo questions, “You found Sora- and immediately threw him into the realm of darkness?”

“We can get to the realm of darkness. We could not get into this realm of light. It seemed like a reasonable compromise. However- I can’t be sure this has actually occurred until I go to the realm of darkness myself and find whatever I think I might have thrown in there.”

Isa sighs, “You are not going into the realm of darkness.”

“Why not?”

“Remember before? When Xigbar took you through a short corridor- it nearly consumed you.”

His gaze grows dark, eying the floor in frustration, “But who else will know where to look?”

“Do you know where to look?”

“I will when I get there.”

Isa rests a hand on his chest, and forces Nexahs back into laying, “No. We can tell King Mickey, and he can find someone else to look for what you might have left here, be it Sora or some entity imitating him. Or, maybe you’ll get lucky and Xigbar will show up, and you can ask him.”

Mumbling, Nexahs doesn’t have the energy to resist, “But they won’t know where to look…”

 

Well, Nexahs did say he would have to stop haunting Twilight Town and return home. He was hoping it would be in better circumstances, but things have a habit of not going entirely the way he wants them too. At the very least, it seems his two-week vacation after destroying Demyx has let things settle down effectively- he’s no longer under any kind of house arrest, and no one seems terrifying mad with him. He has learned his lesson. Also, Isa made good effort to speak with everyone about the matter to settle minds. Nexahs isn’t about to kill anyone. Just be chill.

Once Ienzo knows what to do to fix Xion, he removes a disturbing amount of excess light from her mind and ‘eyes’, and her vision returns, albeit with a headache and lingering sense of existential dread that is taking more time to abate. She returns home with Isa, not mad at her at all for the circumstances, though she’s sad she let him down- but they agree neither her or Namine was to blame and that sometimes things like this just happen. She’s not blind, Namine’s hands are healed back home, and Nexahs is walking around about as cognizant of life as he was before everything went down. And now, apparently, Sora or something like Sora is perhaps somewhere they can reach. Xion actually agrees- she feels it, feels Sora; even distantly. Before, it was nothing. Now, it’s an inkling, a remote feeling of ‘there’ness.

The next morning, feeling remarkably spry and now extremely _focused on something_ , Nexahs decides to haunt Even as he is repairing the old Repliku’s. Even, at first, thought it would be simpl-, but he forgets how old and outdated these models are, how much he did not build them to… last. Even the one that was thought to be in good health was in a need of a tune-up if he was going to keep functioning healthily. Equally, however, both of them are like working with _feral_ _cats,_ and when he catches one, the other makes himself a massive pain to deal with.

“I am trying to _HELP_ you, and you continue to- **STOP THAT** ,” this is a good time for him to walk in, Nexahs thinks- and perfect it is, because he snaps an hand down just in time to catch the spicy one attempting to remove himself from the room. As he enters, the room is a few degrees colder than the hall was, Even frosting over his frustration.

“Back you go,” despite his complaining, Nexahs drags the Repliku back in- and to his credit, Even does have another arm back on him! However, it’s stark white, and isn’t… working, just laying limply at his side. “This one is Spicy,” Nexahs rumbles, gaze falling slow to the Repliku as he fails to wriggle out of his grasp.

“Yes- and the other is ‘Silent’, I am told, but won’t let me _fix_ that issue,” Even waves a dismissive hand to the other one sitting in a nearby chair- and he shakes his head ‘no’, firmly. “Fine! Fine- we’re over that, you can stay over there being whatever you are! You- spicy one, come back here.”

Rumbling, the one caught in Nexahs grasp barks at his other, “Oh, you can be mute, but what if I don’t want an arm anymore!” He rolls his eyes in response, looking to Even, and then Nexahs.

Even responds, shrill, “Because you _do_ want an arm, you _heathen_.”

“I see both your eyes are working now. How is depth perception feeling?” Nexahs asks, looking back down at his capture.

Blinking up at him, the previously damaged eye is a shiny new cyan compared to the dull other. “It’s… fine.” Aw, he actually sounds a little timid, genuine.

Smiling down softly in response, Nexahs steps forwards to drag and sit the struggling Repliku back up on Even’s table. “I came to visit at the right time, apparently.”

“He never _sits still,”_ Even chastises, tugging the captured replica closer so he can start fussing around with this damned arm that his old body refuses to TAKE.

Immediately, the Repliku is flinching under their grasps, not just because he is still 100% not about being touched, but also, “… Is it because it tickles?” Nexahs hums, still holding him in place by the functioning arm.

A particularly heated ‘snrk’ as he attempts to stifle an obvious ticklish response, “N- nO.”

Even remarks under his breath, not humoured by this, “You severed the nerves so it doesn’t _hurt_ , but it has to tell his brain _something.”_

“Whoops,” Nexahs shrugs, but what else would he have done?

“No, I would’ve done the same thing before I started toying around. You’d be even more annoyed if this hurt.”

“N- no, actually! I’m used- ahhhhGG- I’m USED to hurt!” He tries not to squirm, because a part of him is a little intimidated by ‘Ansem’ in the room. He knows it’s Nexahs, it’s been explained to him, but.

Mumbling, Even doesn’t pause in his working, but, “I’m sorry.”

“You better be!” The Repliku is unapologetically ruthless.

“The sooner I figure out why your body won’t take this new arm, the better I can send you on the next gummiship back to Twilight Town where you’d rather be- so _quit squirming_!”

Eventually, Even does manage to dumb down his new tech enough that the limb connects in a way where the limb moves, functions and feels, but the hologram refuses to transfer over, so he just.. has one, doll white arm now. At least he doesn’t seem to give a single fuck about that and is overjoyed just to have a limb to grab, or do other things with. The first thing he deign to us it for is punching Even in the ribs, and before they can catch him, he punches his friend that dragged him here against his will for good measure. He’s nearly about to assault Nexahs’ too- but catches that look in his eyes, and decides… not, to punch ‘Ansem’. When Nexahs goes over to help Even back up from his being punched, the two of them disappear- quite literally. Not just from the room- but apparently, from the entire facility.

“They can probably travel corridors,” Nexahs slowly looks around to the now vacant room.

Holding his pained side, “Hng- I didn’t build them to be able to do that.”

“You didn’t build them to do many things they’re doing.”

“I hope I didn’t unleash some hellfire tyrant into the wilderness like that. I fixed them both up- the silent one less so, but enough they should lead, hnn, significantly longer lives.”

“Well, you can always help more later, too.”

Rubbing his side and glaring sidelong, “I’m almost inclined not to help anymore… almost,” Even sighs, nose wrinkling in distaste. “And what due honors do I receive you in my presence, Nexahs? You haven’t decided to have a singular conversation with me since you got here, and then left, and now returned again, so I only assume you just want something particular from me.” Apparently, Even still isn’t exactly a fan of him. That’s ok though, he’s right, they haven’t spoken much yet. Not on purpose- and he doesn’t mean to come to him now with a use for him. Maybe he’ll warm up like everyone else has so far? Nexahs has… offerings. To Isa’s credit, while they were packing up his corpse yesterday, they also grabbed all 22 stacks of paper he’d drawn on over the course of the weeks. Some of it is garbage- but some of it will be… very handy, with new information considered.

“Ah- I thought you were more of a man of business and less of casual conversation, forgive me. Are you still up to having… some fun?”

..Squinting, “I.. need you to be, far less vague than that.”

“I’ve been playing around with some thoughts recently, and after you’d helped us convert that nobody ship into something sea-worthy, I was thinking about,” he tilts his head back and forth, taking a moment to judge Even’s response. He looks definitely interested. A little reserved, sure, but Nexahs is feeding him a tidbit of ‘fun science’, which he has been severely lacking lately. Old habits die hard! “Way backw hen, ‘Xemnas’ and you were in the process of programming a Nobody type for Xion, when you and Zexion went and died at Castle Oblivion.”

“..yes, that is a thing that occurred,” he replies _very_ dryly.

“Do you want to?”

Blinking, “Do I want to… Do we want to make a nobody for Xion?... Does she _want one_?”

“I don’t know, I probably could’ve asked that when she was here yesterday. I think, rather, it might just be a shame to have all that data and to not even see if it could work. I don’t know if you remember, but it had a very interesting ability.”

“Oh- oh, I do remember,” he nods to himself furiously, wandering over to his computer to pull up some schematics- he has held onto all his old data, all of everything he could scrape by to recover, and now even has some of ‘Xemnas’s to work with as well. He stops, however, swallowing roughly, and looking back to Nexahs, “I mean…. should we?”

“There’s no real harm in it. It’s not as if it increases the Nobody numbers, and its not like the converted ones are finding themselves more difficult to work with. Especially if they’re mirroring Xion- they’ll be quite tame.” Well, ignoring those times Xion wanted to fistfight people.

Even still doesn’t look completely convinced, but he does keep looking back to his research. “We, we never finished the code for this back then, we never had the time. It would take time to fill out the disparity-“

“Actually, I’ve spent the last six days finishing it.. from memory though, so you’ll have to look it over.”

Incredulously, he looks to him, “In six days, you think you finished all that _, from memory_?”

“It was literally all I was doing- and you know nobody, and honestly, all kinds of conversation was a _thing_ I, ‘we’ did, excessively.” Xemnas was an expert at converting noboby, but ‘Ansem’, Xehanort really, was an expert at converting heartless.

“Aren’t you not supposed to be, how did Iezno put it… ‘doing the _science_ ’,” he sneers, turning back around to face him, resting ass on the edge of his console.

“I….wasn’t,” but Nexahs nose is wrinkling in near embarrassment at being ‘caught’, persay. “I didn’t actually do it, so it doesn’t count.”

“I feel like this _absolutely_ counts.”

“Once you see how I’ve transcribed the information from my brain, I don’t think you’ll be as inclined to that opinion,” he laughs, lowly, which Even does not like. “Oh, don’t be like that. Yes, I am funny now.”

“You know- Ienzo Isa, Dilan- said they ‘weren’t sure who you were’, Ansem, Xemnas, the old man- but I know _exactly_ who you are.”

Tilting his head in confusion, Nexahs hums a curious, questioning tone, “Oh? Is that right?”

“You, are ‘Xehanort’, that plucky young scientist who appeared amnesiac on our doorstep some many years ago. True hearted and soft spoken- at **_first._** Very eager to learn, and sharply intelligent- like a _knife_ , though, and when used improperly, you’d cut us all, hmn? But, at first, you were just like this. Coming up to us with wide eyes and wild ideas, unknown to any of us how badly it would spiral into darkness.”

“That is an unfortunately thing that did occur,” Nexahs gaze drifts to the floor.

“So,” he gestures a hand, “You can comprehend my apprehension.”

“Well- this time, you think you have the foresight to use the knife properly?”

“I’m not sure I do. I’m not always sure I know what we did to use it wrong in the first place. Here- show me how you think you’ve solved the conversion error in Xion’s nobody type, because you have gotten me curious. And then I can decide if I know what end of the knife to hold yet.”

Even hates when Nexahs reappears with a stack of papers so high in his arms he can barely see over it- and a sorcerer behind him with _three more,_ balanced precariously on floating cubes. “Nexahs…why….”

“It’s not science if it’s on paper with crayons.”

“ _CraYONS_?” he shrills, snagging a sheet off the top to spy it, “WHY.”

“It’s all Namine gave me,” which is a lie, she offered real pens, but he never took them, “And suppose it made it feel less… official? Less…science,” he nods to himself, placing the stacks on a work table nearby.

 Even is already pawing through it, grumbling the entire time, “You actually did this from memory. They said your memory was sparse!”

“Sometimes it is, and sometimes it really… isn’t. Remember how you received the information from Xemnas’ computer in the first place.”

“Hhnn, suppose.” Nexahs can almost feel a palpable excitement from the other man. Tilting his head back towards Nexahs, "Well, help me transfer this into something even _remotely legible_.”

“But I thought no science-“

Even cuts him off, “Sshhh- shh, you. It’s too late, you’re already doing the science, you heathen,” he jabs a finger in his location, much to Nexahs humour, a low rumbling laugh escaping him to those distantly familiar antics of Vexen in his memory. “Well, glad to see you’re feeling better,” Even sighs, looking up at Nexahs with, what is that, a mote of worry?

Tilting a curious head, Even’s sentiment feels a bit like it comes out of no where. “And how are you feeling?”

Even is just as curious to that response, “I mean, beyond being punched recently?”

“Suppose I meant in general. I think I’m finding you harder to read than others. I thought you were still mad with me, but now you’re glad I’m feeling better?”

He laughs at Nexahs naivety, not mockingly, “I’m not mad with you, my apologies. Nervous, sure, but it’s easier now that I can see you’re _not_ Xemnas.”

“You were that afraid of Xemnas?” An honest question. Strangely, when he thinks of ‘Xemnas’ opinion on Vexen, he finds himself somewhere around ‘fond’, perhaps though just because he was _very_ good at his job.

“Perhaps. I’d like to think we all were.”

More ‘Xemnas’ thoughts come to him as he thinks of it, eyes half lidding as his gaze pushes to the left, “I was… ‘he’, was… ‘sad’, when you and Zexion did not return. As sad as Xemnas became for anything.”

“Probably mourning the loss of good help, hmn? Rather ‘disappointed’ than sad.”

“That could easily be it.”

“… Didn’t think you were terribly interested in recalling those past memories.”

Blinking, he shakes out his head when he reorients, “It depends on the memory. I don’t mind recalling anything akin to emotion he might have felt back then, as its fun to remind myself that it did, occasionally, occur.”

“Do you mind if I ask you a question of ‘him’?”

“Go ahead.”

“Do you remember what he offered me?” Even tones it like he should easily remember this, even without context, but he does not… not immediately, at least.

Nexahs takes a long moment to sift through his mind once more. “… Other than the chance to continue to research unimpeded by remorse?”

Even forgot that that was also something he might hear. Nose wrinkling, “Yes, other than that.”

…squinting, “Did we… do something to your Nobody form?” That seems like a distantly familiar thought.

He nods, looking more pleased with that answer. “Yes, we did. You didn’t tell me you’d help until after you’d ‘killed’ us- I didn’t think it was a possibility, so I never asked. You, or ‘Xemnas’, rather, offered to ‘help’ once we were settled into nobody-ness.”

“… You’re not a nobody anymore.”

“No, I am not,” and he sighs, replacing the pages he was skimming over to their piles. Folding his arms over his chest, his gaze falls to the floor.

“… It went back, hmn.”

“And stayed that way even as I rejoined the organization.”

Nexahs pauses a moment to think, a rough noise exhaling from his throat, “I can’t… fix that now, anymore. Not without destroying you. Somebodies don’t… yeah.”

“No, I know. I’m sorry-“ he waves a dismissive hand, face scrunching as he turns back towards his console, “I don’t- I don’t know why I brought it up. I didn’t mean to imply I thought you could help ‘fix’ it again.”

“I think I understand where you’re coming from. When I did this for you- what did you promise in return.”

Another sigh, “Unending loyalty.”

Nexahs exhales a laugh, which has Even turning to face him again, incredulous, “No- sorry, I mean. Once you returned to ‘before’, the loyalty ended, albeit unlikely on purpose.”

“Ah- no, that was not… intended- hell, I hope I did not relate that. I hope, I would have betrayed you regardless.”

“I do agree with that. That even small connection to your heart gave you what you needed to see the truth. If you want me to say it- if you even care, let it be known you owe me no ‘unending loyalty’ for what I did for you under your personal distress. I did this to you, not for your sake- but for my own gain. Now- if I had the choice, I would help in a heartbeat… But I know well it is not possible.”

A soft, hoarse laugh, “I appreciate that thought, really, but I’m.. less mad about it than I thought I would be? At first- it was incredibly frustrating, but now I’m just…” Crossing his legs, “I don’t _mind_ what I’ve been given. Suppose it’s a bit relatable to you- your body now, given to you. Do you miss what you had?”

“I…. yes, a little sometimes, though I’m not sure how interested I’m in implying this,” Nexahs gestures to himself, “Is comparable to your own situation.”

“Well, _I’m_ implying it. Did you feel pressured to be what you were ‘destined’ to be? But perhaps, you’d rather just be.. yourself.”

Nexahs lets them linger in a long silence to that thought. “He…. Did….. He did want to be himself,” ‘him’, Xemnas, and even Ansem. “… And I do, too.” he nods, and slowly, reaches over to lay a hand over Even’s back. He flinches at first, not expecting the contact, but relaxes back down, humming.

“So really. I’m fine. I just wanted to get that off my chest on… someone. And I don’t know who else would understand but someone who’d helped me ‘fix’ myself in the first place.”

“Understandable. Distantly though- it’s not as if this situation was or is unknown to any else in the laboratory back then.”

“No- despite my best efforts,” he laughs, before rubbing his face furiously to attempt to dislodge from of the anxiety in his body. “So- to wildly change the subject, shall we do some work to attempt to get this off my mind, now?”

Nodding, “Of course. I have brought you an excellent distraction.”

 

It takes them more than a day to translate crayon drawings into something Even can work with- but to Nexahs’ credit, it is actually all accurate and workable code- and with Vexen’s research, it comes together beautifully where Xemnas could never finish it himself. There’s so much frustrated grumbling at how well Nexahs has managed to just, bring back all this information into his consciousness- but he can’t really complain, because now he can complete a very, very old project. The only major snag is finding a device to transmit the data to the host dusk- but Nexahs has an… idea. An ill-advised idea. This plan is skirting _very close_ to grasping the ‘wrong end of the knife’, when he leads Even down an old, exceptionally unused stairway, possibly a _secret_ stairway, because in the basement ‘Ansem’ tells him that there’s old Heartless transmitters down there that could be easily converted to do otherwise. They do not stay down for long, instead hauling the device back to Even’s office for Nexahs to toy with until it does what he wants. Sneaking back upstairs is a fucking journey- but after dodging Aeleus(so they think), they are back ‘safe’ with machinery in tow. Another half day, and with their combined intelligence- this will work. In fact- this will be more helpful than the original devices Xemnas made.

“Now we just need a Dusk,” Even muses aloud,

“Easy.”

“A dusk with potential? It was never easy to find _that.”_

Exhaling a laugh, “I actually have a dusk in mind.”

“You’ve been keeping up with dusks? I’ve only ever seen you tooling around with your sorcerers.”

“I might have a preference for my sorcerers, but I have given much attention to the dusks that linger.” Closing his eyes, Nexahs focuses on his known ‘friends’ until a familiar samurai comes to mind- and in a flurry of thorns(and a squeak from Even), the two from Destiny Island appear. “Hello friends- forgive me, I’m looking for a dusk.” The talkative one nods, unzipping its hood to look around the room. To Even, curiously, offering him a friendly wave, to which he waves back in response, albeit more nervously. “Remember the one that eats coconuts.” It…. Nods, but then tilts its head to the side. Why does the new model master want _that_ one. “I feel like it has great potential for this programming. A vibrant tenacity, but a soft response.” It can’t claim to know better than its master, so it nods, before disappearing with its cohort.

“… Are you sure about that? Not that I’ve met this dusk personally, but the samurai didn’t… seem convinced.”

“Before- I would have been looking for powerful nobody to serve us in battle. Now, I’m looking for something that might… sniff something out for me, if that makes sense.”

Even nods, still not entirely convinced, but is equally unwilling to question Nexahs’ thoughts. It is, technically, his experiment. It doesn’t take them long to track this one down, apparently, and soon enough the two samurai are back with one… Flat, squished down little dusk. It thinks its in trouble, so Nexahs immediately comes up to cup under its jaw, “Nooo, wait, don’t be like that. I’m here to ask you a question.” It perks up just a bit, unzipping its hood to look up with beady eyes. “Do you wish to be a part of a new breed of nobody? Perhaps, the only one, if we get caught.” It perks up SUBSTANTIALLY, its little body pulsing beneath his hands- at least for a moment, and then it freezes, deflating again. “No, I’ve picked you very particularly. You are _very_ motivated, and once gifted with these new abilities, I feel you will do an excellent job of finding something for me.” Perking again, it looks to the samurai, who nods back to him, and Even, who just shrugs.

“I’d be interested to see what he sees in you, small one.”

“So?” It nods, timidly, but not as if unduly coerced. It is willingly agreeing to take this new programming. Honestly- it’s every dusks dream to be chosen for conversion- extra strength, skill, potential. At no point in time in _this_ dusks life did it think it would be chosen- but then again, it has never been destroyed, it makes itself sparse in dangerous situations. Motivated, a good way to put it, it thinks.

It’s not exactly comfortable to take programming, but it holds together beautifully, and soon enough, Even looks past the blast shield to the experiment platform to see… A, a dusk- “Did it not work?” He exclaims, looking to Nexahs, but he doesn’t seem concerned.

“No, look,” sure, it looks like the same dusk, but wiggling along behind it, is a long, pseudo fluffy tail. Spikes sticking out like jagged tuffs of fur- but it’s all that slicked, rubbery skin. Weary from that, the ‘dusk’ deflates slightly, chittering beneath its mask, “You must transform into your base- you’re ‘pretending’ to be a dusk, still.” Oh, that makes sense, so it nods, thinking about what ‘normal’ means now…. Body folding in on itself, its limbs straighten out, its form morphing akin to how a nobody might normally- but instead of returning to its previous form, arms hit floor with sharp tipped ‘paws’, legs bend backwards to facilitate this now quadrupedal stance, and hood pulls back in two ‘ear’ points. Sections flip over its skin, rolling from newly pointed hood-snout to the only part of it that remained similar to before, that squishy flesh tail that bounces around the air. “There you go.” Yes, it thinks, much more comfortable- though it’s a bit weird to be so close to the floor now, and a bit weird to walk down on all fours like a dog- but it manages, tip tapping its little toes across the floor to Nexahs’ heel. Relatively small, it ‘looks’ up with imprinted eyes on it’s fox-shaped hood, but the ‘mouth’ unzips, and beneath it is still chompy mouth and beady eyes.

“… It worked! And it’s holding form!” Even exclaims, leaning down eagerly to poke and prod the newfound creation, much to its audible distress. “Can you take other forms? Are you holding together? Can you imitate-“

Nexahs cuts him off, “Wait- wait wait, you’ll need to give it more time to recover. We can play around with more-“

And then they’re both cut off by a booming, sudden voice at the door, “ **WHAT, ARE YOU DOING**.” The jig is up. It’s Ansem the Wise, and he’s fucking pissed. The nobody flattens to the floor- quite literally, it’s wiggling form skittering underneath the 2-inch space underneath a nearby shelf, only its fat tail sticking out from beneath, thumping around pathetically.

Even balks, “W-w-wuh, wait wait, it’s-“

“Not YOU,” he swats off Even to the side, ** _“YOU_** ,” he jabs a finger at Nexahs, whose gaze is so far to the side and avoidant there’s barely iris to be seen. Behind Ansem, Aeleus- he’d seen the two of them sneaking around earlier, and despite their best attempts to explain, the other man had gone for his mentor’s opinion on the matter. He’d been laying in wait outside their office for the past day and a half, watching this experiment progress- and it didn’t seem dangerous, so he was letting it occur uninterrupted- but now that it’s finished, Ansem feels free to waltz in and give them the scolding they deserve for doing unpermitted science.

Nexahs responds, still without looking to him, “Apologies. I had deigned to restart an old project of ours.”

Ansem is staring down at the nobody tail sticking out from under Even’s shelf, “What _kind_ of project?” He’s been watching it occur, however. He knows exactly what they’ve done.

“A conversion protocol for a new nobody type that Vexen and Zexion were unable to complete before perishing.”

Ansem does not seem terribly pleased with that answer, “ _Why_ are you making _new nobodies_ -“

Even stammers, “T-technically, not ‘new’, just, taking old dusks, and making them, uh, ah, d-, different,” he looks like he’s about to crawl under the table with his new friend. _Wrong end of the knife, wrong end of the knife…._

Nexahs is definitely nervous but holds himself despite the criticism for his actions, “I needed a nobody whom could sniff something out for me- a covert and sly being that can slip around the darkness.”

“ _Need?_ ” Ansem rumbles, leaning down to snag the thing by its tail and attempt to drag it out, but its rubbery form is… ungrabbable. The tail doesn’t seem to be able to flatten in the same way its body does, however.

Nexahs calls for it, and albeit uncomfortably, the nobody slinks out, immediately wriggling over to his heel. Leaning down, Nexahs snags it up like a cat under his arm, though it’s a bit bigger than that, “Yes, _need_ , though you may not agree. I’ve left something in the realm of darkness, but it has been decreed I am not to go there myself. I’d been working on the remaining schematics for this in boredom over the week I was absent- and it’s fated that now I can put it to very good use.”

Squinting, “Is this that talk of ‘Sora’ you think you’ve thrown there.”

“Yes.”

Ansem breaths in, holds a moment, and releases, taking a moment to calm himself, before reaching up to _grip_ Nexahs’ face, squishing in his cheeks. “Nexahs. ** _I_** need you to _tell me **before** _you do things like this. If you’d come and explained to me what you wanted to do, instead of preying on a man you _know will bend for you_ ,” Even shrinks, “I wouldn’t have to endlessly be so _mad with you_.”

Softly, “I didn’t feel like I could risk you telling me no.”

“Nexahs. If you think I’ll tell you no- then you need to know that that means, **no.** Are you ever going to trust my opinion on things? Are you ever going to think _critically_ before you act?” Ansem has not released his face, and Nexahs does not move to remove himself from his grasp- but his eyes refuse to meet his.

“What if you didn’t understand?”

“What if I _do_ understand, more than you think I do? As I said, if you came and explained to me, you’d needed this dog to find Sora for you in the realm of darkness, I would have agreed if you’d let me watch you produce it. **_And_** \- if you’d come to me to tell me your plan to destroy Demyx to return his heart- I could have told you that we _have a machine to locate, and capture hearts_ , and to _re-implant them to their body_ ,” ooohhh, now Nexahs shrinks. Demyx had told him Even had a science way of returning his heart, but… “But instead- you simply _act_. You’re so used to being the only person accountable for your actions- and this _needs to stop now.”_

Oh no, Ansem was _right._ He opens his mouth to try to explain himself further, but instead it clamps shut again, a numbness settling into his limbs. Hoarsely, but very honestly, “That is correct. I’m sorry.” Oh boy, this feeling again. Then again- he knew that eventually he was going to get in trouble again. The moment they bumped into Aeleus, it became a race with the clock to get his work done without being interrupted. With a heavy sigh, Ansem releases him, hands leveling to his hips instead, and looking down to the trembling nobody in Nexahs’ arms.

“I know what it feels like to seem so sure that you’re making the right decision, and that you’re helping. But you don’t have to tear down everyone else around you to get there. This isn’t an empty building.”

“Mnhh…. Yes.”

“Do you actually understand, or do you just want me out of your face?”

“I don’t know.” Genuinely, he doesn’t know what to do with the emotional response he’s receiving, flexing his fingers in and out in perceived frustration.

Ansem squints up and him, head tilting in confusion- Nexahs still refuses to make any form of eye contact. “Come speak with me again in an hour or so.”

“At your office?”

“Yes. You too, Even,” who squeaks when he’s suddenly mentioned again, “And your new friend.”

And then he leaves, Aeleus lingering a moment to give the two leftover the stink eye before following after his mentor. “…Ow,” Nexahs mumbles, rubbing a hand over his chest.

Even swallows roughly, “Ow?” looking over to Nexahs’ strange motion.

“My heart hurts.”

“That’s not ideal,” he breaks of his previous concern to adopt a new one, leaning down to look up at Nexahs gaze.

“It’s done this before,” he sighs, wobbling over to a nearby chair to plop into, backwards as he always does, nobody still in tow. “When I first came here, when I destroyed Demyx…” He swallows, eyes staring vacantly across the room, absentmindedly petting his nobody(who doesn’t mind at all.)

Even pulls up a chair as well, not quite as upset as Nexahs was, but definitely Feeling It, “Are you going to pass out?”

“Mmmnnn…no,” he shakes his head, “It’s not quite like, that.”

Rubbing his chin, Even hums, “Seems like Ansem noticed and decided the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere.”

“I don’t know how much better I feel knowing I have to go talk to him again in an hour.”

“Uhg,” rubbing his entire face now, muffled, “I know what you mean.”

“… it makes me feel slightly better knowing that you also are required to do this.”

“I can’t _believe_ I _immediately_ fucked it up again.”

“You didn’t, really. Not… entirely, at least. I knew when we bumped into Aeleus that it was going to go downhill, and yet I did it anyways-“

Shrill, but still muffled beneath his palms, “YOU KNEW?”

“Of course. Aeleus isn’t an idiot. And I was holding a massive piece of unknown machinery.”

“… Are you going to show Ansem that room we got it from.”

“I wasn’t… planning on it.. but I might… maybe I should?”

“I think you should.”

“He’ll destroy it all.”

“Should any of it live?”

“If it had been destroyed, then how would we have done what we did today?”

“I’m sure there’s still some in the World that Never Was.”

“Perhaps- but it’s likely in a state of disrepair, and unreachable without corridors. I only know one man who traverses them still- and remarkably, Xigbar has not shown up to harass me at the moment? Perhaps to prove me wrong…. Well, and suppose now the Replica Riku’s, if they’d do me the favour.”

Finally uncovering his face, Evens hums, “I had heard dear old Braig was showing his face to you. Remarkably? Does he often bother you when you’re stressed?”

“Only twice now, but I joked to him that he only bothered me when I was upset.”

“That does sound like him though.”

“Doesn’t it? He’s definitely proving me wrong, now.”

“Maybe he’s busy with something.”

“This is an equally viable answer.” Already, the two of them are feeling significantly less dying from anxiety as they were earlier, just talking so casually. “… So, are we still naming it Kitsune,” Nexahs lifts the nobody from its torso, legs dangling.

“Oh, I don’t think anything else will be more fitting than that. You never told me you’d need it for snooping around the realm of darkness, but that explains some changes you made.”

“I hope it works out the way I want it to. I’d like to make more, to keep it company.”

“You think Xion will like them?”

Nexahs squishes its head, playing around with the big ears, “…yes.” It is so pathetically cute.

Even watches this, and nods, “Absolutely.” Hearing that it will be eagerly ‘liked’ by its new master, its tail perks back up, wobbling around behind it and whapping into Nexahs’ side.

 

Instead of meeting Ansem as his office, Even invites him via phone to a far-off hall, to a door he’s never seen before- though only Nexahs meets him there.

“An offering to you for my indiscretions.”

Tilting his head, Ansem hums a curious tone as he approaches, “There are many corridors and basements I’d wondered if I’d ever find myself able to reach.”

“Well, here you go. Entrance into the hidden layers of your own laboratory. Unfortunately- I’m not going to be joining you in any level of exploration.”

“And why not?”

“Because, the ‘heart’,” pressing a hand to his chest, “Is upset that this is the end of his legacy, and that you’ll destroy it all.”

“Should it not be destroyed?”

“I don’t believe it should be- but it is no longer up to me. I am biased, for it is my research.”

“Then close the door again. It shall remain down there, untouched,” Ansem nods, reaching around him to press the keypad to the side of Nexahs, door shutting.

A confused rumble, “Oh? I don’t think I understand.”

“I don’t want to make it seem like it is my ruling or nothing. I want it to be a place where we can all communicate freely and decide our judgements together rather than keeping it hidden. If you think there’s a redeemable section of your work down there, then I want to be able to respect that opinion of yours. Instead of me going down there and making snap judgements based on _my_ personal opinions, if you think you might need something, you can come explain to me or Ienzo what you’re trying to do, and we can together decide what needs to be done.”

Nexahs snrks, “Not Even, though.”

“No. Unfortunately, you and him share the same level of ethics. Alternatively- you know I do ask his opinion on things as well? Between all of us here- and I’d ask you too, if I thought it was relative to your interests.”

“I… feel like we waited too long to have this conversation.”

“Alas- I was nervous you were lost in your mind somewhere. I was waiting for the time you would become ‘coherent’, but I’m starting to think you might have been this since you arrived.”

“In some ways, and not in others. I understand your confusion,” Nexahs sighs, eyes lidding for a moment. “You were right when you said, I am too used to being the singular decider in the fate around me. The only help I consider receiving is what I’ve explicitly asked for- nigh demanded. That doesn’t leave room for outside opinion.”

“And do you think you have it in you to change that course of thought?”

“I don’t know. All I can do in think of what you’ve spoken to me here, and change when I can recall to change it. I can not promise you a seamless transition.”

“But if you can promise me an effort, then that’s at least something that can be worked with. Now- you didn’t bring Even or your new friend.. Old friend, changed friend.”

“No, Even chickened out and you’ll have to pin him down later. And then I forgot about the nobody-“ he hums, focusing on that thought for a moment, and in a very tamed down puff of thorns, the quadrupedal one appears.

“That seemed a lot tamer than I’m used to,” Ansem muses, looking down to it.

“It is a covert type- the only really ‘sneaky’ one we’d ever considered making, and I’m assuming you’re used to Dragoons, which are nigh the exact opposite of sneaky.”

“Yes, I’ve been interacting with the dragoons, your one sorcerer, but a few others have graced me with their presence. I was hoping to ask you about them. Would you like to head back to my office with me?”

“Of course. What sort of questions do you have?”

“Well, I suppose now that I’m thinking about it, I could have asked Even or Ienzo- but occasionally, by myself, one- mmnn, no wait, two in particular I do not recognize will pop in, give me a look, and disappear,” they begin to walk back to the aforementioned office, after Nexahs locks down that secret basement once more. At Nexahs’ heel, the kitsune paces beside.

“Description?”

“Once, a tall one with a wide base, and a set of cards it played with idly. This one stayed for a long while, and even attempted to play some card game with me- but ultimately, seemed like it cheated. More hostile and three times now, this kind scooted in the air sideways with something like guns in their hands.”

“Hmnn, the first- a Gambler, Luxord. I don’t know what he would want- but I think I’d seen that one once before myself. It seems tame, just curious. Snipers, however, more troubling- those are Xigbar’s. I’d be concerned to know he’s bothering you.”

“I mean, other than startling me, it’s hardly a ‘bother’. And if Braig, or Xigbar, wants to give me a look occasionally, well.. What could I do to stop them?”

“Other than keep other nobodies to guard you, not much. Please keep me informed of when this occurs- all other nobodies will heed to my call but those snipers.”

“Isa had told me you and him were keeping tabs on each other, but does Xigbar not enjoy you?”

“Xigbar is an exceptionally complicated situation. He is some kind of double agent- triple, even, for someone neither myself or even Xehanort, old man himself had _any_ idea of. We thought we were destroying the universe, so whatever master Xigbar thought he was serving was of no importance to us later. Braig swore allegiance to Xehanort in order to obtain his keyblade, the No Name. At first, it was comprehended as a man who simple desired the power of the keyblade, but over time it become overt that he was doing something _else_. Who knows what that is, however.”

Frowning, Ansem doesn’t seem to enjoy this story, “How unfortunate. I will try to tell you each time I spot these snipers, then.”

“I would appreciate that. There may be very little I can do about Xigbar, but simply ignoring him seems… ill advised.”

“I agree. So, gambler, just wants to play, it seems?”

“That would be accurate. Perhaps Luxord’s somebody is curious about what we’re doing now. Have you seen any that float with wide skirts and long scythes? Or one that skitter on the ground with handfuls of knives?”

“Thankfully enough, no? That sounds like that would concern me.”

“Marluxia, and Larxene. They were always in their own ‘world’ so to speak, and now that they’re reformed again, I feel like they’ll be inclined to stay out of trouble. I have to clarify now though- you did mention that ‘all’ who fell in the final battle came back reformed?”

“Yes. I have been informed that, as they call themselves, Lauriam and Elrena are spotted transiently among the worlds- and Luxord, as well, though I’m unsure of his somebody name; all three find themselves at the Land of Departure where Terra, Aqua and Ventus reside, they don’t seem to mind sharing the space. Xigbar had been seen in the Land of Departure once or twice as well, and the Keyblade Graveyard.”

Tilting his head, “Land of Departure- oh, hmn. Wonder if they feel attached to ‘Castle Oblivion’, or if they’d perhaps stored something there that they need….”

“Aqua doesn’t seem to think they’re up to anything, they just needed somewhere to stay- but I can tell her to keep her head up, if you’re concerned.”

“A little. Marluxia wanted the organization for himself, once- though I know not what for. The only reason he was ‘trusted’ the second time was because he was at Master Xehanort’s will. As someone specifically ‘chosen’, defying orders was not an option.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Arriving at Ansem’s office, they enter, though wearily Nexahs finds himself to sit incorrectly in immediately, “Ah- still tired easily?”

“When stressed, yes,” he yawns, leaning forwards on the ‘back’ of the chair. “No matter what I seem to do.”

“Well, sit here for a short while, and head back to your room?”

“Do you have more questions for me?”

“If you’ll have them, but-“

“I’ll have them, as I sit.”

Ansem nods, “When do you plan to send that nobody out to find what you think is Sora?”

“Tonight, if I can.”

“And what will it do if it finds him?”

“Inform me.”

“…. And what will you do once you’re informed?”

“Go and get him.” He waits for the ‘no’, eyes drifting to the nobody sitting patiently at his feet.

“You cannot, and you know why.”

“Who else would go?”

“I would rather even go myself than send you and your damaged heart into the realm of darkness.”

“You can not open a corridor.”

“Can you?”

“Yes.”

Raising an eyebrow, “Since when? And how?”

“I did it in my dream- that is how Sora ended up there in the first place. I found him in a realm of pure, blinding light, opened a corridor, and threw him through.”

“You… opened a corridor to the realm of darkness in a realm of pure light?”

“It wasn’t easy.”

“I’m more concerned you’d let darkness into someplace like that-“

“Trust me- this world was not and will never be at risk of corruption. You do not comprehend how light, and distant it was.”

“Suppose this is why no one could feel him from there?”

“I’m assuming. Then again- I have not asked the most relevant people yet if they feel him once more.”

“And that would be…?”

“Riku and Kairi.”

“Ah- that does make sense, yes. Should we call them?”

“I…. I don’t want to give them false hope if it isn’t. I don’t want to call Riku, and ask him if he feels Sora, for him to tell me ‘no’.”

“That is…fair,” Ansem sighs, leaning on his desk to look down at Nexahs getting mopey. “My opinion is known though. I do not want you going into the realm of darkness.”

“If I can find Xigbar first, I’ll ask him. Or those two replica Riku’s. Which vanished the moment Even put his new arm on, by the way.”

“Ah, well that is inconvenient. Forgive me- you seemed worried Xigbar was working against us earlier- but you would ask him to do you the favour of finding Sora?”

“Yes. He might help. Would it be better than sending myself?”

“I don’t know- would it be?”

…. A moment of thought, “Yes, it would be better. I’ve been through the darkness recently, and it went… poorly.”

“I was told.”

“Isa sure likes talking about me.”

“He wants to keep you-… out of trouble.”

“What a suspicious sounding mid-sentence correction.”

“He,” Ansem sighs, “Wants to keep you safe.”

“We are friends…”

“And you reciprocate that, or you can abuse it.”

“I will keep that in mind. However- I can not promise you I will manage to stay out of the realm of darkness. At the very core of this situation- I have promised his mother I would fix my mistake, and bring him home.”

“His mother?”

“Remember- from the island. I met her and promised her I would bring back the son I may have destroyed. It is the first promise I have made- and perhaps at the expense of my own health, I will uphold this. I can not do otherwise.”

“You are too focused- but I do not think anyone will ever ‘cure’ you of this. Consider all your options first, then, Nexahs.”

“I will find all of them exhausted before this ultimate end.”

“Very well. That is all the questions I had for you- if you find the time, tell Even that he does still need to come speak with me.”

“I will do this if I see him,” he rises to wobbly legs, but walks well enough to head himself back to his room, kitsune at heel.


	12. Chapter 12

Things rarely change down here. Between near constant sleeping to regain and keep hold of his strength, and the endless expanse of never-ending darkness, days pass with zero meaning to Vanitas. Each step of dirt here looks and feels the same, that creeping sand and rock and _vacancy_ that only occasionally bumps with a surge of heartless, which he easily decimates between himself and the entourage of unversed that keep close to his side. The difference between Vanitas and anyone else in particular, however, is that he doesn’t… _care_ about the endless days, or the lack of anything occurring between them. He doesn’t care when he sleeps for weeks on end, or wanders for longer, with no visitors- or rather, no trespassers. Even the sparse times when someone does bother him, someone other than heartless, he easily dissuades the interruption with violence. Not that he won his last fight with King Mickey when he showed up just exploring, but it was enough to get his point across, and he’s yet to see the mouse since. He’s not interested in outside interference. Vanitas has fully claimed this dark world for himself.

So, it’s a particularly startling moment when he crawls over a rock face and sees, of all the god damned people, _Sora_ just standing there in the middle of a small open plain. Not startling like he’s actually jumping from the situation, or even that he reacts in anything more than dull surprise, but he makes his way down over his climb, and just… Well, starts walking up to the guy. Preparing for some kind of trap- or even better, it really just Sora, lost and ready to _die_.

Sora notices pretty quick to the movement in his peripheral vision, and at first he looks over to Vanitas in a complete lack of recognition- then confusion, because ‘is that me’, ”Well, that’s definitely new-OUGH-“ interrupted at that point, Vanitas closes the distance between them- violently, keyblade rammed into chest to send them both flying.

Sora catches on quick, however, but never seems to lose that cheery stride, unlike Vanitas who really is trying to kill him for daring to interlope is _his_ world. Something strange occurs, however, because no matter how much effort he puts into this fight, Vanitas can’t seem to… get a leg up? If this is Sora- he’s been doing some major training since the last time they met. He knows that the idiot beat Xehanort- but that was with much effort and the help of his insufferable friends. Now, Sora is alone- but Vanitas can hardly make a hit past the initial one that sent them both tumbling into the sand.

Another thing he notices as they trade blows- his keyblade looks… different. Old- cracked, rusting even. Despite the Kingdom Key’s apparent state of disrepair, in has no issue blocking blows and dealing hits. While Sora seems to be enjoying what he thinks is a playfight here, perhaps Vanitas has gotten a bit unpracticed over his incalculable time down here. When Vanitas’ stamina begins to fade, Sora gets what the other might consider as uncharacteristically _brutal,_ though it isn’t as is Vanitas is entirely familiar with Sora’s personality _._ A single slip up in his footing leads a keyblade to the face, and again, and once more to lob him bouncing headfirst into the ground. Quickly rolling onto his back, this is when he notices that this Sora, if it really _is_ him- because now he isn’t so sure, stares down at him with those fallen, golden eyes. Oh- that explains some things, sure. But can you really beat what is darkness incarnate with a different darkness? Maybe, with _time_ \- something overtakes Sora as he floats overhead, like a shadow that encompasses his being behind two dots of piercing yellow gaze, and Vanitas barely has time to place his keyblade forwards to block the spiralling black form before it attempts to impale him on its own blade. A blast of that dark energy sparks violently between them, compressing Vanitas into the ground beneath him in a painful crater. Managing to hold the position in the air for a few seconds before the energy between their blades overpowers him, that shadowy façade fades from Sora once more, and he is sent flying with an almost humoured scream.

Still struggling to recover from that final blow, Vanitas heaves his distress in a crater built perfectly for him- when Sora appears to the side of his vision again, and unfortunately, doesn’t look like he’s done ‘playing’- but to the credit of his creations, unversed appear to protect their master, a few flood skittering out of the floor and corners of the cliffs nearby to uselessly kamikaze, swatted easily away as the darkened Sora approaches- but a turtletoad appears from the void, gapping its wide jaws and inhaling in the attacker before he can manage to lay any measure of killing blow.

To both Vanitas and the turtletoad’s confusion, there’s none of the usual struggling that occurs when one becomes inside of the aforementioned. Injured, Vanitas crawls from his hole, his ego bruised more than his body, lumbering over to his pet, “… What, is he just… chilling in there?” With an echoed warbling, it seems to say ‘yes’. “… Open up.”

So it does, gurgling to release its capture wet on its tongue. Sora just looks absolutely confused, balanced precariously on that tongue, and whatever fighting spirit was fueling him earlier is doused by saliva and beak. “… This is different!” He doesn’t appear to be taking any kind of damage from the event, not by the usually caustic spit, or the chewing it had avoided doing as to not immediately be torn asunder by its unusually violent prey. It had swallowed him as a distraction, more than anything, and Sora is definitely distracted.

“You’re telling me,” Vanitas rasps- and then shuts the unversed’s mouth back down. “Whatever- stay there then, what do I care.”

Sora does stay there- for a disturbingly long time, and the turtletoad follows Vanitas as he wanders away from here to find somewhere nice to curl up and die for a few days. He’s feeling unusually spry afterwards however, maybe the fight was just that mentally stimulating, or maybe this darkness infused Sora is providing him and his kin some duly required negative feelings. He seemed very much like he was being a negative fellow- what with the attempted murder. Then again, Vanitas absolutely started it. There’s some regrets there, mostly because stepping in an uncalculated fight left him with a kicked ass. Eventually, the turtletoad burps a choking noise, stops, and has its mouth pried open for Sora to upend himself sticky in the dirt. Stopping to look back around him, Vanitas watches this occur with bemusement- but curiosity. “Was that…. Fun?”

“I don’t know! It was different, though, so that’s its own thing,” now, he _sounds_ cheery and like Vanitas is familiar with, “Decided you didn’t want to fight me?”

“You looked like you were trying to kill me.”

“So were you! What- am I supposed to just let you win?”

“You’re not usually so focused on direct murder without a good reason.”

“I don’t usually! But I guess I forgot my own strength,” Sora stands, arms behind his head- his clothes are devoid of colour, ratted and dirty. Hair matted down from saliva- and a bit longer than Vanitas remembers. Most strikingly though, as he had seen before, the other keyblade wielder has fallen completely to darkness. It feels a bit different that being influenced by Xehanort, he thinks, but doesn’t explain why he’s still managing to act so friendly.

“I guess I’ve lost much of mine. Apologies for not giving you the fight you expected.” Vanitas is nigh identical to the last time they fought- maybe a bit muted in the red, but otherwise the same. No helmet, however- and it’s like looking into a mirror. More to a ‘normal’ Sora, however, because while his hair is that same length and black as it was, his un-norting has left him with dark, steel blue eyes. Much darker and muted than Sora’s original, but less identifying than the yellow that Sora himself now wears.

“Ha- the darkness here not treating you well?” Sora still doesn’t seem to speak like he knows who he’s talking to, like he still thinks it’s some wayward speck of himself he’s found.

“The darkness treats everyone as well as it does. Despite my choice- it has failed, again, in the shadow of the light,” Vanitas rumbles, turning away to continue his aimless wandering.

Sora however, follows. “Oh yeah, I guess I understand that.“ A long silence as they walk for while, over a barren expanse of land. Vanitas is slow, failing to shrug off his injuries, but Sora doesn’t seem interested in surpassing or ditching him. Equally, Vanitas can’t shake him, or apparently even fight him off. “Are you… going anywhere in particular?”

“No.”

“Then why are you walking?”

“What else would I do.”

“Uhh… That’s really fair, actually. You could stop though. You’re limping.”

“You kicked my ass.”

“OK- then why are you walking!”

“This isn’t a good place to sleep.”

He stops to look around for a moment. “… What makes someplace down here good to ‘sleep’ more than anywhere else? It’s all kinda the same.”

“I’ll know when I get there.” Vanitas has not stopped walking.

“Oooohh…. I don’t get it, but alright. You’re the expert here.”

“You’ve fallen to darkness, and I’m assuming it’s because you’ve been here- so you should also know.”

“Have you seen me around?”

“No.”

“So then I probably wasn’t here.”

Looking back incredulously, Vanitas pauses his walk, “How do you not know?”

Sora just smiles in return, shrugging, “Oh, you know~” Suddenly, Vanitas and the unversed around him are surged with negative feeling- a wave of pitiful despair and hopelessness, “I mean- it’s not like I’m _here_ either. But, I said I’d play. I just want you to know this is a very convincing fake me!”

… Raising a brow, “I’m not _fake,_ or _you_.”

“Uhh, then who are you?”

“… Vanitas? You don’t remember?”

Blinking and confused, “Vanitas?...who… OH,” he laughs, “Why do you look like me! Couldn’t figure out what else to make him look like? Where’s your cool helmet?”

“What- no, I’m not you, I’m-“ he hisses, waving a dismissive hand, “Are you Sora?”

“Yes?”

He stops, stares and squints incredulously. “Trust me- I’m Vanitas, I look like you because of your connection to Ventus- or rather, I came first, so _you_ ,” he points, “look like _me_. I’ve explained this- how do you not remember?”

“Oh, interesting!” Sora sounds 100% not convinced but drops the subject like a rock. “Alright, well, keep finding your place to sleep!”

Vanitas stares in bemused offense for a long moment, but eventually shrugs it off in an overarching feeling of not giving a fuck, turning away to continue walking. Empowered by this new shower of displeasure emanating from behind him, “Are you just going to keep following me.”

“What else am I supposed to do.”

“Absolutely anything else.”

“But you’re here! Aren’t you here to play? But I guess this is probably in character for you… But you haven’t told me to leave yet. Not explicitly, at least.”

Vanitas shrugs, grumbling an uncommitted tone. No, no he has not.

Sora has no idea what about the place Vanitas finally settles down in is any nicer than the rocks and cliffs they’d wandered over earlier. Perhaps, it’s literally just exhaustion, because he painfully rests himself down in a nestled little depression in the side of a cliff, curling up on himself and resting much akin to a cat. Unversed litter the area, and as their master rests, they form little groups in piles across the space they’ve claimed, barking out any interloping heartless that dare cross them. This is their territory now- and will be for a while. Unfortunately, Sora gets a visual cue of ‘we sleep in piles’, and finds himself scooting up on Vanitas in his curled state. He rumbles up for a moment, posturing and sneering at the unwanted physical contact, but without the effort to remove the other, settles his head back down into the sand. It’s not the worst, having someone pushed up against his back, especially when that person finds himself secretly in the most miserable of moods.

Sora finds his first surprise in endless time when he drifts to sleep as well.

 

 

 

 

“Sorry to bother- but I’m looking for a cat, and a doorknob told me to talk to some cards, and those cards told me that you might know where I might find one,” Xigbar leans down to the portly rabbit in front of him, who is fretting over a pocket watch, as he absolutely always is.

“I-I-I,” he stammers, looking up to the unusual but oddly familiar man, “A cat, you say? I know several cats, a cat of hats, a cat that is black, a cat who strings violins-“

Cutting him off, “Nooo, no no no, my friend. The cat- the one that grins, and disappears-“

“OH, _THAT_ cat. My good sir, I don’t know you well- or at least my _eyes_ say I don’t, because my heart thinks I might- but my advice to you is that you _do not_ want _that_ cat. If you excuse me, however- I do have somewhere I need to be,”

“Just a moment of your time! For old times sake, if you do plan on listening to that hearts of yours.” The rabbit swallows, and nods. “I appreciate the concern, but I promise you- I need someone to give me some bullshit lines that make no sense, but absolutely all of the sense.”

“.. oh. Yes, the Cheshire Cat will provide you with that. However, those cards misinformed you- I do not know where he is, in fact, I don’t think anyone does!”

“Sometimes, even I wonder where I am,” and there is appears, draping himself elegantly across the black robed man’s shoulders. The rabbit startles, looking between him and his watch, sweating dreadfully.

“Ah! Perfect! Right into the narrative, glad to know I still know exactly how you work. Thank you, my long-eared friend- get gone to wherever you’re going! Always late- you never learn.”

“I don’t think it’s about learning as much as always having things to do!” And he skitters off, just like that, leaving Xigbar alone with his actual destination.

“Aahhh, sweet, dear and long long, long long long long friend, you think you know me?” he purrs, tipping his head off its neck to roll down an outstretched arm to face him. “I didn’t think you’d ever visit again- or if you ever have! I can’t say I recognize the face.”

Rolling his eye, Xigbar shakes his head with a laugh, “Ahh, no, a bit different each time, aren’t I?”

“You never take my advice- but you always come back craving more!”

“Is it really advice.”

“Is it?”

Raising his hands, Xigbar grabs the rolling head from its paw pedestal, bringing it up to face height- well, until it squishes beneath his palms in a puff of smoke and nothing, the weight from his shoulders fading off and away. Not too far, though, as he’s just up a tree now, hanging lazily. “Sometimes. If I know how to read.”

“Ohh, do you read spoken words? Can you tell me how?” He raises a paw to press incredulously to his chin, eying down below.

“Implying that isn’t something I’m sure you can do.”

“I kid you not, little one! I know not how to read spoken words. But what are these words but not spoken? Are we speaking right now, hmn~?”

Xigbar is becoming done with the game, mostly because the game is never done, but he does need to direct it in a specific way. “Does something feel.. _weird_ to you?”

“You’re asking me…. Here… if something feels…weird,” he purrs, eyelids drifting lazily shut and open again to the audacity of that question being spoken to him.

“Yes. Plain and simple.”

“ _Nothing_ is just so and so like that.”

“It is. Is it weird?”

“No fun, no fun… Yes, little one. It is ‘weird’. But is that bad?”

“It is for me,” his nose wrinkles in distaste, hands pocketing themselves.

“Well- sit back and look with your eyes!” Standing upwards, he gestures with paws and walks across a branch, mimicked like a human man, but at the tippiest branch, he covers one eye- the same side Xigbar is missing. At the end, he takes that step forwards and over into empty air- but instead, inverts, and walks back towards the tree, but upside-down, tail bouncing behind him. “Suppose this isn’t quite right either,” he muses, and then take a leap or two to other, smaller branches, still inverted on them as he waltzes with one paw over his eye.

Xigbar looks like he’s grasping for any sort of meaning behind that. “Har har, you’re me, walking all around the damn place, like I was earlier trying to convince you to give me your time of day.”

“Am I? Is this you,” that paw over his eye moves to his chin, rubbing it a moment thoughtfully, “Does no one else miss eyes?”

“No, probably more than me is missing an eye…”

“Where do they go?”

“… my eye?”

“Any eyes! Where do missing eyes go, I wonder.”

“… Mine is a puddle of meat.”

“Ouh, gross,” but he’s still smiling, as always, ear to ear- and still stands upside-down his chosen tree branch. “Is different ‘weird’? Is unexpected? What about interesting! New! Eventful,” and the cheshire laaaaughs, body disappearing as he finds somewhere else to plant himself- back on his original branch, lounging away lazily- but his head remains upside-down nearby.

“I’m not looking for interesting or eventful- I’m looking for _planned_.”

“Oh, this is planned, I assure you- at least a _bit_. Are you so sure though? That it is weird, and different?”

Xigbar hums, a dark tone creaking in his throat at the thought. “No… it’s impossible to say.”

“Is it? Can’t you see?” His head rolls off, bouncing back to it’s body, and he covers that eye with a paw once more- but away again, and that eye is a black vacant hole in his head.

Pursing his lips, Xigbar doesn’t get it- until he does. Spine stiffening, and eye drifting to the floor beneath him. “I… I, can’t do that.”

“Can’t- or don’t want to? Do you want to see the truth? Do you _need to know_ the truth? Or is this the truth now- a future unknowable. Does knowing it change your destination now? It’s your risk- you simply asked me a question, and I feel I’ve _more_ than answered it.”

“Thanks, man,” and he waves a dismissive hand, posture still hunched in discomfort as he turns to abruptly leave.

“Visit me anytime, friend! I will waste away without you~.”

\---

No Xigbar. No Replikus- not even to Namine’s house. Nexahs takes Ansem’s advice to heart, but equally, he’s running out of options. He’d even waited a few days to release his kitsune into the darkness to go hunting- but the longer Sora is free to wander down there, the further he might go and find himself impossible to find. They’d even contacted Mickey(under the promise he would not immediately tell Riku), and while the King has gone down several times now, no such luck has found himself even a whiff of Sora’s entity.

“I’m sorry, friend. I think you’re right- I think I might feel him- but once, a little while ago when I was doing a little exploration, I found that one half of Ventus, Vanitas? And he feels a bit like Sora too- but, well, less friendly, he wasn’t interested in doing much but chasing me off. I can’t get a good read,” the mouse sighs, looking up at Nexahs with furrowed brows.

“I appreciate the help, honestly. And it didn’t hurt to try.”

“I’ll keep looking, if you’re sure that’s where he’d ended up.”

“Unfortunately enough- it occurred in a dream. I can not absolutely promise you it even occurred, let alone that I had successfully removed him from his lost space to where I think I’ve put him.”

“Well- I’ll try anyways! Call me a fool- but after you turned over a new leaf- a part of me really wants to track down that Vanitas again, give him another shot,” balling his hand into a fist, Mickey nods to himself firmly.

Nexahs laughs, low, “I don’t know how far you’ll get with that one, but you can always try.” He has only the haziest, vaguest recollection of Vanitas, and that was mostly that he kept to himself or to old man ‘nort. “I’m going to send my nobody down there soon, and it will hopefully be able to provide us some further assistance.”

“Alright! I’ll keep an eye out for it,” looking down, the kitsune is stuffed between Nexahs legs nervously. Nobodies and King Mickey weren’t usually a good match, no matter how much his master says the mouse is fine now. “I hope I don’t see you down there, though.”

“I’m trying hard not to. Are you going to give me a hard time, too?”

“I’m gonna give you a ‘you probably shouldn’t’, but since it sounds like you’ve already heard it all, I’ll just let you be!” Smiling brightly, he looks up at Nexahs with that hinting worry, but practiced calm. “I’ll see you again in a couple days, alright? You send your little nobody friend down and we’ll meet up, isn’t that right,” offering a hand, he tries to coax it out from between Nexahs legs, and after a moment it does wobble out, offering a paw in return for hand shaking. Mickey is, apparently, going to be its only connection to the outside world once it finds Sora, so it better play friendly. At least- that’s what Nexahs keeps saying out loud. Instead, the nobody can feel its master’s wishes, and it knows how this is going to go down. Only one person other than Nexahs would be able to find Sora in the darkness he’s been thrown into, and Xigbar has made himself unfortunately scarce. If only they’d kept Demyx around for a little while longer.

As Mickey leaves, so does Nexahs kitsune, disappearing into the void with little to no fanfare. Now- there’s only time to… wait. Continually scheming, Nexahs finds himself in Dilan’s presence.

“I have never seen a man look more like he has something very particular to ask,” looking over his shoulder, Dilan is working on repairing some machine for Ienzo; piled around his legs, dragoons make it hard to navigate the floor. He has fully accepted his fate as ‘big spikey dog’ owner.

“Equally- you look like you’re prepared to tell me no.”

“I’ve been explicitly trained to tell you ‘no’ at this point. However- I’ll let you ask.”

“Do you still have black robes-“

“No,” he cuts him off, looking down at his tinkering, “I mean- I _do_ , but no.”

“I’m actually somewhat surprised to know you kept them, honestly?”

“You should know well it’s often a good idea to keep ‘back up’ plans. It’s not like they go bad. And where would yours be?”

“World that Never Was would have spares. Didn’t think to ask Demyx to go grab them when he was there.”

“And yet, you seem to have planned out many other things as of late.”

“Apparently not, because here I am, begging for your coat,” approaching from the doorway, he steps over prone bodies across the floor, leaning down to give one a good scratch on its actual head beneath the dragon ‘neck’.

“I’ve been informed of your plans of sneaking into the realm of darkness, and even if I wasn’t told not to assist in this, I wouldn’t be inclined to.”

“Well, here’s my side of the argument, if you’ll have it.”

“I don’t really want to, but I’m not about to kick you out of my room. Yet.”

“To no fault of their own, those denizens of light may travel the realm of darkness- but they can not sink into it. The way time flows there, the directionless incorporeal nature of it. You know well he has no hope of navigating without exceptional direction.”

“They’ve found someone down there once before.”

“Because she was specifically signalling. This ‘perhaps’ Sora, wrapped in darkness, is giving no such advantage.”

Sighing, Dilan leans back from his table, running a hand through his hair. “You’ll go down yourself anyways, even if I do not lend you this advantage.”

“Yes. And wouldn’t it be better to give me a hand, rather than leave me barren?”

Rolling his eyes, “You are an unstoppable mess.”

“I don’t think I know how to relax. Maybe when I stop having things to do.”

“You will never stop having things to do.”

“I mean, I can hope.”

“No- you will always find something to do with yourself. Fine- I will give you my coat, to borrow- I would really appreciate having it back in one piece.”

“I doubt I will be getting into any fights that will damage it. My kitsune nobody will find Sora’s exact location, and I will land there specifically to grab him and immediate remove ourselves.”

“Sounds like a fair enough plan. Here’s hoping the coat will be able to guard you long enough.”

“It will absolutely be the leg up I require to survive the encounter.”

 

The King returns- but with no news of even spotting the nobody he was ‘supposed’ to rendezvous with. Not surprising- it must’ve immediately dived deeper than Mickey thought he could. The nervousness comes when Nexahs attempts to contact his kitsune, and the nobody does not reply. Not even a peep- he feels it still exists, but so distantly it can’t seem to answer back to his call. He hopes it isn’t somehow lost- which is something that could have occurred. It doesn’t live there, and only owes its knowledge to what Nexahs and Even could program into it. Three days later with nothing, Nexahs waits in excessive impatience to having ‘nothing’ to do in the meantime, as Dilan had pointed out earlier. Always wanting something to do, but he can’t afford to get distracted now, especially with his scout unable to give him heads as to when he’ll have to start working.

It’s the early morning when something perks him out of sleep- Nexahs often finds himself ending up in bed late into the night and remaining there until afternoon, so he’s quite deeply slept when he’s interrupted. Shaking out of it and confused, a tiny desperate voice warbles in his mind, -please come. Danger, lost.- His little kitsune- danger, that’s what sets him up and out of bed in a rush, not to mention it’s the first peep of it he’s heard in days. Dilan’s coat is kept close to him under the thought this rushed response might be what occurs, and with a sigh, he slips in and attempts to focus on where his scout is.

Opening a corridor is not easy, even in this protective coat, and even as he tries to remember when he’d done it before- especially now that he has to focus on a specific location. It is deep- deeper than he expected it to be, but _not_ the deepest he’s ever been… Well, not the deepest Ansem has ever been. Focusing on that knowledge of Ansem’s, a corridor sputters to life, but not without great effort. Swallowing roughly, he mumbles to himself, “What’s that they always mumbled to themselves, about my heart and guiding.” Sighing, he passes into the darkness.

It’s oppressive- but nothing like it had been weeks earlier. Between the dark robes and the mental preparation, Nexahs makes the transition well enough- but it’s impossibly dark here. Perhaps he hadn’t quite hit his mark, so he starts walking. It doesn’t feel like it takes terribly long, but it’s longer than he’d hoped it would be before his one eye becomes used to the darkness, and the features of the land start to become familiar. It helps his navigation when he starts to feel spikes of darkness and magic in the distance- but it also means there’s some sort of fight occurring near where his nobody has found itself, so he picks up the pace now that he can triangulate where he’s headed.

Just in time, somehow, Nexahs leaps over the edge of a cliff-face to find his kitsune running for its life from flood. Unversed- like King Mickey had said, Vanitas, and as he scans around the area, he spots the dark figure in the distance- two… TWO dark figures in the distance, one that seems more interested in sending his flood to attack the wayward nobody, and one that looks like he’s just sort of in for the ride. Eager to save his creations life, Nexahs floats down, rough in his landing, but spry enough the offended flood is disintegrated by lasers adeptly. However, now he’s been noticed, and Vanitas doesn’t seem to enjoy that Xemnas is here with nobodies, and the hostile unversed turn on him.

At least, at first. Vanitas is halfway to him, keyblade in hand, when the second figure behind him catches him up by an arm, tugging him back before he goes ham. In turn, the unversed Nexahs had taken a few stabs at him before now take a step backwards, and he doesn’t move forwards to destroy them. Kitsune tucked between his legs, he waits for the two of them to approach, and as he closes his darker eye, the gold one spots easily in the darkness the recognizable Vanitas, and beside him now, Sora. Sora! Thank fate he wasn’t an insane person, and that all his hard work was not for naught. However, he would’ve preferred not fighting at all, and the weariness of that entangled him in the oppressive darkness quickly. Landing hard on his knee, Nexahs grasps his chest as the two approach, wheezing uncomfortable.

“You! Not-Xemnas!” Sora perks up, bursting into a run when the other man falls, “Whoa- what’s up?”

Swallowing, “I’m not… meant to be here,” he sighs, eyes lidding.

Vanitas walks up afterwards, “Not-Xemnas? Then why is he travelling with a nobody.”

“I’m… somewhat Xemnas,” he hums, head tilting from side to side, “His somebody.”

“…Xehanort?”

“No, not that either- it’s very complicated, I, I can’t afford to explain it to you here.”

“I don’t really care either. Get out if you can’t stay.”

“I need something here,”

“Like what.”

Looking upwards weakly with his singular eye, “Sora.” Nexahs glances to Vanitas, expecting him to be eager to lose the other boy’s company, but his nose wrinkles in distaste to that, eyes listing to the side.

“Yeah? Fine, then take him and leave,” but what he says doesn’t match with what he looks like.

Sora notices this, giving him a humour sneer, “Since when are you so eager to get rid of me?”

“Since he,” he gestures to Nexahs, “decided he won’t leave without.”

“You don’t like him? Weren’t you on the same side?”

“Same ‘side’ does _not_ mean we were friends.”

Garnering his strength for a bit, Nexahs rises again, albeit weakly, attempting to focus on the area they stand, but after a short moment. “…ah… I’m lost,” his eyes are hazey, unfocused, his mind wandering uncomfortably from the situation.

Noticing the sudden lack of focus, “The darkness is consuming you. What the hell happened to you?”

“Hmn?...mmmm… Things.”

Rolling his eyes, “I have to do everything myself, huh,” turning to Sora with a wide shrug, Vanitas shakes his head dismissively.

“Oh? Whatcha gonna do?”

“Send him back to the realm of light.”

Sora’s eyebrow furrow, frowning, “Oh, aww.”

“The darkness is killing him. Would you rather he die? You seemed eager to stop me a minute ago.” Nexahs goes from looking ok enough to very badly quickly, just as he stands there and looking around in a growing stupor.

“Oh- no, I guess not. Are… _we_ going to the realm of light?” Sora sounds apprehensive of this, wringing his hands together.

“It won’t be like the one you talked about, but like, you don’t have to go with him, technically. He looks out of it- I could just push him through the corridor and be done with it.”

“Mmnn… but he came all this way for me. It would be a shame to waste all his work.”

“It’s up to you,” Vanitas rumbles, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to focus. “Ahh… shit- I haven’t… made a corridor in what feels like forever.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever, so I don’t know how to help.”

“I’ll… rrrr….” Stretching out his arms a moment, he looks to Nexahs, “I’m doing you a big, stupid favour, you better be thankful later, old man.”

Focus regained momentarily, Nexahs’ eyes drift to Vanitas, “Are you coming with?”

“Why would I come with?” He sneers in return, arms folding.

“You look lonely,” he rumbles in return, head ducking low and inspective. Nexahs knows lonely too well not to see it in others now, even as he feels weak and weary.

Pressing an offended hand to his chest, “I’m _not_ lonely.”

But Sora chimes in as well, “You were lonely! You should come with-“

Giving him a shove, “I’m not going with you two idiots. Now shh for a minute! I don’t know where I’m aiming, and I’m going to have to,” he pauses to grimace, hissing, “Ask for help.”

“Ohp- ok. Thanks, Vanitas,” Sora looks to Nexahs again, mildly concerned with how about to fall he looks.

There’s a long silent pause as Vanitas squeezes his eyes shut again, humming as he peruses his thoughts far enough he might hop into someone elses conscious- or rather, an extension of his own, so pulled apart it’s someone else. He speaks out loud, not exactly on purpose, but Sora and Nexahs loose some of the confusion as to what he’s doing as he goes, “Hey, Ventus.”

Sora tilts a confused head, looking to Nexahs, “Ventus? His other half, right?” Weakly, Nexahs nods.

“Yes yes, I know, shh for a minute. I’m doing you a favour. Sshh! Can’t you just trust me,” Vanitas laughs under his breath, shaking his head. “Think of me for a minute. Just that. Trust me! Have I ever lead you astray…. Ok, have I recently lead you astray?” It falls to silence once more as he focuses- and then suddenly whips out his arm, easily opening a corridor, “Alright, lets go,” he rasps, snagging Sora and Nexahs by a wrist each and tugging them through.

Nexahs switches eyes as they walk into this world of light- he’s unfamiliar with the area, or at least somewhat unfamiliar, but he can sparsely remember the thoughts of Ventus, and the Land of Departure. Sora and Vanitas squint uncomfortably in the sunlight, though Sora recovers quickly enough, Vanitas stands there looking miserable about it. Ahead of them, Ventus stands, nervous as all hell, but with hands on hips staring at them in restrained nervousness, “What kind of favour is this!”

“Tadaaaaa,” Vanitas warbles in response, gesturing with both arms towards Sora- who spots Ventus and nearly skips over, grasping his hands.

“Ventus!”

Looking him over in confusion, “Ah- Sora…?...Sora!” As he meets his eyes again, he sees the change in colour, and his expression fades to horror, but he returns the held hands. He looks… taller, as well, strangely more grown- more than he should be in the half year he’s been missing.

Smiling softly in return, “Aahhh, I haven’t seen _you_ in a while- you’re getting a lot better at this.”

Tilting his head, “Better at…what?”

“Er- sorry, nevermind,” he tries to change the subject, as Vanitas has caught him doing often now. Instead, he looks around in wonder at the surroundings, “Where’s this, huh?”

They don’t have much time to wonder though, because Nexahs collapses under the strain he’s taken in. Jumping, Vanitas doesn’t catch him before he falls like a sack of potatoes, barking as he hits ground and groaning in discomfort. “Ah shit. I guess I wasn’t quick enough,” Vanitas shrugs, staring down at the prone man with an air of disregard to his wellbeing.

Ventus knows that uh… Xemnas? Ansem? Either way- a man he’s not particularly fond of, but Sora’s here, and Vanitas said he was doing him a favour, but god he has no idea what to do about this situation.

Hoarsely from the floor, Nexahs props up on his elbow enough to warble not directly into the pavement, “Vanitas, are you still willing to do me a favour,” his voice is deep and rumbling, but begging.

“Uhg, what is it.”

“Can you take my heart out.”

“….” Pursing his lips in thought, he takes a second to reply, “Now, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but.”

“Trust me?”

“OK- you don’t want _me_ taking out your heart,” so he shifts towards Ventus, who freezes, gulping as his other half wraps around his back and grips onto his forearm, “Summon your keyblade,” Sora skitters out of the way of the situation.

“Wuh- why!”

“You’re going to take out his heart.”

“What- No!” Craning his neck behind, he gives Vanitas an incredulous look to that, still gripped, but refusing to summon his weapon.

Mumbling, Nexahs looks up to give him the most pathetic, pitiful gaze. “I’m running out of time…”

“You hear that? The poor man is dying.”

“How is taking out his heart going to help that?!”

“I don’t know- but I know that _he_ knows,” casually, he shakes Ventus’ gripped forearm for good measure, until the familiar blade appears in his hand. “Alright! Come on,” stepping them forwards, Nexahs tilts up his posture as far as he can, and with Vanitas’ guidance, presses the tip of his blade to chest. Slowly, and deeply uncomfortably on Nexahs’ end, his heart is pulled from him. It shouldn’t have have been so easy- but he was offering it willingly, so it eases its way out, floating there at the tip and restrained from floating away as it might be inclined to do. Impressively enough, Xemnas does not immediately become unconscious, simply staring down at his heart as it violently attempts to swathe off the darkness swarming it. “Haaaaaa hahah- oh man! Look at that,” Vanitas grimaces, though humoured. His heart is in shambles. “Why were you in the realm of darkness is your heart is so pathetic and broken!”

Xemnas shrugs, weakly, “Sora.”

Suddenly, Ventus jumps, though not too far as to jostle the heart off his keyblade, looking around-, “Ah- Sora!” He’s gone, no where to be seen.

Vanitas doesn’t seem concerned with Sora’s disappearance, holding Ventus steady to keep their trapped heart in place, “Fff- shh, it’s fine, he’ll come back- quit moving! You’re going to drop it.”

“Buh- what are we going to do with it.”

“Dunno,” looking down to Xemnas, both eyes are stark gold now, “What are we doing with it, boss?”

“Uhh..” He stares for a long moment. “I don’t know. He was the one that asked.”

“He?” Ventus tilts his head, eyebrow furrowed.

“The heart. He asked. He didn’t have to time tell me what he meant to do.” Blinking slowly, Xemnas stares at it and its half-shattered self for any kind of input, but unsurprisingly, it has no response.

A familiar but unfamiliar voice, “Ventus? What’s up- OH,” turning from around a corner, Xemnas looks to the side for an exceptionally mirrored sight- himself- almost, but opposite, dark hair and light skin. Terra! Hello, old body. Oh wait- old body! Suddenly, that heart at the tip of his keyblade is shimmering up a storm, still attempting to shake off its darkness, but trapped there. Well, until Vanitas gets the hint, looking between the two of them with a curious hum, and then shakes the heart off, much to Ventus’  audible complaint. It sputters momentarily, but before Terra can react, shoots off to him, implanting itself in his chest. It occurs faster than he can figure what’s happening, but he screams in horror as his brain belated gives him the input of ‘xehanort on the floor, heart implanting itself in his chest.’

-hold please-

Swatting at his chest, his horror can not be contained as he steps backwards uselessly, tripping over his own feet and landing ass onto the ground. “Whu- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOLD PLEASE?”

Ventus shoves at Vanitas for this, removing him from his grip, “What did you DO?”

“I didn’t do shit! He wanted to go- so I let him go!”

-please let my body explain-

Sitting there in shaking silence, Terra just barely manages to have the presence of mind to realize that he isn’t being overtaken by this foreign, implanted heart. Now, that isn’t to say he can’t feel it- but it’s stuffed deep in a corner, simply sharing the space. Like heartburn, though, it’s shedding some level of darkness- but it’s nothing his body can’t handle. Unfortunately, Xemnas doesn’t look like he’s in shape enough to explain, slowly leaning down back to the floor, and curling up on his side, eyes lidded shut.

Now that he’s free from Vanitas grip, Ventus rushes to Terra’s side, “I’m so sorry- Vanitas said he was helping- and Sora was here, and I don’t know what I was doing!”

Raises both hands defensively, Terra successfully shoves his panicked response to the side in the face of his young friend, “Alright, simmer,” he speaks to both of them, himself and Ventus, eyes staring forwards and vacantly, “Can you go get Aqua?”

“Already here,” hoping over the side of a wall, she lands nearby, “I heard you scream- what’s wro- uhh,” she spots Xemnas on the ground, and Vanitas nearby, and then slowly to a panicked Ventus and mentally overwhelmed Terra. “…. Alright... Leave you alone for five minutes…” She sighs, heavily.

“Aqua!” Ventus nearly runs to her, but stops, looking down to Terra and staying there for his sake, “I’m sorry! Vanitas made me take out his heart- and it went inside Terra-“

“But I feel fine,” he interrupts, looking to Aqua apologetically, nervously.

Walking up, she tries to keep her calm, staring him directly into his eyes, but she can tell. There’s no Xehanort there. Not to mention- she’s been informed of Nexahs. She knows the man on the floor over there isn’t Xehanort, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t worried about his heart stuffing itself in Terra’s body. “It…. He told me the ‘body’ would explain,” gesturing to Xemnas on the ground, “But he doesn’t look like he will.”

Vanitas finally speaks, “He was getting consumed by the darkness in the dark world. Guess it wanted somewhere safer to hide from its own body.”

“And what are you doing here,” Aqua levels her gaze on him, discerningly and half-lidded.

“Dropping him off- and Sora, I guess,” hands raise and level behind his head, elbows cocked to the side as he smiles, knowing she can’t hold this against him.

An eyebrow raises incredulously, “Sora? … Where is Sora?”

“Dunno now,” he looks around, “Probably got excited with the scenery, wandered off. He’ll be back.”

“Here- Terra, stay here for now, alright? Ventus, go look for Sora, and I,” she walks to Xemnas corpse, sighing, “Will go stuff this somewhere safe to stew off his collected darkness.” Leaning down, there’s a fair amount of exertion to lift him, but she isn’t a keyblade master for nothing, and Xemnas’ hefty self ends up on her shoulders.

Vanitas looks up at her with an impressed frown on his face, “Sora will come back, trust me.”

“How are you so sure,” she questions, shifting the body across her shoulders to balance.

“I’ve been hanging out with him for a while now. He’s got no sense of tact- but an excellent sense of space.”

Tilting her head, she looks to Ventus, “It doesn’t hurt for you to take a look around.”

“It’s a waste of energy, though,” but he’s tired of arguing his point, so Vanitas wanders to a nearby hedge, and just plops down into the dirt, curling up on himself.

There’s a moment of curious blinking to that, but Xemnas is getting heavy, so she starts walking, giving Ventus a look before she wanders off. “I’ll be right back, Terra.”

He, however, is busy looking at Terra with worry. Settling down now, nothing has changed about the placement of this new heart in his body, so he gives Ventus a firm nod, “It’s fine, man. Go, go see if you can’t find Sora, I’ll be right here.” Nodding back, humming an affirmative tone, the youngest of them rushes off to look. There’s a glance spared to Vanitas nearby, but he seems occupied with becoming unconscious himself, or at least relaxing. Scooting from the ground, Terra places himself somewhat nearby to keep an eye on him, and while Vanitas gives him a concerned look, it isn’t enough to dissuade either of them from doing what they would do.

-i’m sorry-

“Ok…” Terra mumbles, under his breath. Relaxing back on his palms, his gaze wanders to the sky, trying to catch his breath from the panic of earlier- and the darkness simmering inside his core. Practiced in dealing with that by now, it's not too major of an inconvenience. 

-we share the same body-

“I… I guess so.” He means, they share the same ‘structure’ of a body.

-do you know me?-

“Aqua explained once. Ansem told her a ‘somebody’ of Xemnas’ had shown up, I’m assuming you’re him.”

-sort of.-

“You are a very, very strong heart.”

-i had to be. it takes great effort to continue living. i’m sorry i’ve taken you down with me, again.-

Exhaling a laugh, “I… no problem, man, I guess. You aren’t really causing a problem. Just sort of… scared the shit out of me. Almost literally.”

-if I could have warned you, i would have.-

“Well, we’ll figure it out. Get your own body back up and send you home.”

-i would far rather this.-


	13. Chapter 13

Ventus has looked everywhere- and he knows this place well, but there’s no Sora to be found. He swears- he _did_ see him before, walking in from that corridor with Vanitas, but it’s like he’s just vanished. After a half hour of searching, he heads back to Terra in defeat, stopping short at the sight of his friend reclined on his elbows and half asleep on the ground, and his not-friend curled up beneath a bush, entirely unconscious.

“I beat Aqua back?”

“Huh?” Terra perks up, blinking over at him, “I guess so. I guess, uh,  ‘we’ lost track of time,” slowly looking down to Vanitas, who does not register the conversation in his sleep. “I’m not feeling so great either, so I didn’t think to get up…” but as he moves to stand, “Now that you’re pointing out the time, though, now I’m worried she’s in trouble,” and a sigh as he strains to his legs.

Ventus hurries up to him to offer a hand in standing, which Terra doesn’t require but doesn’t mind receiving and taking, “I haven’t heard any yelling or anything, and my phone hasn’t gone off, so I’m not too worried,” frowning, though, “But I couldn’t find Sora.” Looking down to Vanitas as well, eyebrows furrow as his other half continues not to register his surroundings.

Following his line of sight, Terra shrugs, “He just curled up there and hasn’t moved since.”

Raising a hand to rub at the back of his neck, Ventus hums a concerned tone, “Is it weird that I feel bad?”

“Coming from you? No,” with a quiet laugh, Terra lands a hand on his shoulder, giving him a comforting pat, “You’re going to have to tell me if leaving him here while we go find Aqua will be trouble, though.” Sparse in his memory since his reawakening, Terra has next to no frame of reference for Vanitas, other than he’s a split of Ventus’, and was often a Xehanort hell child in the past.

“Uhh…. I mean, he looks pretty down, but… It’s nothing we can’t handle if he starts shit later,” smiling up at him, Ventus turns to head where Aqua had been going, but-

“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you,” barely over his breath and mumbling into the dirt, Vanitas can’t ignore a claim as bold as that, and slowly unfolds himself to sit upright.

“Ohp- thought you were dead there,” Ventus tries to joke, trying to be friendly to his other half in turn with his strangely good behavior.

“You wish,” he gets enough upright, but doesn’t seem completely interested in standing, just sitting with leg legs sprawled and posture loose.

Frowning, “I don’t, really. You can stay here if you want, we were just going to go find Aqua and uh… not-Xemnas.”

Yawning, “I thought you were waiting for Sora.”

“I looked everywhere- I’m starting to wonder if I was hallucinating earlier.”

“He’ll come back here, if you wait.”

“Is that why you’re waiting?”

Vanitas shoots him a glare, and Ventus takes a mental note at his change of eye colour- but he definitely still reads as Vanitas. An ass. “No, I just needed to lay down for a bit.”

“…are you ok?”

“I- yes, I’m fine,” he nearly hisses- and now he’s working his way to standing, struggling to do so, but swatting away any hands that dare attempt to help him.

Still frowning, Ventus shoots a look at Terra for input, but his older friend has no idea what to do with the wayward unversedkin-

-he’s lonely.-

Swallowing at the discomfort of when ‘Xehanort’s heart speaks to him, Terra rolls through that anxiety to give Vanitas his own apologetic look, “You really can just stay here, you know-“ but Vanitas has had absolutely enough of their baseless offerings of friendship. Wordlessly turning on heel, a corridor appears, and he disappears within. “Ahhh… I tried.”

Leveling both hands now to the back of his neck, Ventus groans, “I know he said he chose the darkness, but… argh.”

Giving him another pat, Terra sets them off towards Aqua, “Is not your fault, man.”

-he’ll be back.-

“… Xehanort seems to think he’ll be back.”

A concerned look, “Is that heart talking to you?”

“Yeah. It’s a little weird, but he’s behaving.”

A big, apologetic frown, but they do start walking away, back towards the castle where he thinks Aqua must’ve been heading, “I’m really sorry I let them do that.”

“I wouldn’t be. Sounds like the alternative was destruction. It’s really not bothering me.” Y’know… much. He thinks he’s handling this extremely well all this considering.

-where’d my body go..?- A timid little voice, the wayward heart seems genuinely concerned.

“I don’t know- lets go find Aqua and find out.”

Ventus blinks up at him, confused, “Don’t… know?”

“Oh- sorry, he asked me where his body went, and I told him.”

“Oh! That’s… really strange to me.”

“What’s strange?”

“The way he’s just sort of… talking to you. When I was in Sora, I was asleep, couldn’t really provide input at all, really. And it’s not like because my heart was more hurt or something- I saw it, he’s in a really bad way.”

-no disrespect to your friend, but he underestimates my tenacity. also, i’m not in your heart, i’m just in your body.-

Terra shrugs to his internal response, lips pursing, “I think this heart has had a lot of practice waltzing around on its own.”

Squinting, Ventus isn’t sure he understands, but doesn’t think he’s going to get an answer he will.

 

 

She’s nearly to the castle when the man on her shoulders makes an effort to squirm- and she’s struggling to hold him limp, so any amount of movement has her stopping on heels to garner her balance- “Whoa- hold on there, settle,” but he isn’t enitrely interested in that, so she spots a nearby stonework ledge beneath a bridge to set him down at.

He stares up at her so vacantly she’s hardly sure he’s ‘awake’, but he definitely is, is definitely staring though her an trying to judge the situation. It’s 100% ‘Xemnas’ now, not the ‘Nexahs’ she’s become familiarized with over text, and she ultimately regrets not visiting Radiant Garden to see the wayward shard of their old master Xehanort before it became this kind of issue. Ultimately, it’s more that she looks so akin to her close friend Terra, that she’d putting him off meeting him to avoid the thought of his body hijacking. Terra is home now, however, in his own body- but now she’s looking down at those piercing, gold eyes, edged in orange, putting a pressure between them that she isn’t sure how to break.

Xemnas does, though not realizing the strain, “Do I know you?” He rumbles, voice low and foreboding- but just that hint bit… confused.

“Er-… I, I guess we saw each other in the final battle?” She muses, a hand raising to press against the bottom of her chin and her eyes advert to think about it. “If I’m right in saying you’re ‘Xemnas’.”

He hasn’t heard that name in a while, but suppose, without his heart, he is ‘Xemnas’, so he nods, slowly- but then stops, and shakes his head, no. “Yes. But we’ve met before that.”

Eyebrows furrow significantly to that incredibly mixed response. “I’m not sure we have?”

There’s a long moment of silence where his eyes come back to hers and staaaaares, as he tries to figure out what his memory means by this. “Maybe not. Who are you?”

“Aqua. We were,” she points with a thumb, “heading inside- can we please keep doing that? You seemed pretty insistent I set you down.”

“… You carried me?” He questions like she wasn’t just doing it five minutes ago.

“Yes. Well, until you started moving.” Slowly, he moves to stand himself, but he doesn’t seem terrifyingly steady on his legs. Equally, however, he isn’t interested in getting her help, avoiding the offered hand for stability as he starts to, very unfocused, walk off. “Well- wait, where are you going.”

“Castle?”

“I-… yeah, ok, that’s where we were going, but…” trailing after him, it’s hard to convince him otherwise, but at least he’s being sort of cooperative? She supposes this is going to take longer than she thought it would- Terra would have to wait a bit for her to come back. Checking her phone- no messages, so at least there’s probably no trouble. If Nexahs heart hadn’t hijacked Terra’s body and wandered off. Thinking of that, though, a good question she can ask him, “Why did your heart go to Terra?”

Looking over a shoulder, he gives her a very deadpan expression, and doesn’t immediately respond. After a moment, though, “Same body. Maybe it’s nicer than mine.”

“Same… body?”

“Terra’s body. It is also mine,” gesturing down to himself. “Recovered from another time.”

Ah, like she was thinking about earlier. It truly was ‘Terra’s body? From ‘another time’, though, curious. “.. I wonder if that’s why you think you know me.”

His eyes drift to the side to think about it, but then nods, looking down at his hands introspectively, “Original parts…” Turning back forwards, he continues their very leisurely walk.

“Can you explain to me better what happened?”

“What part.”

“Why you were in the realm of darkness.”

“Sora was there.”

“Why was… Sora there? And why were you after him?”

“He was there because we put him there. We were after him because we were taking him home.”

“Home? So why did you end up here instead of Radiant Garden?”

“Vanitas. We were lost, so Vanitas made a connection to lead us back to the realm of light.”

“A connect- oh, I get it, Ventus right? So, Nexahs went into the dark world to get Sora, became overwhelmed, and your heart went to hide in Terra?”

“That is an apt way to explain it, yes.”

“You don’t sound happy about that,” his tone has been dead and deep for the duration of their stilted conversation.

Giving her the shortest of glances, “I don’t sound _anything._ ”

“… I guess- that’s how nobodies are, right?”

“Yes.”

Something about him feels exceptionally… off, however. Then again- she’s read up all on the nobodies and their apparent lack of emotion- and how often that proved to be incredibly untrue. Rather though, where nobodies would tend to pretend they _have_ the emotions they once did, Xemnas feels much like he’s pretending he _doesn’t_ , but absolutely does. As they head inside, she nearly bumps into his back when he’s stopped at the doorway, peering around in a vague sense of remembrance. “Do you really remember this much?”

“No,” but he hasn’t stopped looking around.

“Keep walking,” a gentle pushing- which at first he resists, giving her a sharp look- but it fades as soon as he meets her eyes, and continues walking as asked, heading up a staircase, “Xehanort’s heart, right? He’d know this place.”

“Xehanort’s heart is elsewhere,” he replies, “This is the other bodies etching. Despite your good work.”

She blinks, confused and unsure of what he means by that. “Ahh… my good…work?”

“Stripped him of his memory- starting something anew. I could thank you for the creation of _my_ existence.”

“I… Hmnn,” lips pursing, she sighs to that thought. Heading towards the stairs, and somewhere she might get him sat down, “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“That is an often thing, unfortunate or fortunate accidents.”

“It didn’t end up helping in the long run.”

Turning back to give her a glance, “No? You delayed the presumed inevitable long enough it no longer became destined, no matter the bumps in between.”

“I… yeah, I guess that is right,” she shrugs, turning them off towards a side room- something akin of a living room, sitting area- and when Xemnas spots a couch, he does not require prompting to find himself sitting on it. Aqua remains standing, watching him as he sits, and stares perceived vacantly out a nearby window to the clouded sky outside. “You’re… hard to read.”

“Indeed,” but he does not look her way.

“I was just going to drop you off, but now I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone here.”

“You should check on your friend.”

“He has Ventus- and if your heart isn’t causing any problems, Terra can handle himself. I do have an idea though. Would Xemnas miss his old, ah… friends?”

That catches his attention, and he slowly looks to her with the barest hint of a raised eyebrow. “’Miss’ them would a misuse of that word.” Wait- he remembers now, what Ansem(the Wise) told Nexahs earlier. Marluxia, Larxene and Luxord. They were around here, weren’t they?

She catches that tiny change in his expression when he realizes, “I know you didn’t get along with all of them, but…”

“I don’t know what I would think of them now,” because he legitimately, honestly has no idea.

“WELL WHAT ABOUT ME,” which has both Aqua and Xemnas startling- though when the voice registers as familiar, he visibly perks up towards the door- and Demyx who stands in the entry.

Peeking around the corner with him are two Marluxia and Larxene, who look significantly less amused to see their old boss being… well, _him_ , and not the ‘somebody’ that Demyx had been telling them about for the past weeks. Aqua speaks, “Oh! I was just going to call you guys- though,” she frowns, “now that I’m looking at your faces, maybe that wasn’t a good idea?,” but Demyx is already walking over, overly cheery.

“I spotted you walking across the boardwalk with him up on your shoulders- you looked like you had the manual labour settled so I didn’t want to interrupt- but now that you’re siiii….tiiiiiing,” finally taking a good, hard look at Xemnas, “AHH. XEMNAS,” which has the other three startling again, but Xemnas is now in ‘Demyx is here’ mode, so he stays grounded despite his outburst being, somehow, worse than they were before.

“Yes. I am Xemnas-“ he is interrupted by hands coming to squish his face.

So distressed, “But _why_ are you Xemnas!”

“Some things occurred. Relax yourself- my heart is not lost, it is just elsewhere,” hands raise to grip around Demyx’s wrists, pulling them away from his face.

So, Demyx opts to hold his own face instead, frowning so deeply, “Oouuhh, I knew I shouldn’t have waited so long to go back to Radiant Garden- but getting off this place is tricky!”

“Is here where you woke up?”

“Yeahp! Don’t know why- it’s not like _I_ ever went to Castle Oblivion.”

Slowly, Xemnas’ eyes trail to Marluxia and Larxene, still by the doorway; not those two nobodies he once knew though, no. Lauriam has an air of legitimate curiosity about him, while Elrena stands back pressed again the doorframe with her arms crossed, unamused. Xemnas speaks to Demyx, though not looking towards him, “I also do not know,” which has Lauriam with a bit of a curious head tilt.

Even Demyx blinks to that, “Darn- I was hoping you’d know!”

“I don’t know where you’re from.”

“Huh? You implied once you did, all of us.”

“I have forgotten.” Which is still as frustrating as it always was.

“Oh shit. Well- that’s ok, it doesn’t really change anything if you don’t know.”

Aqua was settling into watching this conversation occur when her gummiphone rings, taking a step back to answer. A message, from Ansem, -We’ve lost track of Nexahs, and now the Nobodies around town are acting up. My apologies, please keep your guard up.- Sent to her, Riku and the King.

“Oh, shoot,” she regrets not telling him sooner, but responds only to Ansem, -I have Nexahs, but he’s separated, so I technically have Xemnas, and Terra has his heart. It’s kind of complicated. I don’t know why that would make the Nobodies act up, though. He seems like he’s fine.- “Hey, Xemnas?”

Slowly, his gaze moves to hers, “Yes?”

“Are you… good?”

Completely deadpan in expression and tone, but he replies very quickly, “Yes.”

So, she looks to Demyx and the other two for their input on that- and Demyx shrugs, “What for?”

“A message from Ansem- he says the nobodies around Radiant Garden are acting up.”

Squinting, Lauriam speaks, “Acting up like how?” A tone in his voice like he’s familiar with something like this before.

“I’m not sure, I’ll ask.” -Acting up how?-

A reply from Ansem, -Oh, good. I guess he did not heed my advice. You have his heart though? In Terra…?-... Acting up like violently. Like they’re agitated by something. Dilan says his cried in pain before disappearing.-

Her gaze levels on Xemnas again, “Ansem says they’re in pain. Xemnas- I think you need to relax.” She remembers when the several nobodies she’s become quite familiar with landed on her world. Most of the time- very well behaved, but inclined to bouts of uncontrolled emotions. Even worse in Xemnas’ case, she thinks; failingly ‘restrained’ emotions, and pushing them on to his kin.

“I am relaxed.” Sure, he sounds flat, and he looks ‘empty’, but. His old underlings know better.

“Unfortunately, the solution to us, at least back then, was to leave him alone for a few days. That doesn’t seem viable now,” Lauriam sighs, eyes drifting to the roof to think of other option.

“Well wait!” Demyx interjects, “I have sick Xigbar strats,” which has them staring at him incredulously, “just watch,” and before Xemnas has any say on the situation, the man before him turns one heel, and plants ass to lap, sitting. Now, he can’t see Xemnas’ face to gauge his reaction, so he looks to Lauriam and Elrena for input, and they both look mortified.

Lauriam speaks, “I have…. never seen him make a face like that before in my life.”

“I’m like, so infinitely glad I can’t see,” swallowing roughly, but he reaches back to pat a thigh, “You gonna vaporize me again, buddy?” Instead, however, Demyx is gifted with arms loosely wrapping around his waist, and a face pressed into his back. “.. I told you!”

Finally, the other two enter the room from the doorway, because this in infinitely interesting to witness. Elrena questions, shrill, “What do you mean ‘Xigbar strats’- you just _sat_ on him!”

“Yeah- and I watched him do this once! I wasn’t supposed to see- and he said no one would ever believe me.”

“You watched him… _sit_ on Xemnas?”

“Yeahp. All casually like. I thought I was about to witness a murder- but then Xemnas just… Took it.”

“Wuh- whaaaaat. I _still_ don’t believe you.”

“Why would I lie!”

“To make yourself look less stupid doing something like sitting down on the _vaporizer_.”

Sneering, he points a finger at her mocking, “I don’t know if you noticed- but Xemnas never vaporized a single person!”

“He vaporized _you_ a _month_ ago- not to mention all the destroyed worlds and-”

“I MEANT IN THE ORGANIZATION,” he barks back- but settles down when Xemnas _squeezes_ him. Sshhhh. “Ohp,” and he reclines back down into his lap.

“Just because he didn’t do his _own_ vaporizing, doesn’t mean he didn’t vaporize. He had me in Marluxia killed!”

Muffled, “You two were attempting to overthrow me.”

“Yeah well you _shoulda_ murdered me yourself.”

“Xigbar did do this,” Xemnas gestures with an arm, patting Demyx’s leg.

Blinking, Demyx takes that admission in for a moment, before pointing- and then restraining his response, “AhhHAA-haa. Ahem. Aha! I told you!”

“What! Why would you let Xigbar _sit on you_.”

“I don’t know. It just wasn’t unappealing.”

“You pushed your emotionless thing so damn hard- and YET,” Elrena throws up her hands, exasperated.

“You know well that the experience of emotion was based on memories- existent- but you still felt empty, didn’t you. What I was selling you was not _all_ lies.”

Aqua is still watching the situation unfold, -How’s that Nobody situation going?-

-Strangely. Are you doing something?-

-Kind of. His friends came up and they’re talking.-

-Please keep that up. Apologies again, I’ll send someone to come pick him up shortly.-

Aqua interjects mid argument- “Sorry guys- do you mind hanging out here for a little bit? I have to go get Terra, he’s holding onto Xemnas’ heart and I need to make sure they’re behaving.”

“Of course, Aqua, it’s no problem at all,” Lauriam responds, vacating himself from her way and gesturing to the door with a wide swing of his arm and a small bow. “We will wait right here.”

“Try to keep him off his feet, I’m noticing he just likes to do his own thing,” she frets, but head towards the door. On her way out, though, she looks to Demyx, who remains planted on Xemnas lap, and he offers her two big thumbs up and a wide grin.

“I’ll stay right here! He’s trapped.”

“I could easily lift you,” Xemnas rumbles, looking up just barely over the top of his hair towards Aqua as she turns to leave with a frown.

“Buh- but you won’t!”

“Maybe.” He sounds awfully… humoured.

Now that it’s just the four of them, “… Xemnas,” tilting almost all the way around, Demyx makes an effort to look at him, but tilts to hide behind his back.

“Yes?”

“Are you _sure_ you don’t have your heart?” Demyx speaks timidly, barely over his breath, but the silence in the rest of the room, it’s not like Lauriam and Elrena can’t hear. Apparently they’ve missed a few interactions between Xemnas and Demyx, however, because they are looking awfully friendly for the ruthless leader of Organization XIII and his most lazy underling.

“No, I saw it, Vanitas took it from me when it asked.”

“…heh? Vanitas? Why did he…. Ooouu, you’ve probably had to explain to other people already, I’m sorry.”

“You have missed much. To put a long, complicated story short, we, Nexahs, found Sora in a dreaming place, threw him into the realm of darkness, and then had to collect him here. He was found there by Vanitas- which was advantageous, because Nexahs became disoriented and lost in the dark. However, as I filled with darkness, my shattered heart was overcome, and took refuge somewhere apparently more hospitable than me.”

It takes him a long moment to take all that in- squinting in thought and giving Lauriam a look to the way Xemnas words his last sentence, but questions something else, first. “You found Sora?! You were… looking for Sora?”

“Yes, and yes.”

“I thought he was dead.”

“No, he was never dead. You are aware he defeated my original, Xehanort.”

“I mean like… not explicitly, no.”

“No one told you anything ever.”

“I didn’t ask!”

Elrena interjects, “Can you blame them though.”

“Shh you! You died before I did- BOTH times.”

“Because you never stuck your head out of the broom closet!”

It interrupts them when from beneath, Xemnas rolls into low, quiet laughter. “… Xemnas, are you SURE you don’t have your own heart?!”

“I- you two, you children of mine, never change,” he laughs through his words, pressing his face into Demyx’s back. “I don’t know anymore. I saw a heart leave me- I don’t know why I feel now.”

“… Can someone have more than one heart.”

“….wait….yes. Yes I do.” He’s seen it. Ansem and Ienzo told him, and showed him, that second heart- if you could ever call it that. The barest remnants of it. It was so barren, he didn’t immediately remember it existed. “Sort of.”

“Sort of? How do you.. sort of, have your own heart.”

“I perhaps started growing one, but instead of fostering it, let it fester in nothingness. However, my unfortunate tenacity, it continues to live.”

“I’m not so sure! Now, don’t call me the science man- but if it was left to rot, wouldn’t it have had to flee for its life like the other one when you filled with darkness?”

“… That is definitely a confusing variable. Suppose I will have to investigate that at a later date.”

Aqua re-enters in a rush, with Terra and Ventus in tow- “Uhh, Xemnas?”

Perking up from behind Demyx to his name, he still looks as flat in expression as he tends to be, “Yes?”

“Are you good still?”

The slightest cant of his head, “… I think so?” Which is a far softer response than before, so she does take it to be genuine, but. “Why?”

“A significant proportion of your nobodies are showing up here- if not.. all of them.”

“Oh fuck-,” Elrena darts to the window to peer outside- and sure enough, the lawn is…coated, in nobodies.

“… Oh….” He has no good answer to that, but he squeezes his eyes shut, and… thinks, for a minute. Unfortunately, the response to that is that his closest come straight to him, and suddenly the somewhat spacious sitting area is gusted with air when 6 sorcerers appear- not to mention two familiar samurai, three dusks and one little kitsune that skitters to his legs. “…Aahhh…. No….”

Everyone ducks out of the way- Aqua and her two taking a step back outside of the room, while Lauriam and Elrena are pressed to a wall with some distressed noises and words- “Xemnas what the fuck!”

“I didn’t mean to,” he’s being flattened into the couch by Demyx now, who’s squirming to get out of the way when sorcerers approach but remains unwilling to get off Xemnas’ lap. He promised Aqua he wouldn’t.

“Whoa whOA THERE FRIENDS,” because they sure look and feel like they’re being violent, but they simply hover over him, hands entrapped in their sleeves.

Xemnas reaches around the man on his lap, touching over an offending hooded face as it leans forwards, “Shhh, stop that,” and it does, backing up just a touch. “You’re fine.”

-Are you fine.-

“Yes, everything is fine. Maybe,” he tilts around Demyx, looking to Terra by the door- but he looks fine. Pathetically fine. Without thinking, Xemnas’ nose wrinkles in distaste- and the nobodies turn to the man at the door instead, which has Ventus and Aqua immediately on the defense, keyblades drawn. They’d been harassed in the courtyard as well.

“Wuh- whoa, whoa wait!” Demxys shrills, readjusting his weight with hands clamping Xemnas’ thighs, “Xemnas _stop being jealous_!”

All nobodies freeze in one jolted motion that leaves their usually flexing body disturbingly stiff; Xemnas sloooowly looks around to Demyx, eyes narrowing. “…. Oh, is that what this is?”

“Yes, you big turd!” Roughly, he plants his ass back down on lap, shoving him into the couch and earning him a muffled sound of discontent. “I was going to mention it earlier, but we kept talking about other things!”

As quickly as they had appeared, the nobodies disappear into the void, though the two samurai and the kitsune remain. “That makes sense.”

Terra, quietly from the hall, “He’s jealous of my body?!”

“Oh, it sounds worse when he says it like that,” Xemnas mumbles, still compressed into the couch by Demyx’s back.

Aqua, slowly lowering her keyblade back down now that violence isn’t immediately occurring, and re-entering the room, “How soon can I put your heart back in you.”

“I wouldn’t know.”

Terra sighs from behind, hands balling into stressed fists, “Not yet, apparently.”

Turning back to him, Aqua replies, “Does he care to say _why?”_

“Too much darkness. It’s why he can’t control his nobodies- or rather, why he’s controlling them too instinctively.”

Narrowing his eyes, Xemnas rasps from a distance, “and what makes you think you know everything more than I do.”

Terra objects, “I don’t know anything-“

“Not _you_ \- the heart that is mocking me from afar.”

Demyx shrills once more, breaking the situation before it can continue, “NEXAHS STOP ARUGING WITH _YOURSELF.”_

Sinking back into the couch, “Alright,” Xemnas is stiff bodied beneath him, but is trying not to be… mad. And jealous, apparently.

There’s a long moment of silence before Elrena speaks, “Edym, are you the boss now.”

“… Oh please no.”

“It’s too late! Look at you- bossing around the boss. You’ll have to get your act together~.”

“I refuse!” But he doesn’t remove himself from his post, and he’s still ready to tell Xemnas to shut the front door at any moment. Blinking, though, he looks too the doorway with a thought, “… Xemnas said there was a Sora and Vanitas walking around,” he brings up just to change the subject.

“Uhh..-oh!” Ventus chimes in, “Vanitas left, and Sora is.. somewhere.”

“Aw, but he just showed up. I thought he was dead!”

“Who, Vanitas or Sora?”

“….Both.”

Xemnas sits up, looking around Demyx, “Oh- You two,” to the samurai that suspiciously remained, but less suspiciously now, “Sora. You feel him,” and one nods, “Well? Where.”

-Nearby. Up.-

“…Up?”

-Up.-

“He’s climbed the side of the castle.”

… Ventus slowly shrugs up with both arms, “Well, I didn’t look up!” and he turns on heel, heading back out,

“Let me come with,” Terra follows, “I think we should keep me and him away from each other a bit longer.”

Demyx chimes in, “Agreed! No offense to you, Terra.”

“None taken!” As they two head out to look for Sora, ‘up’.

Aqua, also following along, “You guys keep staying out of trouble, alright?” Edym nods to this, once again offering thumbs up.

-Master. Something is wrong with him.-

“Indeed, he is quite unwell.”

-He is quite apart.-

“…Oh?”

-I know not how else to explain.-

“I will.. We, when I am myself again, will figure it out.” Because he _will_ be together again. No matter how jealous he apparently is of Terra and his more hospitable body, it is his heart, or his ‘other’ heart, and they’ve made quite amicable steps in being Nexahs- as the universe decreed they should be in creating him. And it’s not like Terra _wants_ to keep it- and Xemnas… he is sure his heart wants to come back to him, in time. They knew when they stepped into the realm of darkness, a situation like this may occur. It’s honestly a blessing the other man was available to help- or the worse, his heart devoured by the darkness, and lost forever. Sure, as Demyx- or rather, Edym, Elrena called him? He might theorize he might have his ‘own’ heart, or pieces of it, but it’s not the same as his original, fully connected heart, no matter how in shambles it is. His precious, well earned heart. Turned into something so much unlike its original- and now outlived it, as well.

\-----

As they head back outside again, Ventus gaze is stuck upwards, squinting to the light of the sun above them and the many, many parapets that Sora could perhaps be perched upon. Aqua and Terra are busy looking down- because the lawn is still coated in nobodies, and last time they were outside, they chased them inside. Now, however, they’re just… chilling, honestly, giving them spare glances and then skittering away when the three somebodies get too close.

“There’s so many places he could be! Why is the castle so big…” Ventus whines, rubbing his face.

Looking up herself, Aqua sighs, “I’ll head up higher to look,” she glances around the architecture for places to hop up on, but stops to the feeling of a dark presence suddenly beside her.

“I keep telling you- if you just wait, he’ll come back. You don’t have to put in so much effort,” Vanitas appears, tired and grumpy, but looking up at the castle walls alongside his other.

Ventus jumps to that, not expecting the sudden appearance, “Buh- wuh! Uh… hello again!... What’s up.”

Eyebrow raised, Aqua questions, “I thought you said he left?”

The other two freeze, because it would’ve been nicer if she didn’t question his return, but Vanitas seems unphased, “Well, I was ‘left’, but the dark word started filling with god damned Nobodies, and I came back to question it- and turns out this shit hole is full too. What did you three _do.”_

“We didn’t do anything!” Ventus immediately defends himself, “Xemnas is being weird. So it’s more like what did _you_ do.”

Leveling a cold gaze to his other, “Coulda let him die in the dark world. Just woulda been me relaxing by myself. No nobody entourage, no this particular moment right now,” slowly, he blinks, and then looks up to the walls again. “Up there,” he points with one lazy finger.

Again, Ventus looks up- and sure enough, “Oh! He is there!”

“He’ll come towards you,” Vanitas squints, “But he won’t come down. He’s just watching.”

“… is that normal.”

“Yeahp.”

Shaking her head, Aqua moves to start climbing, “Well, at least he’s there.”

“I don’t know why I’m repeating myself- he’ll come down if you waaaaait,” his ‘wait’ elongated by a yawn, clacking his teeth back shut again as he gives her the laziest look.

“No- I heard you the first time, sorry. I appreciate your input on the matter, and you sharing your experience, but I would personally be more comfortable if he was down and safe now, where I can keep an eye on him, alright?”

A slowly blink, but Vanitas shrugs, “Alright, whatever.” Easier said than done, though, and while she makes a good headway up the side, Sora spots her and immediately becomes Away From Her. Shouting up at her from the ground, “I told you. If he doesn’t want to be bothered, he ain’t coming.”

Rolling his eyes, Ventus shoots his other a sharp look, “Not helping.”

“Neither are you.” Since, the three boys are still down on the ground.

“I- I didn’t want to get in her way..!”

“It might work easier if you could pin him down from two sides- but it also might make him go up further.”

Terra rubs his chin, humming his thought when an invasive little voice speaks up, -i can ask the nobody for help, i think.-

“Oh? I guess since they sort of.. float, huh.”

Both of them look up at Terra just talking to himself, but Ventus remembers, “What’s Xehanort say?”

“He thinks he could ask a nobody to grab him... And it’s not Xehanort, sorry, it’s Nexahs.”

“Is that heart we took out talking to you?” Vanitas asks, incredulous.

“Yeah, it’s weird.”

Taunting him, Vanitas lowers his stance and sneers, “And you’re _sure_ it’s not Xehanort, _again?”_

Terra rolls his eyes, looking back up to Aqua, who is not making much headway to Sora. He’s too sneaky- but he’s staying within eyeshot. Maybe he thinks they’re playing. “It’s _not_ Xehanort. You would know I’m intimately familiar with what your creator feels like inside me.”

“What a way to word it,” he waves a dismissive hand in front of his face before righting his posture, “Suppose you’re right.”

-i’m not trying to hijack your head, but this is going to feel like it.-

Mumbling to himself, “Not Xehanorts heart, huh,” sighing, Terra squeezes shut his eyes as his brain fills with a moderate about of fog and fuzz- greeting his brain with muffled, far-off speaking, mumbled and endlessly in his head. How incredibly uncomfortable! His eyes open again, swallowing roughly- and then before him, three sorcerers appear. You know, the ones that were attacking him about five minutes ago.

-My Liege.-

“…Ahhhh… Shit, I guess that is me,” he blinks, looking to Ventus, who startles.

“Terra! Your eyes!”

Blinking, “What about my eyes.” He feels fine now? Other than the unintelligible warbling. Looking upwards- no Terra, we can’t see our own eyes.

“Uhnm…..” Ventus shoots a glance to his other, who just shrugs, “… nevermind!”

“That’s very ominous of you, Ven.”

“If you feel fine, I don’t want to make you feel weird! Uh… Nobodies?” He looks to the three beside them now, and one at the front splits its apparent head, revealing its true face beneath. Chomp chomp.

-My Liege, you have summoned us.-

“Oh- yeah, shit, I did didn’t I… Up there- You see Sora, and Aqua?”

-Yes.-

“Can you go up there and tug Sora down to where she can reach him?”

-Yes,- and they disappear up the roof, slowly working to herd Sora around, but keeping out of reach of him, because while he doesn’t seem interested in harming Aqua, Sora will totally whack a nobody or two with his keyblade.

Now that he thinks about it, Terra still hears those little whispers of the nobodies around him, though he doesn’t exactly parse the meaning of their words. “Is Xemnas… always like this?”

-yes. one learns to ignore it.-

“And I guess that’s why they all got weird when he was upset.”

-yes. i apologize again. he should burn through the rest of his darkness by the end of the evening and regain composure, and i’ll be on my way.-

“Alright.” In a night? That seems quick. “Man- you really are a completely different person now. It’s really… sad, honestly.” Ventus and Vanitas are just standing there, missing half a conversation- Vanitas doesn’t really care, and Ven isn’t about to ask him to explain after every sentence. He can give him the details later.

-as it is. you know well what darkness does to a person’s sense of self. completely warping your personality, your perception of things _. i_ still was never the xehanort you knew, however. i took your body and his heart and made a new being with it. we were a scientist in radiant garden, before, you know… that ideal life faded.-

“Aw, that sounds… kinda nice, actually. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out.”

-i’m not. this way, when things rounded out, you were able to make yourself again. do you remember much of your time as my guardian?-

“I… not really, no. I mean- I know what you’re talking about, but I don’t… Do I _want_ to remember that?”

-not really. maybe though? i wouldn’t know- i’m not you. i should let you know, though, now that i’m sitting closer, you don’t need to speak out loud. your friend looks confused-, and Terra looks down at Ventus, suddenly sheepish and a red to his face as he realizes.

“Oh- shit, sorry, I was just, you know-“

“No, it’s ok! If you’re having a good talk, you have a talk! I’ve been watching Aqua- she’s almost got him.”

Looking up, Terra sees Aqua on a high pillar, reaching up to grab a sleeve, but not quite reaching. That is, until a sorcerer appears from behind, and with cubes, roughly shoves Sora off the side. If he fell, the sorcerer would catch him, but Aqua is quick on the uptake and snags Sora up by an arm, hauling him onto her side of the roof. Now it is time for the slow descent, but at least Sora seems to accept he lost their game of cat and mouse and doesn’t make it any harder than it needs to be. He isn’t necessarily helping either, though. “Yeah, sorry. Nexahs heart is just… telling me some things. He’s really friendly- and it makes me sad that Xehanort was probably friendly once too.”

Frowning, “Yeah… He might’ve been. Him and Eraqus were friends, right?”

“You bet.”

-eraqus? please tell me who eraqus is.-

“Oh- Master Eraqus was, well.. our Master, who taught us to be keyblade wielders... Actually- how do you... not, know him?”

-im not xehanort. i don’t hold his memories, just what he told me, and what I could barely glean with science. he mentioned no eraqus. were they friends?-

“… No, they weren’t friends. At least, not at the end of his life. Xehanort killed him… though, I admittedly helped.” Well, until they apparently made up at the very end as ghosts and floated off into wherever they went. Terra still isn’t completely sure he understands what happened then. Then again- if ones heart can recover from darkness and convert so wholly into a different state of mind…

-darkness?-

“Darkness.”

-it does that sometimes.-

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me. Doesn’t stop it from… hurting, though.”

-it won’t. but it’s a thought to hold in your heart to keep yourself afloat, yes?- Softly, Terra laughs, and nods to himself.

On her last few steps down, “Well, that was an adventure! What’s with the nobodies? Not that I’ll begrudge the help.”

“Oh- that was me!” Terra raises a hand, “I mean… It wasn’t me, but it was me- you get it.”

Nodding, and laughing, “Yeah, I get it,” she has a death grip on Sora’s wrist, and tugs him towards the group, his head held low and sulking. “Wanna head back?”

“Yeah, of course.”

-let me see if I can quiet the voices.-

“It’s ok if you can’t, I got pretty dizzy when you turned them on, so you might want to wait until we’re sitting.”

Aqua looks very confused, “I’m sorry, what?”

Ven interjects, “He’s talking to Nexahs heart! He helped him control the nobodies, right?”

“Yeah- sorry, he’s even told me I don’t have to speak out loud, but easier said than done. Also, it might be weird if I just stood there silently?” Just, ten minutes of him standing there, staring vacantly at nothing. Wouldn’t that be weird.

“Oh, ok,” she sounds and looks very concerned, because she noticed one of his eyes has gone… dark- but it’s not yellow, so…? And he looks very cognizant of himself. “Do you need a moment?”

“No, we’ll settle it back inside. I think we’d rather see Sora somewhere he can’t wander his way out of.”

“I don’t see what you guys are so insistent I hang out!” Sora barks, still leaning away from where Aqua has him gripped.

“Sora,” Terra sighs, approaching, “Are you aware of where you were found.”

Squinting, his nose wrinkles in distaste, “I know more than you.”

“If you know so much, then how do you not understand when your friends are concerned for you?”

-a darkness warps the mind.-

“I understand concerned- but I’ve been is much dire straits than up a tower. Much, much much much more dire.”

“Can you just do us a favor, just this once, and stick on the ground?”

Sticking out his tongue a moment, “I can try, but I’m not going to promise,” so he stops tugging, and Aqua releases him.

“Alright, back inside to regroup,” she heads towards the castle, and Terra moves to lead from behind- but Ven is staring at Vanitas- because his other looks about ready to pass out and die again. “Oh, shoot,” turning back on heel, she still has no idea what to do with the wayward other. He attempts to take a step back from her, but stumbles, snarling; Ventus gets a thought in his head, shifting off his jacket, and casually tossing it over Vanitas’ head. It… somehow, works, and he remains fixed in position, like a dog caught in a blanket.

“I’m sorry, man,” Ven sighs, “Aqua, can we drag him home for now, too?”

“Yeah… yeah we can,” cautiously, she moves to pick him up, more precariously than she had for Xemnas earlier, and with his head covered, he remains limp, and settles on her hip, breathing laboured. However, this also meant all three wayfairers took their eyes off the body. I mean, their eyes off the Sora. “.. Terra!” Aqua barks- though restrained, because she doesn’t want to startle Vanitas ‘awake’.

“Wh- I, god damnit,” turning on heel, and Ventus as well, because he couldn’t have gotten far in about ten seconds, and sure enough, Ventus turns a corner and spots him-

But something isn’t quite right.

Standing affixed in his spot, ‘Sora’ looks like he’s in the middle of a stepping motion, but it jolts back into position, repeating itself rapidly. Before Ven can exclaim this absolutely fucking weird behavior- another Sora, the one he’s familiar with, dirty clothes and longer hair, jumps over a walkway, slam dunking his hand through this stilted figures form, and is disappears in a splash of sparkling light, “GOTCHA!”

“… SORA,” now he manages to exclaim, rushing forwards to grab him, “You weren’t supposed to leave! Also what was _THAT_.”

“Ohf-“ he is grabbed by the wrist, but doesn’t complain, “Sorry! I had to grab that! Couldn’t let it wander around, getting into shenanigans, y’know.”

“But… what _was that_.”

“Me.”

A very concerned look on his face, “Y…you?”

Sora looks back at him, excited- almost too excited, disturbingly happy, “Yeah! _I’m everywhere, aren’t ~?”_

Ven can’t help but take a step back to that, releasing his grip on his wrist, taken aback by the overwhelming darkness- and to his relief, Terra is right behind him and takes it a step further, scooping Sora right up under his arm. “Buh- oh, Terra, sorry, I just,” Ventus stammers.

“No, I uh, saw that from a bit away, definitely worth that reaction.”

-i have no idea what that was about. the other sora, not that mood swing. you know what the mood swing is.-

Upside down and thoroughly captured now, “Ahh, I’m sorry Ven. I didn’t mean to get all spooky there. Please don’t be mad.” He does sound genuinely sorry.

“I- I’m not mad! It’s ok Sora. I know you’re… sick, right?”

“Is that right?” Terra is comfortable holding his weight, and he isn’t struggling, so they head back to Aqua, who hasn’t moved, and the Vanitas that remains listless under her arm.

“Aqua- it’s getting weirder by the minute.”

“That’s never what I want to hear,” she sighs, heading them towards inside again now that she sees Terra has a thorough grasp on their capture.

“Sora seems… splintered.”

“…What?”

Ventus warbles, “There was another Sora, but it was just.. I don’t know what it was. It wasn’t right.”

Muffled, “It was just some me, guys. It’s not as bad as you’re making it seem.”

“Sora, man, there shouldn’t be ‘you’ not in… you!”

“Maybe not. But that’s just how it is!”

\-----

“Hey Xemnas?”

Perked from his thoughts, he tilts around Edym to meet his eyes, “Yes?”

“So uh… earlier, I was like, Xigbar strats, but like, can I tell you a secret?”

His gaze looks beyond him, to Lauriam and Elrena nearby, who have found the other couch to sit and observe on. The kitsune has found its way to Lauriam’s lap, and he’s very curiously playing with it, while the samurai are peering out the window. There are still an amount of nobodies in the courtyard and around the grass, but they’re not doing much but wiggling around ineffectually. “As secret as something can be in a room with several other people in it?”

“Oh- I mean, they know Xigbar shows up here sometimes- but kinda recently? Like, a week ago, he showed up, acting really…weird. Told me you’d be making a fuss soon, didn’t tell me how he knew that.”

“Told you to sit on me?”

“Told me that you’d settled down if I gave you a pat. I mean- I did see him sit on you once, too! So I just made that connection myself.”

“Ah, so very like him. Acting strange, though?”

“Yeah like, really frantic? He was such a relaxed guy before, so it was pretty stark. Here and gone in about 10 minutes. Haven’t seen him since. He told me not to tell but he also knows it’s me and I don’t… secrets.”

“You do not, and he does know this. Strange. Thank you for informing me.” He wishes he felt more concerned about Xigbar than this- but he can hold onto the thought for when he gets his true heart back.

“You gonna go find him, too?”

“No- he will have to come to me. He’s too quick to catch.”

Reclining, but slightly to the side as not to continue crushing him into the cushions, Edym looks sidelong to Xemnas as his gaze in turn falls to the other man and his flopping. “I hope so. He was pretty ok. At least, I think.”

Aqua returns a short while later with her two- and two more; one Sora found high on a ledge looking over the horizon, now captured and tucked beneath Terra’s arm, and one Vanitas, who Aqua holds on her hip with a coat thrown over his head and unconscious once more. The three former organization members sans Xemnas are in various states of bare consciousness themselves, but the aforementioned ex-leader is at attention to the sound of movement from the hallway, and when they enter, “Is it well outside now?”

Aqua replies, a soft look on her face, “Yeah, there’s still lots out there, but they’re staying out of trouble- one helped grab Sora where we couldn’t quite reach him.”

“I don’t know why you guys are so insistent I be down,” muffled from under Terra’s arm, who hefts up his weight for good measure, jostling a laugh from the prone teen.

Terra speaks down to him, “And I don’t understand why you insisted to be up.”

“More to see!”

Ventus sighs, looking down to Sora while he slips inside, and then to Vanitas in Aqua’s arm with concern, “It is a good view. You should try to stay down here where we can keep an eye on you, Sora.”

“’Cause you think I’m sick?” He sticks out his tongue, wriggling in Terra’s grasp to peer up at him.

Setting the boy down, but keeping a sharp eye on him, Terra replies, “You _are_ sick, there’s no ‘thinking’ it.”

Rolling his eyes, his hands level to the back of his head, but Sora can tell when he isn’t going to win this argument. “Aaaalright, alright, I’ll stay put for now.”

Xemnas is staring at Vanitas as well, and casually removes the unconscious Edym from his lap, who awakes with a startled ‘buhwuht’. “Can I see that closer?” He motions to Aqua, and the figure she holds in her arms like a child.

Raising an eyebrow to his choice of words, she opens her mouth to remark to that, but recalls ‘Xemnas’, and comes over to offer her capture. When he reaches to pull that cloth up from over his head, Xemnas is met with a wide, unfocused gaze, so Vanitas is not unconscious- or perhaps he is, because he doesn’t seem to register what is occurring around him. “They’re both sick, it seems,” Xemnas rumbles, and moves to take Vanitas entirely, shifting their positions so Vanitas is squished close on the couch to him, but opposite to Edym. Awake now, Edym timidly and silently watches the situation unfold, eyes darting to Lauriam and Elrena, who are both equally without input.

“I can’t say I know how Vanitas works,” Aqua sighs, discouraged by his vacant expression, “I’m hoping against the two of them having some sort of clash that left them both within a bit of each other, if that makes sense.”

“I understand what you mean. However- it should be known when I found Sora, he was much like this- and that this was before he was left with Vanitas in the realm of darkness. Both are sick, but I doubt it is for similar or related reasons.”

“That’s good to know- well, sort of. That still doesn’t leave me with any solutions to these problems.”

Slumped again Xemnas now, Vanitas’ eyes abruptly close, and he produces a noise akin to sleeping. Yellow gaze flicking to him for a moment, and then back to Aqua, “Unversed are fueled by the darkness of negative emotions. Suppose he might be able to make up the difference in the dark realm, but out here might prove to be an exhausting existence to live. I know not how he has managed to survive destruction at Sora’s hands.” Then again- why was Vanitas returned here, then? Ventus already said he left once.

“Huh? I never killed him,” Sora strolls over, plopping himself on the ground at Xemnas legs, and peering up at Ventus standing nearby. Spotting that look, the other boy comes over as well, crossing legs and sitting pressed to Sora’s thigh, while Aqua and Terra remain standing nearby.

“You have- a long time ago, not recently.” To him, at least, Xemnas suspects. This Sora seems quite a bit… rusted.

“Ohhh, ok, I guess I don’t remember. Even though I hardly forget anything nowadays,” he shrugs, an incredulous tone to his voice.

Staring down at him half lidded for a long moment, Xemnas finds himself busy ignoring Terra and his wayward heart standing nearby with Sora related hypothesises- because now it appears as if his heart is somewhat channeling through him, and one eye wears that dark black iris of his missing piece. Don’t you dare betray me, heart. “When did you die, Sora?” That sets the lot of the rest of them on edge, because is that really a question you ask someone?

Craning his neck backwards, he peers up at Xemnas upside-down, not appearing to be turned off by this question. “Ahhh… we went to the keyblade graveyard…. Terra showed up- and then…. Hmnn,” he squints, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, “Maybe I don’t remember everything.”

“That is a premature recollection of that. Very curious.” Suddenly, to the side of him where Ventus sits, the air puffs with smoke, and the teens lap is overtaken by a curious little… creature. Xemnas would guess it was a plush animal, if it didn’t immediately pose with stubby little arms, looking between the crowd around him. As he recalls through his memories, though, he realizes it’s likely a little dream-eater, or spirit, though it doesn’t entirely explain its existence. One question at a time, however, and that can wait for later.

“Ah!” Ventus exclaims, wrapping digits around its chubby midsection, “Chirithy! What’s up, buddy?”

“Sorry, I just sort of poofed in, didn’t I.” No one else seems particularly concerned by this, though Elrena adverts her eyes, sinking into the couch with a sigh. Xemnas’ trails his gaze across the room to that- Lauriam seems more restrainedly sad alongside his female friend, and Edym just looks confused.

“It’s ok! You just don’t usually like showing up in front of a crowd.”

Looking between the lot of them, Chirithy shrugs, “No, not unless I have something important to tell you. And I do! I have an answer to your questions! Well… maybe not all of them, but some of them.”

Blinking, Ventus tilts a confused head, “Questions?”

“What’s wrong with Sora,” Chirithy exclaims, pointing with nubbin paws to Sora beside him, who points at his own face in blinking confusion. “Do you remember me, Sora?”

“Ahhh… Uhmmm…. I feel like I do? But not in my head.”

“That’s fair. I think I fell out of the Final World way before you started clumping together.”

Ventus tilts his head around to give Chirithy a baffled expression, “What- clumped?”

“Ohhhhkay, this is kind of a complicated story.”

Xemnas speaks, “Please tell me in the greatest detail you are able.”

“Auhh,” he shrinks when Xemnas speaks, nervous of their old enemy, “Ah, alright. So- Sora died in a timeline or two, or more, you know how it is- and at one point, sort of… fell apart, in a far-off place called the Final World. It’s a place where people go to wait- that’s why I was there, waiting for Ventus.... In a rush to return back to finish the fight, Sora collected all the pieces he needed to ‘exist’, but not all the pieces he left behind! He told me he ‘got them all’, and I trusted him, but when I went back, there was a whole lotta bits and pieces he just left there! I thought they would fade into the light there, but I’m thinking that this here,” he gestures to ‘Sora’ once more, “Might be a bunch of those pieces clumping together to be the best ‘Sora’ they can be.”

Ventus hums, “That explains what we saw in the courtyard….”

Xemnas speaks, “I found this Sora in a far-off world of pure, radiant light.”

“Uhh..hmmnn… Maybe he wandered off? Did you wander off, Sora.”

“Could you have expected me to just sit there?” He tilts his head, looking up at Xemnas curiously. Sora doesn’t seem to be at all concerned with the explanation this spirit was giving them.

“I guess not! Since your heart couldn’t stick around long enough to get all the pieces of his soul in order.”

“…Aahhh…. You’re a Nobody,” Xemnas sighs, a hand raising to rub his face at the dots connecting. Now that it’s been placed so plainly before him, it’s quite obvious. Not ‘quite’ though, this thing isn’t completely without a heart- but it’s definitely… ‘incorrect’. Much akin to the heart Xemnas currently fosters within him. Stunted, ‘regrown’.

“Oh, is that right?” Sora hums, tone nearly offended.

“Yes. And in order to refuse fading into the light, you filled yourself with darkness.”

Planting his head in his palms, Sora’s gaze falls to Chirithy, “If you say so.”

Vanitas perks beside him, eyes flicking open as he rumbles into semi-consciousness, looking around in the utmost confusion; Xemnas grabs that coat again, pulling it over his head with a ‘shhh’, which receives him a great rumbling in response. Just as Chirithy had entered earlier, the air puffs with magic- but on Vanitas’ lap instead. Now everyone but Sora is concerned when another little dream eater appears beside him. Differently coloured, all purple and tan, and it doesn’t care about the strange looks it gets as it pats its nubbins over Vanitas’ covered face. Sora perks up from his spot, giving the darker Chirithy a few pokes to the butt, before it whips around, whapping the offending hand away from booty range while the offender laughs. “Hey Chirithy!”

The original Chirithy peeps, however, “Ah! YOU,” pointing an accusing paw.

Tilting just around to peer at his other with a single red eye, “Ah, me?” They sound identical. Scooting away from the couch, Ventus holds his Chirithy close to chest, though its light dwelling other seems more curious than concerned.

“… who are you!”

One hand is still gently patting at Vanitas’ head, while the other muses to point back at his other, “I’m YOU!”

“… How can you be me!”

Ventus eyes squeeze shut when he realizes, “Oh man- how long have you been… Probably the whole time, huh.”

He nods, crawling up on his human’s head, “The whole time! He hates me.”

Xemnas hums, “You are crawling on his head. Can you blame his distaste.”

“I only get to hang out when he’s tired!”

Reaching over, Xemnas snags the dream eater by the cape, pulling it off Vanitas before the prone other erupts into consciousness, “You will give him nightmares.”

Dangling there, “Yeah, but he likes that.”

The other Chirithy, “That’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to do!”

Peering down from between his limbs, “We have different jobs, you and I. I’m glad we can finally meet, though, anyways.”

Ventus finally releases him, and Chirithy skitters up to peer at his other from underneath as Xemnas holds him dangling upwards. “Have you really been since… then?”

“Yeah. I was lost for a while, but we always find our person, don’t we?”

“Ah… eventually!”

Mumbling from an opposite couch, Elrena mumbles, “Every wielder gets one, right.”

Chirithy perks, turning his gaze to her, looking back to his other dangling a few times, before waddling up to Elrena and Lauriam. They both freeze uncomfortably, but he crawls onto her lap, and sits there, “I don’t think Ventus minds sharing, if you don’t mind.”

With a nervous laugh, Ventus is still busy looking at Vanitas’ Chirithy in Xemnas’ grip, “No, I definitely don’t mind.”

Slowly, she shoves her face into the back of his head. Chirithy sighs, looking between them all, “Well, I’m glad I could solve at least some of your Sora mystery.”

“Yes, if you are correct, at least. This, however, gives me more issues to work with,” since it seems to eager to whap Vanitas with its tiny hands, Xemnas sets the dream eater back down, and it curls up next to his face instead, up on his shoulder, more gently squishing into the side of his head. Curiously enough, Vanitas actually appears to relax.

Pouting, Sora gives Xemnas a snarling look, which momentarily does not look humoured, but he remembers to soften, “Well, sorry that nothing turns out the way you want it to. It never does.”

“That it does not, little Sora soul pieces.”

Waving a dismissive hand, his expression warps again, “I’m just- I’m just Sora.”

“Yes, you are. This is better than what we had before, which was nothing.”

Laying down on the floor, muffled and barely propped up on his arms, “I don’t appreciate being one step up from nothing to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am aware in the secret reports that apparently xemnas is a heart from a different timeline stuffed in a replica body, but i treat it as one of those 'i see the councils decision, but since it was a stupid ass decision, i've elected to ignore it' because who made these replicas before vexen was there??? why does xemnas still claim not to feel his emotions until the end???? it's just sort of a weird removal of a very important to me trait of KH2 xemnas' character. i like the implication that all of them started to grow new hearts- but i do not agree that xemnas would have a heart that could support him. just me! >:o!!! we know time travel can occur without heart splitting, we did it in 2... 'course my ansem(sod) and xemnas have completely split from their original timelines....


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> entirely non sexual bed sharing, because I was told bed sharing was always sexual and y'know fuck that noise.
> 
> i'm sorry this is 11k words long I didn't know where to break it up and vanitas and ventus wouldn't shut the fuck up

Ahhh… As his eyes slowly open to the darkness, but beneath him, this familiar platform- how long has it been since I’ve seen you, if I have ever? He must have, once, or he wouldn’t find the sight of it so elating, sitting cross legged and staring down at the obscured glass beneath. Hands press to smooth over its thinly veiled surface, and as his fingers spread across, flecks of its covering peel off to reveal the glass etched images beneath; the wisps dislodge into pure white birds; feathers litter the floor as they disappear into glittering dust around void that surrounds. Terra is too busy taking his time inspecting every inch of the floor beneath him that he hardly registers there’s more light than one might be expect, setting the darkness around him quite aglow. He’s just so excited to see his platform as all his own, unobscured and existing so wholeheartedly. Himself asleep at the center, Aqua and Ventus to accompany him. An intricate lacework of colour and symbols that breathes life into his being, his core, empowered by the sight of himself living all of his own desire, his own self.

-This is very cute to watch.- Startling, hearing a voice this close to his core is terrifying to Terra- he looks up, equally surprised to find another platform much akin to his own- but mirrored, floating ‘upside down’ to his- but perhaps not, because there’s another figure sitting opposite to him like Terra, above and ‘flipped’, seemingly unaffected by gravity. The other platform remains obscured, coated in a decaying layer of darkness that obscures the mirrored image of Ansem, Seeker of Darkness, laying asleep and quite akin to the other platform beneath Terra. Cracking across the surface of it, though, through the darkness and even shattered the glass beneath, light shines, pulsing with his heartbeat. -Oh, no, sorry, relax please. I’m just sitting very close. There’s no fighting here. Your heart and body are yours.- Oh, that’s right- Xehanort’s heart. Or not- because the man opposite looks more like a darker skinned imprint of himself rather than the old man he’s familiar with. Squeezing his eyes shut, he focuses on speaking, but when his mouth opens, nothing comes. Instead, he speaks through his mind across the distance.

-Oh… I remember now, yeah…- He was willingly housing the wayward heart, but its different to see it like this, in this place internal.

-Sorry. I didn’t mean, and don’t mean to scare you.-

-You are sitting… close,- Terra repeats the other man’s statement, moving to stand. Easing his weight up- and when Ansem does as well, they’re eye to eye, his soft blues meeting with dull, abyssal black. -Uhh… Why are you here, then..?-

-I suppose I wanted to see you as you laid, maybe ask you a question or two. It’s nice to see… you. I bet that sounds strange coming from me.-

-It really does. You’re… really not Xehanort..,- he does not recall Xehanort having those dark eyes, -not the one I knew.-

-I certainly seem like someone completely different. I will admit, I hold on to some of your wayward master’s memories, but it’s more like watching through a screen. An old, worn video that misses so many details at the side. Not like someone whose lived it. I worked quite hard to attempt bringing his dream to life, however, so don’t credit me innocent.-

-So… you’re when you called yourself Ansem, right?- He’s heard the stories at this point. This wayward Xehanort heart made quite the mark on the world- and Terra was somewhat there to witness it, as his Guardian. As he’d told him earlier, though… He doesn’t really remember it, shrouded in his heartlesses frame.

-Yes, that is, ‘me’. That probably does not comfort you.-

-N-…no, not really. But… You’ve been hanging around all day, not really causing trouble. Aqua had spoke of you once, but said you were being.. someone else? I didn’t really understand, and I tried to ignore it… because the thought of you was frightening.-

-That is understandable. I’m trying to be something far, far away from the original owner of this heart,- he presses a hand to his chest, humming, -No Xehanort isn’t taking it back, at this point. A wonder though, how a heart can convert itself into something so new, isn’t it?-

Shaking his head, -I wouldn’t know. I know Master Eraqus and Aqua often talked about the malleability of a heart, but that wasn’t something I paid much attention to.-

-You’d rather learn to fight, correct?-

-Yeah… I just wanted to be strong enough to protect my friends.-

-And I just wanted to understand the heart. We’ve both learned a very hard lesson in balancing and restraint, hmn?- Slowly, Ansem moves his center of balance, bending awkwardly and arching a leg forwards until the gravity changes, and he hops down to Terra’s platform instead. -Don’t mind me, I just think it’s a bit awkward talking to you upside down.-

It doesn’t feel weird or possess-y to have Ansem on his side, and he does agree this position is better for conversation, but Terra still swallows nervously, taking a step back at the other man’s approach, so Ansem keeps his distance. -You said you wanted to ask me something?-

-Yes, I do. I think my body might have many things in common with you, at least in the things he does instinctually.-

-I mean… it was my body, right?-

-True, but my heart etched deep into him before I left, because you don’t seem too terrifyingly interested in the pursuit of science.-

-Well, I wouldn’t say… that, but I guess, yeah, I’d rather focus on other things.-

-Tell me if you’d like to learn my secrets, I’d gladly teach you.-

-I know you’re not trying to sound ominous, but that sounds… really ominous.-

Stifling a silent laugh, -Unfortunately, I can not help myself but sound this way…-

Looking up at his damaged platform, Terra’s eyebrows furrow, -What’s wrong with your heart?-

-I’m not entirely sure, to be honest with you,- Ansem raises his hands to chest level, focusing a silent moment before pulling out his glowing, shattered heart. Startling to him just casually pulling out his heart, Terra stares incredulously before taking a step forwards, peering at it with reserved curiosity. -I think it’s, well, old. Between my long waited life and Xehanort’s life, it’s.. lived. But I have seen older hearts than mine. Perhaps they were more gentle with it.-

-It sounded like you beat yourself to hell.-

-The price of the strength and knowledge I wielded.-

-You think that’s the price of everyone who wields the darkness?-

-It could be. Equally, I’ve seen hearts shattered by light as well.-

-…Really?-

-Yes. Everything is moderation, Terra. Everything. Xehanort spoke of this, and while he ended up neglecting to practice it himself, he knew it well.-

-Yeah… he did say that before. He said it more like ‘balance’, though, wanted to balance my darkness against the light of my friends, and my master.-

-Eraqus, correct?-

-Yeah… do you remember him now?-

-Yes, or at least somewhat, now that you clarified the memory. You said we weren’t friends, but I think we were.-

-I… I’d like to believe that, but you destroyed him in cold blood.- Not that Terra… helped, that situation.

-Darkness does things to your thoughts. Clouds your judgement to make you think it’s absolute is correct. I’ve moved beyond its restraints now, but you’re right. Xehanort absolutely killed his friend in cold blood, for a lack of understanding between the two of them.- Sighing, Ansem looks completely downtrodden by this, gaze listing to the floor. -Destroyed him so far to have stripped him from my thoughts and memories entirely. Even as I re-awoke with the scrapings of knowledge from my original. I almost regret you’ve reminded me.-

-Well, I don’t. He deserves to be remembered.-

-I will remember him, I promise.- Standing there before him, Ansem holds his broken heart as it bleeds darkness while they speak, but as the conversation dies, so does that bleed, leaving it faintly glowing pink between his palms. It’s a whole heart there, but it’s greying, muted, cracked into shards that cling together desperately.

Frowning, Terra reaches over to drag fingers across its surface, and Ansem allows this to occur, -I think you need to treat yourself better.-

With an air of vacancy, Ansem stares down at his borrowed, stolen even heart, musing it over with a finger himself, -It’s hard, and I feel you will know this well. When you make mistakes that drastically change the lives of everyone around you, for the worse, your focus shifts away from the health of yourself. You want to give everything you can to everyone to set things right.-

Eyebrows furrowing, Terra’s gaze adverts, but then his posture returns, staring at the other man before him, -… You definitely got that from me, and not Xehanort.-

-Is that right?-

-Well, at least I’m going to say that. If you inherited anything from me.-

-I think you’re right. Xehanort thought he was controlling to help us all, but he’d never stick his neck out for someone else.- Slowly, Ansem sinks his heart back inside his chest, gaze raising from the floor to meet with Terra’s, a solemn air about them both.

After that moments silence, Terra speaks, -Well, then I’m glad. Glad you two can be something beyond that. You two like, you, and Xemnas. Or I guess you’ll be one again eventually.-

-I… What I want most, is for my body to be happy. I’m not sure I’m doing a very good job.-

-Well, he seems like he’s lost without you. All jealousy and frustration.-

-That he is. Unfortunately, something else Xehanort was very good at? Creating things that were built to suffer. Between me, my rejected body and now, as I see him, Vanitas. It’s almost no wonder I’d wished to reset it all alongside my original.-

-As much as I understand the sentiment behind that, as someone who’s made some bad mistakes myself… Erasing mistakes doesn’t happen like that. You can only face them… But, honestly, it sounds like that’s what you’re trying to do.-

-I did hope so, but it’s always nice to hear it from someone else. Especially from someone who has all rights to hate me.-

-Ah… I don’t think I even hate ‘you’. I’m not even sure if I ‘hate’ Xehanort in the end. Like you said, and honestly, like I’ve felt myself? I know how the darkness can really warp a persons sense of self.-

Smiling warmly, Ansem’s gaze rises from the floor to meet Terra’s, -you’re secretly very soft, you know. You remind me terribly of someone else I know fondly.-

A tilted head, it’s strange to see a smile like that, but he doesn’t show his surprise, to the smile at least. To the reminding him of someone, though, -Oh? Someone I’d know?-

-Riku.-

-Oh… yeah, that’s right. I gave him my keyblade after seeing myself in him like that. Accidentally... ruined his life, because it lead you straight to him, I think.-

-I mean, technically? It saved his life, because he was able to defend himself. Otherwise, I would have consumed his island in darkness, and them all along with it, unimpeded.-

-That’s a nicer way to put it, yeah- hhgg….uh…. - something is crawling in his stomach, interrupting his train of thought with a sense of dread that shakes his body; Terra’s posture fails him as his arms instinctively wrap around his chest. A rough swallow in his throat as a sweat sets in. He knows this feeling well, at least, but it’s a shame it can rock him from a place like this that should be comforting.

Tilting his head, Ansem gives him a concerned look, -You need to wake up.-

-It’s not as easy as just telling myself to wake up,- he rasps, slowly lowering to his knees and clutching himself. -I think I’m having a nightmare.- Ah, shoot. The darkness he’d bled off his heart before, it must have sunk into Terra’s. Not enough to be that detrimental, but definitely enough to cause nightmares to those who would deny it or miscontrol it.

When Ansem realizes Terra is waking, and he is on the incorrect platform, Ansem moves to get back on his reversed other, but reality falls out underneath him before he manages, and they both blink from this existence.

 

Even more shoot, when Ansem’s eyes reopen he sees clearly from someone else’s view. Albeit exceptionally similar, a younger frame; Terra’s body lacks the pain Xemnas’ did, but it still feels distinctly… wrong. Without thinking, he sits up in bed in this borrowed body, focusing on Terra’s heart to try convince him to wake in his own form, but he seems to rather sleep for now. Now that Ansem is awake and abating the nightmare. Ahhh, damn. Alright, this is likely a favour I can do for you, so sleep well.

“Terra?” A soft voice beside him in bed, his spine stiffens when Aqua peers up at him in the moonlit darkness. Actually… it’s quite well lit in here, with a light on in the corner and the light filtering in from an open window. At first Ansem registered it as his dark eyes adjusting well, but instead its just literal light. Perhaps Aqua is not a fan of the dark anymore, enough she sleeps with lights on, not to mention sharing her sleeping space. Unsurprising. Now becomes the thought of seeing if he can pretend to be Terra for a few minutes until she settles, or if he should outright tell her the truth. Surely, she will recognize quickly he is not him. He wonders how his voice will sound- as he isn’t fully possessing him, Terra remains his normal hue in skin and hair, and perhaps that means his voice will still register Terra, but it’s so hard to say. “…Terra…?”

“Please remain calm.” He does sound like Terra- but that isn’t a thing he would actively say, so Aqua stiffens, scooting away nervously.

“… What are you doing.”

“Terra was having a nightmare, and I accidentally slipped into here,” slowly edging towards the bed, Ansem assumes she isn’t going to want to share a bed with him, regardless to the body he inhabits.

“W- where are you, going,” but he’s gripped by an arm, looking back at her with duo toned eyes; Terra’s familiar blue, and Ansem’s strange black.

“I didn’t think you would want me just laying down again.”

“I don’t want you wandering off, either. If you go fall asleep, Terra will wake up somewhere strange, and that’s not fair to him.”

“I’d hope he would be able to discern the situation, but if you’d rather not.” He isn’t familiar with this world, so finding somewhere to nap off Terra’s nightmare might’ve been tricky, so this isn’t unappealing. He isn’t willing to disobey Aqua’s request either, as a refusal could be seen as admission of guilt. Settling back down, he stares at the roof vacantly- in the night, he isn’t tired.

She stares at him from her side of the bed, eyes wide and concerned, “… You slipped?”

“Yes. We were talking about something, though I don’t exactly remember what. He began to wake up from his nightmare, but I must have gotten in the way. Now he’s comfortable just to rest when I can keep his mind at ease.”

“That lazy butt,” Ansem stifles a laugh at her teasing her tired friend. Quietly, as she shifts back under her covers, “I won’t lie, this is still really uncomfortable.”

“It’s not ideal, but I haven’t been in an ideal position for quite a while now, so I’m more than used to it. Unfortunately though, and once again, I take down people with me, even accidentally,” and he sighs, eyes lidding with a furrowed brow.

“So… Is it Xehanort?”

“I like this new name my body has accepted, ‘Nexahs’. In all technically, though, yes, I am Xehanort. It’s a more long-winded adventure than that, though.”

“I’m not sure how much sleep I’ll be getting now, and I didn’t get the story out of Xemnas earlier. If you’d do me the favour.”

“I don’t see why not. This heart that I am was owned by the man you knew, but accidentally stripped itself of its memories in a bid to obtain Terra’s body. You’d tossed us out of the dark realm, and we ended up on Ansem the Wise’s doorstep, where we had earlier fought. They took me in and trained me in their science of the heart, and I used it… improperly, so to speak.”

Interrupting, “Actually… Can I ask another question about that?”

“Of course.”

“I sent you off with my keyblade, and armor.”

“Oh….Yes, yes you did…” ….ahh… where did that end up… “Mnn, Xemnas has them.”

“… He… He kept them?”

“Yes. Without the full memories of Xehanort, he did not know what to make of them. With Terra’s etched memories, he deigned to keep them close to himself, under the hope they would one day tell him the secrets he required.”

“… Aw, that’s… sad, honestly. But if they’re still around, that would be nice. Without Eraqus, it’s been hard to find someone who makes armor like ours was.”

“I feel like Xemnas also knows how to make that armor, that integrates with your weapon. He’d worked to copy it in order to obtain its secrets.”

“I don’t know what made him think my armor was anything sentient.”

“Because Terra’s was.”

“… Oh, that’s right… But, I was still around. There was nothing to give it.”

“It was a stretch, indeed.” Outstretching his hand before him, Ansem flexes digits before his face, humming. “You’d given me that keyblade, but didn’t deign me to own it. Alas, I could never convince it to work for me. Alternatively, I was bound to Xehanort’s No Name as well. Perhaps they did not see eye to eye.”

“Do the keyblades have such a will to decide something like that?”

“Seeing as I could not convince it to wield for me despite you willingly giving it to me, I’d say very much so.”

“I don’t know if I did give it to ‘you’ willingly. I was giving it to Terra. I guess, it could also be because you had that other keyblade too.”

“Would you let Terra use it now?”

“.. Probably? I have the Master’s keyblade now. I wouldn’t begrudge my original blade, but I don’t need it.”

Flexing out his hand again, Ansem squeezes his eyes shut to focus. This is Terra’s body, and Terra is willed to use the given blade. He also no longer has the No Name. Would you give me your time of day this time? If I summon you, you might return to your master. In a glittering flash of light, the Rainfell appears in his grasp, to Aqua’s vocal surprise. “Wh- how?!”

“You gave it to Terra,” he hums, but then delicately offers it to its original master, as he’d promised it.

“I-… I don’t need it either anymore…” she rasps, reaching up for it; she drags a finger across the blade of it, musing a thought. “Why don’t… you keep it.”

Blinking, he tilts a curious head at her. He’d been neglecting a good look at her before, unsure of how she sleeps, but she’s quite curled up in her blanket despite the bare outstretched arm. “Are you sure?”

“… Yeah,” she slinks back her limb, holding eye contact with him and his obtained keyblade. “You summoned it. What’s the difference now. And I’d hate for it to have to lay unused somewhere. It served me very well.”

“That it did,” he hums, reaching across his chest to lay it down against the bedside table. It doesn’t seem mad about this turn of events. “You know well this means you’re technically giving this to Nexahs.”

“I do. Even with what I saw of Xemnas earlier, I don’t feel like I’m making a bad choice. I’d like to think it came to your call now for a reason.”

“Perhaps. I’ll get him to share where he’s put your armor as well, so you might have that back. You can’t bless me with that one- I would not fit it.”

Stifling a laugh, Aqua settles deep beneath her covers, staring up at the roof. “Without our armor, we can’t readily leave this place.”

“Not much of a gummi ship flier?”

“No… We all tried to get a hang of it, but it never stuck. They keep meaning to give us lessons, but it’s hard to find the time. Terra has his armor, and he leaves when he can to explore for us.”

“I guess that is why Demyx did not return.”

“I mean… he was also nervous. I’m the one that found him laying in the grass, awakening fresh and scared.”

“I know very little of him but the borrowed memories of my body- but as he is elsewhere, I can’t say much now.”

“He said his death was at Nexahs’ hands.”

“That is how that occurred, yes.”

“I thought that was confusing, but Lauriam explained sort of? Destroying a nobody to return its heart?”

“Yes, that was the reasoning. We could have done it with more tact. Nexahs is very much inexperienced with making sound decisions.”

“Seeing as you’re hiding out in someone else’s body because you went unprotected into the dark world just this morning….”

“I actually am unsure how long I was down there. Did Ansem say how long I was gone?”

“Uhh.. No, he didn’t, and now it’s too late to ask.”

“I’ll ask him myself later,” hmnn, he’s actually managing to feel tired. Then again- not his body. Perhaps Terra sleeps at night, like some sort of normal human man. Yawning, his eyes lid, nose wrinkling in discomfort.

“There we go. Talked you to sleep,” Aqua hums, rolling up in her blanket with a soft sigh. “Good night, Nexahs.”

“Good night. I hope the next time we speak, I will be elsewhere.”

\---

By the time Edym actually managed to herd Xemnas back to the back rooms where the wayward no-longer-nobodies have been squatting in since they landed, the man seems barely conscious and Edym is at his wits end. Aqua was not lying when he said ‘keep him off his feet, because he’ll do what he wants’, and tired Xemnas gets so lost, so unmoveable, so quickly. If he was capable of just picking him up and hauling him away, he would, but Edym remains to be as skinny as his nobody was, and neither Lauriam or Elrena are interested in doing anything except watch Edym desperately attempt to keep Xemnas in line. Between the nobodies that still litter the courtyard, everything proves to be distracting, but unlike Sora, he does at least keep within sight. Then again- he refuses to come when called. The final straw comes when in frustration, he summons the favour of his old dancers, and they obtain the favor of a sorcerer or two, and scooping up their master, drag his ass into the building, down the halls, and to Edym’s room.

“I thought Luxord was here,” he muses out loud, scoping out this new place with a curious eye. It’s almost like a separate living area- he finds many places in this castle were built to house perhaps more than 4 people at once, but in its passing years, less and less people stayed. The new somebodies have taken over this hall, somewhat cleaned and sorted. Easily, Xemnas can read which part of each room is designated to the nature of his old underlings, and he absolutely catches ‘scents’ of Luxord.

“He is! Somewhere. He comes and goes,” Edym shrugs, sneaking behind him to shut door and shove him ineffectually inside a dirty side bedroom. Demyx’s bedroom. He’s only been here a spare few weeks, but already the floor is littered with refuse and clothes. Same as it ever was.

“What’s his name?” It takes a few shoves, but of his own will, Xemnas steps inside.

“Rould,” shove shove, “We’ll find him tomorrow, ok?? Everyone else has already been in bed for hours!”

“I prefer being awake at night,” he hums, but he is getting tired. Not as tired as Edym is, and perhaps once the other man becomes unconscious, Xemnas can find something to occupy his mind with once more.

“Of course you do you edgy fuck,” Edym hisses, and Xemnas laughs at his newfound boldness.

“I think I like this new you,” he hums, continuing his forward motion until he’s nearly about to topple over onto un-made bed, wrinkled sheets and a blanket crowded at the foot, “Still foolish, but unapologetic about it.” Tilting on heel, Xemnas moves from Edym’s grasp, plopping ass to bed. He’s still only in Dilan’s old black coat, sweatpants beneath. He’d woken up in a hurry this morning. Several mornings ago? Who knows how long he was down there.

“Excuse me, rude! Have I been ‘foolishly’ trying to get you to sit down all night, huh-OUF,” not expecting the pressure to change, Edym slips past his pressing into Xemnas back, and lands face first into bed with a muffled yelp. Holding there for a moment before raising up on his palms to gasp, “You did that on purpose!”

“How else would I have done it.”

“A little warning, maybe!”

“Ah. I don’t know why you were bothering to push, you weren’t moving me.”

“Because it’s SOMETHING to get you to go in a _direction_ ,” he flips onto his back, sighing dramatically with arms outstretched above his head. “Man, I knew you were strong headed, but it’s a different experience. Is this was Xigbar and Saix had to deal with?”

“No. I am infinitely more confused now than I ever was back then. Suppose though, they did manipulate me in their own ways. You just don’t have the same way with words as them.”

“Or the strength! It’s not fair- I’m working with a handicap!”

“You have a strength. The strength of being amusing enough I’m not finding your oppression offensive enough to fight you.”

“UUuuhhggg- but I’m tired, Xemnas.”

“I’m sure it would’ve taken Saix all night to convince me to sit as well, if I was in a mood such as this.”

“Really? You wouldn’t have just listened to him.”

“No. I don’t listen to him as often as you seem to be implying.”

“What about Xigbar, huh??”

“Hmn…. Yes, I’d listen more to Xigbar…. He has your foolishness but a wit behind it sharp as any knife.”

“Darnit! My strength is still undermined by someone else.”

“Don’t be so sure. His wit causes him strife you don’t have to deal with. Without it, you instead have a vacancy that leaves you more placated with life.”

“You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you,” Edym rumbles, sort of at least, it’s hard for him to sound intimidating. An arm folds over across his eyes and he sighs, overcome with the sleepies.

“Are you not enjoying your new life, Edym?”

“I mean… when I’m not chasing you around?... mostly, I guess.”

“Mostly?”

“Being stuck here with Lauriam and _Elrena_ and sometimes Rould is not the greatest.”

“You never called. No one knew you were here.”

“No, I know, I’m just….” So much sighing, whining, “I wasn’t friends with any of you guys. I was just something to laugh at.”

… oh, well now he feels bad. “Were any of us friends?”

“Axel and Roxas and the other girl, what’s her name.”

“Xion.”

“Yeah. Sorry, I don’t know why she’s hard to remember.”

“There’s science behind that, don’t feel bad. Other than those three, then?”

“Weren’t you friends with Saix? Xigbar?”

“No, not really. We were using each other for personal gain.”

“Oh, huh. I mean. I can’t even think of one person I was remotely close to.”

“That is troublesome, but I can’t say I disagree.”

“You’re supposed to lie, Xemnas.”

Tilting his head, “What would I lie?”

“You’re supposed to be like, ‘oh no Edym, I’m sure there was at least one person.”

“But there wasn’t.”

“YOU-,” an arm flings itself out, ineffectually whapping Xemnas in the side, “You are so YOU- I bet even Nexahs would say the same thing!”

“Yes. Is this terribly wrong of me?”

“… Nah. Honesty has its uses.”

“Alternatively, at least I do not believe anyone distinctly hated you.”

“So, is it ok not to be liked, if I’m also not hated?”

“I was disliked and hated.”

“… truuuuuue.”

“Now who’s the one being cruelly honest.”

Sticking out his tongue, “You started it.”

“Suppose I did.”

“Why are you still sitting up! How are you still awaaaaaake….”

Slowly, he inhales, holding it before sighing through his nose, “I’m not about to sleep in my clothes, but I equally wasn’t about to strip in front of you.”

“Buh? What would I care. I mean, that’s the same reason I’m still in my pants,” he whines, kicking out his legs. “Can we both agree to just be cool about it.”

“Absolutely,” he’s already unzipping his coat and shifting out of it. To his credit, it is undamaged despite the short scuffle down in the realm of darkness. Dilan will get his stupid coat back.

Despite saying they would be ‘cool’ about it, a hand reaches to Xemnas’ bare back, “What’s that?” The scar there, or he presumes at least. Craning his head back, he still can’t see it.

“I am unsure. Nexahs was born with it.”

Still trailing a finger over it, “Looks like someone carved it into your back.”

“They very well could have, but I do not remember the experience, and neither did Namine find the completed memory of my time before being reborn to recall that detail. I doubt it matters,” he looks down to Edym now, his head curiously tilted.

Retrieving his hand, Edym squirms to be out of his pants, “What about Namine? Was she fussing around with your memories too?... she can do that?”

“Yes. I forget you’ve missed a measure of details as of late. I was staying it Twilight Town after being ostracized for destroying you. As a note- I wish you would have elaborated on the ‘science’ Even had used to reclaim his heart, because Ansem gave me quite the scolding for not offering his option to you.”

“What! I didn’t think I could use the science!?”

“Apparently, it was an option.”

“Well it’s not like Ansem pushed it! He barely mentioned it! That’s not my fault. Or hell, your fault.”

“I agree, but I also do not give him enough credit elsewhere. It’s a learning experience.”

“So- Namine? Memories? Apparently whatever she did didn’t work, because you’re still a train wreck.”

“Much of todays mental train wreck is my requirement to deny the darkness a space in myself. It is not an easy task.”

“You doing ok with that?”

“Yes. I am surviving. You are helping me significantly, and I appreciate this.”

“I just wanted you to sit down….”

“Just keeping me company makes everything much easier.”

“I mean, I can’t just let you wander around…”

“You could have easily left the task of me with the Master of this castle, which is Aqua, yes?”

“Yeah, it’s Aqua- but that would’ve been mean to her!” Under his breath, “I mean, I also just wanted to hang out.”

“Why is that?”

“Heh- wuh, why is what?”

“Why do you want to, ‘hang out’.”

Pantsless now, but at least in his underwear, Edym flops back down, sighing. “Your Xemnas-ing isn’t helping the situation.”

“It will be rectified soon. You think I will understand better once I am complete again?”

“I don’t know… I hope you will. But- and I mean you did warn me, getting a full heart again didn’t really.. Make me understand why things feel the way they do.”

“I do remember the feeling of that, even if I don’t ‘feel’ it currently.”

“Well, it was all about ‘remembering’ to feel, right?”

“I thought you would have made much of your new heart by now that you’d be in tune with your emotions like Axel was, but perhaps not.”

“Like, does pretending to be cheery make you cheery? Aren’t hearts born of friendship?”

“Or memory.”

Sighing softly again, he simply lays there prone across his mattress, peering up at Xemnas’ back as he remains sitting up. “Are you waiting for me to pass out.”

“… a little.”

“NO-,” he whaps out a hand to grab arm, ineffectually tugging, “LAY DOWN- puhleeeeeeeasseeee,” ohhh that is a very familiar whine, “I’ll get in trouble if you wander away! Do you want me to get in trouble….”

Slowly, Xemnas covers his face with both hands, grumbling, “You haven’t lost your tricks, I see.”

Still whining, “This one never worked on you or Saix! Feel my desperation!”

Well…. Alright. Portions of him feel that tingling of exhaustion in his chest, he could lay down and at least find some motes of rest in his bones. Edym’s bed isn’t about to be comfortable enough for two, but if Edym thinks they’re apt to try. Regardless to his prior thinking, he’s about to receive a Xemnas pressed directly against his body as he joins him in laying.

Apparently he did not consider this, peeping, “Ohp- fuck, I, well alright.”

“You did this to yourself.”

“I absolutely did,” but he squirms just a bit, struggling to shift them both more on the bed rather than dangling legs off the edge… which once again, does not work until Xemnas deigns he’s had enough fun watching him suffer, and moves himself. “Why are you like this!”

“It’s fun?” He hums, though he truly can not tell if it’s ‘fun’; without his true heart, there’s not enough internal feedback. Now that they’re laying up the bed rather than off it, there’s even less room, but Xemnas doesn’t have an opinion to the close quarters, and Edym is desperate to keep him down for the night. Edym is close to the wall, and Xemnas dangles and arm off the side, fishing his feet around until it finds wrinkled sheet to toss over his legs. Look at me, Edym. I’m pretending to go to bed.

“Do you know fun,” he mumbles, immediately calling him out of that.

“I don’t ‘know’ fun, but I might feel it. I might be remembering how Nexahs feels it.”

“Dang. Well, since you’ve been doing this literally all evening, night now, I’m going to say you think it’s fun. And that’s so mean.”

“Am I known to be a nice person, Edym?”

Pursing his lips, he leans up enough to meet up with Xemnas gaze, “Nexahs is nice.”

Looking back at him with a raised brow, “I assure you, he’s about this nice.”

Flopping back down, “well… I guess this is better than old timey Xemnas.”

“And how is that?”

“You never teased at all. You never did anything. I mean- no, you did things, but I mean, you never. Really reacted to much at all.”

“I don’t know what I would’ve needed to react too.”

“I don’t know! We were all big stupid idiots running around your castle like… like big stupid idiots!”

“For your information… I think I did enjoy watching you all fumble around stupidly, until your stupidity killed you, and then it was inconvenient.”

“I kinda felt like you did, or else you would’ve put your foot down more on the shenanigans, but it doesn’t disprove what I said. You didn’t react to any of it, so it’s like. How do you judge someone after that?”

“My apologies that I don’t know the answer.”

“Er, I guess it was rhetorical. If I don’t know it, I can’t expect you to know.”

“Excuse me, I know many things.”

“Not when it comes to feeling the feelings! Or… pretending to feel the feelings and then getting the feelings back and not being so great at it anymore.”

“That was a mouthful.”

“I lack verbal tact.”

“Except when you don’t?”

“I like to keep people on their toes!”

“You like to keep people out of your way.”

“…. That’s because people always want me to do things.”

“This is why you never managed to make ‘friends’.”

“…aww.”

“We were a very work focused organization, Edym. However, to your benefit- we aren’t anymore. You are free to be as lazy as you want.”

“Not really! I had to spend my WHOLE NIGHT chasing after you!”

“And what have you been doing for the weeks you’ve been here?”

Slowly, he sits up, looking at the disaster area that is his room. “….uhh…. sleeping a lot… eating and stuff….uhm…”

Eyebrow furrow, “that is… too lazy, actually.”

“…yeah, I know,” laying back down, “and what were you doing? I mean, I know you were in Twilight Town…. Hanging out with Isa?”

“Ah, I didn’t finish that story, that’s right. Yes, a bit of visiting Isa, but I honestly spent more time with Namine. I was living in her house. I did a lot of crayon science.”

Giving him an incredulous glance, “… I’m sorry what.”

“I wrote down a lot of science, but on paper, with crayons.”

Very quietly, “….why.”

“It made it feel less serious, so I worried less about breaking ‘rules’.”

“… Banned from science!”

“It did not work. I went home and did the science. Ansem was very mad at me.”

“…Whaaaaat, kind of science?”

“I made a new nobody type. Remember earlier, the little fox one.”

“Oh yeah! I saw that and was confused but didn’t question it! I expected Lauriam too… but he just played with its legs.”

“I think he took it back to his room, honestly.”

“… could you use it to spy on him?”

“… I, _could_ , but Edym, that would be _bad_ of me.”

“You’re already doing it, aren’t you.”

“I can’t help myself. Him and Elrena are already asleep and were up to nothing before that.”

“Uuhhgggg, I knew I should’ve gotten Rould’s gambler to… tell you.”

“That you were here and awake?”

“Y-…yeah….”

“I haven’t had a conversation with that one yet, but I’ve seen it. Just one gambler?”

“Yeahp, just the one. Don’t know why. Sends it out on errands for him. I have three dancers that keep around me, but none of Lauriam’s or Elrena’s will respond to them.”

“Generation 2’s. They’re significantly more aggressive, per Xehanort’s demands. All the new gamblers should be aggressive too, but I must have missed one.”

“They didn’t seem as attached to them anyways. Didn’t have all that time we did with ours!”

“Yes, I was still toying with theirs before they prematurely perished.”

“None for them, then~. My dancers like playing with them, at least.”

“Dilan has all 26 of his dragoons in his workshop. They litter the floor.”

Shaking with quiet laughter, “Holy shit I want to see that so, incredibly bad.”

“If you had your phone still, Ienzo posts pictures often.”

“I wasn’t reborn with it!”

“Or else you might have called me?”

“….ha….m-…miiiight haaaaave….”

“I know you were avoiding me, Edym. You don’t have to toy around saying it like that. Were you scared?”

His spine stiffens, and he’d squirm away if there was anywhere to go, but he’s pressed against the wall. “I-….yeaah.”

“I did destroy you.”

“But you did it to help me.”

“That doesn’t stop it from being painful and startling.”

“… it sure didn’t.”

“But you’re not scared now.”

“No… Once I saw you, I realized nothing was going to happen. But I guess I had to see you first.”

“Even as Xemnas?”

“Even as Xemnas!”

“Emotions are a very fickle thing.”

“I thought I’d be better at this, but I’m really not.”

“None of us are. Xion and Isa battle their aggression. Even battles his neuroticism. Dilan battles his guilt. We’re _all_ stunted and broken. You are not alone in these feelings.”

“Yeah, but I’m like, a cheery guy.”

“Are you? Or were you.”

“Uhhmm….” He whines, rolling over to shove his face into wrinkles blankets and pillow in frustration.

“Edym, you are too tired. I am not going anywhere. You sleep, I will remain.”

Muffled, “You sleep too!”

“I will try.”

Lifting his head just barely enough to speak, “maybe between the two of us we’ll have enough braincells and emotions to make one functioning, adult human being.”

Shrugging, “I’d like to try.”

Peering over at him with a tilted head a tone of confusion, “Eh? I mean, I was joking, but.”

“I… like, having you around, Edym. Or I would have killed you long before. There was always more vessels.”

“… Only because I know the way your brain works, Xemnas, do I realize that’s sweet of you to say."

 

\----

There’s not much else they can do tonight, and with the combined anxieties of all parties washing them over, everyone opts for an early night in. Deciding who goes where is a momentary trouble, but Ventus opts to watch both Sora and Vanitas, while Xemnas finds himself comfortable in the hole Edym has been calling home.

At least, Vanitas seems to be quite unconscious after his dreameater gave him a tiny beating and disappeared into the night. Equally to make the night easier, Sora has promised to stay close and on the ground- under the understanding that if he spots one of his wayward parts, he is allowed to chase it down. “He weighs more than he looks,” Ventus huffs, his other balanced on his back as he hauls him off to his room.

“I could carry him if you want,” Sora offers, slinking behind to play with dangling feet. Vanitas does not register his limbs being toyed with, but when he releases a boot, it nearly kicked Ventus in the ass before Sora catches it with a quiet ‘whoops nevermind’.

“Nah- I’m good! Exercise. Maybe I’ve been getting too relaxed since we’ve been… relaxing.”

“You did also sleep for ten years. It’s probably not good for a body.”

“Maybe!” he stretches out a leg as he walks, managing not to lose his balance. Looking back to give Sora a soft smile, “I’d like to think I’m doing pretty good for someone who sat around for ten years!”

“You are! Maybe. Did you do good in the final battle I missed out on?”

“Well, I did beat this guy,” he jostles Vanitas weight, his other sighing in his sleep, “but I guess Terra-Xehanort beat us afterwards, so.”

“One out of two is pretty good! That Terra-Xehanort also kicked my ass. In fact, he’s kinda why it all fell apart. How did you end up getting him down, anyways?”

“Uhh- well, it was kind of complicated? Terra’s heartless fought back.”

Tilting his head to the side, Sora forgets Vanitas feet for the moment to be beside Ventus instead, “Terra’s heartless?! Terra had a heartless?”

“Yeah. It was this… big thing, hanging out behind his possessed body… I think Riku said it was around a lot.”

“Oh, uhhmm… Was it the blue ish one, with big muscley arms? And no legs… And like, a bound mouth?”

“Yeah, that’s guy!”

“WHAT,” Sora barks, Ventus grimacing and looking back to Vanitas, but he thankfully doesn’t stir, “Whoops sorry-“ hoarse and restrained, “Whhaaaaaaat?! The ‘guardian’- Ansem always had it with him!”

“Yeah, I guess? That’s what Riku said too. Terra doesn’t remember at all- or at least he says he doesn’t.”

“Yeah. That thing mercilessly beat the shit out of me- and Riku. Mostly Riku! Ansem had a thing for him.”

“I’ve heard that. I’m sorry he caused you so much trouble.”

“Eh, it happens,” Sora shrugs, leveling his hands behind his head as they walk, “I regret not remembering you were inside me! If he knew you were in there, Terra might’ve broken out sooner, huh.”

“I didn’t think about it that way…”

“That’s ok! If we could have changed the past that way, we would have. But it had to happen the way it did!”

“… did it?”

“Yeah! Or else it wouldn’t have.”

Blinking, Ventus give him the utmost befuddled look, but Sora doesn’t explain, he just keeps walking. They’re at his room, anyways, so he turns in, offering Sora entrance first, “Here- it’s a bit… small now that I’m trying to put three people in it,” he mumbles.

Sora scoots inside, immediately becoming busy looking at every little detail, dusty shelves, toys and decorations around, “That’s ok- look at all the things to look at….”

Taking those moments of curiosity to keep Sora occupied, Ventus moves to stash Vanitas on his bed, glancing out his window and to the sun sinking beneath the horizon. Just the barest hint of it remains curved over the edge, bathing the grass below in amber. There are still nobodies in the gardens- but they’re shrinking into hedges, cliff faces and rocks to ‘sleep’, perhaps. “Well, maybe I just meant my bed,” he hums, looking down to dead Vanitas taking up most of it.

“Oh- you can just drop him on the ground, we’ll curl up there.”

“… I don’t like the idea of letting you two sleep on the hard ground while I stay comfortable up top.”

“We’ve been doing it for a while! Well… no, he likes finding places where the sand was softer…” Sora muses, squinting and looking up at the roof. “I’m ok with the floor though! I don’t really sleep much anyways, I’m probably just going to sit here.”

Eyebrows furrowing, “Just going to watch us sleep?”

“Well- I wasn’t going to make it sound weirder than it had to, but since you said it,” and unceremoniously, Sora plops to the floor, legs crossing as he stares up with vaguely glowing yellow eyes.

“Won’t you get bored…?”

“Maybe- but I’m pretty used to getting bored. Vanitas sleeps a lot! But he seemed lonely, so I never left.”

Ventus frowns to that, but before he can reply, the rumbling thing left on his bed speaks, “I’m not lonely.”

“Oh-uh! You’re awake- you don’t have to be- do you just, have a brain sensor for when people are talking behind your back…?”

“Could be,” he sighs, staring up at the roof, “you can have your bed, Ventus,” as he begins to roll over, and off- but he’s stopped by Ven’s grasp.

“Whoa- no, stop,” which is a more forceful refusal that Vanitas appreciates, but he simply stares up to his other, blinking slowly with a raised brow, “You just stay right there.”

“You’re not my master,” he snarks, nose wrinkling as he continues to move off, but once again is stopped by a grip around his forearm. Too weak to resist, he ‘relaxes’ back down, but gives Ventus a dry look.

“No, but can I try to be a friend?”

That has him fairly stopped in his tracks, a silence overtaking the roof. Sora laughs the quietest, dark laugh under his breath, “Ahh, the dreaded ‘f’ word.”

“I don’t know why I’m surprised you’re still like this,” Vanitas hisses, fully laying back down. For good measure, Ventus plops down on the floor beside the bed, blocking off the exit, less Vanitas plans to roll his ass over onto his other. “I also don’t know why I’m still here.”

“You said you came back because nobodies invaded the realm of darkness.”

“So what. I have an army of unversed. Other breeds of monster hold no threat to me. My threat is here- you denizens of light who have sought to kill me in the past.”

“I’m not seeking to kill you now.”

“That could easily change.”

There’s some shuffling behind him, and Ven thinks to look around and see what the fuck Vanitas is doing- but before he can interrupt, a blanket is pulled up from its making, and tossed Sora’s way. The other boy snags it out of the air, curling underneath it and staring up at the both of them with those glowing eyes of his. A whisper Ven barely hears, “Lonely.”

“If you don’t start anything, we won’t fight you.”

“How am I supposed to know what you think is ‘starting’ something.”

“I… Just like, don’t be…bad.”

Very dryly, “What is _bad_ , Ventus.”

He isn’t the person to be having this talk- but he’s going to have to try. “Like- hurting people, destroying things.”

“All I wanted was to do what I was made to do, and then be done with it.”

“Well, what you were ‘made’ to do what going to destroy the universe, so.”

“Hurting people, you say. You had to hurt me to get what _you_ wanted.”

“… Yes, but what I wanted was for the universe to... not, be destroyed.”

“And you’re so sure that’s what ‘wrong’ was.”

“… No, Vanitas. I’m _not_ ‘so’ sure.”

A low, rolling laugh, Vanitas shakes his head, still staring at the roof. “I knew you’d say something like that.”

“You’d know me so perfectly, huh,” Ventus props his chin up on his palm, legs crossing.

“I might have at one point, but not so much anymore, no.”

Tilting his head backwards, Ventus cranes his neck to peer up at his other- but finds himself a boot instead. “Ohp- uhg. I forgot about.. dirty shoes.. in my bed.”

“You’re the one that put me here and insisted I stay.”

“I was thinking about getting them off- but then I took a look and realized I have no idea how your armor works.”

“Ah.”

“Does it.. come off?”

A long silence. “Ventus, why wouldn’t it come off.”

“I don’t know! It’s a body suit.”

“It comes off,” a shifting weight as he leans into a sit, “I can’t say I remember the last time I did, though.”

“I mean- I’m not trying to tell you to…”

“You, kind of did, and are,” he levels his gaze down on him, his unfamiliar steely blues that communicate a very, very tired boy; skin sick and pale, dark below his eyes. Reaching behind him, he scratches at a line down his back, but doesn’t seem to manage to convince the material to split, “Oh, come on…”

Shifting backwards, Ventus moves to his knees, leaning over the mattress with his forearms, “Jeez, when’s the last time you changed, then.”

“…ahhh..” He squints, thinking about it. “Not since I ‘reformed’, the first time. And before then, not for a while….  My body is sort of a suggestion. Though it does do many things a normal body would,” he shrugs, reaching up to the faceplate beneath his jaw instead, scratching and clacking his fingertips into it uselessly. Ventus reaches over to ‘help’, perhaps, and Vanitas shrinks from the touch- but when he meets eyes with his other again, he forces himself to relax while hands cup his jaw. “It won’t just come off if you tug it.”

“Well, then how does it come off,” he tugs anyways, albeit gently, and Vanitas’ restrained gaze lifts to the roof.

“You have to convince it.”

“…what?”

“You have to convince it that it isn’t needed.”

“… I don’t understand-“

“Then don’t ‘understand’, just do.”

There’s a long pause while Ventus squints his eyes shut, face scrunching as he ‘focuses’ on that remaining bit of his helmet, and how much he’d rather it be off of him- and suddenly, a click, and that piece falls off with the tug of his fingers. “Huh- oh!” Ventus’ eyes open, the piece is in his hands; he brings it close to his face to look it over, and then back to Vanitas who stares at him in an unknown sort of expression. Nearly deadpan, but something about him reads sadness; Ventus barely registers it, but seems to know it so well on the face of his other. Reaching behind him again, Vanitas scratches that seam down the back of his suit, but this time, it does begin to split and free him.

In soft light that fades in from the picture window beside his bed, it’s hard to make out much of the features on his other, but Ventus spots little scars, knicks and scratches that paint his jawline where that thing must have busted into his face more than once. “No more Masters, right Ventus,” he questions so timidly, so earnestly it throws Ventus for a loop, leaving his mouth agape, that metal piece still in his hand. He doesn’t think he understands what Vanitas means by that- but taken by instinct, he suddenly rises to his feet, stepping up onto his bed with socked feet. Stepping around Vanitas, who looks up at him in confusion, Ventus opens his window, takes aim, and tosses it violently outside with a heaving sound from his throat. “Oh,” Vanitas hums, his question answered.

Standing above him, Ventus looks down to his befuddled other, and then to an extremely pleased looking Sora on the floor. “…s-…sorry, I don’t know what that was,” he shrugs, a red rising to his cheeks, “I… hope you didn’t need that.”

“I wouldn’t have let you take it if I did. Besides- the armor always returns when I need it. I don’t have to take the time to keep it around if I’m rid of it.”

“Man, I wish my armor wasn’t broken,” now that Vanitas is sitting up, there’s room for Ventus to sit with him, so he does so, plopping behind him and staring at that section of back that becomes visible as the suit splits. “Do you need help getting out of that, too?”

“Not necessarily, but it wouldn’t hurt me, either,” which is a Vanitas round about way of saying ‘yes’, Ventus is beginning to figure out. Cautiously, he snags the edge of fabric, tugging it away- and much akin to his jaw, Vanitas is coated in scars- alongside fresher wounds as well.

“Who have you been fighting…” He mumbles under his breath.

“Sora, mostly.”

“Wuh- why were you and Sora fighting?” He looks down to the other boy on the ground, but he only shrugs in reply.

“Bored. I like fighting.”

“Enough to leave big wounds like this,” a thumbs ghosts over a particularly scabby wound on his shoulder.

“How else do you fight but for keeps.”

Sora perks up, “Well, not for ‘keeps’, or you’d be dead.”

“I just kept trying to kill you and you kept not killing me back- that’s not my fault.”

“It’s your fault for failing to kill me!”

“Yeah, rub my nose in it more, please.”

“Vanitas- why were you trying to kill Sora? You two kind of seem like your… well, that you don’t hate each other.” Avoiding calling them ‘friends’, Ventus questions, not scolding him, but just asking honestly. Something to do to pass the silence while they slowly peel the suit off his body- it sticks in some places where scabs fused in, but Vanitas never flinches. Off each arm now, his forearms are littered with the remnants of failed blocks- a kind of scar Ventus is familiar with, but to an uncomfortable level. Over-use. It reminds him more of Terra’s arms, but still worse.

“I don’t know how to fight otherwise but to kill.”

“That’s not going to work in the future.”

“I’m not going to try to fight you, Ventus.”

“You sure about that.”

“Fairly certain. If you don’t, start anything,” exhaling a laugh, Vanitas cranes his neck to look back at him, but raises a brow when he catches Ven’s solemn expression. “What’s that look for.”

“You’re just, really beat up is all.”

“Whatever, I’ll heal out of it.”

“No- I meant like, all the…scars, and stuff.”

Another silence fall on them as Vanitas returns to looking forwards, a moment to parse his words. “I don’t know how to tell you that I didn’t start off perfect, or even strong.”

“That sounds like it really hurt to admit,” Ventus laughs, pained.

“It did, it absolutely hurt to admit. Unlike you, however, I did not receive the ‘time’ to grow. I just had to… _become_ what was required.”

“And it didn’t matter what happened to your body in the meantime, huh.”

“Why would it? Soon, I would not longer require it. I almost hoped once my heart regrew, I would be reborn anew- but bodies don’t forget their scars.”

“Neither do hearts, really.”

“You seem to be doing very fine for a man whose heart was torn into two pieces.”

“The pieces were very ‘neat’, so to say,” looking to Sora, who smiles back at him in return from under his blanket, “I also had good help.”

“So you did.” A long pause, Vanitas is fairly undressed at this point, though as he sits, he isn’t squirming out of his pants. “Is this nice?”

“Huh? Is what nice.”

“This conversation.”

“… Uhh… It’s not bad, if that’s what you mean.”

“That should mean it’s ‘nice’ then.”

“Yeah- I think all things considered, this is nice.”

“Sora said I should talk to you, you know.”

“Oh? When was that.”

“A long while ago, now.”

“Took your time?”

“Didn’t really have the opportunity.”

“I’ve been here- you could’ve come over any time. It’s not like I could’ve hunted you down in the dark world.”

“I would’ve killed you if you had.”

“You could have tried,” Ventus gives him a light shove.

Looking back over his shoulder, “You must’ve been doing some good training while I was gone, then.”

“Hey! You said you couldn’t beat Sora earlier.”

“ _This_ Sora,” he gestures a hand to him on the floor, “is so much more than what you’ve seen before. He would’ve walked into Xehanort’s house, pissed on his shoes and proceeded to break his old man kneecaps.”

Ventus has no idea how to respond to that. “…w…what.”

“I don’t know how else to explain. Whatever this Sora was doing with his infinite time elsewhere, an impressive amount of it was training, and he routinely shit kicks me without breaking a sweat. I kept having to put him inside unversed to get him to stop.”

Slowly, he looks down to Sora, who only replies with a shit eating grin. Ventus speaks, “I guess like, what Xemnas said… Some place of infinite light, right.”

“He still thinks he’s there, by the way.”

“Huh?”

“He thinks he’s hallucinating. That why he crawls up buildings, looking at everything, and doesn’t seem to give a solid fuck. Just wants to get somewhere high and see all the fun things the ‘world’ is showing him.”

He shrugs from the floor, “I appreciate the effort you’re putting in anyways! This is a fun game, I’m enjoying myself!”

“From what I can tell, the world he was in used to show him memories to try to keep him satiated, but he figured out he was being lied too, so. Now nothing is real.”

“…How long were you in Sora together in the realm of darkness?!”

“Uhh…” Vanitas slowly looks to Sora on the floor. Neither of them has any concept of time. “A…. while. Time doesn’t really exist down there. No days to count when there’s no sun.”

“That’s a lot of time getting to know… one person.”

“Sora is an extremely easy person to understand. With all that strength- there’s next to nothing in his head.”

“Rude!”

“True, though,” he points a waggling finger at him. Somewhat suddenly, Vanitas scoots to the edge of the bed, moving to stand.

Ventus watches as he moves but does not stop him. “Uh- where you going?”

“It’s uncomfortable sitting in half of this thing,” he grabs an errant sleeve of his suit, whapping it around ineffectually, “So I’m going to get out now. If that works for you,” he rumbles at the end, sneering.

“Oh- yeah! That’s fine. That gets the shoes off too, which was the problem in the first place… Uh… Do you need… underwear.”

“If you don’t want to see my nudity.”

Frowning, he scoots off his bed as well, heading to a drawer. “I guess underwear isn’t really necessary for a body suit.”

“No, that would just be extra chaffing,” he exhales a laugh, shifting out of his pants, “No peaking,” he reaches with one leg to gently press the sole of his foot to Sora’s offending face, and with a peep, he hides beneath his cover.

Ventus takes that as a ‘no peeking’ for himself as well, and blindly tosses underwear Vanitas’ way, which he just barely catches. At least the other two missed that near spectacular fail. “I was going to say ‘I hope that fits’ but I don’t see how it couldn’t.”

“It’s not like we’re even sort of identical,” but they do fit, “Alright, I’m not naked.”

It’s fairly night now, thought the lights outside filter in, it’s not easy to make out Vanitas’ form, even as he is the aforementioned nakey. Slowly, he makes his way back to the bed, sitting roughly down onto the mattress. “Are you tired?” Ventus hums.

“That’s a loaded question.”

“How so?”

“I’m always tired,” and he flops backwards, legs dangling off the edge. Enough room, Ventus could join him.

“Why’s that?”

“Good question, one I ask myself often. I have some ideas. One- Unversed on run on negativity, and that is hard to come by. Sora offers it sometimes, which makes it nice to keep him around. Two- I might be dead?”

With the offered space, Ventus joins him, sitting much softer, and enough away he isn’t touching Vanitas now bare skin, “I guess… I did see you fade away. I was really surprised to hear from you.”

“I couldn’t tell you what happened. I faded, felt like death- and then awoke again, in the dark world. Tired, hurt, but ‘alive’. My Unversed around me.”

“Sounds like something brought you back.”

“I don’t know what though. I don’t remember. After that, things felt… different.”

“You do seem kinda different.”

“Only because I’m not always trying to tear out your throat.”

“You said you would if I’d come to you first.”

“Mighta. Mighta not. Hard to say. Didn’t happen.”

“Well, I don’t know if you noticed, but your eyes aren’t… Dark, anymore.”

Canting a confused head, he looks up to his other with real confusion, “My eyes?”

“Yeah. Your eyes- they aren’t yellow. That was sort of a thing people have when they fell to darkness- or when they were being influenced by Xehanort.”

“Oh. I… can’t say I look in a lot of mirrors.” He looks genuinely mystified by this, looking upwards. No, Vanitas… we can’t see our own eyes.

“Yeah. They’re kinda a… blue, like a really muted blue. Kinda like Sora’s? But his were pretty bright, weren’t they.” Looking down to Sora, Ventus is met with bright, glowing yellow hues. No knowing for sure now what they used to be now.

“Huh. I wonder when that happened. Maybe when the change happened.” Pulling his arms above his head, Vanitas stares at the roof with a deadpan expression that does not match the confusion that comes out of his mouth.

“When you were reborn in the realm of darkness?”

“Yeah, maybe. I wish I could ask.”

Ventus tilts his head, “Who would you ask?”

“I only had one person I could ask anything.”

“….Xehanort?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, we can ask Aqua tomorrow. She’s the Master of this place now.” Vanitas flinches- which catches Ventus off guard. Vanitas hasn’t really reacted for much of anything so far. “Buh- but we don’t have to! That’s fine.”

“No- it’s… we have different meanings for that word. To you- it’s a symbol of strength, leadership and security. My Master was not as kind as yours. Then again- I hear Eraqus did try to kill you.”

“…haa… Yeah, he did. He thought it was worth stopping the x-blade.”

“It would have. He should’ve done it.”

“I mean- if Terra hadn’t stopped him, he would have,” mumbling, Ventus tries not to think of what suffering they might have saved if Eraqus really had killed him before- but Vanitas interrupts the thought,

“Ehh… Honestly, Xehanort would’ve just found another way. He always did. Seven lights, maybe another science experiment to tear in two,” Vanitas rumbles, gesturing a dismissive hand to a conversation that leaves him bitter in his throat. “He was a fool.”

“You really didn’t like him, huh.”

“You though I liked him?”

“You always listened to him? You sounded like you wanted to form the x-blade for him.”

“I didn’t want to form the x-blade for him- I wanted to form it for _us_. It’s what we were made to do.”

“I was a person before Xehanort tore us apart, you know.”

“But, then, you were ‘made’ to do something else.”

“Oh, I see what you mean. Must be boring now, huh.”

“And yet I’m still trying to live. I don’t know why.”

“Do you need a reason to live?”

“It seems pointless not to. Hypocritically, however, I’ve been living without purpose for quite some time now.”

“Well, then maybe there’s a purpose you just don’t know about yet.”

“Here’s hoping I’m not just wasting my time.”

“… You think, maybe…. your purpose to live could be to… live?”

Vanitas grumbles, “that’s not how that works.”

“I mean, you can find things to fight, or things to do, but maybe it doesn’t have to all be so… big?”

An eyebrow raises as Vanitas’ gaze moves from the roof and to his other, “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Most people don’t have to have these big, important dreams. You could live to just… Go to the beach. Find something delicious to eat. Uhh… Pet a cat.” Ventus is feeling more and more sheepish as he speaks this mental list, a hand raising to rub his cheek. Is it really that stupid just to want to be… normal?

Vanitas has never looked more confused before. “… Why would I want to do those things.”

“Because it’s just living!”

“You want to do these things.”

“….yeah, I mean. Sometimes. I don’t entirely begrudge being a keyblade wielder, but it is… It’s this,” he gestures to Vanitas, and then to Sora still staring up at them in wonder on the floor. “Sora all messed up down there. You… honestly, you all messed up, up here.”

Stifling a laugh to that, Vanitas slowly shakes his head. “You’re so full of pity.”

“Hey- don’t blame me. Blame Xehanort. He made me a softie.”

“Yeah, I think I will.”


	15. Chapter 15

Aqua rises first when morning breaks- she never really fell back asleep once Terra was ‘Xehanort’, or Nexahs, despite the man becoming quite asleep himself after their little talk. It’s a comfort that she’s fairly certain she heard once Terra’s heart found itself in place once more; a different kind of snoring, the way he shifts in his sleep rather than laying there flatly. Equally, though, when he rolls, she spots a few of his bangs are turning grey. Concerning, but she tries not to freak out. She doesn’t wake him with her, opting instead to let him sleep, and at the crack of dawn, gets up alone to check out their castle and the situation unfolding around and inside it.

Looking out a window to the barely lit outside, there are still nobodies all around, but it seems like most of them are still ‘asleep’. New from her count of the different varieties of last night, though, large ones with scythes and segmented, flowering skirts float around, observing or maybe guarding their sleeping kin. Concerned but not alarmed by that, she makes her way to Ventus’ room to make sure Vanitas hadn’t murdered him and Sora both in the night.

As she cracks open his door with the utmost quiet care, Aqua is greeted with the sight of the two bisected teens sprawled and unconscious on Ventus’ bed, apparently forgoing most clothes despite not having a blanket. She’s not sure why it’s so surprising to see Vanitas without his bodysuit, but there he is, a pang of sorrow in her heart for the state of him. She remembers fresh enough when he was simply an ‘evil boy in a mask’, with no forethought to the person he might be without Xehanort…. Where, where is Ventus’ blanket; her vision wanders to the floor, and _there_ it is, covering Sora, who peers up at her with wide yellow eyes. Seemed like he was awake before she arrived, so she doesn’t feel too bad, until she frowns to the thought he probably hasn’t slept at all. Pressing a finger to her lips to ‘shh’, because there’s no need to wake the very much unconscious other two, she beckons Sora to come over to the door, if he wants. Eager to have something else to do, he rises slowly, slipping out of the blanket and creeping towards the door. He thinks a moment he might toss the covers over Ventus and Vanitas, but it might wake them, and they already look super comfortable without it, so he just tip toes to the door and Aqua instead.

Once they’re outside and the door is shut behind him, she speaks softly, “Didn’t sleep much, huh?”

Equally quiet, Sora throws his hands behind his head, “Nah, I don’t really sleep. I mean, sometimes I do, but it’s been too exciting. Why are you up so early, huh Aqua?”

“Ah.. Had some issues with Xemnas’ heart last night, ended up keeping me up.”

“Oh no! Are you ok?.... Is he ok?.. Y’know, both of them? Terra and Xemnas?”

“Terra and the extra heart are doing ok enough,” because she’s still not sure whether to call him Xehanort or Nexahs, “just sort of a hiccup, and Edym hasn’t told me if Xemnas has been up to anything, so I’m crossing my fingers! Think I’ll go check on them next, if you wanna come with.” She heads them off towards the courtyard, because she wants to double check the nobody situation now that the sun is rising, but also to give Sora a good walk.

“That’s good! I wanna see what Xemnas will do, y’know? He was kind of a pain in the ass before, but he seems so nice now. I guess it’s ‘cause I wished I was nice before,” he sighs, eyes lidding, “No sense making me more enemies.”

Tilting her head, “What do you mean?”

“Eh, it’s been long enough, hasn’t it? We’ve had our fun pretending. And this is fun, still. But it gets really hard to fake it for your sake. It doesn’t matter either way.” Sora loses his posture, arms falling to his side, and feet sluggish as they walk.

“I-….” Aqua doesn’t understand at first, but realizes the familiarity in his tone and words, resting a hand on his shoulder and rubbing with a thumb. Under her breath, “Fake, yeah.” She pauses their walk to parse her words, “It’s really hard, I know. If it makes you feel better, you don’t have to pretend. It won’t hurt my feelings if you think it’s not real.”

“No? Not anymore? You used to get sad,” peering at her hand, then up to her face, he raises an eyebrow in confusion.

“I mean… I can’t say I’m not sad, Sora. It _is_ sad you think this is fake- but I would be a hypocrite if I got mad at you for it, or blamed you for it. And you’re right, it doesn’t really matter either way, not right now at least.” Smiling softly at him, she resumes their walking. “I think you were gone even longer than I was.”

“… I am. It’s been longer, I’m sure,” his eyes lid, expression blank and they walk a few feet. “…. Aqua.” He pauses, eyes opening again to give her a tired, pitiful look.

Smiling back at him softly, “Yeah, Sora?”

“I know I shouldn’t like, ask, but…. Can we…. Can we go see Destiny Island again? It’s been a really long time, I just wanna… I wanna see Riku’s face, Kairi…. My friends there…. It’s worth it just to, remind myself what they look like. If you can help remind me.” His voice cracks at ‘Riku’, fists clenching at his side, and he can hardly hold his broken, forgotten emotions together.

Even if he did cry, though, Aqua wouldn’t hold it against him. Taking a step forwards, she wraps her arms around his back, “Yeah, Sora. We can go to Destiny Island. Ansem is bringing a gummi ship over, and I’ll tell him we’re going to stop there first. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

Leaning into her chest, it takes Sora a moment to reciprocate the hug, but he does, loosely wrapping arms around her back. “I would really like that, I think.”

 

Xemnas wakes to an ominous buzzing in his head, a cacophony of far off voices- except they’re significantly less far off than they should be. Right next to his head, even, and he shoots up to sitting, jarring Edym out of sleep with a yelp.

“Whoa- wha, where’s the fire,” he warbles, bleary-eyed and hardly conscious to Xemnas rising out of bed.

“Something is wrong,” he rumbles, shaking out his head to gather his thoughts on unsturdy legs, flailing about to grab his discarded pants and jacket.

“Uhwuah,” Edym is up now too, stumbling to find his own clothes to throw on, “what do you mean something is wrong..?”

Heading out the door, “There are nobodies here- too many of them, and they’re fighting,” Xemnas _thinks_ this is what is happening, at least. He knew nobodies had flocked to him- but he hadn’t asked _why._ It didn’t seem important at the time, but now…. They head outside in a tired but urgent hurry.

Hearing the two of them fluster out the door, Lauriam rises from his coffee at their communal table and follows outside. Sipping from behind the two of them, Lauriam stares out at the morning lit scenery, “Yeah, I was starting to think I was going to come wake you up and ask you about…this.”

The lawn is covered in nobodies- and while most are minding their own business, three Reapers and an Assassin are currently trying to kill each other. A single gambler at the side idly shuffles its cards as it watches, pausing occasionally to herd them away from the building and crowds of other nobodies. Neat, Xemnas thinks, since he hadn’t seen any of his generation two’s as of now- less neat, they’re as aggressive as he expected them to be. Tearing a hole into the grass beneath it, one rips its scythe into the ground, thrashing its wobbly body into another of its own kind, the two of them bouncing away before meeting in the middle again.

“Hey- HEY-,” Xemnas absolute _roars,_ immediately enrapturing the attention of all nobodies in the area- including Lauriam and Edym, who nervously stand at instinctive attention. Approaching, and beckoning a reaper with his hand, which sheepishly comes to his call. “What are you all _doing_ here.”

A gurgling hiss as it remembers its language, -World fallen. We all, we run.-

Oh. “Oh.”

Approaching, Edym looks around to Xemnas with the utmost concern, “Wuh- world fallen?.... AH- the World that Never Was broke! Shit!” He exclaims with balled fists, posture failing him. Lauriam gives that response a confused look, because he was unaware the World that Never Was was in any kind of peril, but hums an understanding tone when he sees Xemnas and Edym don’t seem surprised to hear this.

-Come here for Master, old and new,- it gestures to Xemnas, and then Lauriam behind. -Desperate.-

“Then why are you fighting.”

-No space…. Need room,- it grumbles, looking around with stuttering movements. They’re territorial and aggressive, and now with dwindling resources…

“There is enough room here-“

It cuts him of, hissing, -No there is not.- Not meaning to be rude, but it needs to make its point clear to its master.

Looking around himself, it is definitely over saturated here. A moment of thought before Xemnas replies, “If you can not get along and relax here or anywhere else, go to the vacant Keyblade Graveyard to fight and stretch.”

It nods, forgetting that that battlefield existed, and then itself and several others around, in fact, many of them, disappear into thorns and void. Less busy here now- but it’s an extremely temporary solution. There is nothing to ‘live’ there, not to mention he’s not interested in fucking with that graveyard anymore than he’s already fucked it.

Rubbing his face, Xemnas groans, “I should have asked them last night why they were here.”

Quietly, Edym shrinks, “If the world collapsed, where are they going to go…”

“I-,” he stops himself, nose wrinkling in distaste, “I don’t know.”

From around the corner, Aqua and Sora appear, looking at the nobodies around, “Glad you’re awake, Xemnas, I was going to a- oh,” she see his restrained expression, Edym’s unrestrained sadness, and then to Lauriam behind who reaches up to pet a remaining reaper before it disappears as well.

“Things are less than ideal,” Xemnas rumbles, tone dark and foreboding and he stares off opposite to the sunrise.

“I’m…. seeing that. Care to explain.”

“In my growing weakness, their world collapsed where I was apparently no longer keeping it afloat. Now I do not know where I’m going to put them.” Weakly, “I did not solve the problem soon enough, despite my promises.”

“Their… world?... Oh, wait, I remember… It collapsed though? Without you?”

“I think so. Their last bastion of strength was, well.. Demyx,” he gestures loosely to Edym at the side, who shrinks, “I wasn’t considering what the world would do without a higher nobody. I might’ve been holding it up before, but when I fell to darkness…” He siiiiiighs, hands finding themselves nervously rubbing his face.

Two samurai appear at his heel, familiar, -We blame you not, Master.-

Surprised by this, but then he looks down and around, with Sora nearby, the samurai make sense. Not to mention, he’s sort of… friends, with these two, at this point? “But it is my fault.”

-It was inevitable.- The speaking one stands before Xemnas, while the other sloooowly waddles up to Sora, curiously.

He reads like Roxas, but he obvious isn’t. In turn, Sora leans down with a smile, offering a handshake that it reciprocates after a moment. When they’re done hand shaking, it opens its hood to garble at him, and exceptionally curious to it suddenly having a face, Sora takes the opportunity to squish it. -please stop-

“Well, it’s happened now,” Aqua interrupts Xemnas depressive mood, “So what can we do to fix it?”

Back to where they were a minute before Aqua entered, “I don’t know.”

“Well, we’ve got some space here,” he looks around to the others, she doesn’t mind them being there. “And I know Radiant Garden has space.”

“Yes. Me and Master Ansem had spoken of keeping some there. But there are so many… As long as there are Heartless breeding, Nobodies will appear.”

“But, as we free more hearts, some reform, right?”

“… That is correct, yes.”

“We can keep this controlled. It’s not as bad as you’re making it seem- and it’s no where near the worst thing we’ve had to face.”

“I suppose not. That was me, some half a year ago.”

“Ahaha…yeah.”

“Alright,” he stifles back his guilt, hands returning to his sides, “I’ll have to just keep thinking over it as we return to Radiant Garden,” looking to Aqua, and then Sora, who looks suddenly startles, yellow eyes falling desperately to Aqua to keep her promise.

Aqua notices Sora’s change in posture- “Oh, uh… Hmn. I know this is a serious problem we’d like to fix soon, the nobodies, but Sora says he’d really like to stop by Destiny Island to see his friends. You think you can… do that first?”

Humming, Xemnas thinks about it with half-lidded eyes, “…ahh.. That is doable. At the moment, without an answer in my mind, I am just as likely to think of the answer there or at Radiant Garden.” Sora alights like a lamp, eyes wide and bright. “I did promise more than one person I would bring you home as soon as I could, even if you’re not entirely all there.”

“Hey! A significant proportion of me is here! You said I’m more than nothing!” Sora pouts, face scrunching in humoured revolt.

“You’re absolutely correct, Sora. They will be very glad to see even some of you.”

 

By the time everyone else rises from their sleep, the sun is well up and Xemnas opts to collect everyone inside rather than outside, to avoid the sunlight. With Aqua’s advice, he finds their entourage in a mission room, centered with a large, white table, elegantly embossed with lacing and symbols in gold- but so incredibly dusty, the shelves and books lining the walls dirty from disuse. Aqua laments not having cleaned it earlier, but when has anyone had the time…Quietly, Xemnas says she might make Edym do it one day for her. He needs to be put to work.

‘Xemnas’ heart still isn’t completely set on returning until he is absolutely sure Xemnas is ‘safe’. Fortunately, Terra is fairly comfortable with the wayward heart after their little ‘chat’, despite not directly remembering it occurred; so he sits near to Xemnas. “Can I come with? Destiny Island is a nice place to visit. Say hi to Riku myself.”

 Xemnas nods- he’d like to keep his heart close, and he’s getting.. pretty good at not being jealous. Mostly. “Vanitas, I also assume you want to go,” Xemnas asks him, the aforementioned sleepiest boy alive is reclined forwards with his head resting lazily on folded arms. Out of his familiar body suit, but the clothes he fits in are extras of Ventus; a black undershirt and faded tan pants. Watching him continue to be exhausted and somewhat sickly despite a night’s sleep, honestly, Xemnas also aims to drag Vanitas back to Radiant Garden. You will suffer with me, boy, and our lackluster ability at reforming ourselves after our trauma- but at least, equally, Vanitas seems eager to exist, albeit struggling.

“What makes you think that,” he rasps back, glancing to Sora.

“Just a hunch. I won’t make you say why. Just a yes or no.”

“I don’t need to stay here,” he yawns, eyes lidding.

“Ventus?” Xemnas looks to the other half sitting beside, who perks up from his staring at Vanitas,

“Ouh-, oh, uhh….” Slowly, he looks to Aqua, who just shrugs. “I think it might be nice to tag along for a bit. Keep you and Sora out of trouble,” he gives Vanitas a pat, who rumbles in return. Ventus is pretty much used to his grumbling at this point.

Aqua speaks up, “I can stay here and hold down the fort with Lauriam and Elrena.”

“I would like you to stay as well, Edym.”

A few seats away from him, Edym replies curiously, “Uh, oh? Why’s that? Not that I wanted to go, honestly. It sounds hot, and sandy. And I just don’t want to,” he shrugs, always avoiding ‘working’. Not to mention, he’s been enjoying watching Aqua try to teach Lauriam and Elrena to use their keyblade again, even though he generally just watches from afar. They’re certain Edym has one too, but he’s less convinced, mind fuzzy of his past. As Demyx, he ‘remembered’ being alive enough to copy his emotions and mannerisms, but when it came to focusing on details, like the other members past the initial 7, their previous life was a blur.

“The remaining nobodies will hardly listen to Lauriam and Elrena. Your first-generation dancers will still be loyal, and cognizant.”

“Ahaa, ooohhh,” he deflates at being, technically, put to work. Perking back up though, “Alright! I can do that, easy peasy,” he waves a dismissive hand, acting like he isn’t inconvenienced. Alternatively, Xemnas is looking for things for Edym to do, to get him out of his room and interacting more.

“Ungrateful bastards,” Elrena snarks, tongue sticking out a second, “After all we did for them!”, snarking her wayward nobodies from afar.

Rubbing the underside of his jaw with a sigh, Xemnas sighs, “They want to fight too much. I made them… too fight-y.”

“It _was_ really fun to watch them tear into things,” she sighs, “Not so useful now.”

“Perhaps if I find a world plagued with Heartless, it will become more useful.”

Aqua laughs quietly, but then nods. “Well, that would be a bit of a solution, wouldn’t it. I could ask the King if he knows any worlds?”

“… Yes, please do that,” Xemnas agrees, it’s a legitimate idea. As much as a nobody can’t free a heart, they can cut down numbers in a pinch.

“So,” Terra speaks, looking to Aqua, “We’re waiting on Ansem’s gummiship?”

Xemnas hums curiously, “I wonder who he’s bringing to drive it.”

“Ahhh,” pulling out her phone to message the King, but also to flick through Ansem’s messages, “I honestly think he’s coming himself.”

“To scold me immediately, probably.”

“You deserve it,” she gives him a _look._

A slow, deadpan blink. “Absolutely. Now- with Edym here with his dancers, and Dilan there with his dragoons, our two worlds should be safe, but who knows where else the nobodies have turned up. Some lived on Destiny Island, so we’re also technically checking up there now too.”

Frowning, Sora speaks up, “So, wait, who’s protecting the island?”

“Riku, of course. He was making friendly with the samurai there.”

“Ahh.. oh, samurai. They were mean,” Sora’s nose wrinkles, incredulous to Xemnas statement of being ‘friendly’- but then again, he remembers the one they were with this morning. Despite complaining, he did let Sora play around with his face without perforation.

“They were built to be and were, are loyal to Roxas. So, they are loyal to you, and thus, loyal to your home.”

“.. Wait really? They always wanted to stab me!”

“Well, remember that they, first and foremost, must listen to me. Now that I am also friendlier, they fall to that baser instinct.”

Squinting, Sora still doesn’t look like he understands, but then shrugs, accepting his lack of comprehension and leaning back into his chair. “Well, _I’ll_ be there soon too, so any nobodies that wanna fight, they can fight me! Between me and Riku and Kairi, there’s no problem.”

Muffled, Vanitas laughs, “Between just _you_ , you mean.”

“Hey! Don’t discredit my friends! They’re tough too,” but Sora breaks into laughter, his tone growing oddly dark before relaxing back down- and Vanitas laughs too, muffled into his arms and leaving the rest of the room in a moment of cold silence. “… Aah! Lighten up! Darkness and all that, right?” Tone faltering again, Sora just reclines back until his chairs standing on its back two legs, hands behind his head and eyes lidding. Keeping his balancing like that with seemingly little effort.

Xemnas…. Still isn’t sure what he’s going to do with that darkness- but so far, the plan is throwing him at Riku and Kairi. It seems like a feasible answer. Alternatively, however- this is… technically, not Sora. It’s just a body- pieces of body and mind, perhaps with its own regrown heart, steeped in darkness. Is this cruel? Without his heart to properly guide him, Xemnas is unsure. Implying this is Sora is like implying a Repliku is Riku; sure, there are common aspects, and it is this Sora that has requested to see his friends. But is it fair to Riku to give him this… fake? Will he appreciate the pieces Xemnas has collected? Or will he just find this filled in copy a farse, a fallacy here to mock his desire to see the true, original heart of his friend? Xemnas does not know.

As if his wayward heart is sharing thoughts with him, Terra’s nose wrinkles in distaste, eyes squinting shut with a contained sigh through his nose, “Sora… Are you sure you want to see your friends?”

Eyes opening, he blinks to the other man, “Ahh… Yeah? Why not?”

“Just…” He looks to Xemnas, who equally albeit unconsciously gives him a pitied look, shaking his head, ‘no’. “.. Nevermind.” Despite it not ‘exactly’ being Sora, he doesn’t deserve to suffer anymore. Riku is a tough kid, he’ll be able to take it. What’s one more Sora, honestly…..

 

As one of the only bitches in the world to have a hyper drive, Ansem arrives around noon, despite it normally being a two days gummiship drive away. Dreading his arrival- but not as much as he had before, Xemnas remains inside until absolutely necessary, and it ends up being Edym spurring him out the door with Vanitas in tow before he goes. “Behave!” Edym waggles a scolding finger in his face, and Xemnas nods, almost enthusiastically, before going to meet up with Ansem just outside his ship. This is the only, only time he will enjoy his heart being elsewhere, because it means it can’t jump out of his chest from anxiety when he steps up to his old teacher.

Ansem steps down from his ship’s hull, a curious tilt to his head, because there’s a teenager unconscious on Xemnas’ hip. “And who is this?”

“Ahh.. Vanitas,” he hefts up his limp weight in the one arm that holds him, “A broken piece of one boy, converted into two in an attempt to form the x-blade. And then, a dark shard of Xehanort.”

Blinking with eyebrows raised, “well, that was a long story made very, very short. And he is… friendly, now?” He’s read up on Vanitas, from notes Aqua has written down of her experiences. He was not a friendly boy.

“.. I won’t say that,” Xemnas muses, looking down at his unconscious care, “But no worse than me.”

“Xemnas still?”

“Yes. My apologies. Terra should be out shortly, he’s wrangling Sora with Ventus.”

“And how is ..,’Sora’?” Aqua has also informed him that Sora is ‘broken’, without going into much detail.

“…ah… This is also complicated. It’s… sort of… not Sora.”

“… Alright. Explain?”

“Ah…” How did that cat-dream eater explain…. “Long to short once more- it’s Sora’s Nobody.”

Sighing mournfully, “Ahhh.. Well, that wasn’t exactly what I was hoping to hear. And we’re taking this nobody to see his friends?”

“He’s been separated from his original heart long enough, I have reason to believe he’s made his own heart. Overcome with darkness, however, he feels misery and pain. I am hoping seeing his friends will bring some light back into his existence.”

“Well, we can hope. However- new heart? So, the original…”

“Still out there, somewhere. Maybe contacting it will be easier with these forgotten pieces of its body and mind.”

Terra appears from the castle doors with Sora over his shoulder, and Ventus behind, “Sorry about that!” He shouts down, meeting up with them and patting Sora’s back end, “someone’s getting cold feet.”

Very quietly from behind, “it’s not like that…”

Ventus shakes his head, “It’s like that.”

Well, that makes Xemnas second guess his decision. “… So, perhaps we shouldn’t go-“

“Nexahs really thinks we should,” Terra interrupts, “like, it’s reasonable to be nervous. But we should pull of this band-aid, so to speak?”

Ansem nods, “A fair observation. Also- hello, Terra, Ventus. Doing well?”

Terra’s face contorts to a moment of pure discomfort, because the past day has been a clusterfuck, “Ohh, well, it’s going,” and he looks down to Ventus.

Ventus is as cheery as ever, despite looking a bit winded. He was the man that had to run down Sora earlier- and Vanitas wasn’t kidding, this Sora is _fast_ and _wiley_. “I’m all good, set to go! I feel like maybe, the sooner the better,” glancing up to Sora on Terra’s shoulder- he’s only there because he’s letting it happen. Please don’t waste the moment where this is being let happen.

“Alright, everyone on then,” it’s a good thing Ansem’s ship was fairly large, because he wasn’t exactly expecting to fit 6 people on it. Unconscious Vanitas gets a chair to be buckled into, as does Sora and Ventus, but Terra and Xemnas hang out sitting in the hull, preparing to, at least once, bang their head on the roof. To Ansem’s credit, he’s a very good driver, and the nobody ships flock to their Master, giving them a near seamless ride to the islands.

Laughing under his breath, Terra looks to Xemnas as the other man appears to disassociate quietly, an hour or so into their drive. “I probably could’ve just flown alongside to save space.”

Blinking, it takes him a moment to register the sentence, “… flown?”

“Yeah, in my armor. It’s how I get around at all.”

“… You can fly through the spaces between with your armor?” That seems like a familiar concept- but with corridors, Xemnas never tried.

“Yeah, you don’t remember?”

Closing his eyes, Xemnas tries to recall. Ahh, maybe just an inkling. Hardly a thought. “Not really. That sounds very interesting, though.”

“It’s kind of like gummi flight, I guess… Except you can look up and just, see it all. I can slip into smaller holes between, too. Hidden ones, sometimes, with the keyblade.”

“Ah, well that would be why I can not remember. I’ve never had a keyblade.”

“I mean… you sort of did.”

Sighing, “It’s somewhat complicated. I, me, Xemnas,” he pressed a hand to his chest, “No _, I’ve_ never had the keyblade.”

“.. Huh… yeah, I think I understand what you mean now. Like that Roxas guys, right. The one that looks like Ventus? Well, I mean, he had a keyblade, but he wasn’t Sora, or Ventus.”

“Yes. He accidentally took Ventus’ form when Sora fell apart, but he is definitely not Ventus or Sora now.”

“Oh yeah, no. Once,” Terra laughs, head shaking; he’s going to regret telling this story, but. “Once, way back at the ‘beginning’, the two of them thought they’d play a little game. Switched places on us- wanted to see who would notice first. Me and Aqua failed spectacularly, but then Roxas’ best friend, Axel? He never figured it out either. They played the long game- they ended up taking Ventus aaaaall the way back to Twilight Town. Took uh, the girl? Xion? Three days.” Xemnas remains deadpan for the duration of the story, but his expression breaks at the end, a hand raising to his mouth to stifle a long, muffled ‘snnnnnnnrk’, before it peels into deep, quiet laughter. “Right? I knew _something_ what up- he was being so feisty- but we hadn’t seen him in years. We thought maybe he was just getting some darkness back into his heart, now that Vanitas was ‘gone’, or I guess so we thought.” Sighing, Terra rests his face in his palms, “sometimes Ventus will still bring it up to taunt us.”

“Ohhh, and I do not blame him. I know very little of Ventus- but Roxas is a bitey, rambunctious thing, I do know that well.”

“Now that we’ve had almost a year with him again, I would know in a heartbeat. But it had been so long.”

“Very understandable. As a note, it’s not as if many of us haven’t also had very wild shifts in personality once finding the light once more, or.. suppose in mine and Vanitas case, at all.”

Terra nods, “True, true. Ventus hasn’t really changed, honestly. Maybe Roxas is nicer than when you knew him?”

“Hmn… no.” He’s seen Roxas recently. He’s still bitey. “Or, at least, not to me. Which is fair.”

“I know _you’re_ acting differently now.” A pause and then very quietly, “Aqua sure is different sometimes. And I don’t know if _I’m_ different,” he rests his chin on folded arms, propped up on his knees.

Xemnas gives him a long, thoughtful look. “… You probably are. What occurred to you was incredibly traumatizing.” Terra doesn’t look like he appreciates that statement. “But it doesn’t have to be for the worse.”

“Yeah, guess you’re right.”

Xemnas has a weird feeling in his chest, and he speaks without thinking, “…Aqua, though?”

“Uh? Yeah no, nevermind… she’s just- well, realm of darkness alone for 10 years. At least I don’t like, distinctly remember being your- er, not your, ‘Ansem’s ‘guardian’ when I was. And the memories I inherited from my armor, it just slept most of the time, like Ventus did.”

Why does he feel awful about Aqua? Lips pursing, “I feel like I might have more of your memory etched in me than expected.”

“Oh? Is that why you feel bad about Aqua?”

“I think so. Yesterday, I listened to her without question, let her push me around the castle, though I have no conscious memory of her.”

“That’s a benefit. And you should listen to Aqua! I should’ve listened to Aqua,” Terra sighs, “though, she thinks she has to be the leader, the keyblade master, all by herself, now.”

A curious tilt of his head, and Xemnas stares down Terra from the familiarity of his situation. “Have you told her she doesn’t?”

“Ahh, I mean…. Maybe?”

Again and how his life continues to be, Xemnas isn’t expecting the heart to heart talk, but he gives the best advice he can. “Explicitly tell her this. Tell her, with no wavering, that she is not required to do this alone.” His tone is so flat for the somewhat serious conversation.

Eyebrow furrow, but Terra looks apologetic. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I was the ‘Aqua’ in the situation. It seems she’s smarter than me still, though, because she hasn’t managed to give everyone in her life an extremely hard time.”

“No, just herself, really. I’ll, I’ll do that, yeah,” he nods, legs relaxing. “No one has to be alone anymore. Not her, not you, not Sora.”

“That’s the plan.”

Nodding his head, before lolling it backwards and staring up at the roof, “Yeah.”

 

Shouting down from above, Xemnas perks from half-consciousness to Ansem’s voice, “We’re almost there.”

Calling back up to him, “I’ve neglected to ask if you’ve warned Riku we’re coming.”

“I told him we were coming. I did not tell him Sora was with us.”

“Well,” sticking his head up through the hull door and into the cockpit, “I’m hoping, Riku will feel it before we get here.”

Sora is apparently over his initial anxiety, because his face is pressed up against the window, staring down at the hub to Destiny Island in barely restrained excitement. Xemnas’ gaze falls to Vanitas, who is conscious but lazily glancing up to the island, and Ventus, who is amused to both the other’s responses. “Is it even daytime down there?” Sora asks, looking back to Ansem.

“It’s just becoming the evening, you’ll have some hours of daylight to enjoy.”

He bounces eagerly in his place, continuing his stare outside as Ansem passes through the barrier, landing in a far off clearing.

Xemnas is beside Ansem now, standing as they land, “My plan is to go to his mother’s house to leave the rest of you while I find Riku and Kairi, if she doesn’t already know where the two of them would be.”

“And you remember how to get there?”

“.. Yessss,” but he doesn’t sound sure.

Sora chimes in, “I do, I do! I remember how to get to my house!” He’s already at the door. He wants to be f r e e.

“Ah, that then,” turning to the door, he spots Sora’s eagerness, glancing back to Ansem. “… I’m going to let you out the door. And you can come home when you’re ready, yes?”

With bright, excited eyes, betraying that yellow glow he still wears, “YES!”

“Is that wise?” Ansem questions, unbuckling himself and standing to join them.

“He won’t get lost.”

“And if he finds his friends before you do?”

“I’ll explain it later. Riku is smart, he will know.”

“LET ME SEE RIKU,” Sora BARKS, snarls even, startling the both of them at the sudden and violent change of demeanor.

“OI,” Vanitas barks back from his chair as he weakly attempts to unbuckle himself, “Open that door if you know what’s good for you.” A sharp warning, Xemnas understands well he should trust Vanitas’ advice, as he’s the one most familiar with this Sora, so Xemnas opens it- and Sora is _gone,_ in a literal flash, a shadowstep that leaves him meters away, and then once more where he’s completely out of sight.

Swallowing roughly, Ventus looks to Vanitas- because while Xemnas and Ansem did not catch his expression, just his tone of voice, Ventus swears he saw _fear_ in his other’s eyes as he shouted. Whispering, “… Vanitas… should we have, let him go?”

Looking up at Ventus, Vanitas lips purse, eyes squinting nervously. “…ahh… I mean, the alternative would be fighting him in the ship.”

“ _Vanitas…”_

“Well, ok, shit, let me get up and we’ll go, do whatever, it’s fine, it’s probably fine,” he swats at the air and his other ineffectually.

Whispering to each other, Xemnas doesn’t catch what the two are saying, so, “What are you two talking about…?”

As he stands, Vanitas pushes past his other, “Nothing, it’s fine. We should head out so you can go find Riku, or Sora, or whatever,” he gives Ventus a sharp look- because he doesn’t want to blow this out of proportion _. It feeds on fear._

He feels like he shouldn’t trust him, but Ventus folds, eyebrows furrowed as they head outside. Terra is already out, stretching and enjoying the warm air until Sora blasts past so quickly he’s barely existent- looking back now, he catches that anxiety on Ventus’ face, questioning it with a raised eyebrow. The younger man continues to neglect to explain. To watch the ship, and to remain out of the way, Ansem stays behind, but shoves a gummiphone in Xemnas’ hand. “Do not lose this. Call me if anything bad happens,” and he nods in agreement, pocketing the device for later.

As much as Xemnas could waste his time prying answers from the pseudo siblings, he’d rather get them all settled down while he tracks down Riku and, suppose now, Sora. Maybe Sora’s just gone to his mother’s house, like he claimed he knew how to get to. To Xemnas credit, he mostly remembers how to get to Holly’s house, and where he forgets, his heart perks from inside Terra to provide the rest of the direction. It’s strange to be knocking at her door uninvited, but after a minute or so, she shuffles up with a singsong, “Who iiiis it-“ and as the door opens, wide eyed in confusion to the half-familiar face, “O-oh. Oh! Oh oh hello, hello!,” she leans forwards to grasp his hands, and he offers them to her insistence. Looking around him to the two- no wait, three others behind, “… More hellos!” Xemnas had asked before their arrival that Vanitas might hide at first, but she can see see his boots.

“My apologies, Holly,” she raises a brow at his suspiciously deep voice, “I have brought home to you a… very… confusing, situation. May we come in?”

“Of course! I.. might be a bit crowded, but,” and she moves from the doorway, offering them in.

Before he steps inside, however, “First, I must warn you, I’m about to bring a boy inside who looks much akin to your son, but it is not Sora.”

…blinking, she peers behind him, and Vanitas looks back from around Terra. Vanitas corrects Xemnas’ statement, though, "Teeeeechnically, I came first, so, Sora, looks like _me_ ,” and he shrugs, hands wide.

She stares at him long and hard, eyebrows knit, lips pursed into a frown, but slowly it fades into a warm smile. Softly, she offers Vanitas barely outstretched arms, “… Hey, I know what he just said, but.. can I… You wanna come here for a minute.”

He’s… confused, but steps forwards as Xemnas fully enters the house, peering around for signs for Sora. Face to face with Sora’s mother- or rather, face to chest, because he’s a bit shorter than her, “What is it.”

“You’re looking… good.”

“.. do I know you?” That’s a weird feeling- he kind of feels like he _does_.

“Ah, maybe not,” but slowly, she wraps her hands around his shoulders, waiting for any resistance, and when she finds nothing but confused, restrained staring, she pulls him into a hug. Both Ventus and Terra stare incredulously, awaiting him to fight back, shove or bark, but he just… doesn’t. Tense at first, but the initial response fades, and Vanitas just sort of… relaxes into it. That moment sits for a while, staring down at the top of his head, but when she moves to release him, he doesn’t pull away, so instead she shuffles herself slowly backwards, dragging him along with. No longer blocking the entrance, she offers the remaining two of them into her house with a nod of her head. Having been on the receiving end of Holly’s motherly affection, Xemnas feels like he fully understands Vanitas’ entire willingness to be held by her, and questions nothing. Quietly, “You two can sit down on the couch, if you’d like,” she smiles, pointing them in the direction of the living room with a nod of her head. She remains standing in the entryway to her living room with Vanitas still in her arms and Xemnas standing nearby, slowly rocking on her heels, “So, what’s up then, stranger?”

“Oh, Nexahs, my name. Or, it would be, but I’ve fallen apart.” He moves to stand in the living room where it’s slightly less small, and when she looks at a nearby light switch, he gets the hint and flicks it on.

Head tilting, “… fallen apart? Is that why both your eyes are gold?... and your hair is.. different. Less weird, honestly, but still a little weird.”

“Yes. I’ll be together again soon- my heart is resting in the brown-haired man,” he gestures to Terra, who perks up and offers a nervous wave. “His name is Terra. The boy in your grasp is Vanitas, and the last one is Ventus.”

“Are you all Sora’s friends too?” Xemnas nods, technically that is true. Looking between Terra and Xemnas for a discerning moment, her eyes squint, “You two look awfully similar, too.”

Terra freezes, remembering his obligation to uphold the world order and expecting Xemnas not to respect this, “Aahhh… he’s my…uncle.”

Xemnas stifles a deadpan srnk, “It’s alright, she already knows. Sora’s mother- you think he kept his mouth shut.”

“Oh thank god, alright,” Terra relaxes, because that was such an incredibly garbage excuse.

Turning back to Holly, “The reason we look similar is very complicated. I am technically a time-clone of his.”

“… Yeahp- too complicated for me! Maybe one day.”

“Task at hand, Holly. I have actually brought you a.. present… most of a present.” She gives him a confused look, letting him continue, but he bites his lip as he parses how he’s going to explain this. “Sora’s…heart, left his body once. When this happens, pieces of your body and soul may be left behind, which is somewhat what I am currently. One time, or possibly many times, that his heart left his body and soul, left them in many pieces. He attempted to take back all these shards to form enough himself- and did, returning to our world to fight an extremely vital fight. But he left many pieces behind as well.” Oh, god, she looks so completely confused, face warping this complete bewilderment more and more as Xemnas continues his explanation. “I have found a being of these collected pieces. He is ‘Sora’, but… sick, may be a way to describe it. Without his heart. I’m sorry that I have not found your son’s heart, and that I’ve brought you these… broken pieces instead…”

“Uhm... well, it’s still Sora, isn’t it? Like you said? Pieces coming together… to be… Sora?”

“He very much wants to be Sora, so much that he thinks strongly this is his home.”

“He doesn’t have to think it,” she speaks firmly, “If he’s any part Sora, then Destiny Island is his home. Even if he’s something new now, like I think you’re implying he is.”

“That is good to hear from you. I can only hope now that when I find Riku and Kairi, they will think similarly.”

As if on cue, the door slams open, “Holly, are you h-uhhh-“ Riku stares up at the sight of Xemnas- who is clearly Xemnas and not Nexahs, Holly with what appears to be a black haired Sora in her arms, and to the living room, where he spots Roxas??? No- Terra’s there, it’s Ventus. His voice breaks when he shrills, “whAT-“ Ansem said he was coming with Nexahs. And no further explanation. This surprised is wholly unwanted.

“Oh yes, Riku, just the man I wanted to see,” but Riku’s pushing past to see Vanitas, having never seen the dark haired Sora clone before-“wuh- wait- not Sora, that’s not Sora,” Xemnas snags Riku by an arm, pulling him before he can grab Vanitas. Registering the commotion, he peers up from his hug resting on Holly’s chest, giving Riku a curious look.

“Sorry bucko, I’m not Sora,” Much to Riku’s distaste, he even _sounds_ like Sora. Vanitas raises an eyebrow to Xemnas, asking with a look if he plans on explaining it to Riku before the other teen explodes from anxiety.

“This is Vanitas, the fold to Ventus,” and Xemnas gestures to the blonde-haired boy on the couch, who waves weakly. “I… Now I get to explain myself twice in quick succession, ideal,” Xemnas stares off into nothing with a sigh, before eyes fall to Riku once more. “Why did you run in in a hurry?”

Weakly, he takes a step back, hands balling into fists, “I just…I thought I saw…Sora… I guess I just saw you,” he absolutely mumbles, gesturing weakly to Vanitas, who is fully turned around and released from Holly’s hugging.

“Perhaps not,” Xemnas replies, “Where did you see him?”

“..huh? Outside, by the water… He was up on a rock, but then he disappeared over the cliff-face.”

“Riku. I have brought home Sora’s Nobody.” He’ll explain better later.

His face drops, mouth agape. “His…nobody?” Weakly, “but… where’s his… heart..”

“I don’t know. But his nobody was sad, and lonely, and trapped in a realm of pure light. He is filled with darkness, to cope living in encompassing light without fading. He wanted to come ‘home’, so I brought him here. Perhaps not for the better… but I did not know what else to do but give him something he wanted.”

Swallowing roughly, he looks about the room, but is left without a familiar face to gauge the legitimateness of this story. Holly just shrugs. The explanation Riku got seemed a million times simpler than hers- but she supposes, what the fuck was a ‘nobody’.

..Quietly, Riku somewhat changes the subject while he parses his thoughts, “Why are you Xemnas.”

“Nexahs found Sora’s nobody while dreaming, in a realm of light. Unable to find this place while waking, he grabbed him, and threw him into the realm of darkness where he might be reached. However, Nexahs is no longer protected from that pure, unrestrained darkness. I, Xemnas, am seemingly unaffected, or at least mostly unaffected. Terra holds the heart you are familiar with,” and he gestures to the man on the couch, who nods. Riku sees it in him now, one of Terra’s eyes is that dark, near black, a hair or two to that side turning grey.

“….Okay….. lets go find Sora’s nobody, then,” Riku turns towards the door, pulling his phone from his pocket and immediately dialing for Kairi. Stopping just outside the doorway, he looks to Xemnas, waiting for him to come along.

And he does, offering Holly a nod and a shoulder pat as they leave- but Vanitas follows as well. He gives his other half a telling look, too, to join them, so Ventus hops to his feet, shrugging to Terra, “You stay here, I guess!”

Terra nods, looking to Holly, “If you don’t mind, ma’am.”

“Of course not! Let me get you something to drink while we wait for the boys to go bring me back, from what I can tell, parts of my son. Maybe a leg! Like, a leg, with a head on it,” she jokes her complete lack of comprehension of the situation, which has Vanitas loosing a low, pained laugh as he hops out the door behind Xemnas.


	16. Chapter 16

Riku has no words to give them as they head towards the beach, not necessarily because he’s mad, but because he’s.. legitimately without response. This _was_ technically Nexahs upholding some parts of his ‘promise’. Riku may be annoyed that Nexahs sacrificed his own already poor health to do it, but it’s in the past, Riku supposes. He can scold Nexahs later, once he’s ‘himself’ again.

Maybe there’s more to this ‘nobody’ of Sora than Xemnas thinks, or maybe Sora’s original heart will be drawn to return to it. He can’t lie- he _feels_ Sora here now, close to his chest, albeit with a strange, familiar scent lingering in the air. Leading them towards the water where Riku had last seen him, Kairi is there to meet them, staring out towards the water with her arms folded over her chest. The sun is just barely above the horizon, the light of day dwindling in a harsh, amber glow; stars sparkle past a cloudless dark expanse opposite to the waters edge and back towards the town.

Hearing footsteps, she looks over her shoulder, forcing her forlorn expression into a smile as the boys arrive- Vanitas hides behind Xemnas this time so there’s no confusion until they can explain. Though Kairi does see the extra set of feet, she greets Xemnas first, as he leads slightly behind Riku, “Ah- hello there…again… Xemnas.” She looks up to his eyes, and he tries to give her a look of pity.

Before Xemnas can explain, however, Riku speaks, “I already told her what’s up, you can stop hiding, Vanitas.”

“Oh good,” so he does, stepping into the sand for five seconds before the sand becomes inside of them, and he becomes out of his shoes. Ventus gives him an exasperated look, because those are _my_ shoes you’re ditching, but Vanitas in unaffected by his other’s annoyance. He’ll get them back later(he wont get them back later).

It still gives Kairi a shock to see the dark haired ‘clone’, since she knows they’re after Sora’s nobody, but she gets over it quick enough. “Hey, Ventus…ah.. Vanitas.” She’s still confused as to why he’s even here, having heard that he was well.. evil? But it’s not the time for that questioning, it’s not like she hasn’t already been through the whole ‘Xemnas/Ansem is good now’ situation. “I’ve been just.. hanging out here seeing if he’ll come back…”

“Oh, he’s already been here?” Vanitas interjects, waving a dismissive hand, “Then he probably won’t come again- doesn’t like seeing the same thing twice. Unless you got something he might want to see. You do have Sora bait though, right here,” he points between the two of them. “He wanted to see the both of you. Word of warning, though. He thinks he’s hallucinating. Don’t be surprised if he acts really.. stilted,” Vanitas deigns to explain to them, now that they’re all together. Not making the same mistake as Xemnas earlier, no repeating himself.

Scratching the underside of his jaw, Riku sighs at the implications of that. “Can I ask how you know that?”

A short, singular laugh, “Yeah, sure. Like the old man said,” elbowing Xemnas, “he threw Sora into the realm of darkness, and then he hung out with me for like… maybe years. Dark realm years, though, so who knows.”

“Is that why you’re here? Are you two friends now?”

“… Ah..” his nose wrinkles in distaste, teethy sneering, “don’t say it like that.”

Exhaling a laugh, Riku shakes his head. “Whatever you say. I appreciate the information.”

Xemnas questions, almost timidly, “Do you think you’ll like this Sora still?” He questions to Kairi, but the girl just shrugs.

“Well… I don’t know,” Riku replies, “does he still act like Sora? Or is it like Roxas, or Namine?”

“He… pretends to act like Sora does, but is quite… depressed.”

“…I can work with that,” Riku shrugs, flexing fingers. Well, he can _probably_ work with that. Sora’s dealt with Riku losing himself before, so perhaps its time to return the favor.

Kairi speaks, “Do you think if-… Do you think _when_ we find Sora’s heart, he’ll want to join it?” Since some nobodies did rejoin with their hearts, but in the case of Roxas and Namine, well…

Xemnas doesn’t answer immediately, because he doesn’t really know the answer. “He seems like he… wants, to be Sora. But that may not be an option. Many of us did rejoin with our old hearts, but new experiences can separate our existences. They would have to meet before anything can be sure.”

Well, that was an answer, she supposes, eyes casting out towards the waters again.

“Hey! I thought you said you’d be at my moms!”

Looking over his shoulder, Xemnas spots the aforementioned Sora arriving, waving wide at them as he approaches. Kairi and Riku flinch at that immediately recognizable voice- not like Vanitas that sounds _somewhat_ like Sora, but entirely 100% their wayward friend.

Rubbing his face to gather himself, Riku turns around first, immediately putting on his usual, familiar smiling facade as he turns towards him. “We were already there, you goof. You didn’t show up, so we went looking.” Xemnas, Ventus and Vanitas make themselves scarce to the side of this situation- but they both note how Vanitas is watching this occur like a _hawk._ At the ready, and nervous. Ventus mouths the words ‘what’s up’, but Vanitas just shushes him with a palm.

Kairi is less good at faking, so when she finally turns around, she looks about an inch away from crying, immediately stamping through the sand to bridge the distance between them. Sora seems incredibly surprised by this response, blinking at her curiously and her miserable approach. When she’s close enough, she moves to grasp his hands, but he pulls her into his arms, spinning her up on his heels with a startled peep. “Howdy! What’s the long face for?”

Sputtering as he sets her back down, “Auh, Sora, I just, ohhh,” she looks at his face, and his unfamiliar yellow eyes, which Xemnas did not warn them about, so it’s an uncomfortable surprise. He’d mentioned Sora was filled with darkness, but to see it so stark on his face… She hugs him back, though, clung around his waist.

Looking around Kairi as he’s being hugged, Sora tilts a curious head to Riku, who approaches much slower, trying not to flex his fingers too much. Sora’s gaze flicks down to his hands, though, and back up to his face with a more reserved smile. Pained, maybe. Wondering what Riku is so nervous about. Humming, he looks down to Kairi again, who doesn’t seem interested in letting go yet, and well, it’s no bother to him if she wants to cling for a bit. Wrapping his arms over her shoulders, he rocks back and forth on his heels, offering the top of her head a quick smooch before looking back to Riku, “Sorryyyy, I just haven’t been here in a while, I wanted to see some things, first.”

Pocketing his hands as he stands there, Riku gives Sora a soft look in response, “Well, from our perspective, it’s only been about half a year? A little more.”

“Dang! Lucky you- it’s _definitely_ been a… _little_ longer for me,” he sighs, shrugging with eyes lidded. Riku can see the extra time on him easily- a touch taller, ratted clothes, his hair defying its spikes from length. How tired he looks under those telling yellow eyes. Sora’s eyes reopen slowly to stare down, or rather stares ‘up’ his old friend, still curious with how concerned he looks with him. Riku’s rarely looks this troubled- but this Sora remembered him imprinted in his mind as the pinnacle of a stalwart warrior, shredding the demon tide with no mote of fear… before it devoured them all, regardless of his efforts. Sora’s expression goes momentarily blank as he recalls his last memories of life, gaze drifting to the side. He shakes his head out and reorients to ‘reality’ when Riku speaks again.

“I can.. tell,” Riku speaks under his breath, reacting to Sora’s sudden and momentary change of expression with a concerned raised brow. Reaching to Kairi to pet the back of her neck with the nailed tips of his fingers, he silently asks for her to give him some space. Aware of this, she slowly unwraps herself from Sora’s midsection, staring at his shoes with tears in her eyes. “It’s alright, we’re not mad you wanted to wander off before you came to say hello.”

Delicately, Sora squishes Kairi’s weepy face, wiping off her tears with his thumbs, “Then why’re you crying!”

Weakly, she responds, “You said it, you were gone for a while.” Close to him, now, she feels his darkness, his misery. His loneliness. It made it next to impossible to hold her emotions in.

“6 months!” He gently taps her nose with an index finger, “for you. It’ll be a bit longer for me still though, isn’t it~?” Her eyebrows furrow in confusion to that, blinking out her tears as he looks him over, and then to Riku behind. Knowing the other boy is probably eager to get a hug of his own, she bows her head, and backs up just a touch more. Pursing his lips, Sora looks up to Riku, nose wrinkling, “Dang, you’re still taller than me.”

“Knowing your parents, you will always be shorter than me. Don’t worry, you can be taller than Kairi,” and he takes a step forwards, Sora immediately reciprocating to wrap his arms around him, head resting on his chest and eyes lidding.

Aahhh…. he’s so warm. Was he always this warm? Kairi was warm too, but this felt _different_. The light of her heart- it blends into the realm he’s become so intimately familiar with, even close to her chest, connecting to her, crying to her heart, it was an incomprehensible haze. Now, desperately, Sora calls out to Riku, for any mote that might truly prove to him this is real now. Sure, nothing about his most ‘recent’ hallucinated adventures has been formula to what he’s been given in the past, but that doesn’t mean Sora’s little ethereal caretaker wasn’t just getting really good at its job. It’s been years, and years, and years…. No heart he came into contact with recently is known well enough to prove its legitimacy, though Vanitas and Xemnas were definitely _interesting_.-

There’s a familiar pounding in his ears.

Something that couldn’t be imitated. 

A song in his chest, in his throat-

And when Sora slowly looks up to Riku- the taller boy isn’t expecting him to look down at pure, unrestrained _horror,_ though he feels that connection in Sora’s heart, and like Kairi had earlier, feels his misery- and a jolting pang of _rage_. Mouth agape, he begins to shake, warbling a few nonsensical vowels before he manages to speak, “This is….real?”

…An eyebrow raises, and Riku quietly replies, “…yes?”

Sora’s eyes snap to Vanitas at the side, ripping from Riku’s grasp, “THIS IS REAL?!”

Vanitas exclaims back in time, shaking his fist before violently pointing at him, stamping into the sand, “I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU IT WAS REAL-“

“YOU DIDN’T- UHG,” Sora’s demeanor changes on a dime, shoving Riku away roughly, and nearly giving Kairi a whack before Riku can snag her by an arm and tug her away from Sora suddenly losing his shit. “WHAT DO YOU **MEAN** THIS IS REAL?!”

“Whoa- WHOA, Sora-!” Despite being punched once already, Riku tries to reason with him, but Sora has a mean strength to him, and the second hit he receives has Riku reeling backwards, taking Kairi a few paces back with him. Maybe if they give him a bit of space, he’ll settle…

He’s still yelling at Vanitas, “WHEN! When was this REAL-“

“When dumbass,” he elbows Xemnas, again, who continues to take it without a wince, “pulled you into the realm of darkness!”

A second of silence as his yellow gaze flicks between Vanitas and Xemnas. “.. _XEMNAS_ SAVED ME?” his head snaps to Riku and Kairi incredulously, which has Riku feeling _awful_ to hear, before he’s back to Xemnas, “YOU!?”

Xemnas… shrugs,  “Yes. It was an accident. Or I had outside help. I haven’t figured it out yet.”

Sora’s hands slap over his face so violently it’s audible, reverberating into the evening air- but he’s unaffected by the pain, screaming into his hands, “I CAN’T BELIEVE- I, oh god, I,” he peaks a desperate eyeball between his fingers, hoarsely under his breath now, and muffled, “ _I’m not the Sora you’re looking for.”_

Still a step backwards with Kairi behind him, Riku offers a calm hand, “No, I know, it’s fine, I-“

“No, nooo no no no,” Sora steps backwards and away from him, nearly tripping over his shoes as his hands still cover his eyes, “I’m not actually Sora! I’m not who you’re looking for, if this is real- I gotta, no, I gotta go home,” and he turns away from them, stumbling towards the roadway he came from.

Until Riku snags him up by an arm- Vanitas tries to call out a ‘no don’t do that’- but it’s too late, and Sora is overcome with darkness, flaring with it. Spreading from his chest, his heart, Sora’s body becomes fully encompassed with that familiar darkness, a shrill of discomfort as his hands peel from his face to grasp claws into the sand. He rips away from Riku’s grasp, knocking him back with a ‘weak’ kick of his leg- which still sends him flying back ass first into the sand, and stunning him into laying there.

Well, since Riku immediately fucked that up, Vanitas looks to Ventus, whapping his arm to get his other’s attention, “You’re probably not going to want to let that _thing_ anywhere close to the town.”

“Ahh, okay..!” taking his threat seriously, Ventus breaks from Vanitas and Xemnas with keyblade summoned. Xemnas and Vanitas opt not to immediately intervene- because Vanitas isn’t up to fighting in the realm of light, and Xemnas assumes Sora isn’t going to find any camaraderie despite the aforementioned saving his life. Ventus takes the moment Rage-Sora is distracted with Riku to get ahead of him and maybe point him back to the beach, “Hey there buddy!” Sora seems to take massive offense to being cut off or maybe even spoken to, a rusted Kingdom Key appearing in his backwards grasp as he turns from Riku to Ventus, snarling at him in just, a disturbingly inhuman manner. Eyes wide, “Ohhhh, that’s probably bad-HHHH-“ in which he is cut off by desperately blocking a keyblade to the head. The force behind Rage-Sora is nothing Ventus has ever really felt before, meeting with the light in his heart to spark _uncomfortably_ into the air- but not a perfect fold to Ventus’ light, it rings out its energy into the twilight air, blasting the sand around them into a crater beneath. Taken aback by that, Ventus hesitates, swallowing roughly as he stares up to featureless yellow eyes, which is taken advantage of immediately. Snapping around him, Sora immediately digs into his side with one veritable handful of claws, before hitting so hard and fast there’s no moment for Vanitas or Riku nearby to save him; Ventus’ limp form is tossed and trailing dirt and blood some 20 feet away.

“VENTUS, FUCK-“ Vanitas skitters to his near-dead other, knowing that Rage-Sora is not something you want to be on the other end of, but not expecting him to immediately go in for the kill. He usually plays around first! Chases, dodges, amuses himself! But he is something else tonight, apparently.

Aware she’s the only adept healer in their party, Kairi also breaks off towards Ventus, leaving their fight with the murder-machine up to Riku and Xemnas.

Rage-Sora still makes an attempt to ‘finish the job’ on the downed other keyblade wielder before the others can reach him- but Chirithy appears in a puff of smoke, desperately crying out, “Sora, no! This isn’t you!” He stops half a foot short of Ventus and Chirithy valiantly guarding him and catches recognition in that little dream eater, curling back on himself like a scolded dog. He takes a few steps back on all fours, shaking out his head in a desperate bid to regain control of himself at Chirithy’s insistence, but it doesn’t look like it will be to any avail.

Xemnas is slow on his feet, but responds once Ventus hits the ground, teleporting just out of reach to try to grab Rage-Sora’s attention, and disappearing just before the thing can hit him. It works wonderfully, and he tears away from Chirithy and Ventus before he changes his mind, snarling and biting for Xemnas’ feet as he hovers. However, Riku is just getting off his ass, trying to parse the situation as his gaze darts between the lot of them, “This is not easy,” Xemnas rasps, “he is very quick,” a struggle in his tone, and Riku runs off down the beachfront, away from them.

“Sora- Sora, come HERE- send him that way!,” Riku points down the beach, because it heads away from the city, and into rocks and caves they might stuff Sora into until he’s, hopefully, over this fit he’s having. Anti-form, they used to call it, but this somehow seems.. _different_. More powerful- and his keyblade still in hand. An ominous red glow that circles around him as he tromps around, leaving trails of scorched black with each hand and footfall that meets sand.

Xemnas does as Riku tells, shift-stepping just out of reach until Sora’s headed that way, and then sends him off running. With that situation abysmally temporarily fixed, Riku heads back to the other three, where Ventus is completely unconscious and bleeding, and Kairi is attempting to remedy the situation with keyblade drawn. Shaking in fear, Chirithy hops down to Ventus’ face, curling up around his head.

There are minutes of silence while Kairi focuses, Riku thinking he might assist, but holding off in fear he’d need his magic for later. She’s doing a wonderful job on her own. A step or two away, Vanitas in sitting in the sand and nervously rubbing his face before he speaks to break the silence, “I could’ve warned you better, huh.”

Turning to him, Riku snarks, “Did you _know_ he would hit that hard?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“And you just, didn’t think to mention this?”

“I was _hoping_ it wouldn’t happen,” Vanitas sneers back, teeth barred, “Would you rather I’d made you _scared of him_? Well- here’s your warning, buttercup. You should be _scared_ of that thing. You shouldn’t let it live with you, and you definitely shouldn’t _hug it_.”

Appearing beside the group in a flash and still floating in the air, Xemnas rumbles, “Like you can say that, Vanitas.”

“You shouldn’t hug me either- whether people do or not isn’t my concern.”

“Where’s Sora?” Riku questions, annoyed that Xemnas is here and not occupied with darkness infused murder-boy.

“In a cave, like you said. He settled down when I stopped bothering him, just curled up in a corner.”

“Well, _apparently_ ,” Riku gestures to Vanitas, “we should be keeping an eye on him.”

“Yes. _You_ should do that,” Xemnas gestures an arm at Riku.

“Oh, _now_ is when you’ll give me the reigns, huh? It didn’t help five minutes ago, when grabbing him made him freak out in the first place.”

“Yes, but he still prefers you to me. Explicitly, he came to see you, and Kairi. But she seems occupied.” She really is, working to keep the blood from falling directly out of the hole in Ventus’ side. It’s working, his laboured breathing leveling somewhere more comfortable, but the Curaga drains her magic spectacularly.

Sighing, Riku stands again from his kneeling at her side, dusting off his pants, “If I’m not back in an hour, come scrape my body off the floor, I guess.”

“I’ll come check in ten minutes?” Xemnas asks.

“No,” he offers a flat palm to him, “if he’s this mad and wants to be alone, interruption could kill me. Just, give me an hour,” and he walks off towards the caves.

Having been floating still, Xemnas slowly finds the sand beneath his feet again, looking curiously down at Ventus’ unconscious self. “… Is he alright.” As always, Xemnas’ tone is barely above deadpan, with the shortest lilt of concern.

Having been healing him as they sit there, he’s away from death now, but definitely isn’t getting up anytime soon. Chirithy’s shaking stops, though he still seems uncomfortable, grasped around Ventus’ head. “That was…scary,” she sighs, “I didn’t… expect Sora to… I mean, him and Ventus were friends…”

Vanitas shrug, scooting on his ass to Ventus’ side now that Kairi isn’t babying him, and patting his other’s front gently. I’m helping. “I mean, not really. They didn’t even know each other, he just hid in Sora’s body for like, ten years. Does that make you someone’s friend?”

“Well.. to Sora, yeah.”

“Pffbt- _stupid_.”

Annoyed by the situation and Vanitas dismissive nature, Kairi barks back at him, “It’s not stupid!”

“It didn’t help him any,” pat pat pat. “And it never helped me. If me and Sora are friends, too.”

“Did he… do this to you too?”

“Nah, I learned quick what that dark-Sora is about. Killed lots of my unversed, though. When he gets mad, he gets _mad_. I just thought if he was with you guys, he’d stop getting so mad. Guess not though. Instead he just got,” and he laughs, “ _more mad_!”

“Let us settle the rest of this argument home where Ventus can lay not in the cold, wet sand,” Xemnas leans down, pushing the two away to lift the limp body into his arms carefully, offering Chirithy to crawl up on Ventus’ chest. Nervous now, though he doesn’t overtly look it, Xemnas deigns not to walk, floating onto his heels and casually levitating as they head back to Holly’s place. In the very off chance teleporting around will be a thing he is required to do again.

Holly receives the surprise of ‘Nexahs’ just…uh… floating there at her door, and then the injured boy in his arms. “Oh god- what- what happened,” taking a step backwards, she gestures wildly at Terra who had been still relaxing on the couch after an rather quiet and uneventful evening with Holly- but he spots Ventus half dead and is up and over in an instant.

“Ventus!” his eyes fall to the still floating Xemnas, “What _happened_?” he barks, laying a hand over Ventus’ chest, and Chirithy crowded alongside. Breathing, but laboured, and blood on his shirt, but no remaining perforation.

“Sora had an existential crisis,” Xemnas rumbles back down at him, offering Terra his boy, which he does take. “He’s alive, Kairi is very good at what she does.”

“I mean… yeah,” she nods, eyes wide and falling to the side, “I’m sticking around to make sure he’s still good, don’t worry Terra.”

“Do you trust Riku to solve the problem alone?” Xemnas turns back to her, head tilting. Now that he’s given Ventus to Terra, he becomes significantly more comfortable, and lowers back down to the floor.

“I don’t know anyone else better,” she shrugs, lips pursing as her eyes fall to the floor. “I mean, he didn’t even know I was real, right.”

“Alright,” Holly interrupts, “lets all step inside- here, Terra, we’ll go take him upstairs to sleep in Sora’s bed,” offering them entrance, she ushers Xemnas, Kairi and Vanitas into the living room while her and Terra head upstairs with Ventus in tow. Vanitas immediately opts to curl up on the floor beside the couch, desiring to also be unconscious, while Kairi sits tiredly on the couch, and Xemnas stands, eying the door on guard.

Without facing her, Xemnas realizes a detail, “Kairi. He did not recognize you because you have no darkness, not due to any favoritism.”

“…uh?” Her attention is perked from her exhaustion, “and how do you.. know that?”

“He was pulled from a realm of pure light. Anything it created to keep him occupied would also have been made of pure light. When he connected with you, it likely still read as those fakes he was fed before.”

“… Why would it make him fakes like that?”

“If it has any kind of sentience, perhaps it felt bad he was trapped there, and wanted to give him any kind of pity. Alternatively, he could have made his own world out of boredom, but can only make it from the light he was provided. The true answer is likely out of my reach.”

“…yeah, I guess. I hope this can still work out for the better.”

Rumbling from his curled place on the ground, “Ventus won’t take it personally, don’t worry.”

“Terra looks like he will, though,” Kairi glances to Vanitas, and then the stairs. There’s shuffling and quiet words they can hear, but not much else.

“Terra can eat my foot.”

“… no, Vanitas,” but from stress, her face breaks into a weak smile, and a soft laugh.

Ducking back down from upstairs after a few minutes, Holly appears, but Terra does not. “Ahh.. he’s gonna stay up there with his friend. Looking kinda… rough… Did… did Sora do that?”

“Unfortunately, he did,” Xemnas nods, turning to face her. “It is complicated. I was also unaware he had such a sickness like this. My apologies, that I do not think he can stay here as I wished he could, Holly.”

She opens her mouth to retort, but it closes again. As much as she wants to see her boy again, if he’s dangerous enough like this…. Wringing her hands together nervously, she looks to Kairi, who equally looks like she’s having the same internal conflict.

“Well… Wait till Riku gets back, ok? Maybe he’ll figure something out,” Kairi adds.

“I guess yeah,” Holly nods, “If anyone is going to know Sora’s ‘bad’ the best, it’s Riku.”

\---

There’s a thankful trail of dark scorch marks in the sand and rocks as Riku walks on, the smell of ozone and familiar ‘darkness’ in the air. He’s listening intently for sounds of struggle, but as Xemnas had said, Sora is just curled up in a corner, a rising tide creeping inside this cave to lap ocean water up his legs. Padding along inside the soon to be waterlogged cave as well, Riku laments how poor a choice of hiding spot this is. Rage-Sora perks to the sound of wet footsteps, snarling, but he spots it’s Riku, and just Riku, slowly lowering back to the ground and sighing dramatically, heaving his whole body in exertion like an unruly dog. His rusted Kingdom Key is stabbed into the rocks to the side of him, far enough away it wouldn’t be easy to grab- but it’s not like one needs to reach for their keyblade to regain it.

“Yeah, you do that,” Riku hums back, cautiously approaching, still very wary that he might be luring him in for attack, but trying hard to trust him. “I’ve seen you do this before, you know. Or maybe something just like it.”

Again, Sora tilts up his head, ominously glowing yellow eyes peering up at his old friend. Too quickly though, he remembers that Riku isn’t ‘his’ friend. Rejecting himself, he settles his face back into the growing ocean water, gurgling into it.

Close enough now, Riku reaches down to snag him by the back of his hood, tugging him up enough he’s not drowning, “No, don’t be like that. You can’t drown in this cave.”

Somehow, Sora is able to ‘speak’- but it’s so jarring, shrill but quiet, due toned and miserable, “I want to.”

There’s a momentary startle, but Riku’s on his A game. “You didn’t come all this way just to drown, Sora.”

“I’m not Sora.”

“You are, if you want to be,” Riku laughs under his breath, “and if you don’t- you don’t have to be.”

“I want to be.”

“Then _be_. Be Sora. Stand back up. Crawl your ass out of the water. _Get back up_ ,” he continues to tug, and it hits that familiar feeling in Sora’s mind.

“Alright.” And so he does as told, standing up slowly, but still very much consumed by darkness. Standing in front of Riku now, Sora rocks on his heels idly, a faint red glow about his hands and feet, blackened with featureless yellow holes for eyes. “This isn’t right yet,” Sora muses to himself, hands raising to rub his face.

“Not quite,” Riku joins him, a hand of his own settling below Sora’s, thumbing over the back of his palm. He’s very cold, Riku thinks, and the darkness pricks into his hand, but he doesn’t remove it.

“I don’t know how to stop.”

“Hmnn…” Riku muses, resting the knuckle of his free hand barely beneath his chin as he thinks. “Well, it’s probably not as easy as telling you to relax… Hey, what were you even doing before you met up with us on the beach?”

“…ahh….” He rasps, head tilting down to look at the ground and the water creeping up their legs. “I went and, I saw the, old school-house. Tidus was there practicing, with Wakka. I _caN’T_ believe they’re _stILL_ trying to be sports stars.” See, Riku! Look at how I have all these Sora memories. Even though Riku already believes him, and Sora was just trying to convince himself.

Riku is trying very hard not to find his rage-voice spine chilling, but my god. He sounds like a literal demon. Exactly what he’d think heartless would sound like if they spoke. He’s never been so thankful that they _can’t_. “Oh yeah” Riku nods, ”they’re still up to that. So, with that to watch, what made you come back this way? Vanitas made it seem like you wouldn’t.”

“I felt.. _you_.”

A short laugh, “Ah. He said that, too.”

“I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“No you doo _on’t_. You don’t, _know me,_ ” his tone fades, alongside his postures as he tilts miserably to the side; but then Riku holds him up there by that one hand he’s grasping, convincing Sora to remain standing.

“So, then how do you know you know _me_? If you’ve just been talking to a fake me before, or old memories. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Get to know me first too, if that’s the standard you’re going to have.”

“…ahh….” And with that, the darkness abates, draining from him from head, down too his toe, murking the water beneath them. Exhausted now though, Sora’s posture truly fails him, wheezing as he catches himself with hands on thighs. “…fuck….” His throat sounds sore now, creaking, but not demonic.

“There you go,” he rubs a hand through his hair, “Can we get out of the cave yet? Before the tide soaks my pants?” Well, it already was, but he supposes soaks _more_ of his pants.

Still wheezing, Sora doesn’t look like he’s good to walk yet, and neglects to respond in turn, so Riku opts to take a step forwards, leaning down to pull him into his arms. Holding him bridal style, he splashes out to the beach, ready for an uncomfortable, wet walk home. “Did I hurt someone,” Sora rasps, barely cognizant of his darkness-induced mania as it fades- but he does know it happened.

“Yeah, you did.”

“I don’t remember. I do remember, but I don’t.”

“It happens. He’ll be fine.”

“I’ll say I’m sorry.”

“Are you really sorry?”

“I don’t know.”

\---

It’s around the hour as warned by the time Riku rolls around, Sora curled up in his arms. The sun has fully sunk below the horizon, their silent walk home lit by starlight. The conversation inside has died as well, so the silence is broken by the creak of the door when Riku pushes it open, calling quietly, “Still up?”

“Oh yeah, Riku, we’re in here,” Holly calls back, moving to stand from her spot on the couch next to Kairi and walking towards the entryway, but when she spots her boy curled up in his arms, she pauses, frowning. Sora’s awake, but he looks like he’s rather not be, dull eyes staring ahead of him at nothing. She reaches with a careful hand for his hair- but looks to Riku for permission first, and Riku in turn looks down to Sora. No hesitation there, so he nods, and Holly gives her boy a soft, affectionate pet. No real response, but she knows he’s had a hard day, so she doesn’t begrudge him. “Now, I’d say let’s go tuck you into bed, but I had to put your other friend up there.”

Quietly, his voice is so hoarse she barely registers it between Sora and Vanitas nearby, “I don’t want to sleep anyways.”

“Well,” Riku hums, moving to enter the living room, “Lets just sit down on the couch for a while then.” Kairi shuffles over to one side, and delicately, Riku places Sora in the middle, so that he can sit opposite to Kairi. Holly stands nearby, while Xemnas finds himself sitting on the floor next to Vanitas, simply observing while he subconsciously pets the sleepy boy.

Kairi looks between to the two of them as they sit now, “… Soooo. How was… all that.”

Riku sighs, a soft smile on his face. “It’s not the worst. Is Ventus ok?”

“…ah.. He’s upstairs with Terra. He was a little rough.”

Weakly, Sora wheezes as he sinks into the couch, eyes falling to his shoes, “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll have to tell him you’re sorry tomorrow, but Vanitas says he’ll understand,” Kairi looks down to the floor, shrugging.

“I just-“

Riku interrupts, “We don’t have to talk about it right now.”

Kairi nods, “Mmnmn.”

“You don’t have to be nice to me.”

“But I _want_ to be nice to you,” she sighs, seeing if she can’t get a hand on his thigh, and she does, only receiving a tired glance of ominously glowing eyes.

“I’m not _your_ Sora.”

“That’s ok.”

“I almost killed your friend,” he sneers, nose wrinkling in distaste.

Sassing him, Kairi gives him a look, “You _just said_ you were sorry about that.”

Riku gestures to Xemnas on the floor, “Apparently, not even attempting to destroy the universe will convince us to hate you.” Xemnas nods, looking down to Vanitas as well.

Rasping, Sora leans back into the couch cushions, “Very convenient.”

Suddenly, Xemnas startles, slapping a hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone. He should… tell Ansem…. Riku questions, “Who are you messaging so desperately?”

“Ansem… I was supposed to tell him if something went awry.”

“… and you’re only doing this now?”

Quietly, “I forgot I had it… it’s not my fault…” That was the greatest surge of emotion Xemnas has shown all night, more fear for his old mentor than a violent attacker.

Riku laughs under his breath, “Greeeeat. Hey uh, question, now that we’re all just… relaxing,” he looks between to Holly, Kairi, and then settling on Xemnas again. “I saw a lot of nobodies today too. Including one that was trying to fight people.” Mentioning that seems to perk Holly’s attention too, but she waits impatiently, wringing her hands together.

Xemnas looks up at him, barely timidly, “What… did you do with that one?”

“Me and Kairi whacked it till it left.”

He stifles a sigh of relief. “Ah. That should occur no longer, but if it does, tell it, it must go to the Keyblade Graveyard, if it is unfit to be calm.”

“… And why not tell them to go home?”

Still reserved, Xemnas stares down to the floor for a silent moment before replying, “It collapsed.”

“… Ouhh….” Both Riku and Kairi stare off into nothing at that, because to add to their list of troubles….

Holly interjects, “I, uhh, had a mean one too, but…. It tried to fight the two sword boys, and one of them… kinda… poofed?”

Startled, Xemnas sits upright at this statement, giving Holly a nervous look. “When did this occur?”

“A little later this afternoon. They’d been following me all morning… couldn’t tell why, but. Then bam! A scrambling one with knives came up, tried to steal my shovel, attacked some dusks. The one sword-guy shuffled me into my house, but the second one just… Yeah. I’d seen them disappear before, like, just teleport, but something about this time felt weird. And then the second sword-guy seemed really… despondent. He left about, I don’t know, ten minutes before you showed up? I was going to tell you earlier, but… Out of the two of them, the one that poofed was the more ‘friendly’ one, too.”

“That is fine, I appreciate that you told me now,” but he can’t help but feel that pang of misery to his fallen friend. Then again… maybe it will find its heart again…. Maybe it will be reborn later…

“Gee, it’s really weird to see you getting all miserable about your nobodies, Xemnas,” Sora tilts a curious head at him, eyes barely open. He’s apparently tired, but still unwilling to sleep. “I guess you let all those pent up emotions catch up with you.”

“Maybe I’m taking your advice.”

Still curious in his tone, “And what was that?”

“To be human. It is to feel loneliness, and regret… And happiness, and love. It takes incredible strength to experience both.”

Slowly blinking, his eyes move to Riku, then Kairi. “Yeah… Yeah it does.”

When silence falls again, Holly gives Xemnas a look, and a finger pressed ‘shh’ to her lips. Eyes fall to Riku, who is vehemently staring at Sora slooooowly falling asleep. Kairi goes out first, worn out from healing Ventus earlier and leaning over on Sora’s side, but Sora eventually succumbs. Once he is out, Riku nestles into his friend’s other side, and shutters his eyes. Xemnas gestures a hand for Holly to leave, and with hesitation she does, wandering to her kitchen to clean up a few things, but jumping out of her skin when he opts to teleport beside her. Fortunately, he has the foresight to wrap a gloved palm around her mouth before she yelps, but she equally manages not to entirely lose her shit.

Under her breath, and a few rooms away from the living room now, “Oh my _god,_ my _heart-“_

“Apologies,” he tries not to look humoured by her feared response.

“I was _wondering_ just how you planned to creep by without waking anyone up- a gamble you didn’t just have me screaming! Did you _teleport.”_

“Yes, I can do that now. Or rather, I could do it before. And now I can do it again. The ability might leave me again once I regain my heart….my, other heart.”

“… You got two hearts?” She squints up at him incredulously.

“It’s complicated.” So, she offers with a gestured hand for him to sit at the small kitchen table with her. As even more temptation, she offers him a delicious peanut butter sandwich, so he does sit alongside. Its not like he’s interested in sleeping, and Ansem never replies to his message, so he assumes the old man is tucked away and sleeping in his ship. He’ll be in for a _great_ morning surprise.

“Riku’s tried to fill me in on some details. It’s a shame it kinda just makes me want to go see some of these worlds,” she sighs wistfully as she turns around to pour herself some coffee before sitting back down.

“If I wasn’t concerned you have things to take care of here, I’d say you could. But what would your cat do without you?”

“My neighbour could watch her for a few days! Or she could come with!”

Exhaling a laugh, “Maybe one day. I understand the wanderlust, when you figure out there is... more. What would you think of a world with no ocean at all? Just plains, as far as the eyes can see.”

Frowning, she tries to imagine it, but, “That’s just so wild. You could just walk forever! With the ocean, you’re stuck, ‘cause you’d have to boat… well... I guess. Hmn. I don’t know!”

“It’s a hard idea to comprehend when you’ve never had the chance to consider it. It’s more the thoughts of children, isn’t it?”

“Well, how did _you_ start travelling?”

“…ah… Time travel…” Well, and Xemnas had personally never not known about other worlds, but he talks from the perspective of his original and other’s for clarities sake.

She blinks to that, incredulously. “You’ve _time traveled_?”

“Yes, but I don’t remember it. I’ve just been told.”

“… How do you not remember travelling through time!”

“… It’s complicated?”

“Everything you do is complicated.”

“It is unfortunate. Would you like to know how I’ve lived the length of 2 or 3 lives? Maybe more. Some, concurrently.”

“And yet, one morning, you woke up in my neighbour’s alleyway.”

“You, unfortunately, can not claim to be an average normal woman. Not since you had your son. And your son made friends with another boy. And that boy was gifted a keyblade. Oh, yes, and first, a different boy with a different keyblade stored his heart inside him.”

Blinking to that rapid chain of events, “…That is… several jumps to me, though. Wait- which, Riku? I thought Sora had the important keyblade.”

“He stole it from Riku. To save Riku from himself.” So he vaguely remembers from ‘Ansem’s point of view.

“Oh! Good boy, then. Wait, now they both have one, right?”

“Yes. I suppose Sora’s good deeds made the universe decree he should be its true owner, and then Riku received his own later for similar good behavior. There’s probably more to the situation than I know. Somewhat unrelated… could I ask you a question?”

“Oh yeah, of course.”

“Riku mentioned earlier he knew the height of Sora’s father.” Roundaboutly, at least.

“…oh…yeah?”

“I haven’t seen a father.” Xemnas neglects to register this question might be uncomfortable until he sees her face fall, “Or, nevermind-“

“No no, it’s ok. I have a feeling it’s related to all this, actually. One day, two or nearly three years ago. About… hmn, a fourth of everyone in town just, poof, disappeared. Sora and Riku did too, for a while- really weird, couldn’t even remember Sora for a year, until one day, I just could. Sora said that was some weird shenanigans that I wouldn’t understand- but when I told him his father never came home, he just… Sunk. Never explained.”

Ah. He remembers stories from his heart; when worlds fall to darkness, heartless consume the hearts that are disposed. While many of the worlds reclaimed from darkness also reclaimed the hearts of its citizens, some became beyond reach. But does Xemnas want to explain this? It’s only a second-hand recollection, since ‘Ansem’ is indisposed. “Ahh… Yes. It is related. And somewhat, directly my fault. Or not… ‘my’ fault… My ‘hearts’ fault. I was off doing other, equally damaging things.” She stares at him in complete confusion. “Your husband is lost to darkness.”

…frowning, she stares down at her coffee mug. “Forever?”

“Maybe. Not all hearts stay lost, but. Between your husband, and now your son. I don’t know what to tell you.” Without a body to work with, though, Xemnas has little way of contacting her husband’s heart, even if their connection was very close. But, he could ask his heart about it later. Regardless, he won’t promise her his ability to do anything for her husband- unlike Sora, he had no connection or knowledge on this unknown man’s heart strength.

The conversation fades from there, and Holly finishes up her coffee, heading upstairs. Out of bed space, however, she offers Xemnas a few pillows and, well, the floor, but he opts instead to head outside where she has a nice, covered deck, netted off so he isn’t immediately bothered by insects. There’s a padded swing couch out there, and at least for a few hours, he decompresses in the not-silence the far-off waves and the idle cricket or two provides. Looking out towards the horizon, he can see that ocean, and the stars that twinkle endlessly overhead, alongside the moon that he watches slowly creep up above the waters edge, until it’s high up in the cloudless sky. Reflecting in the water’s ripples, but it’s so calm tonight it might as well just be two moons. To himself, he mumbles, “I do miss staring at the moon, my Kingdom Hearts,” because that’s the kind of comment he’d reserve to fondly speak to his heart- but it is elsewhere, and the loneliness catches up with him, miserably staring up and back to the house where it lays. He can’t go bother Terra, he’s with his injured friend. Not to mention his heart is likely sleeping as well, it’s far past midnight. A wonder how he himself isn’t managing to sleep. Perhaps it’s that moonlight calling to him, a distant memory of that failed Kingdom Hearts he’d spent so much time and effort creating. And then, a thought to his world, so meticulously produced for him and his kin to lay in until he could save them from this callous universe. The thought of it laying in ruin now. He’d told them before, he’d let them down by ‘reforming’.

A door creaks open to the side, Xemnas’ gaze flicking towards the sound, and Sora appears in the doorway, tired but not ‘sleepy’. Wordlessly, he pads to Xemnas’ other side, where the man offers the boy a seat with a hand patting on the cushion. He plops down and stares off towards the moonlight with him.

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Sora whispers after a few minutes, almost unwilling to break the silent air about them.

“That’s fine. I suspected you wouldn’t find things very real.”

“Parts of me still don’t. But. Riku’s heart is real. Can I feel your heart?” He questions, giving Xemnas a sidelong look.

“… _My_ heart. It is so small, broken and insignificant. There’s nothing to feel.”

“Nothing can be something. Pretty sure you were very adamant about that.”

“It’s not the same. I’ve spent too long suffocating it. It’s not interested in helping me now.”

“So, you’re lonely, right? I heard you talking to yourself, before I came out.”

“…ah…. So, I’ve been keeping Ansem’s heart alongside me, you know.”

“Ansem the heartless. Or y’know. Xehanort.”

“It’s more complicated than that, but yes.” Sora nods, letting him continue. “Without it, I feel lost.”

“Do you need it? Since you said your heart, ‘Xemnas’ heart is too small.”

“….no.. I don’t ‘need’ it, maybe. I could live this life with what I have, and eventually, perhaps even before I die, it might feel that full flush of emotions again, if I let it. Which I may opt not too. It is much easier to feel nothing. But I… I find myself to ‘want’ that other heart, even after all I did to rid myself and the universe of it.”

“And Ansem is ok with that?”

“From what I can tell, this is not a one-sided agreement on my side, but he _has_ spent the last few days in a more habitable chest than mine,” Xemnas can’t help but sound a bit bitter.

“Hmnn… So… Do you think Sora will need _me_? Or, _want me_ ,” Sora’s eyes fall to the ocean again, that dark abyss- or it would be, if not for the pale moonlight that glitters brightly in its reflection.

“Well… You will have to get to know him, and he will have to get to know you. But if you really think you want to be one again, then you can make it work.”

He nods, slowly, and then more excitedly as he understands, a smile breaking his gloomy expression. “Yeah… Hey. Were you serious about me having to go back to Radiant Garden with you? Riku kinda mentioned it, once you and my mom left.”

“Depends. Can I trust you?”

“Can we trust _you_?”

“No, but we keep letting me outside anyways. So. Talk to Riku, Kairi and your mother about it. It’s their world, and outsiders like me, or Ansem the Wise, can not pass judgement for them. However, I would like if you respected their wishes about it.”

Again, Sora nods. “Another question. Why did you save me?”

“… Hmn. I promised your mother I would. I’d ruined your life and wished to see that somewhat rectified.”

“Alright. And then, _how_ did you save me?”

“That, I do not know. I do not know exactly how I saved you, just that a figment of your memory was placed in my mind, and I used it to drop into your sleeping prison. Do not ask me who put that there- if I knew, I would tell you.”

“Darn. I’d want to thank them! I guess they didn’t need the credit.”

“No, I suppose not.”

“I hope that figment of my memory wasn’t wasted on me instead of the real-.. the, the other Sora.”

“I doubt it- but even if it was? It doesn’t matter. Someone was saved. You know your heart would want it to be you rather than himself.”

“Yeah well, he can suck it, ‘cause I’d rather it be him!” Quietly, they both laugh to his eagerness for self sacrifice. “You guys gonna head out tomorrow, then?”

“Preferably. I have another situation that I have to attempt to rectify.”

“The World that Never Was, right? I guess I didn’t help much for that place not to be falling apart.”

“You surely didn’t. But I did use it to try to murder you. More than once.”

Sora nods, and shrugs. “I still feel bad, if all the nobodies have no where to go now.”

“I’ll figure it out. I’ve done it before. And, even with Ansem’s heart, I am still quite able to manipulate the magic of ‘nothing’. There’s no reason I can not rebuild their home- if I can manage to reach it without fading. It is a far walk in corridors.”

Rubbing his chin, Sora hums, “I wonder if I can open corridors. I _am_ filled with darkness. I’d never thought to try!”

“I would prefer if you didn’t. It is hard to navigate, and harder to find you if you sink beneath. Maybe if Vanitas can guide you until you learn the paths. Alternatively, you should consider falling _less_ to darkness.”

“Ah, dang, and after all that talk from you about falling to it! Hypocrite. I guess that would be smarter though, huh.”

“It might be.”

Somehow, Xemnas and Sora find themselves actually sleeping at least a few hours outside, the younger boy curling up his torso in his lap. He doesn’t even rise when Terra creeps out the door, snoring softly, but rises to the barest touch on his shoulder. Blinking in confusion, he looks up to expecting Holly, but seeing Terra instead, raises a curious brow.

“Sorry you got stuck outside,” the other man muses, looking down to Sora, “glad to see he’s calmed down.”

Rumbling out his sleepies, Xemnas shakes out his head before speaking, “so far so good. And Ventus?” Despite the jostling, Sora doesn’t rise from his slumber.

“He’s awake, but delirious. I think there’s more to the injury than it looks.”

“Well, we can head you and him back to The Land of Departure?”

“I know you guys wanted to head to Radiant Garden first.”

“The choice is yours. If we head to Radiant Garden first, Ienzo can see to that injury, as I suspect it is infected.”

“… infected?”

“With darkness.”

Terra frowns deeply to that. “I thought Kairi healed him.”

“To the best of her ability. Alternatively, Aqua is quite the healer herself, is she not?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Terra shrugs, “I.. yeah, no, she is, but.” But she’s been very tired lately.

“We’ll go to Radiant Garden. I will grab her armor, and keyblade, and you can head back and return them?”

“Oh, that’s right, you have that don’t you.”

Xemnas nods, looking down to Sora who is slowly beginning to awaken in his lap.

“Alright, that’s the plan then,” Terra nods, heading back inside, “Holly isn’t up yet, but Riku and Kairi were wondering where Sora went. I can tell them?”

“Go ahead.”

Finally, Ansem replies to Xemnas’ message, and offers to fly his ship directly to Holly’s place. When he tries to bring up the world order to his master, he receives a ‘frankly I don’t care’, and if Ansem the god damned Wise doesn’t care, Xemnas sure as hell doesn’t care. “We’ve driven a gummiship down the beachfront before, but it definitely set off some rumours…” Riku mumbles, looking over the horizon in the bare morning light as the gummi-ship appears in the sky. Hopefully it’s earlier enough in the day, the least amount of people will notice, but Holly agrees that enough strange shit has been occurring, what’s another ship in the sky.

“And you are sure you are alright with him staying here?” Xemnas questions to Riku, and then to Holly, who nods furiously. She strongly desires her son to be home for _at least_ a few weeks! “If that changes, please contact me.” Riku makes sure to steal his phone long enough to put every relevant number inside, and even some less relevant ones. He even helps set up his Kingstagram account, which he immediately uses to take the blurriest image of Riku’s legs, perfected with zero caption.

Once Ansem arrives, Xemnas thinks he enjoys the way his old master would far rather push his own rules into place, but instead, he respects the opinions of the ‘master’ of this world- which is technically, Riku. The Keyblade Master, he _very humbly_ reminds the older man of his well earned title. So, heading to Radiant Garden is Xemnas of course, Vanitas, Terra, and a very less-than-lucid Ventus.

Before they fly, Ansem lifts the teen’s shirt to inspect the strange growing bruise where claws once stuck into his skin. “I’ve seen injuries like this before, from a very specific breed of Heartless- though a shadow will do damage like this to weaker bodies.”

Both Ventus and Terra look down at him to that, but Terra questions, “so… really bad news, or?”

“Neither bad, or good. It’s repairable. However, it leads to questioning Ventus’ health, or Sora’s strength, and I’m leaning towards the latter.” Having already lost the argument that was leaving dark-Sora on Destiny Island, however, Ansem returns to his ship controls, flying up and out of orbit before the sun can rise more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter has someone losing an eye, but will also be very short and skippable, with a tl:dr on the next chapter after it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its here. TW for eye trauma. next chapter will have a TL;DR. or i guess rather a, too gross:didn't read.

“No, it’s no big deal,” Ienzo affirms for them, a hand trailing over the bruised but healed over wound, and then to the few more that rise over Ventus’ skin in different places about his ribs where Sora had left quite the mark. “Your lack of internal darkness is probably why it’s making you feel so sick.” Ventus is more cognizant now, but feels miserable, nauseated. “You might be able to just sleep it off, or we can test a few machines we used to use to siphon darkness.”

Ventus swallows roughly, pulling his shirt back down, “Test?”

“Well,” Ienzo shrugs, offering him to sit back down, “we _used_ to use them all the time. So it’s not really ‘test’, but… well, yeah, it’s testing to see if they still work. Only ever good for ‘surface’ darkness- turns out, if you try to siphon internal darkness, it tends to-…” Ienzo stops himself, staring as he recalls Ventus’ past, that he’s quite read over. He’s seen Vanitas now, too, a hypothesis the ‘apprentice’ Xehanort had brought up years and years ago.

Ventus gives him a soft, understanding smile despite the apparent mis-speak, and nervously questions instead, “Well, can I try to sleep it off first?”

“Of course, as long as you don’t think you feel too bad. It’ll take me a little while to unearth the things from the basement, anyways. Handy I have you here for that, Nexahs. Or, Xemnas. Whoever you’re being.”

Nearby, Xemnas idles with Terra, convincing the other man not to overbearingly get in the way of the scientist preening around his injured friend. He’s finding he doesn’t care about the name either way, so nods to Nexahs regardless. “You shouldn’t need me to get into the basement you need.”

“Actually, I tried recently, and it wouldn’t let me, or even Even inside. I even tried Dilan- since ‘Xaldin’ was ‘alive’ the most recently, but still no.”

Tilting his head, “That is strange. Perhaps you’re too far gone from Zexion, and it doesn’t recognize you. I can fix that.”

“That would be nice. And I’d _like to hope_ I’m far gone from Zexion,” he mutters at the end, waving a dismissive hand. “I’ll go set up a room for you to lay down in comfortably first, Ventus. If that would give you enough time to convince your security to let me in, Nexahs?”

He nods again, heading towards Ienzo’s console, which has the younger man confused. Xemnas replies to that confusion, “All the computers here are interconnected. I can contact my security program from here.”

“Ah- that makes sense, yes,” and Ienzo heads to the door, but,

The computer locks up on him. “… and yet,” he rumbles, “it does not enjoy me as Xemnas. Tron, you stop that.”

“Uwah?” Iezno heads back over, peering down at the console, “How does it not recognize me, but equally doesn’t recognize Xemnas?”

“Two different programs. My .exe, Another, does not recognize ‘Ienzo’ as a permissible to locked down data centers. Tron, the modified .exe of Ansem’s, does not recognize Xemnas as allowable into the server space. Now they’re arguing.”

“… but you’ve contacted Ansem’s servers before, _as Xemnas_.”

“Yes. Back then, I had Tron disabled. But since then, he’s been re-established. As of recent, I was able to get into files on myself, and registered to Tron as ‘Xehanort’. Seems Ansem has also done some work on his security when I broke in last.” Inconvenient.

“Pfffft, oh good. So, I suppose that means we won’t be able to convince them to work together, either.”

“No, not from here.” Slowly, Xemnas looks back to Terra, the other man having moved to stand with his injured friend. Tron knows Nexahs, or ‘Xehanort’. “…. Terra, is my heart ready for me yet?”

Having been barely paying attention, rather giving Ventus physical moral support as he sits there, Terra perks in confusion, “Uhhh…” Looking up to the roof, he ‘asks’. “… Yes, he has been since this morning. But he’s worried now there’s no keyblade wielder capable of… getting him out. And he forgot, or I think was too nervous to ask Riku.”

Dryly, “Inconvenient.” Nervous of Riku- _you baby_.

“Yeah, a little. Wait- I can’t just, take my own heart out?” Terra has a keyblade. He’s entirely able to stab himself with it.

“It’s not suggested,” Xemnas speaks almost humoured, and waits for his heart to explain the flaw in that plan.

Terra stares off in silence for a moment while he apparently ‘talks’. “… I have been told that messing that up is how Xehanort managed to misplace all his memories…so… Alright, hard never mind on that.”

Xemnas nods, looking back to the computer to see if he can’t brute force this- but between these two strong, independent programs, no headway is made. Getting into server space without Nexahs, or getting Ienzo into the secret basement without Xemnas going entirely downstairs, wasn’t going to occur.

Ventus perks up, “I mean, I took it out before, I could try again.”

Ienzo interjects, “With all due respect, Ventus, you’re not in a good position to be removing hearts, either.”

“And Vanitas guided you last time,” Xemnas adds, “and he is indisposed with Even, or likely sleeping.”

Pouting, Ventus summons his keyblade anyways, wobbling onto his legs, “I remember how he did it! It didn’t seem that hard…” Looking over to Terra, he gives his friend an asking look. Another moment of internal conversation, and Terra takes a step back, arms wide to offer him to try.

“… Ansem… is that wise….” Xemnas scolds his heart from afar, squinting.

“Who knows,” Terra shrugs, “he says it will either work, or it won’t.”

Pointing the blade tip at his chest, Ventus squints as he wavers between two points, trying hard to focus, but, “… Ahh, this is harder than last time. I feel… both, of your hearts… I can’t tell which is which,” and he sighs, plopping back down into his chair.

“Ah,” Xemnas rumbles. “A benefit to my small, weak heart. Indiscernible in a crowd.”

“It’s alright, Nexahs, Xemnas, whoever,” Ienzo interjects, “I’ll head over to set up a room for Ventus, and then after we can go downstairs and find those machines.” To make life easier for them, Terra carries Ventus despite complaints as Ienzo leads them to the dorms.

Xemnas opts to head to the common area to wait for Ienzo, hopeful to find a couch to vegetate on, on account of getting next to no sleep the night before on Holly’s deck. Unfortunately, Dilan and Aeleus are there- and strangely enough, Vanitas, who is curled up _on_ the table. Apparently gone and done with Even already, he’s wearing what appears wearing an oversized lab coat like a blanket. “Gentlemen,” Xemnas greets as he enters, committed to it now. It would be weirder if he came in, spotted them, and turned around. Not to mention, Vanitas is there, and he’d like to question that.

“Ahhh, Nexahs,” Dilan greets his entrance with a gestured hand, him and Aeleus on the couch with two dragoons littered on the ground before them, and one strewn across their laps. “Or, Xemnas, I’ve been told.”

“I’ll respond to either,” he shrugs, idling towards the table Vanitas has claimed.

“Now, don’t go attacking that boy sleeping on the table,” Aeleus immediately snarks him, arms folding over his chest.

Xemnas has the tiniest inkling to joke in him, but not enough to go through with it. “I will not. I like this boy,” he reaches out a hand to pat him, and Vanitas stirs just slightly, a dull blue eye peeking open.

“And you didn’t like Demyx?”

“… Alright, this boy does not have a heart to go find. In fact, I believe he’s _all_ heart.”

“Presumably, without a body to go find.”

“Not that I know of.”

Slowly, Vanitas uncurls himself, stretching out like a cat before re-settling slightly more upright, legs crossing as he still sits on that table. “What’s up.”

“Why are you on the table.”

Dilan answers, humoured, “I think he likes to feel tall.”

“Yeah fuck you too.”

“When he came in earlier with Even, we made the mistake of mocking the ill-fitting lab coat, so he crawled up on the table.”

Xemnas nods, giving him an experimental patting, which he doesn’t seem to mind. “Ahhh, understandable. And what did Even have to say? You weren’t with him long.”

“Nah. I don’t like being poked around at. Science-man says he thinks I _do_ have a body.”

“Oh does he?” Xemnas muses, pulling out a chair to sit down beside him, but still standing for the moment. There’s a strange instinct keeping his hackles raised and alert, but he doesn’t show it beyond remaining standing. Dilan and Aeleus listen from the couch, having heard the story from an over-excited Even some twenty minutes earlier.

“Yeah. You wanna hear the scoops.”

“Of course. I’m very curious.”

“You know how Sora’s got all those bits all over the place.”

“Yes?”

“Apparently, I stole one. It’s my body now.”

Xemnas blinks, incredulously. “And how does Even seem to think that?”

“’Cause he took a picture, and it matches scans Ansem the old man has of Sora.”

“I mean… you look very similar to him.”

“Yeah, but you know that doesn’t mean I do _inside_.”

“… This is true,” Xemnas muses, thinking to himself for a moment. “That is not a full body though.”

“Nah, it isn’t,” Vanitas shrugs, “But it’s what’s got me clinging to reality.”

“So? Replica?”

“I’m considering it. I’m not a fan of the drawbacks.”

“I do understand. I recall curing myself of that the moment I was able to.”

“Xemnas, when do I get my coat back?” Dilan calls from the couch. He’s currently still wearing it, so.

“Never, maybe. I forgot how comfortable they are,” Xemnas looks down at his arm, posing for a moment, rocking on his heels to drape the material around his legs.

Eying him dryly, “You promised you’d bring it back.”

“No, I said I would _try_ to bring it back.”

Aeleus sighs, “Later today, we will all go out shopping and buy clothes for everyone, so we can stop this clothes stealing situation- between _you_ still only having Dilan’s and _my_ pants, and the boy draped in Even’s lab coat….”

Xemnas feels that strange feeling escalating, creeping in the back of his mind, the chittering of nobodies in his ear, but one he’s not familiar with at first. -he is coming. beware, master.- The other three watch as Xemnas rouses his posture to nothing- which is nerve wracking for the other two. Slowly looking around in his confusion-Xemnas’ gaze flicks down as the three dragoons rise as well, chattering nervousness as they startle from their napping, the one on their lap crawling off to hiss at nothing.

Xemnas mumbles to himself, something he’d general say internally to his heart, “What, was that a sniper..?” Strange. Has a sniper ever spoken to them since the ‘keyblade war’?

Vanitas gives him a look deserving of a man who is mumbling to his damn self, sneering, “The fuck is a sniper-“

But they’re both interrupted by the pressure change of a corridor opening in the room, opposite to the couches. Oh! Snipers, Xigbar, he supposes- but those were words of warning? The dragoons are up on their feet now, wings flexing, which is concerning. “… Xigbar?” He speaks to the corridor curiously, and waits.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU-“ Xemnas startles to this, as do the other two on the couch, because has Xigbar ever yelled like that before, and even moreso as the other man enters the room in veritable shambles- hair undone and cast across his face, skin paler than he already was naturally. Keyblade in hand- which provides even more immediate concern from all who see it sans Vanitas- because they all distinctly remember what that blade _does._ Vanitas remembers too, he just doesn’t particularly care.

Dilan is on his feet, “Whoa- whoa, Braig, simmer,” alongside him, dragoons rise their hackles, armor shuddering in motion to attack- but then the room becomes equally full of snipers, four of them, who beg there to be no fighting. Their master is just confused and injured. Easier said than done, because Xigbar immediately starts swinging the No Name around violently, threatening all that end up anywhere near him and taking Xemnas a few clattering steps backwards into the table. Vanitas remains disinterested and cross legged on his perch, despite it jostling beneath him.

“I WILL NOT SIMMER,” he points to Xemnas, who stands there raising non combative hands, “YOU, you idiots RUINED IT,” he almost sounds drunk, sort of stumbling while he walks and occasionally itching at the side of his head with his free hand. With his attention drawn to the hand whacking that side of his face, Xemnas also notes that he’s missing the eyepatch- because, well, he _isn’t_ missing an eye. However, the eye that appears to have manifested in his head doesn’t look like his- while the one Xemnas is ‘familiar’ with is that soft brown, the other is a harsh blue, a slitted pupil, and appears to occasionally not be facing the same direction as the other. Seems like he’s been trying to itch it out of his head for a while now, because it’s bruised and red all around that side of his head.

“What- what did I ruin,” Xemnas questions back calmly but with force, slowly approaching with those hands still raised. If Xigbar does decided to flick his heart out, Xemnas is the least concerned with his health in comparison to the other three in the room; though Aeleus and Dilan have themselves behind several layers of nobody now with their dragoons and the snipers that are defying their master. Equally, Xemnas doesn’t want to turn this into a fight, because he remembers that he likes Xigbar, even if he doesn’t necessarily feel it at the moment. He looks like he’s already had the shit kicked out of him, and Xemnas doesn’t need to add to that.

“TIME,” he snaps back, bridging the distance between them in a few short steps- but he puts the keyblade down at his side, opting instead to punch Xemnas in the chest a few times with his free hand, “Between Sora and your STUPID, OLD MAN, you BROKE TIME.”

Xemnas lets this happen- Xigbar _does_ seem to be trying to put force behind his punches, but he’s too weak to be anything but inconvenient to him. “… That makes sense, yes.” They did a lot of time travel. Even Xemnas knows that his and his heart’s timelines are likely shattered from reality without them there providing the predetermined fate.

“I DON’T _CARE_ IF IT MAKES _SENSE_ ,” again, Xigbar punches at him, before swiping at the side of his own head again, on that side with the not-his-own eye, “NOW I’M HERE, AND THIS IS WRONG-“

Xemnas snags him by his self-offending wrist, and then with the other hand, grabs him by an ear to drag him close enough to inspect that foreign eye, speaking quiet, but _commanding_ , “What did you put in your head.”

Much unlike the shrilling earlier, Xigbar rasps under his breath, “ _Please get it out.”_

Eyebrows furrowing, how is he supposed to… get it out. It looks like it might be a glass eye, but since it’s occasionally moving, it’s obviously connected to something, somehow. “I… Don’t think I can…” … y’know… Just, pop out his eye.

Slowly, Aeleus pushes back the nobody entourage to approach Xigbar from behind, reaching up and around to wrap a hand around each of Xigbar’s wrists, stealing the one Xemnas was holding. Pulling his keyblade arm backwards, Aeleus presses on a nerve to encourage Xigbar to drop his blade, which he does, it clattering to the floor... Staring pitifully up to Xemnas, though, Xigbar repeats just as desperately, “please get it out.”

“Ey, let me,” Vanitas appears from the side, leaning around Xemnas while still perched on the table, and with outstretched hands, beckons Xigbar’s head forwards.

“… I don’t know if I should let you-“

“ ** _PLEASE_** _GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD_.”

“Move, baby man,” Vanitas urges again, grabbing the one of Xemnas’ wrists that holds Xigbar’s head in place by the ear until it’s close enough he can reach. Aeleus still has a good grip on him, though he also isn’t 100% about letting Vanitas do what he’s about to do, but since Xigbar isn’t complaining- rather, he’s begging this happens, he holds steady. Replacing Xemnas’ grip with his own, Vanitas holds no hesitation to jamming his thumbs into someone’s eyehole- in fact, he seems to be relishing himself in the opportunity, having already been given a jolt of energy from the emotional outburst Xigbar provided earlier.

It doesn’t take long, on account of Xemnas being correct in the fact it was a glass eye with little connection to his head- until it stops, obviously caught by a pseudo nerve. Xigbar absolutely does not enjoy that, and even Vanitas frowns to the noise of pain he produces, and with a tug and a press of his thumbnail, severs it and pulls the eye from his head. However, the tremendous pain of that immediately renders Xigbar less than conscious, which is good that Aeleus was holding onto him already.

With the eye still in Vanitas’ hand, Xemnas looks over at it curiously. Glancing between the other three in the room as well, “and we all learn a valuable lesson about putting magic eyes in our heads.”

“I knew you wanted a new eye, Braig, but honestly,” Aeleus hums at the limp man in his arms, readjusting to hold him with one arm under his armpits instead. Unfortunately for his shirt, he feels the damp warmth of blood pooling one the top of his forearm as Xigbar’s head slumps forwards “… Dilan, you should call Even, and Master Ansem.”

“I already am….” He’d called Even the moment there was even a hint of eye removal, and Ansem when the corridor appeared. Slightly too squeamish for that, Dilan had looked away for the duration of the violence, sneaking behind a dragoon while the nobodies stared curiously.

Xigbar’s not out for long, though, jolting awake and back on his feet, struggling against Aeleus’ grip while a hand slaps over to the place an eye was half a minute ago. Sputtering hoarsely, “Wuh- where, where is it,” his remaining eye flicks up to Vanitas, who still holds it between index and thumb as him and Xemnas inspect it. Weakly, Xigbar reaches for it, but Vanitas pulls it out of reach.

Giving him a curious sneering, “What’s it for?”

“It- give it, back, I need it…” Xigbar creaks, desperately, but he can’t worm his way from out of Aeleus’ arm, and Aeleus isn’t about to let the man maul Vanitas.

Holding it between his fingers, Vanitas peers at it curiously, “You didn’t need it a minute ago when I was prying it out of your head.”

“I shouldn’t have.. used it.. for myself… I _need it_...”

“So, I repeat- what is it _for_?”

“Its… it’s my master’s-“ which catches Vanitas immediately foul in his mouth, expression warping to distaste as he continues to hold it just barely out of reach.

“I’ll do you a favour, then. Haven’t you heard the good word?” Even Xemnas is tilting a head at him now, not parsing where Vanitas is going with that, a not reacting fast enough to stop him. “There are _no more masters here_ ,” slipping it into his palm, Vanitas exerts what strength he has into his hand, presuming this won’t be easy to destroy- but it absolutely disintegrates under the pressure. Shattered glass and strange fluid pouring out of his fist. “Ahh… ew.”

This pulls the spine out of Xigbar as he stares in shock to what has just occurred. Slowly, his gaze falls to the floor as he shakes, between the stress of that, and the coming blood loss- though he doesn’t loose consciousness, he does loose the ability to stand. Shifting a chair beneath him, Aeleus encourages him to sit, and once he does, his faceplants into the table with a dull thunk.

“You probably shouldn’t have destroyed that,” Xemnas hums, pulling his hand over to inspect the remaining shards- but they disappear into crystallized mist, evaporating into the air. “Though it seems it no longer belongs here.”

“Whatever, I already did it,” he flicks off his hand, nose wrinkling, “I stand by what I said.”

Sighing, “I understand your sentiment, yes.”

Muffled from the table, “You don’t understand _anything_.” Now, that’s a tone of voice Xemnas is more familiar with, apparently whatever torment that eye was providing him abating. Still salty though, and who wouldn’t be with the pain and the bleeding and apparently losing his master’s eye. Not to mention the reason he entered in a huff in the first place. Xemnas assumes this time-ruining has destroyed any backline plans Xigbar had, which is amusing to him, since it’s not like the ‘nort plans worked either. We’re all failures now, buddy.

A knock on the door before Even enters, despite it being a living area, a nervous singsong to his tone, “Knock knoooock~?”

“Who’s there!” Vanitas shouts back, for the humour of it.

And as he enters, “It’s Braig! Losing his god damned eye again! Doesn’t that make him blind, now,” Even hums, walking up to them with an armful of medical supplies. No one in this facility knows curing magic. This situation has occurred almost exactly like this before, Braig coming home with injuries to his face that only Even has the stomach and knowledge to do anything about. Grasping him by the jaw and a fistful of hair, he Gently Persuades him to sit upright- and boy has a lot of blood become out of him and down his face, and on the table. “Oh, dreadful. I didn’t think I took _that_ long to arrive.”

Weakly,  Xigbar sneers at him, “Gee, thanks.”

“How’d you manage to lose the same eye twice, hmn,” Even looks to Xemnas as he becomes out of the way, grabbing Vanitas as he moves past the table despite the teen’s complaints to just being, god damned picked up like a cat.

“He came in from a corridor with some kind of magical artifact jammed into his head,” Xemnas replies as he moves to the couch, depositing Vanitas there as he struggles being manhandled. He looks up to the snipers that cling to the side of the walls now, high to the roof and compressing themselves, but unwilling to leave, and the dragoons settle back to the floor around Dilan’s and Aeleus legs as they stand equally to the side of the situation.

“Very interesting,” Even hums, already working on Xigbar with needle related pain management before moving to stop the bleeding. He happily notices that the damage is strangely localized to a single, albeit important vein in the back, rather than the mess that is removing an actual eye, so he doesn’t move to have Xigbar laying yet. “And where is it now?”

“Vanitas destroyed it,” Xigbar rasps, nose wrinkling in distaste- he makes the mistake of trying to look to the side at them before realizing the flaw in that plan, resetting quickly to staring straight ahead. Ow.

“Whoops,” Even tsks, rolling his eyes at the boy he’s become familiar with as ‘being a pain in the ass’, “On purpose, I assume.”

“Hey, don’t complain! He _begged me_ to pry that thing out of his head, it was making him insane. Tried to attack _poor Xemnas_ with his keyblade he stole from Xehanort.”

“I didn’t _steal_ \- that is MY blade… s… sort of… it really is all mine, now…..” his posture fails him as the pain no longer keeps him afloat, and Aeleus returns to hold him up straight.

“Shhh, a minute here, just wait, I’ll be done, and you can go lay down on the couch.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TL:DR from 17:  
> Ventus has darkness burns, and wasn't able to get Nexahs' heart out. Ienzo can cleanse his wounds, but he needs machines from the basement, and Xemnas' security program won't let him inside. Xemnas goes to waste time for Ienzot o come back from setting Ventus up to sleep off his injuries, finds Dilan, Aeleus and Vanitas in the common area. Vanitas says that Even thinks he's got Sora in him, and Vanitas thinks he stolen one of Sora's shards. Suddenly, Xigbar breaks in! He is sick and injured, but immediately attempts to stab Xemnas with his keyblade. Xemnas notices he's got an eye where he didn't use to, but the eye is suspiciously blue and slit-pupiled. It also appears to be driving Xigbar insane. Vanitas pops his eye out, and when Xigbar admits it belongs to his master, Vanitas crushes the magical eye, leaving Xigbar with Crippling Depression. Even shows up to stop all of Xigbar's blood from falling out.

Since the dragoons have vacated the couch to once again loaf around the floor and the snipers are now clinging to the walls, Xigbar has a nice place to lay back and try to relax for five minutes. Once Even is done fixing up his eye, Dilan throws Xemnas a blanket, and they roll the injured man into it like a burrito, before delicately placing him sideways on the couch. Xemnas mentally notes the lack of weight beneath him, though, lending towards the way he was wobbling earlier- it’s not as if Xigbar was drunk, more rather that he doesn’t seem to have been eating, or taking care of himself in general. Sitting on the floor beside him with an arm resting over the cushion, Xemnas vacantly watches Xigbar laying dejected on the couch. He stares up at the roof, his injured eye safely bandaged and drugged away, and in a few minutes, Dilan and Aeleus would return with ice. Even is sitting at the table nearby, quietly cleaning up his things, before bringing out his phone to idle on as he watches on the chance Xigbar’s health takes a dip.

After a few minutes of silence, as Xemnas gently pats over Xigbar’s restrained arm, “This time splitting really has you upset.”

Dryly, “Yeah.” Xigbar isn’t necessarily relaxed, but exhausted. Curled up at his legs, Vanitas is relishing in his internal torment.

“Care to explain?”

“No.”

“You told me I understood nothing- could it be because you refuse to explain?”

“I am 100% certain you would’ve made it entirely worse if you knew all the details. You kept talking about fate like you understood it- or weren’t actively working against it.”

“Me? Or Xehanort.”

“What’s the difference.”

Xemnas looks a little taken aback by that, his gaze falling elsewhere. “I did not consent to being taken from my timeline.”

Sighing, Xigbar closes his eye in thought, “No- I know, I know. I told him he shouldn’t. But he didn’t have a habit of _listening_.”

“I presume then, you were somehow tracking something fated, and now that things are not aligning, we are no longer within ‘time’ as you know it.”

“Yeah.”

“So, your life is over now.”

“Yeah.”

“… Is it really?”

“What. You think ‘cause you made yourself nice and comfy here, that it’ll just work out now.”

“Will our timeline collapse because it isn’t fated by your master?”

“…I mean… maybe. Don’t know anymore.”

Xemnas shrugs, musing, “Then why fear what we can not predict or change?”

Swallowing roughly, Xigbar takes long pauses to parse his words, though Xemnas can’t blame him. “I _need_ to know where I’m heading.”

“Is that why you put that eye in your head? Did it tell you?”

He laughs, soft and pained, “Yeah. It told me everything. _All at once_.”

“…Ahhh,” Xemnas immediately comprehends the way Xigbar words that- the knowledge came too fast. Uncontrolled. No wonder it was frying his brain. “So, you know nothing.”

“Yep. And, the worlds worst headache to boot. All I figured is the time it’s seeing is not the time I am in. Then _it_ got confused too.”

“How long ago did you do this?”

“…ahh.. I don’t know, had to be a few weeks ago. Wasn’t really checkin’ the time.”

“So, shortly after you visited me last?”

“Yeah, that sounds about right. At first, I was sort of in control, went and told Demyx, Luxord somethin’. It seemed clear, but when I try to think about what it was telling me then, I got nothing.”

Eying the boy at his legs, “I regret letting Vanitas crush it.”

“I do, and I don’t. He’s right- my master? Never showed up here. I, however, slipped. I think it’s ‘cause a psychopath pulled out my heart once. Really messed up my memories.”

“…Whoops.” The door opens, and Xemnas looks up expecting to see Dilan and Aeleus, but it’s Ansem. Offering his old teacher a bow of his head as he enters, “Trouble finds us once again.”

“So I’ve heard,” as he approaches, a bag of ice in his hand, he offers it to Xemnas to find somewhere nice to tuck it against Xigbar’s head, on account of the other man’s limbs being trapped in blanket. Weakly, he looks up to Ansem, apologetically even, but relaxes back down when cool temperatures press against his head. “Braig.”

“Sorry, boss. I made a science mistake. Wanna hear the stupidest thing?” Idling beside them, Ansem leans on the couch-arm, but nods his head, as does Xemnas. Laughing a bit before he speaks, Xigbar siiiiighs, “I did it ‘cause I was desperate for advice, and the damn cheshire cat gave me the idea.”

There’s a long silence as that thought is full comprehended, before Ansem slowly places his face in his palms, sighing heavily- and Xemnas just laughs. “You _fool_!”

Weakly, but managing to be humoured about it, “I knooo _ooow_ , don’t rub it in!”

“You shouldn’t have told me if you didn’t want me to rub it in,” Xemnas rasps, incredibly amused, for Xemnas, at least.

Muffled beneath his palms, Ansem scolds him, “I should have never told you about that damned cat.”

“If it makes you feel better, I already knew about the cat.”

A curious hum, “And how did you know that? You’d never left Radiant Garden.”

Pursing his lips, Xigbar looks like he’s having an internal debate. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood to share yet.” …  a moment of pause, and slowly, Xemnas pulls up that bag of ice- “Hu- hey! Waaait wait wait ok ok, I will spill- be nice to me! I’m _injured_ ,” he whines, pathetically leaning upwards to where the cool presence left his face.

“I don’t know if I should be nice,” but he does set the bag back down, “You were threatening me with the No Name earlier.”

“I wasn’t… really gonna... Like, whatever anyways, you’re Xemnas, what would it change.”

“Nothing for the better. You’d reset me back completely empty and, likely, violent.”

“Yeeaaah, we’ll… we’ll skip that part.”

“Don’t change the subject. How had you known to other worlds?” Xemnas already knows that Xigbar was a miserable pile of secrets, but now he knows his wayward underling has no more reason to keep them.

“Buh- waaaait, I don’t…uhggg.. how about first,” Xigbar gives him the best puppy-dog eyes available- which is really hard, on account of his singular and tired looking eye. Staring back at him vacantly, Xemnas does not remove the ice, offering Xigbar the chance to ask his question first. “Why the Xemnas? Where’s An-…ssssem-…” both eyes flick to Ansem the Wise, who understands they mean the heartless, but still never enjoys the name-stealing. “… Your ~heart~?” He teases, sticking out the tip of his tongue.

“Maybe I don’t feel like explaining either.”

“Whaaaaat- he left you? After all that build up?”

“No- he didn’t- leave me,” Xemnas leans back, nose wrinkling in distaste, which is more emotion displayed than when there was literal bloodshed earlier. “We had an… accident…”

“Aww- touchy subject. Is he good, at least?”

“He’s fine, hiding in Terra.”

“…T …Terra.” Xigbar sinks into the couch, eyes falling to the roof again, and his snipers that hover above him. “… is he here?”

“Yes.”

“Oh boy.”

“Why that reaction?”

“Don’t think he’ll be a fan of me! Or maybe he’ll enjoy the fact him blasting my eye out in the first place lead me to make a horrible mistake way, way later.”

Tilting his head curiously, “Terra removed your original eye?”

“Yeah- but like, I deserved it? I was doing the dirty on him for Xehanort.”

“Ah. If you were being manipulated by Xehanort, it is probably something you could apologize for.”

“I mean, me and Xehanort were manipulating each other, but.”

“Just apologize and play nice.”

Pursing his lips, “I already told you, I ain’t here to play nice. You’re doing me a favour here-“

“And you’re going to reciprocate the favour by playing nice with Terra,” Xemnas absolutely threatens, in that cold, dead way he does- a firm reminder of his current state of being. Understanding that well, Xigbar’s lips stay pursed and silent, mulling over his options.

“You got it, chief,” he nods, knowing when and where to pick his battles.

Reaching over to pat the top of his head, Xemnas pulls some of those errant strands of hair back off his face, “You’re good at playing nice, you’ll be fine.”

“… like, I’m trying to understand how he’s anywhere near comfortable holding onto what is, almost 100%, Xehanort’s heart.”

Giving him another dry look, “He is _not_.”

He opens his mouth to retort again, but catching that cold gaze once more, it shuts- however, he does look up to Ansem, incredulously.

Unfortunately- Ansem equally agrees, loosely shrugging, “In our research, one should know well the malleability of a heart. With forgotten memories rebuilt from the etched emotions of Xehanort _and Terra,_ not to mention the own long life he had lead. Xehanort, the apprentice, spent a long 7 years with us.”

Again, he thinks to retort, but stays quiet, staring up at the roof. “I’m on too many drugs for this conversation.”

Xemnas sighs, settling back down on the floor, “I’ll wait till later to ask you again how you’ve world travelled before you knew Ansem.”

“That would be real peachy of you, boss.”

As if on cue, the door opens once more, “Xemnas? Are you good? I heard there was some commotion.” Terra peeks in his head, alone, but looking worried. Mostly, the aforementioned ‘heart’ is worried for his ‘body’.

Xigbar freezes, hiding his face so an eye just barely peeks under the blanket. Looking towards the door, Xemnas replies, “Yes, all is well. An old organization friend of mine got himself into an altercation, came to me begging for help.”

Muffled, “That is _not_ what happened.”

“That is basically what happened.”

Entering fully now, “Nexahs says a very curious ‘Xigbar’? Who’s that.” He sees them across the room, offering Even a curt wave as he heads towards Xemnas, Ansem, and the mysterious man. Oh- and Vanitas, sleeping as always across a covered man’s legs.

Patting his blanketed chest, Xemnas hums, “This man here, who is hiding from you.”

Unable to see his face, Terra raises a curious brow, “Oh? What for?”

“He was equally a lackey of Xehanort’s. I am unsure of the details, but apparently he ‘did you dirty’.”

Still muffled, “and then you blasted off my face!”

Terra blinks his confusion, trying to recall his past- and then, “….oh…you.” That’s not a comforting response, Terra visibly stifling an enraged response, but.. manages. Inhaling, holding, and exhaling. “Alright. Your friends with Nexahs, so. Alright, whatever, _for now_.”

.. Xigbar peaks out a timid eye, but then squints up at him. After a few seconds inspecting of Terra, “… Eyyy, you’re gonna wanna get that heart out sooner rather than later.”

“… How do you know about that?”

“’Cause he’s taking over your body.” Xemnas gives Xigbar a curious look, and then up to Terra. Ahhh, he nods, understanding what Xigbar means…

“…uhh…” That stripe of white bangs that hang over a dark, near black iris. It’s spreading, too, what once was one strand is joined by several others that slick back with his hair. Swallowing roughly, “he said he wasn’t _trying_ to, but.. yeah.” Xemnas had noticed this morning as well, but with no way of readily rectifying the issue, he wasn’t going to bring it up. He trusts his heart to know what he’s doing.

“Don’t matter what he’s trying,” with a sound of exertion, Xigbar tries to sit up, but wheezes in discomfort as he’s still trapped in blankets. “Free me from this hell.”

“I don’t know, it’s funny watching you fail to squirm out of a blanket,” Xemnas hums, watching this happen with a vacant expression, before he reaches over to pull an edge out from under him. Vanitas rumbles from below as his seat is being jostled, rising up enough to let Xigbar’s legs slip out from under him before curling back down on the couch.

“W… what are you sitting up for, though?” Terra asks, nervously, “Aren’t you hurt?” He sees the bandages around his head, and the excess blood they hadn’t had the effort to wipe off his chin.

Shrugging, Xigbar still struggles to sit up, but Ansem reaches over to give him a push up, “Hhff- Ask Anse- Nexahs! Ask the _heart_.” He waves a dismissive hand, and then gapes his mouth to yawn, barely rising enough energy to be alive.

-he has a keyblade. i assume he’d like to help me out.-

After a moment’s internal conversation, “… Ventus tried earlier too, but he was too injured, like you are.”

“Ahh.. no disrespect? Your kid doesn’t know shit.” Sat up now, Xigbar stretches out an arm, summoning the No Name- which has Terra startled again, because he _also_ recognizes that thing. “Ssshhh- it’s not Xehanort’s. It’s mine. He inherited it, and mis-used it, and now it’s mine again.”

“… I don’t know if that’s supposed to be comforting.”

“You can take it however you want, buddy. I’m going to do you a favour now, and I’ll hope you can take it as an _apology,”_ he eyes Xemnas for that last word, tongue blepping. Despite still being cautious, Terra hears the internal advice of Nexahs, to just let him go for it, and stands there, arms wide. Pointing the No Name at his chest, Xigbar appears to waver for a moment, before locking on target with seeming ease.

Xemnas raises from his sitting, going behind Terra and slipping hands beneath his armpits. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you don’t crack your skull on the floor.”

A quiet laugh, “That’s good. Make sure he doesn’t kill me, too.”

“Of course.”

“I _can’t believe_ you don’t _trust me_ ,” Xigbar teases, but Terra knows, _feels_ well he’s locked onto the correct heart immediately. The internal voice fades- and though it’s still very uncomfortable, Terra manages to stay on his legs, albeit with a bit of leaning back on Xemnas’ offered arms. It knocks the sense out of him, and with a shake of his head, he blinks out normal blue eyes, and brown bangs fall across his face. Wobbling there, Xemnas holds him up from behind while he finds his bearings.

They sit there for a minute while Xehanort’s old, well worn heart stays placated to the end of the No Name’s blade, shimmering faintly and looking significantly better than it had a few days prior- but still definitely the shattered, ancient remnants of a heart. Greyer than the bright pink of a healthy heart, showing its age more than anything. Ansem takes a step forwards, musing an index finger over it, “You’re a very interesting heart, wayward friend. Almost like nothing I’ve ever seen.” A faint shiver of energy in response. Don’t you put me in a jar, old man. As much as he knows he’d be a very fun science experiment now.

“Betcha only seen one other as interesting as him, huh,” Xigbar teases, staring forwards at that heart on his blade, partially because he’s focusing on not dropping the damn thing, or letting it be overtaken by a wayward heartless.

Eying down at him, Ansem hums, “You’ve seen it too- though it was quite some time ago.”

“Yeah, we’re talking about the same heart.”

Xemnas looks around Terra as he waits for the other man to get his bearings, “Which heart? I do not remember this.” What is this, information that Ansem and Braig would know, but not himself?

“It was before your time,” Xigbar shrugs, “about a year or three before Terra-nort showed up on the doorsteps. Come around here so I can give this back and you two can go on your merry way.” Terra gathers his strength to stand, nodding as he offers Xemnas around him- but now, in the face of his heart, Xemnas actually looks… timid, wringing his fingers together. “Ay- don’t get cold feet now!”

Nose wrinkling, “I’m not getting cold feet,” come now, Xemnas, it’s only been two days. Relax. Taking a step forward, Xemnas plucks the heart off the end of his keyblade, ushering it into his chest. There’s that uncomfortably flood of emotions- but it gets easier every time, better every time. The other three watch silently as Nexahs wavers on his feet, shaking out his head to try to gather his mind- but it is to no avail, his eyes rolling back as his spine follows suit. Terra is closest, but in no health himself to catch Nexahs before he falls, neither is Xigbar, and Ansem is too slow. In a flash, just barely before head hits tile floor, Vanitas appears beneath him, barely straining to hold him from behind.

Under his breath, Vanitas rasps and he hefts Nexahs’ weight over his back, “ _Useless_ , you lot,” and then lowering him to the floor.

Xigbar shrugs, an eyebrow raised in confusion as he de-summons his keyblade, “I didn’t expect him to fall. In fact, I’m not sure why he did.”

Having been barely paying attention, Even notices as Nexahs falls, and after looking between the available help, sighs and stands to help. “This place is in _shambles_ , Braig,” Even whines, heaving Nexahs corpse off the floor and towards the couch.

“This place was, and always will be in shambles,” he sighs, chin resting in his palm as he scoots over to let Even and Vanitas haul Nexahs’ onto the couch next to him. Moving to lay with his legs splayed over the cushions, Xigbar drags Nexahs up in his lap, draping the blanket over the entirety of him in order to cover his own legs. “Xemnas and ‘Xeha-Ansem’ must be having a conversation. I wouldn’t be worried about it.”

Terra finds himself wandering off to Ventus now that’s he’s extra-heart-free, while Ansem and Even stay behind to press Braig for conversation- now that he’s fully admitted to working behind the scenes elsewhere. “I should probably wait to force this conversation out of you until after Nexahs has awoken,” Ansem hums, sat in a chair from the table that Even had pulled up for himself and his master. Neither of them were floor-sitters.

“Nah- it’ll be funnier if you don’t. I can tell him later. Anyways- this was before his time! He wouldn’t know better.” Patpatting his head from under the blanket, Xigbar looks between the two other scientists, “this was between me, you two, and Dilan. I think Aeleus was a bit later… But definitely before Ienzo.”

“Yes- that very old heart. Like Xehanort’s there, they almost looked like the heart of a world- but, smaller, of course. With no attached world,” Even muses, eyes drifting to the side in thought. It was over ten years ago, and they’d hardly had the time to study it once Ansem had stolen it.

“That’s the one! “

“What about it?”

“So, waaaay back when, when the lab was maybe a quater the size- _you_ find this thing,” he points at Ansem, “on a foreign world, all locked up in magic. Drag it aaaall the way home, jam it in one of those fancy test tubes, seeing if you can get it to talk. Nothing! Ziltch, natta, nothing. Not a peep. Buuut, _Even_ , what did _poor Braig_ come and tell you,” Xigbar props his chin up on a plam, staring down at the other man with half-lidded eye.

“That was… quite some time ago,” his nose wrinkles nervously, eyes adverting as Ansem looks over to his wayward student discerningly.

“Ohhh, come on! You remember, don’t you?”

“… Braig-,” he stutters, and sighs, “Braig said he _thought_ he heard someone speaking in the same room as him and that heart.”

“.. And you _never thought to tell me_?” Ansem eyes him, a rising annoyance in his tone.

“I thought it was just- Braig being Braig! Annoying and, and aggravating! Now that you’re saying this, I feel like you’re about to make me feel more stupid than I already feel.”

“Eh, it’s fine. Don’t think you could’ve done anything to stop me, anyways. So- story goes on, one day, poof! Heart gone!”

“It was very disappointing, yes,” Ansem speaks, “Did it truly disappear, though? What did you do with it, Braig.”

Leveling a cold, singular gaze on him, Xigbar lets them stew in silence for a moment. “S’right here,” and he pats his chest.

“…. Where is Braig’s heart?”

“Oh, still right here! Unlike some people,” he pats at Nexahs from beneath the blanket again, who stirs just slightly, “I _shared_ my space, _integrated_ like a good boy. Which was handy- because when ‘Xehanort’ pulled me out, I didn’t have to race back to claim this stupid thing,” he pats his chest again, but for his ‘body’ this time, “and it kept on doing what it needed to do get _my_ job done the best it could. It thinks I’m its! God did that ever throw a wrench in things, though,” he sighs, rocking his head back and forth to rattle his thoughts, arms crossing over his chest.

“…. Well, who are ‘you’ then, very old one?”

“Ahhh…” Xigbar rasps, gaze pressing to the side. “…It doesn’t… really matter anymore… though I kinda gotta ask you for another favour.”

“I don’t know what would be in it for me, at this point.”

“Absolutely nothing. Except- it might be something. What would you like to have another pair of old-ass hearts to look at?”

(an addition):

Even isn’t completely sure what to do with this Sora looking boy they’ve plopped down into his office, other than he’s in poor health, it’s likely due to his body or lack thereof, and thus Even is their best option. Just as prickly as some Repliku’s before him, though Vanitas lets himself be manhandled a lot easier than the aforementioned, sitting there limply as Even gives him the basics of a physical. The way he eyes him when he looks over an arm, pokes sensors over his body or peers into an eye inspecting, though- it’s absolutely unnerving. Meeting eyes with him, an eyebrow raises when dull blue eyes simply stare back and blink slowly, unamused. Maybe? Maybe he truly doesn’t care.

“You are _way_ too used to being touched.” From what he’d seen of the interactions between him and Xehanort, which was not often, he is somewhat not surprised.

“Yeahuh,” he rolls out a shoulder as Even abates his inspection, “Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing in your case. You’re literally here to touch me.”

Scoffing as he turns back to his computer, “I just thought you’d be more.. trouble, I guess.”

“I’ll be more trouble if you want me to be, doc.”

As if trouble is something to be summoned, Vanitas feels something shift-step beside him, sitting up on the table alongside him. Not one to flinch, though he does look over to see the Repliku sitting there, smiling softly as Even’s back is turned to them now. Even doesn’t seem to notice either, “No- this is fine, my apologies if I’d make it seem otherwise. I am very done with troublesome patients, at this po-“ he catches himself, feels those cyan eyes staring into the back of his head, and SNAPS around- but the Repliku is gone. His face warping into a scowl- “Where did he go.”

“Where did what go,” though Vanitas’ gaze trails up to where he has gone, which is up and sitting on a nearby shelf, legs kicking out beneath him. In a dark robe, which Vanitas misses having himself. Despite living in the realm of darkness for months and or years, it was less taxing with one of those jackets.

That exasperated expression doesn’t fall from his face, as Even immediately becomes Fucked With, “You stop that!” again, he tries to look around fast enough, but the Repliku shifts just barely out of vision. Vanitas swears he sees the replica laughing- but there’s no audible sound. That’s strange.

“Wait- you’re not the Riku I know,” he hums, eyes following as he shifts around. Even can’t seem to track the movement, but Vanitas definitely can.

Shift-stepping to sit beside Vanitas again, the replica shakes his head, ‘no’.

“I don’t think he knew how to be playful,” Vanitas muses, recalling the aggressive and irritable Riku that was one of the thirteen.

Even flips around again expecting Silent to move, but he doesn’t this time, caught up looking at Vanitas’ face in the utmost curiosity. “That _isn’t_ Sora,” Even understands the confusion, waggling a finger at the Repliku’s face.

Staring back at his dull, old looking eyes, “Nope. Sorry if that’s what you’re looking for, buddy.”

Mouth forming an o, he covers it in surprise, before pressing that palm to his chest instead. Reaching up, he snags one of the spikes of his head, tugging gently, and looking back into Vanitas’ face with pursed lips. Mouthing the word, ‘really’?

“Really really. Vanitas,” he taps his own chest, well over being offended by the lack of recognition. Sora has way, way more friends than he does.

He nods, looking to Even as he frosts over, again ‘stifling’ a silent laugh with his hand. “You are a heathen- what do you even want! I am _busy_.”

He looks over towards a nearby, second table, a figure beneath it covered in a sheet. Too big to be another Repliku, but beyond that, Vanitas has no guesses. And then, after than glance, Silent gestures to Vanitas- because Sora clone! How could he not be curious about that!

“I told you- that _isn’t Sora!_ And I’m- I’m still… working on, him,” Even trails off his sentence, eying just barely over to the other, sheet covered figure. “It’s coming along, I promise.”

Placing his chin in his palms, and resting those elbows on his knees, his eyes dart to Vanitas again, and he feels like it’s a warning- “YOU BETTER-“ Even jumps out of his skin, shrilling when, hell, a second Repliku appears- but my god, this one can speak. Vanitas sees his movement before he shows up too, forgoing flinching, but there’s a chill setting into his bones, barely stifling a shiver.

“WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS,” Even continues to shrill, an icy air filling the room.

“Dunno, you made me, you ask…you.” He stares up at him, sneering, before looking back at his twin, and Vanitas beside. Eyes narrowing discerningly. “… _not_ Sora.”

“Nope.”

“Then why-“

“It’s complicated, and we were kind of doing something else before you two showed up. Ask Xemnas about it later.”

“Oh.” Nonchalantly, he scoots over to the other replica’s side, also sitting up on the table, and Vanitas gives a few scoots himself to leave room for the two. Silent presses up to his side curiously, a warm presence on his side. He’s in an old Ventus t-shirt, and shorts. Regrets are occurring.

Even’s busy hiding his face in his palms, screaming quietly. “You live now to torment me.”

Admittedly, Vanitas feels his suffering, empowered just a touch, enough to laugh quietly. “Like he said. You made them. I know I’d torment Xehanort if he let me. And I’ll probably torment Xemnas.”

“Don’t! Don’t torment anyone you little devils. I have to look over this data I collected- if you can just _sit there_ for five minutes.”

Tilting to the side, Vanitas looks between the two identical replicas- or, maybe not identical. The one that’s muted has a constantly placated expression. The other one is more fighty- but he also has one white arm Vanitas spots from his ungloved hand, and one shiny eye, compared to the second and the silent one’s two dull cyan. “I can probably waste five minutes. Neither of you I know, huh.”

“Don’t think so,” Spicy rumbles, legs kicking out beneath him.

“How many replica Riku’s did you make, old man.”

Turning back towards his desk, Even scoffs as he sits down to look over his monitors readouts, “ _Too many.”_

“Aw. For a second there, I thought you were the Riku I knew. He was pretty cool. I think he’s dead now,” Vanitas half-lids, gaze falling to the side.

They both frown, eyeing the floor. “Yeah. We’ve been looking around in the Dark World, haven’t found anyone else.”

“He didn’t appreciate the doubles anyways. You probably aren’t missing out.”

“I didn’t appreciate them at first either. Kinda gotta grow on you,” he looks to his twin, who equally looks back.

“Does he just not talk.”

“Nah.”

“Where were you two hiding during the war, huh? Ansem would’ve lost his shit with two more Riku vessels.”

“Uhh.. a caaaastle,” he stares off to the side, straining to think of it.

“Castle Oblivion?”

“Yeah, that one.”

… Squinting, Vanitas opens his mouth to retort, but holds to think a moment. “You two were trapped ‘till Aqua opened it again, weren’t you.”

Even sits up from his chair, looking back around at him. “Wait, what?” But then he nods, slowly, shrugging. “I guess that does make sense.”

“Yeah- fuck, you get lost in that place, right.”

Slowly, they both nod, having not really realized how they’d suddenly found a door out. “I mean, I would’ve rather stay, but my brother forced us both out.”

“You wanted to stay trapped in a castle your whole life.”

“It was easier in there.”

“That’s lame. My Riku would’ve never sat down for that,” Vanitas mocks him, exhaling a laugh.

“Well exCUSE me- I’m not YOUR Riku! I don’t really want to be ANY Riku.”

From his computer, having turned back around to look over his data, “Then think of a better name than Spicy!”

“Why not. I feel like I want to keep it specifically to _spite you.”_

“Spicy seems incredibly appropriate when that’s your immediate response,” Vanitas snrks.

“RIGHT,” he throws up his hands, exasperated, and Silent can’t help but laugh. “And, he’s Silent.”

“.. Yes, yes he- oh his name. That’s fair. Kinda funny how you guys are having names and really distinct personalities and shit.”

“Well why not!”

“You’re made of copied memories.”

“We WERE made of copied memories, excuse me,” he reaches around his other to shove at Vanitas, which he rasps back with a laugh, “you’re just a dumb Sora clone!”

“I am NOT a Sora clone- I am… technically, a Ventus clone….” He half-lids his eyes, nose wrinkling in distaste. “Alright, I get your sentiment. So- since we’re wasting time and I have a mote of interest in me- whose under the sheet.”

“Oh! Vexen.”

“… Even?”

“No- Vexen.”

From his chair, “It’s a replica of me- or, my nobody.”

“… Dude, my guy, you made so many fucking replicas.”

“I KNOW. IT WAS MY _THING.”_

Leaning around his brother to whisper(badly), “There was 40 of them.”

There is some, heavy blinking to that, “… f-… fourty replicas?”

“Fourty of just Vexen.”

“… why….”

“I’m _STUPID_ , that’s why! I re-purposed most of them.”

“But not that one? Is it broken?”

“Yes- not that one, and yes, it’s, he’s… Ah…. Broken is a strong word. He just.. needs some upgrades,” Even shrugs wide with one arm, gesturing loosely with a weak tone to his voice.

“He’s incredibly stupid,” Spicy chimes in, eyeing the sheet covered replica to the side. Silent gives him a shove, ‘rude’.

“Stupider than you?”

A finger pointing in his face, “I’ll kill you.”

“Well, consider my curiosity satiated. Science man, what’s your verdict.”

Slowly, Even looks back around at him, an eyebrow raised in the utmost confliction. “…ahh… Are you… sure you aren’t… Sora?”

“… Yes???” Vanitas nearly shrills back, tone incredulous.

“.. You, have some Sora in you, or at least that is what it really looks like.”

Vanitas’ expression grows vacant as he thinks that over. “…ahh.. That’s curious… Shit… those shards…” He mumbles, raising up a hand to scratch his chin with an index finger. Like Ventus said, too- blue eyes. Was is that simple of an answer?”

“From what I hear, Sora put himself in a lot of people. And like, the other way around. I wouldn’t feel too bad about it,” Spicy retorts, waving a dismissive hand about his far from remembered friend.

“That part of Sora in you might be why you’re clinging to reality,” Even shrugs, still looking over files with his chin in his palm.

“Nice,” Vanitas rasps, sneering, “Sora keeps doing me favours.”

“He’s a good kid. Too good,” the repliku sighs, shoving off his sit to pace, or perhaps pester Even. There’s still a chill set in the air, and Silent peers over as Vanitas’ gaze half-lids, and a shiver creeps up his spine. He’s shivered a few times now, but this time he doesn’t seem to be able to stifle the response. Gently grasping an arm now, Silent feels how cold he is too.

Spicy doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care, and Even definitely doesn’t notice, so Silent snaps his fingers a few times before the scientist looks up, “Huh? What, what is- ohp.”

Apparently Vanitas wears his poor health on his face, but also finally realizes his posture is fading, nearly toppling him over the side of the table, if not for Silent catching him up by an arm. Warbling with a yawn, “whoops. I’m out, apparently.”

“Shit-“ Even rises from his chair, “You are sick, that is right.” Pulling off his lab coat, he throws it over his back, though it’s a bit cold from being on his earlier. “If you two hadn’t _tormented me so_ , this wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Hey, I didn’t know not-Sora was falling apart.”

“Vanitas. And that’s why I’m here,” grabbing coat sleeves, he curls up underneath the offered fabric, pulling up his limbs and fully retreating into nap position on the table.

“Oh- no, it’s cold in here now, you can’t stay here.”

Muffled now, “I ain’t moving.”

Silent shifts off the table, reaching over to offer to grab him. Vanitas is a bit bigger than him, but he’s a tough one. “No, that’s quite alright, I can take him over to the common area, and he can curl up there until I’m done going through the rest of this,” Even gestures back to his computer, delicately scooping the covered and curled up boy in his arms. “Please don’t play with Vexen too much- he’ll wake up, but he’s still going to be confused.”

Silent nods, looking back with concerned to his covered friend, and Spicy nearby who looks like he was about to poke. A sharp look from his brother has his balking, though, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a few good steps back.


	19. Chapter 19

Nexahs awakens some hours later in his bedroom, eyes opening blearily to stare up at the familiar, grey roof. No recollection of how he’d gotten there and barely registering what had happened the few days before, but comfortably in his underwear and wrapped up in a blanket. Sora? Vanitas…. Demyx-, Edym…. Ah yes, there he goes, casually perusing through Xemnas’ memories, taking them in chronologically and folding them neatly in place in his mind. And then, in similar time, he goes through ‘Ansem’s, which is much harder on account of the visuals coming through like looking through a hazy tube- and hearing through it, as well. Unsurprising for the memories of a heart sat sideways in the wrong body. That is, until the vision blinks focused, and he sees Aqua timidly looking up beside him in clear image. “You… Slipped into Terra, I see,” Nexahs shrugs, only mildly annoyed by that, and waltzes through the memory of speaking with Aqua until he hits the point where… Looking down at his hand, fingers flex, seeing if it will still come to his call without Terra’s body, and sure enough… a glittering light, and the Rainfell appears in his grasp. “…Why did she give this to me?” Because she had, technically, given it before? Because his heart spilled the beans that Xemnas had fawned over it and her armour often, his wayward etched feeling of Terra occupying swathes of Xemnas’ mind? Oh- the armor! He needs to get that- get up, and go to the basement, and get her armor, not the mention to let Ienzo into the basement. Here’s hoping Ventus has been doing well in his apparent absence of help, and his heart gives him that pang of regret he’d fallen asleep, that uncomfortably comforting feeling of _care._

To his benefit, someone has once again left him with clothes- but this time they don’t seem to be stolen hand-me-downs, but an outfit someone has picked out or made for him. It looks familiar- but he can’t put a finger on why; a sleeveless, black shirt, with accents of red and gold. More akin to Ansem, he thinks, than Xemnas- but then a correction, it’s most akin to Xehanort. Either way, its comfortable, and now he can give Dilan his coat back later. Heading downstairs, Nexahs shoots Ienzo a quick message with his phone to meet him at the console to his hidden, basement door, but when he attempts to re-open it today, it goes… no where. Ienzo finds him staring at the console in the utmost confusion, head tilted in bemused wonder as a hand rubs worry beneath his jaw.

“That’s not a comforting look,” the younger man sighs as he approaches from behind.

Tilting back to him as he approaches, Nexahs offers Ienzo a curt nod of his head in greeting, “Hmnn, no. This is fairly vexing. I was into these systems but recently, and now, it refuses me. Perhaps my, or rather Xemnas’ systems have unfortunately annexed the previous.” He can tell Tron is still in there, but Another is making itself a pain. Throwing some kind of fit. Nexahs can guess it’s related to the fall of the World that Never Was.

“That’s not good. I haven’t been having any issues accessing the data from _my_ drives,” but those are guarded by Tron, so that isn’t surprising to hear. Ienzo comes up to his side, scooting Nexahs out of the way to see if he can’t prod his way in- but alas, Another gives him similar levels of sass. Refusal of service into Organization 13 defined areas. “But it let you in before, recently?”

“Yes,” Nexahs rubs the bridge of his nose, eyes half-lidding in thought as a soft sigh escapes his throat. “Admittedly, I’ve been feeling a lot… ‘better’.” Maybe he truly no longer registers any part ‘Xemnas’? In tune with his heart.

Looking up at him with a soft expression, Ienzo takes a moment to stare “You... look better, honestly.”

And back down at his younger friend, his right eye still that foreboding amber while the other a dull, dark grey, but both lack the look of that overarching exhaustion from existence as he’d been wearing for weeks before. “Do I?”

“You don’t look so.. tired. I do wonder what’s with your eye still,” Ienzo raises an inspective hand towards Nexahs’ face, and in turn, he offers him a fold in his posture, just to be slightly more at eye level. He hasn’t looked at his own visage recently, but isn’t surprised with what Ienzo tells him. A thumb brushes beneath his amber eye, the lower lid flinching barely.  

“S’cuz ‘Xemnas’ always had gold eyes,” a familiar voice perks Nexahs’ attention as he waltzes down the hall towards them- Xigbar, up on his feet and walking around. Apparently, he’s already made himself comfortable around here, because he’s out of his black coat, and into somewhat civilian clothes, but his hair is still cast loose across his back and shoulders, alongside the bandages still wrapped around his head. Though he tries to hide it, Nexahs can tell he’s still in poor health.

Nexahs gives him a curious, worried look, standing more upright again. As he’s suspected, he now feels quite terrible about Xigbar’s demise. However, “I’m not Xemnas.”

“You are, a _little,”_ he waggles a finger at him, giving Ienzo a greeting nod, “Well, _half,_ honestly. Me, Even and Ansem already talked about this when you’re were having your little nap~,” he hums, reaching over to tug a pointed ear for posterity. Again, Xemnas- and his heartless, they both had their pointed ears during ‘their’ existences. Was it really that simple? Did his existence simply display as what it knew? “Did you two have a good talk while you were sleepy?”

“… Ahh, maybe.” He doesn’t remember a talk, or, maybe remembers the ‘feeling’ of a talk. Ultimately, “I feel ‘better’. Except now, my program won’t let me into my own rooms. Half my own rooms,” he exhales a laugh, turning back towards the console with a sigh as he taps an index finger uselessly against the side of the console.

Xigbar leans around him on his heels, not wanting to push either of the two scientists out of his way, but equally wanting to see the issue, “Ha! That’s the problem with keeping your locked doors doubled down with those copied programs of yours. Can’t even just cheat with a keyblade.”

“Not even with yours?” Nexahs raises an eyebrow as Xigbar’s inspection, and even deigns to move out of the way to see if he pings the console ‘Xigbar’ enough to trick it into functioning for him- but alas, apparently, he’s even less Xigbar than Nexahs was Xemnas.

“Don’t think so,” even so, Xigbar leans forwards to tap a few keys. Nope, natta. Go away you weird amalgamates.

“Well… If it keeps being a problem, we can always ask Tron for help,” Ienzo interjects, slipping his phone out of his pocket to shoot a few messages off. “I hear Sora once literally uploaded himself and his friends to the data-scape to somehow... Physically, stop the wayward MCP from destroying the city.”

Slowly blinking, Nexahs looks down at him to this information, “Is.. that what he did? I don’t think I’m terribly interested in becoming data to fist fight my own program, for technically doing its job.”

“Admittedly,” he looks up from his phone, “Ventus is doing much better now just on his own, so I don’t think it’s necessarily _required_ to be down there.” He was on his phone to tell Terra and Ventus that things weren’t working out, and there’s a quick enough reply that Ventus is doing fine without. A very resilient boy.

“Actually…. I do have something down there I need to return, from the Chamber of Repose.” Xigbar leans in expectantly, because he’s been _curious_ about that basement for quite some time now, but he’s about to be let down. Raising an eyebrow at that, “Aqua’s old armor. I hoarded it there alongside her old keyblade to see if I could convince her to talk with me.”

“…Well that was a boring end to a long mystery! Bet she’s looking forwards to getting her own keyblade back, though,” Xigbar siiiiighs, dramatically, as he leans back away from the console with arms behind his head. He’s familiar with the feeling of missing his keyblade.

“…Actually,” Nexahs hums to himself, flexing out his fingers until the Rainfell appears in his grasp.

Xigbar stands there and stares in wide eyed silence as that mulls over in his head, before exclaiming, “Could you do that the _WHOLE TIME_?” Because if this bitch had the Rainfell at his disposal for years….

Stifling a laugh, Nexahs shakes his head ‘no’ as he replies, “No, this happened within the last week- although I could not tell you _why_ it was gifted to me.”

Rubbing his face, Xigbar finds himself with the driest of laughter, and understanding, “Well, you _are_ destined to be a keyblade wielder. It’s in your blood. Like, twice. Suppose she’s using that other one, now.”

“So I have heard. We’ll see if I still instinctively know how to use it from the memory of my gathered and stolen parts,” though for now, it dissipates back into the void. As they said, they can’t unlock the sentient programs that run this machine, unless they go in physically, and ‘unlock’ the program by murdering it. And he likes Another! It’s just doing its job.

Suddenly, and without apparent cause, the computer unlocks before him. Not for Nexahs though, no, nor Xigbar or Ienzo. The screen displays a request, “… Vexen?” He cranes his neck to look around- because he swears that Ienzo said it wouldn’t work for Even earlier either, and alongside Ienzo looks too, because he KNOWS it wouldn’t work for Even- and peering out a doorway down the hallway, is… Even? In a black coat- and when he’s spotted, his nose wrinkles in the utmost distaste, hissing at the three of them from a distance.

Nexahs gets to remain _extremely confused_ , while Xigbar portals his hand across the floor to snag him by an arm, which the captured shrills to. Xigbar, looking to Nexahs, “Hey, wanna go grab that thing?”

Ienzo is already on his way over with a sigh, but Nexahs just raises an eyebrow to Xigbar, questioning, “… That ‘thing’?”

“It’s a replica. It ain’t supposed to be walking around, it’s broken.”

“… A Vexen replica?-“ A thought, it’s managing to ping Another as actually Vexen, but who knows how long that will last, “Wait- wait, can you bring him here?”

“I WILL DO NO SUCH THING, _TRAITORS_ ,” the ‘Vexlica’ continues screeching, violently pulling against Xigbar’s grip, but the other man is quite firmly attached to his jacket sleeve.

Being scolded at by his ‘underling’ as ‘Xemnas’, he turns up an annoyed tone to his voice, “ _Traitor_? I am your _superior_ ,” he rumbles, seeing if he can’t frighten the replica into submission.

“No you are NOT- You are a fraud!” Ienzo attempts to make a grab at him- but this replica isn’t lacking in strength, and when an icy haze fills the air around him, the younger man backs away with his hands held non-combatively to his sides.

“Cool down now, hotshot,” Xigbar laughs, releasing him momentarily, but he disappears in a flash to beside him instead, taking that moment he’s distracted by Ienzo to catch him before he can skitter off. Adeptly, he snags him into a headlock, tight around his neck, “What about me, hm? Am _I_ a fraud?” Xigbar still looks and acts much like his nobody self.

Vexlica flinches at the sudden appearance, and continues to shrill as he’s caught, but when Xigbar nearly purrs down to him, he sneers up, looking Xigbar over and his fairly dishevelled states. “…No, you’re just a _fool.”_

Xigbar too quickly forgets how injured he actually is, and when the replica starts to super-cool himself, he can’t help but release with a pained grunt. However, there is one man remaining who is at his _prime,_ and in a similar flash, a void of nothing energy trailing behind him, Nexahs snags the replica by his coat front, lifting him off the ground as they both float there.

His verbal warning might not have frightened Vexlica, but being faced to face with him, nose to nose with those sharp, duo toned eyes, the replica balks, raising shaky hands to the wrists caught at his front, “W-wuh, _wait,_ ” he sputters, “I’m, I’m so _rry_ , p-please put me, down.”

Nexahs isn’t expecting to feel so pitiful at how quick and desperate that change in demeanor is, and it sinks in how ‘Xemnas’ was, _is_ petrifying to be around. With a softened expression, he sets the two of them back to the floor, rumbling, “I’m sorry.”

Ienzo steps forwards again, now that he is fairly subdued, “Apologies- I know this Replica, the Rikus’ you brought home also brought him back a few days ago while you were gone.”

“Not getting used to his new surroundings, hmn?,” Nexahs looks around him to Ienzo, and Xigbar who is dusting the frost off his front.

Xigbar laughs, waving a dismissive hand as he speaks, “The damn thing _isn’t_ supposed to be up, he has like a… what was it, 12-hour memory?”

“Around that,” Ienzo nods, looking up at him sadly; Vexlica looks down at him with unsure fear, as Nexahs still has him gripped by the front.

“Inconvenient. Another seems to think he’s Vexen, and I would like to take advantage of this.”

Quietly, “I _am_ Vexen…”

“Sure you are, honey,” Xigbar teases.

“And how did you make friends with the replica Rikus’, hmn,” Nexahs looks back to him, trying his best not to look frightening, despite not letting go of his coat.

Sneering, “I am not _friend_ with any ‘Riku’, or even know _who that is_.” Well, that puts this replica on a timeline. One of the first, Nexahs assumes. Explains the memory error.

However, like his ears were burning, an aforementioned repliku appears in a shadow-step beside them, hands on his hips and peering up at Vexlica like a scolding mother. Wordlessly, though, and Nexahs knows which one this is.

“Oh, hello,” he looks down to Silent, momentarily changing the subject, “I needed your help some three days ago, to find you visited two days ago instead.”

He blinks up at Nexahs now, unknowing to the shenanigans he’s been up to. An apologetic look growing on his face- he would’ve helped if he had known, but as he looks towards his friend, gesturing towards him to reclaim attention, Silent sort of had other problems to deal with.

“You don’t remember this boy at all?” Nexahs questions him, looking between them.

“What?” Vexlica looks down, still sneering, his mind giving him no recollection, but as Silent looks up at him softly, patiently….

“Look with your heart,” Ienzo hums.

“I-…ah…. Oh,” he ducks his head down low, pulling from Nexahs grasp, and he releases him as Vexlica reaches to cup the underside of Silent’s jaw, “Ahh…my…. My friend… yes.”

Very satisfied with that response, Silent wraps his hands under the others softly rubbing over his cheeks, nodding happily.

“Silent, I know your friend is a little spacey, but I need his help with something,” Nexahs interjects, glancing back to his console.

Like snapping back to reality, the replica immediate pulls back, “I would _never_ help you, you fake, _traitors_ -“

It takes every ounce of him not to once again pull him out of the air, but instead, Silent snags Vexlica by a wrist- and even though outwardly it appears he would enjoy freezing his arm right off, he makes no effort to escape his grasp. Looking back up to Nexahs, Silent smiles, ‘where too!’

With a nod of his head, Nexahs heads back towards the console, “Could you two stay here?” he stops Ienzo and Xigbar before they follow- not wanting to risk spooking the replica more, but also, he catches Xigbar hiding pain in his eye, rubbing unconsciously over his ribs. Ienzo is sharp to notice too, and though Xigbar would rather watch them bicker, he’s at the whim of the shorter man to be shuffled away quietly.

As they stand before the console, again, it asks for Vexen’s passwords. “If you’re so real, why won’t it accept _your_ information, Xemnas.”

“I’m not Xemnas,” he deigns not to lie, “I am remade. However, the World that Never Was is, perhaps, in a state of complete disrepair. You are the only remaining Organization Member.” Well, he deigns not to completely lie.

Vexlica looks absolutely flabbergasted by this, limbs recoiling in horror, “My work! _Our work_ …. Is it… all gone?”

“Unless you can manage to convince Another to work with you, yes, it will be.”

Spurred by his desire to hold together ‘his’ research, Vexlica pushes forwards to key in his old information- logins that have been changed since his original memory banks were installed, but out of desperation, the program does take the old passcodes, and with a rumble, the doors unlock, shuddering open the long since disused door. “There, are you happy?!”

“I am more pleased than I was before.”

“That’s how I _know_ you’re not Xemnas,” he hisses in return, moving to tug himself away, but still caught up by Silent on his sleeve. Quietly, “Will you save my research, though?”

“Of course I will, Vexen.” I mean, he already has. Even already has copies of all his old research available to him at any time- and is no doubt using it to repair his wayward copy. “I’m worried I may need your help again, however. If I do manage to travel to the World that Never Was, and hope to repair it. By the time I know for sure, however, you’ll have likely forgotten, if what Xigbar said was true.”

“What? Forget- do you take me for a fool?” he huffs back at him, but Silent just ‘laughs’, exasperated, and nodding back up to Nexahs. Where his friend will most definitely forget, he will not, and may even mention it to Even.

\---

Aqua’s armor is dusty, but still there, and unsurprisingly, the Rainfell is not, though it’s left a shadow of dust around where it laid some days ago. Nexahs gathers the pieces and hauls it back upstairs, and though he isn’t expecting to find Terra on his way up, he delights in being able to show him how he’s kept his friends armor so.

“Wow, I mean, it’s a little scuffed up from our battle with Xehanort all those years ago, but it’s in remarkably good shape. I thought you said you did ‘science’ on it?”

“I mean, I did,” he props it up on a chair, helmet placed upon the table in the living area he’s become familiar with. No sign of the bloodshed from yesterday, or anyone else for that matter. “But it was also very important to keep it intact.” Who knows if that was because he was attached to it, or didn’t want to break it and having it be unreplicatable later.

“She’ll be happy to have it back, I’m sure. Hey, since you know how these things work, I was kinda wondering if you could give Ventus’ a look over, too. He’s got the primary shoulder pad, but it doesn’t seem to want to fold out into his armor.”

“I could definitely do this for you. Though first, I wanted to ask you a favour, though, as much as you’ve been doing me many favours as of late,” but Terra nods anyways, “You said you can travel in ‘smaller’ holes of space, yes? Secret corridors in the void- not the darkness?”

“Uhh… yeah, you could say that.”

“I’m trying to find my world, that I’d stuffed into a small pocket of space-time, away from light and dark, though closer to the darkness than the light, if that makes sense.” Terra nods, even though he doesn’t… completely understand. “Getting there by gummiship is a nigh impossible task. We used to travel there by corridor, of course. Sora broke in once through a backdoor hole in a computer program made by Ansem.” Oh, now Terra really doesn’t understand, an eyebrow raised to that last part. “Either way- not accessible to me. I was hoping you might help me poke around space to see if I can find another hole we can fit in.”

“… I mean, yeah, probably I can? But that doesn’t help you out, if you can’t fly with me.”

“Actually- I do have armor. I never had a keyblade, so I could not transport myself- but now, I do.”

“You….do? That one that… Braig, has?”

“No, I suppose you wouldn’t remember this…” Since it was Ansem, not him. “Aqua has gifted me her old keyblade. I feel you might be able to teach me to fly with it, if I had my armor, and we could travel that way, through those smaller openings in space.”

There’s a long silent pause as Terra blinks to that information. “….W…. when did she do this?” He didn’t recall Aqua having the Rainfell back- she’d been using the Master’s Protector, once she had attempted to call her own keyblade back, but it never roused to her calling.

“Two days ago, when my heart was occupying your body. He’d accidentally hijacked your body for a few hours in the night.”

“… I hate that I don’t remember this… And Aqua didn’t tell me either,” he rumbles at the end, gaze listing off to the side.

“I presume to keep you from worrying. From what I can tell, it was of no detriment to you, and he treated the situation very cautious and to Aqua’s whim. He’d called her keyblade to him, and then she left it in my hands. I’m sorry if this is worse news than I expected?” Nexahs doesn’t understand his irritation, looking over with a head tucked in and apologetic eyes.

Seeing him so, to Terra at least, uncharacteristically emotive, Terra balks, expression softening. “N-, no, it’s no problem. I trust Aqua to know what she’s doing.”

“Have you spoken with her yet about her over responsibility?”

“Ah….no, I haven’t… really had the time.”

“I suppose not. Don’t forget. I don’t know why she gifted me the blade either, so you could ask. I wasn’t about to turn a gift such as this away. Xigbar equally said it was, perhaps, in my blood to wield.”

Stifling a snrk, “If Xehanort was, then yeah, I guess you are.”

“I’m also somewhat part you.”

“Ohhh, so you should be stealing my blade, huh…”

“Not stealing, but,” Nexahs smiles, just barely. “Back to the moment, though. You would take me on this exploration?”

“Sure. I need to get out more anyways. As long as you’ll try to help us fix Ventus’ armor too, because if it’s just me and Aqua flying around, he’ll get sad.”

“That’s fair. I need to head outside to obtain my armor- would you walk with me?”

Head outside? Terra questions silently, but, “Okay, lets walk.”

As they travel down the halls, a short jaunt to the outside and towards the open, vacant field beside the castle, “I assume that means Ventus is doing well?”

“He was still a little bit rough, but I came to find you because Ienzo went and found him, with one of those machines you were talking about, and I had to vacate so I didn’t… Be irrational, you know.”

Nexahs nods, exhaling a laugh, “I understand. It seems very frightening, but he is in no better hands. I am unsure if even I would know better than Ienzo at this point.” About this particular situation, at least.

“Oh, I’m sure. And we were talking it over, but. Then Braig, or, what was it, Xigbar showed up, lingering around…. Are you sure he’s… good?” Terra looks sidelong to him, nose wrinkled in distaste.

Sighing, “No, I am not sure Xigbar is ‘good’, but I do know he’s lost.”

Exhaling a laugh, Terra rubs under his jaw, “Have you seen his friends yet?”

Tilting a head, “Friends?”

“He has these two friends- keyblade wielders. Eerie folks, in animal masks. They’re… really not chatty, watched them speak with him and Ansem for a minute before wandering off with Ansem towards the city.”

Raising an eyebrow, “I have no idea, apologies. I’ll have to ask him later, I suppose.” Old friends, Nexahs assumes? Old, old old friends. Friends of ‘him’, and not ‘Xigbar’. “I’m sorry I can’t give you a good gauge of whether to trust them, either.”

“Ansem seemed eager to walk with them, but they didn’t seem to like me much.”

“As keyblade wielders, you think they would enjoy company.”

“That’s what I thought! But I’m okay keeping my distance too, if that’s what they want.”

As they head towards the massive, open field behind the castle, Nexahs looks up at the sky, the sunlight barely obscured by clouds still causing his golden eye to squint shut uncomfortably. “I should… tell Ansem before I do this.”

Terra stands alongside him, looking over the barren terrain with his hands on his hips. “Do what? I mean, I was a little confused about how being outside was going to get your armor, but then I assumed you were going to get one of your nobodies to bring it to you.”

“That is not. Incorrect,” Nexahs pulls his phone from his pocket, hoping his old teacher wouldn’t be too busy with his strangers to answer to phone. To his credit, a few rings and there he is, the screen flicking on so they might even look at each other while they speak.

“Nexahs? You’re up- and you’re looking spry,” he looks quite pleased to see Nexahs in surprisingly good health.

“Yes, thank you, I am. I am outside, and I’m about to do something the normal people might find startling.”

“…why?”

“I need my armor back from a nobody of mine. The big one.”

Squinting down at the screen, Ansem’s eyebrows furrow when he thinks about it, and then remembers. “… Well, I assume you’re going to do it anyways, even if I’d suggest otherwise.”

“The sooner I get it back, the sooner I can travel with Terra into space looking for the spaces in-between, to reach the World that Never Was, to either dismantle to repair it, to get the nobodies once again under control.”

“Very well. I will tell who I can that there is no threat, but if you or it become violenced, you will have to figure it out preferably less violently.”

“Can do,” he nods, and then hangs up, casting his eyes skyward again. Terra follows suit, head cocked to the side as he… well, waits, for whatever this is.

A cacophony of voices in his head as he travels mentally through the masses of nobody to rouse the sleeping beast- and it replies so earnestly, so ‘excitedly’, that the voice booms into Terra’s head as well, the man flinching from the multi-toned strain-

- ** _M A S T E R._** -

The sky ripples apart when the nothing void peels itself into existence, thorns spilling across the clouds- and no part of Nexahs’ earlier statements made it seem like he was about to summon a god damned, hundreds foot dragon into, barely not the city. At least, it seems wholly occupied with nose-diving directly into them rather than anywhere else, minding its wings and tail as to not knock the limbs into the castle and cliff faces nearby. Wait- nose diving; Nexahs doesn’t flinch when that massive head approaches, simply holding his hands up in acceptance of it. Terra, however, doesn’t want to be squished, and bounces his ass away, “ _Nexahs_ \- why are you just _standing there-!“_

But before he can finish that statement, it slams face first into the ground with a mighty rumbling, caving in the dirt beneath and cratering the ground. Barely managing to stay on his feet, Nexahs opts to float while the Bahamut crashes down, and now that its face is leveled with the ground, crawling up into its skull is no journey. “You want to see?” he calls over to Terra on a nearby cliff he’d jumped too, gesturing for him to join him up on the half-buried head he’s now perched upon.

Reluctantly, he joins him, as the massive nobody shudders to a stop on the ground, unmoving. This is where it sleeps, now, because it _was_ flying through space, but that was just too much work. “The hell is this thing…” Terra exclaims, hoping up its head and into its ‘skull’, a room full of weapons decorated about its walls.

“My Bahamut…. It has done a very good job,” Nexahs leans down, giving the ‘floor’ of its skull a patting. Across from them, on a throne, his dilapidated armor sits, surrounded by weaponry. “.. It’s looking a lot worse than Aqua’s was, but Sora did nearly kill me in it.”

“You deserved it,” Terra walks over with him to it, dented and rusting, but definitely still armor.

“It will be better to have and repair than to start anew,” he shrugs, leaning around to unplug it from its seat and the scarf that wraps about the room haphazardly, but as Nexahs attempts to haul it over a shoulder, he finds he feels particularly… watched. Abruptly, he looks over his shoulder, and in turn so does Terra, until over the lip of the ‘skull’ wall, they spot an imposing figure standing with keyblade drawn. An eerie fellow, with an animal mask, a horse- or rather, a unicorn, with the horn atop his head. Dressed more like some ancient magician than someone of their time, Nexahs thinks. He doesn’t look like he’s necessarily being hostile, but guarding; Terra, however, already unwilling to trust friends of Braig’s, summons the Earthshaker with a low, aggressive posture.

“Hold…” Nexahs rumbles to him, reaching out an arm to pull ahead of him, but before either can interact,

“HOLD UP-“ a familiar cry, Xigbar, and a moment later he pops up over the side wall, heaving in strain as he struggles to lift his weight, “STOP… OUTPACING ME…”

The unicorn immediately drops his stoicism, offering Xigbar a hand up and heaving him to standing, “Oh, I was just watching. Is this your friend?”

Still wheezing, but Xigbar is standing now, clutching his side, “Uhgg- yes, that’s, that’s the guy. Nexahs, what are you doing!”

He stands there a long, silent moment, before propping up his armor over his shoulder, gesturing one of its limp arms, “Getting my armor.” Well, and, albeit accidentally, parking his dragon.

… gesturing with both his hands, Xigbar’s shrill even startles his stoic friend, “…Why!”

“I need to travel to the World that Never Was. Actually- can you still travel corridors? I see you’re out of jacket.”

“I… I mean yeah, but I still _have_ my jacket. And I can.. get there. But I can’t take you,” slowly, he crawls down the side and into the skull, but he’s not making good headway past his physical endurance, and his friend snags him up his shoulders to carry him down. Xigbar walks it off like a champ, though, approaching them now, while the other man stays a few paces behind. Neither him or Terra have lost their weapons, and Nexahs can feel the staring contest.

“No, I know you can’t. But I was wondering if you could take that Vexen replica. I have a suspicion I will need him to get places I’ll require to restart the world.”

“You think you can do it, huh? I’ve been to see it- it’s really… really rough! Nobody is left…er. I mean, no one is left. All the nobodies have left!”

“Its remnants will be easier to restart than to start anew. At least, this is what I’m hoping.”

“You’ll just go to the core and give it a juicy top-up, huh? I saw you earlier today, when you charged that Vexen, you were _teeming_ with energy. You might actually do it!”

“So? Will you help? I won’t know if I need you until I get there.”

“I got a phone now, you can give me a shout. I’m not doing anything else now!”

“Are you just going to be staying here?”

“For now! Trying to set up my friends here with somewhere to stay now that I’ve trapped them in the _doomed timeline_.”

“Oh,” Nexahs leans over to look at the unicorn man, “My condolences.”

“I still don’t know what you mean by that, Luxu.”

Eyes snap back to Xigbar, “Luxu?”

“SSssHHHSHHH-“ he whaps his hand over Nexahs’ mouth, receiving a dry look for his efforts, and then sighs, “Not anymore! But I can’t hold it against him to call me what he knows me by.”

“Oh, oops…. Uh, sorry… what was it?”

“Xigbar, Ira. You can call me Xigbar.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well that's sad

Ansem isn’t a fan of the Bahumut being parked on his lawn now, but Nexahs promises once the World that Never Was is re-‘existed’, he would convince the giant nobody to move itself home once again. To its credit, it is more like a statue than the other nobodies that overpopulate the world, worlds even. Receiving more and more updates from the other worlds being checked upon by their known contacts and travellers, the nobodies have gotten themselves _everywhere_ , but they don’t seem to be getting into any terrible trouble, give or take a few arguments with the more aggressive. Unfortunately, one world carries the burden of them the ‘worst’, and Traverse Town has become uncomfortably crowded, but their contact there mentions a strange, ‘lost’ individual seems to be wrangling them well enough that the fighting is kept to a minimum, and when it isn’t, they send the impertinent individuals to either the graveyard, or destruction from the tip of dual welded swords.

“Ventus, can you take Aqua’s armor back to her?”

Eyebrows furrowed, the younger boys looks up in worry to his friend, “and let you go to a destroyed world without me?” He bunches his fists to the sides of him, remembering too well the last time he’d let Terra off on his own.

Nexahs replies from a nearby workbench where he has Ventus’ armor case out, poking it with red energy tools to see if he can’t get the thing working again. Ultimately, however, he sighs to the uncooperative metal, “I don’t think I will be repairing your armor in time that you could join us, unfortunately.”

“Sorry, bud,” Terra frowns, reaching down and ruffling his hair, “I’m not trying to ditch you, but…”

“But, time is of the essence,” Nexahs interjects, looking over his shoulder with a singular amber eye. It’s already been three days since they had returned to Radiant Garden, and as more reports come in from his wayward nobodies causing trouble, the more Nexahs would like to be heading out. He’d given fixing Ventus’ armor a valiant attempt, but something is critically wrong with it— almost as if the primary pieces of it were non-existent, long since destroyed, even if Ventus doesn’t recall why that would be.

“Yeah, I know… “ He sighs, dejected, but accepting of his fate. “I probably have the hang of flying a gummiship now, at least. I can make it back to the Land of Departure.”

“I’ll get your armor working again one day soon, Ventus, even if it means I’m rebuilding it from scratch,” though he still turns around to tinker with it despite saying repairing it wasn’t happening anytime soon.

“Well, whatever I did to break it, I hope it was worth it.”

Xemnas’ armor is in better straits than Ventus’, at least, and it’s in functioning order quickly. Sat propped up in a chair nearby, Xigbar plays with a limp arm as he watches the other three converse and repair. Him and Terra still aren’t exactly seeing eye to eye and in turn it makes Ventus wary, but to Xemnas’ warning some days earlier, Xigbar is playing a very safe, submissive game. “You know,” Xigbar breaks into the conversation, “I always wondered how Xemnas ended up with Xehanort’s armor, rather than, you know… Xehanort’s heart.” You know, since Xemnas was sort of _Terra’s_ body.

Shrugging, Nexahs turns back around to eyeball his armor being manhandled, “I mean, in all technicality, that isn’t ‘Xehanort’s armor either, I just built it from subconscious memory, and it resembled and functioned like his old armor readily.”

“But why’d you remember so much what his armor was like?”

“I don’t have an answer for that,” he hums, “Perhaps, ‘Ansem’ was too busy not even wearing a shirt, let alone having the time for armor,” Nexahs laughs at, himself, honestly. He’s feeling less like his segmented self from before, but not enough that his heart doesn’t whisper a ‘rude’ in the back of his mind. Subconsciously, he reaches a hand to press a worried rub over the hollow of his chest that heart rests in. “It’s likely his infatuation with Aqua’s given armor caused Xemnas to pursue having some of his own, and he designed what he, technically, already knew. He could not design ‘Terra’s armor- for it was still wandering lost in the keyblade graveyard, and perhaps Xemnas ‘knew’ that.”

Terra huffs to that, remembering unfondly that distant part of himself, having since reclaimed his armor from its ten years of defeated solitude. Occasionally, as he wears it, the armor still has a ‘mind’, or ‘will’ of its own, and he hopes he can tame it enough that it doesn’t rise at the sight of Xehanort later.

“Fair enough,” Xigbar shrugs, setting the arm back down and shoving hands in pockets as he waltzes to peer over Nexahs’ shoulder. He has a vague recollection of how these things function, even though they’re the work of much later keyblade wielders than himself. The armor they begun to build as the worlds drifted further than their gates could reach. 

Having finally given up, Nexahs leans back from his work to give Terra a look as he stands, leaning away so Xigbar might take a gander at the disrepair if he feels like it. “We will come back to this, I assure you,” he looks apologetically to Ventus, and then back to Terra, “but for now shall we progress?”

“Yeah, we can get going,” he raises a hand to ruffle through Ventus’ hair again, the younger boy still pouting but nodding to accept his fate. “You go give Aqua her armor— and then if me and Nexahs get lost, she can come save our dumb selves.”

Earnestly, Ventus nods, knowing well Terra had been flying solo for quite some time now with no trouble— and then, as he adds, Aqua can always come save them when it all explodes.

Now, comes the trickier part. They all find themselves outside, the two with armor donned atop a wide balcony on the higher towers of the laboratory. Ventus is up on his skateboard-blade to attempt to show Nexahs how it’s done, though armorless; alongside Xigbar to the far wall of the balcony is a silent woman much akin to the unicorn ‘Ira’, but instead with the visage of a snake. Nexahs knows her nothing more than her name, Invi, and like the other being from another time, she keeps to herself or Xigbar, opting to simply watch this situation unfold. 

Terra is also already atop his keyblade above them and alongside Ventus, the Earthshaker converting itself into its vehicle-like shape. Thankfully enough, though the armor’s will rises a bile to his throat for a moment, it sees Ventus alive and happy beside him and settles back down into its content enough stupor. Nexahs, however, is having trouble convincing the Rainfell to follow in their suite- but not because he thinks the blade is refusing him, but rather, it’s confused, not understanding what he wants from it.

“You might be communicating too literally,” Terra calls from above, pulling up the lip of his helmet so he isn’t muffled by it and the distance between them, though he does float downwards to try to see if he can’t ‘see’ the problem, and hear Nexahs’ response. Alas, nothing about what Nexahs is doing seems entirely incorrect?

“I don’t know if I know how to be less literal,” Nexahs responds low in his throat, turning the blade over in his hand to inspect it curiously. He’s had no time to practice with it in any measure, let alone trying to convince it to do something he’s never seen a keyblade do in the past. 

“I don’t know,” Ventus adds, “I feel like Aqua’s style was very literal. But… also magical… Like, loose literal!”

It’s hard to give Ventus’ a dry look from his imposing armor’s helmet, but boy does he try, heading slowly tilting towards the boy floating a few feet ahead of him. “I… don’t know what you mean by that.”

Clenching a fist, he rests knuckles below his chin, face furrowed in thought. “Like, think about what you want to do, but don’t take it so seriously.”

He didn’t think he was taking it ‘seriously’, but honestly when he points it out, yes, Nexahs thoughts are being fraught with worry rather than direction. He needs this to work, and relatively quickly. Am I being too harsh on you, new friend? Do you require a gentler touch? And so, Nexahs’ attempts to ‘relax’, though that’s easier said than done. 

“S’important to understand your blade,” Xigbar adds so quietly from his distance he’s nearly unheard. 

“I’m no longer sure I’ve _ever_ understood these things,” Nexahs mumbles back, still looking over the Rainfell in his grasp. Since it’s second hand, even, he feels the lack of comprehension worse- but it’s not as if he, or any conscious piece of him current self ever had their ‘own’ keyblade. He feels, though, its pity for his worry and equally tries to understand him and his stiffer personality than Aqua’s. 

As an unconscious, errant though, he tosses it into the air haphazardly, prompting a held breath from Terra and Ventus as they recognize the motion. At first, it almost appears as if its still confused, holding a beat, before it delicately transforms into its carriage like transport form, landing beside him with a glittering gusto a foot or two above the ground, waiting him to take step onto its platform. “There you go!” Ventus cheers, scooting closer to them as Nexahs carefully steps upon the offered landing. After seeing Terra and Ventus’, he’s a little surprised to see how it formed, but won’t begrudge the fact it had changed for him at all.

“They all look very different from each other, hmn,” not that he minds; this one seems to be easier to stay ‘perched’ upon- and to his surprise, the remaining scarf of his armor spreads its end like a wide hand and outwards with a will of its own, curling itself around the handles to grip. Neither of them seem to mind each other, and Nexahs wonders if it’s because he had originally built his armor from Aqua’s, and from a less physical standpoint, they’re more similar than they seem. Here’s hoping if he does fall off, the scarf doesn’t break his neck or choke him.

“Yeahp! I guess it’s like… how did Master Eraqus explain it… to be the most like ‘ourselves’? Though… I never really understood the differences.”

“I can appreciate their unsimilar wills,” Nexahs nods, and with strange instinct, places his hands over the handles, gripped with clawed gauntlets and petting across the surface in something akin to affection. Now that it has changed, there is no hesitation in his ability to control it, slowly scooting in the air across the balcony.

“Alright, well, give it a few laps-“ but Nexahs cuts Terra off, wherein the sentence would’ve been ‘on the balcony’. Instead, he opts to blast off over the edge of the railing to the very sharp drop below. To his or the Rainfell’s credit, neither let each other crash into the rocks beneath, though there is a knock or two into the pipes and ledges as they fall; a few short feet from the bottom and they level flat, shooting off into the nearly empty deserts surrounding them. Looking over his shoulder to see if Terra or Ventus will race him— and they do, Terra meeting up with him easily, and Ventus shortly behind. Without his armor the air pressure gets too much and Ventus drops out early, peeling back towards the lab with a barely heard laugh, but Terra and Nexahs are having a time. Terra’s impressed how quickly Nexahs gets a hang for it, giving him a run for his money in this race. Unconsciously urging friends to join, the air peels into nobody chasers alongside them, though only the dragoons make a well enough pace to keep up. Looking over his shoulder, he slows down momentarily to count the flock that chase them, but tilts his head when the number surpasses 26. Didn’t Dilan say there was only 26 of his remaining? What a curious question he wouldn’t be able to answer until later. In his distraction, Terra blasts past him, and Nexahs makes haste to keep up, the dust behind them trailing the air with earth and that blue hue the ground here has.

 A bit of practice over the barren cliffs, chased by a flock of dragoons, and Nexahs’ feels enough he has a hang of it for space. Effortlessly, Terra flips between riding and brandishing his weapon, blasting a key shaped hole into the void for them to cross over. First, however, Nexahs makes his way back to Xigbar, landing softly beside him and his female friend who had relocated to the edge of the balcony to watch their playful antics. “Meet you there?”

“That’s the plan. I’ll make sure not to be up to anything for the next couple days,” he looks to his cohort, and she nods in agreement to keep Xigbar out of trouble- though she seems even more reserved than before, lips pursed in discomfort.

“And get a hold of that Vexen too, please,” looking over his shoulder, he spots Terra waiting below his portal, waving Nexahs to join him.

“Can do. He still has the memory of a goldfish, though, so I don’t expect much. I could always grab his one Riku-replica friend.”

“If he would oblige me this. I’ll keep you posted,” and with a curt nod to the both of them, he speeds off towards the opened portal, leading ahead of Terra and breaking through its barrier before it closes.

Having seen it enough times now inside the safety of a gummiship, Nexahs’ isn’t exactly surprised to see what he does- but he looks backwards to check on Terra as the portal closes and he joins him to judge the other man’s opinion on the… disrepair, the in-between is in. Coasting behind him, Terra stands up on his ‘bike’ to peer around in the utmost curiosity, a sigh caught creaking painfully from his throat. Nexahs floats backwards towards him, canting a head towards, “What’s the matter?” Now in the void, their helmets connect with radio, so the distance and the lack of air between them isn’t a problem.

“I just…” There’s a lilt of sadness to his voice, “Every time I’m out here, I can’t… believe what it’s become.”

Around them, an expected void is instead of constant motion and life; the pale glitter of far-off stars between darkness, the speeding grey powder trails of ships encompassing the emptiness. All around them, rather than that black, endless vacancy that Terra had become familiar with in his short travels some ten years ago, rubble and the remnants of past worlds litter space, uncomfortably surrounding them. Heartless circle all around in vessels built from this all-worldly trauma, narrowly avoiding swarms of Nobody in their wake. They both take permanent home to the asteroids that litter this nexus of destruction, flashes of bright colours inhabiting dilapidated grey rocks and buildings, the old machines built from the remnants of Ansem’s forgotten war on light that they still fight from instinct. It’s become another world in its own right out here now, honestly, for these displaced, created creatures, between the heartless and nobody alike. Looking across this destruction of _his_ creation, a cold silence reigns beyond the dull, muted rumble of nearby engines, and Nexahs can hardly reply, “That…. Is definitely something that… has occurred in your absence.” Swallowing roughly, he speaks barely over his breath, “I thought… I thought you’d been out here before.” They steady themselves as a particularly large heartless warship rumbles by, but it finds them so small and insignificant, it ignores them beyond the push of its thrusters as it displaces the space behind it, shoving them away in its wake.

Only momentarily jostled from their thoughts by that interruption, Terra mumbles back after a pause of silent reflection, “I, I have, but like… It’s still hard to comprehend. It’s almost as if the universe never liked having these voids- it’s desperate to fill in the spaces.” He sounds as if he’s forgotten that this destruction is by Nexahs’ hands, but Nexahs does _not_ forget.

“I feel, unfortunately, it’s more like things that should not have existed were created, and thus, filled the holes,” Nexahs gestures with a loose hand to the various occupants of this place now, as a fleet of nobodies chase after the large vessel that had flown past a minute earlier.

“Well, weren’t there always heartless? From the beginning?” Sparsely, Terra has read the old reports. Though it’s more like Aqua read them, and thus informed him and Ventus about it afterwards.

“There were, but they have the realm of darkness to ‘live’ in if they see it fit, only to venture out in unprotected worlds where hearts could be taken. Now, there are more than just those soft shadows, as per my creation and then, later, their own.” His voice creaks pitifully with regret, as his past actions are laid so plainly before him. After his, Ansem’s defeat, the worlds were to resume as they were- and many did, but not all, so the space in-between never truly recovered. As each year passes and more worlds fall, the void fills endlessly from the remaining pieces of their extinction.

“So, now it’s just it’s own big world now, for these.. things, huh..?” Another long silence, as neither of them, let alone anyone knows the answer to this. Changing the subject, “Do you know where to start looking for your world?”

Eager to accept the change of subject, “I will in a minute,” and he starts off again, heading towards a less speedy flight of nobody ships. At first, they shy away from the unknown stranger, but he calls to them with friendly greetings, and they tilt back towards the two small figures. They can’t readily be outside of their ship in this space, much like Terra and Nexahs’ required armor, but he can communicate with the inhabitants, several dusks and a leader assassin. -so you deign to show yourself now-. Apparently, it’s annoyed.

“So I do,” Nexahs replies, trying not to take the contempt to heart. “Head me in the correct direction?”

-can you not feel it?-

“I can, but it might be easier if you’d assist me.”

-it has fallen from all anchors. it moves, constantly. finding it in a ‘direction’ is not possible.-

“I’m not surprised to hear this, but that is still very inconvenient.”

Terra is only hearing Nexahs’ half of the conversation, “Inconvenient? Is there nothing left to find?” A lilt of worry in his voice.

“No, there is _something_ , but it was once anchored to a point in space just barely outside of the realm of darkness. It’s slipped off and is floating, moving around the nebulous void of this place all to whatever it whims. It’s not linear out there, I can’t be ‘pointed’ in a direction.”

“That is… rough alright,” but Terra laughs, pained. “If you at least remembered ‘what’ rather than ‘where’ it is, we could break between to reach it.”

Nexahs tilts a confused head, “I’d like to say I do know ‘what’ it feels like.” It’s of his own creation, made primarily from, well… “It should feel very much like _me_.” But does he know how to find, himself. While he’s, well, here..? Stretching and tapping his clawed fingers across the handles of the Rainfell, Nexahs sighs softly, looking across the bustling emptiness. 

Humming to himself, Terra doesn’t sound as deterred by that notion as Nexahs was, standing up on his bike to peer around again curiously as they float there, the nobody ship turning and heading back towards that warship they were chasing earlier. “Like you, huh… which is kinda like Xehanort… but _kinda_ like _me_ ,” he mumbles to himself as he looks across space.

“That seems like an over simplified way to put it,” but Nexahs’ watches as Terra floats off in what appears to be a very specific direction and he follows after.

“Thinking simple is kind of what I’m good at,” he accidentally drags himself— but to his credit, it’s not as if Nexahs general overthinking was helping them at the moment. “I just have an inkling feeling. I think it’s the will of my armor, like a dog seeking a smell. If I think about finding Xehanort…. Well, without accidentally turning around and finding _you_ ,” he tilts a head back, but he’s still scooting off towards what appears to be nowhere in particular.

“Well, now I’m extra pleased I asked you to come along. That must feel weird though, being puppeted.”

“I mean,” he laughs under his breath, “this is _hardly_ the most ‘puppeted’ I’ve ever felt, man.”

“… Yes, I suppose that’s incredibly true. It’s probably even less puppeted than I’ve felt.”

Exhaling a laugh, “It’s kind of easy to forget that you weren’t really the decider in your destiny either.”

“I was more in control than you were. I’m sure in some timeline somewhere, my heart destroyed everything in darkness, or my body destroyed everything in nothing.”

“It can be like that sometimes. I’m just glad that instead, we do have at least this little broken nexus to travel in. Coulda been all reset, like Xehanort wanted.” Terra’s pace picks up as he really feels it now, scooting through and past an asteroid field and into a nearly misplaced looking void beyond it. “I’m just trying to live in the moment nowadays. Though honestly I always lived in the moment.”

Nexahs doesn’t struggle to keep up, but he is still very curious. “I can’t say I know the feeling, of living in the moment. Nothing about my life wasn’t meticulously planned.”

“And yet, plans often fall apart.”

“They don’t always,” he rumbles, despite having just spoken about his two halves failures.

“But running on the moment doesn’t always fail, either.”

Nexahs exhales a laugh under his breath, “True enough. Forgive me- but you’re just sort of flying off into no where.”

“Don’t know what to tell you, this is just sort of what I’m feeling. And it’s moving, too, just like you said it was,” slowing down, he peers up at apparently nowhere, “And kinda fast… I think I can get a mark on it, let me just, precariously stand on you for a second.”

“Ah- excuse me—” but it’s too late, Terra once against effortlessly converts his keyblade back into blade form, finding himself launched backwards at Nexahs and landing delicately on the handles of his chariot. Since he’s waiting for him to open a portal anyways, Nexahs takes a fond moment to look up at his ass. Nice. Only a moment, though, as he stands there after cracking another keyhole shaped hole in space. Behind it, they can both see the rippling world hiding beneath the folds of darkness here, and it does not seem like a stable connection. Opting for speed rather than letting Terra settle back down on his own blade, Nexahs jerks forwards, nearly toppling the other man off, but with a quick grab he’s on Nexahs’ lap instead as he blasts through to the barely existent world on the other side.

Not without complaint, however, Terra is still yelping as they break through, though it stifles significantly when the oppressing press of darkness encompasses them. They’re not in the realm of darkness, no, but its very _close,_ that space between realms where the void of nothing reigns. Nexahs can’t help but sigh, long and pained, at the sight of his world. If they could still call it this. All that remains in some semblance of structure is the Castle that Never Was, and it’s not as if it’s doing great, but it isn’t the cosmic trail of buildings and rubble that trail in the lengthwise distance the world travels. Rasping under his breath as he sits up on Nexahs’ lap, “Well, fuck me. Are you sure there’s… anything left…”

“Yes,” though he isn’t 100% confident as they dodge through the rubble towards the castle, “That building is the heart, or holds the heart, what barely you could call it a ‘heart’, that thing I programmed to pretend to be the heart of a world. I think my program is holding it together- but it lacks the necessary power, or perhaps the age to continue keeping it afloat alone.”

“Ahh… so we need a… powerful heart?.... do you have a powerful heart?” Terra asks timidly, craning his head back to see him- but Nexahs is staring forwards towards the destruction.

“I don’t know yet.”

Terra doesn’t connect any dots yet, but the situation still feels pathetically ominous. Coasting up to a tilted entrance near the bottom, he offers Terra off first before displacing himself, the Rainfell reverting and disappearing into a glittering nothing. There’s still some remains of atmosphere here at least, so with a click of a button, Terra relieves himself of his armor. Though he’s never done it, Nexahs is aware his armor can as well, and it folds into place as a singular gauntlet on his left hand. Taking a moment to scratch his cheek nervously with a claw, Nexahs grumbles to himself, “Here’s hoping the hallways aren’t too collapsed…”

Terra just shrugs, heading inside as he tries to remain less downtrodden than his companion, “Nothing we can’t cut through!”

It’s dark, and broken, and sad, and occasionally Nexahs is lifting a piece of rubble to find a scared little creeper because they seemed too stupid to flee. The castle is littered with them, so soon enough they have a little pile of them— but they’re both startled when a few snipers appear as well, grabbing handfuls of them, and disappearing. “Well, thanks I suppose, Xigbar,” Nexahs mumbles to himself as they travel in the dark, lit barely by Firaga that Terra occasionally shoots off down the hallways.

“You’re welcome!” Neither of them can resist the urge to jump when Xigbar teleports to Nexahs’ side— and he _just barely_ resists the urge to grab him by the coat collar and throttle him,” whOA ok I’m sorry!” He shrinks to a raised fist, still smiling with defensively offered palms.

“Thank you for actually joining us instead of _lingering around the shadows_ ,” Nexahs rumbles, reaching over to tug an ear just so Xigbar can feel any measure of punishment for his actions.

Sticking out his tongue to that, he accepts his fate as he joins their lackluster walk to the inner basement, “I got a little sidetracked! Picking up those broken little kids, y’know. You’d rather I leave them here?”

“Well, if I’m successful, you theoretically could leave them here, but suppose to be safe,” he shrugs.

“It’s not looking so good, boss.”

“I still feel a pulse beneath us.”

“It’s fading fast. And even if you empower it, I don’t think it’s gonna stick.”

“I can’t just let this word die,” Nexahs rumbles under his breath, side-eyeing back towards Xigbar trailing slightly behind as Terra falls to the back of them in silence.

“Kinda not giving you much of a choice.”

“I have a choice,” he picks at the skin of his fingers with the gauntlet, Nexahs duo toned gaze falling to the ground as they walk, focusing on each boot-step over crumbling ground. 

Terra tilts his head a curious confusion, and Xigbar nearly follows suit before he catches on- “Ahh… Is that… You’re _really_ going to treat that like a _viable answer_?”

“It _is_ viable, isn’t it? You’d know better than anyone, I’d think.”

“Well, no, I think Ansem the old man would know more than me about the exact logistics of it, but…”

“What’s he want to do?” Terra questions, not enjoying being left out of what appears to be a serious discussion.

Nexahs tries to cut him off with a ‘nevermind’, but Xigbar speaks over him, “He’s gonna give Xehanort’s old ass heart to the world to live.” It’s true, so Nexahs nods. He’s been thinking that this would be a last-ditch option since he’d seen his old heart and its overt power.

Blinking, it still takes him a moment to comprehend, “But wouldn’t that… Make you Xemnas again?”

“Suppose it will,” he speaks downtrodden, but, “But I know that I could do this.” He’s seen how Xemnas’ acts now without the darkness or the influence of his predecessor. Well enough behaved. 

“… But you weren’t happy-“ and Xigbar cuts Terra off this time instead,

“Lets have this depressing conversation after we’ve exhausted the other options, hmn?”

Nexahs sneers back at him, “You’re the one who brought it up.”

“I think it’s fair he knows so he can think about it with us! He’s the only denizen of light here. We’ve got all three roles filled here- a denizen of light, a denizen of dark, a denizen of nothing.”

Tilting a head back at him, Nexahs raises a dismissive brow, “And which of that are you, hmn?”

“Ahh… none, maybe. A denizen of whatever I want~,” he hums, raising both hands to shrug shoulders wide. 

They walk in silence for a long moment, only the ominous creaking of the building around them, threatening to crush them, and Terra speaks under his breath, “I think it’s important for this world to be restarted for the nobodies to live in.”

“Oh yeah?” Xigbar hums back at him, tilting to stare at him with an eyepatch covered eye. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s not fair to be homeless. They didn’t ask to be made. Sometimes, when mistakes get made, the sacrifices you must make to atone for them are… Rough, I guess. I don’t want to make it sound like I’m telling you to throw yourself in the fire….”

“No, I know you’re not,” Nexahs nods, “but you’re still right. This is something I will do to atone for my creations.”

“Uhg,” Xigbar’s nose wrinkles in distaste, waving a dismissive hand, “I don’t think I like you wearing all that altruism like that.”

“I hate to say it, Xigbar, but this entire expedition is about altruism. Equally- why else are you here? What benefits you to doing me a favor?”

“Uhh… I mean, quick answer is for saving me from my recent eyeball related mistakes. Secondly- I’m kinda doing a favor for Ansem! The old man. Because he’s doing me a favor in letting my displaced friends stay with him. It’s a wild train of favour doing!”

“Suppose that’s still selfish, doing it to get the help of others. Or replaying the help of others,” Nexahs shrugs, ducking down low under a particularly broken corridor. “We’re about here.” Though it had been near darkness their entire journey beneath, here close to the heart of the world, the massive server space that holds its remnants together, the lights on the walls flicker on for them. Not anything like the full berth of its old power, but like auxiliary lights, red lines that trail only the hallways towards their destination. “Where’s that Vexen replica?”

“He’s actually down with the console already, shooed him down there with his buddy. Forgot to mention.”

“It’s probably beneficial for him to be there rather than anywhere else.”

“Another was giving me guff, just like you said. It’s broken and untrustworthy. Started smartening up with his new buddy replica in the room. Not that Vexlica knows anything about the situation, but he’s getting really good at just sitting there and listening. Even’s got him remembering for about a day, now, so don’t feel nervous about leaving him alone.”

“I was a little nervous, yes, but you also said he was with Silent.”

It gets a exceptionally tight at the final hallway when a new piece of rubble finds itself in their way; Terra and Nexahs struggle to remove it, but from the other side one aforementioned Repliku assists by cracking the thing into two healthy pieces on the edge of his blade, leaving a space just large enough for them to sneak through. He looks up with uneven eyes in worry to his new friend made of Ansem, but Nexahs looks down in feigned comfort, ruffling his hair. “Ah, thank you.”

A shrill voice from the darkness, though Vexlica is lit by the dwindling light of the Nothing engine he’s perched beside, “Ah, good, more of you strangers again. Have we met?”

“We have,” Nexahs approaches him, offering a hand for him to stand with them, and while Vexlica seems significantly less hostile than he was the last time they met, he doesn’t seem trusting, either. “We are friends.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he hisses, still staring at that offered hand— but looking over to Silent, he sighs in the judgement of his _actual_ friend, and takes the offer to stand with Nexahs. “You need me to log into your computer, one who claims to be in part my superior?”

“I do. You might know well how finicky and particular my program can be. I can reason with you about the situation, and logically you will reason back the direness of it to overwrite your hostility, but Another does not know better. It might have grown some semblance of a data-heart, but it knows little of true sapience.”

“That I do know,” Vexlica nods, turning on heel towards the singular functioning console ahead of the dwindling engine. “Unfortunately to inform you, I’ve already been in the server. Another is hardly here, it has dumped most of its vital information in a computer that _isn’t_ about to implode.”

“That’s fairly what I thought he had done, in the way he was controlling Ansem’s computer,” and Nexahs siiiiiighs, long and pained, leaning over to stretch out his back. “I couldn’t expect it to stay where it would face imminent demise.” Nexahs’ eye cast painfully to the side, his bare right hand rubbing over the hollow of his chest, that numb feeling spreading to his limbs as the pulse of it mutes the sound from his ears.

“So that’s a bad verdict then,” Terra mumbles, eyes cast to the floor.

“Not yet,” but he speaks weakly, barely above his breath, “I can attempt to restart the engine, and it will hold for a while longer.”

“But it won’t stiiiick~,” Xigbar adds in a singsong voice, idling over to the console as well; he displaces Vexlica from his place, the replica sneering at him but not disputing his control, “Do you think you’ll coax Another back here? Do you think it’ll be strong enough to hold it all together, in _this_ spot, this close to the darkness, with no tethers?”

“I would re-tether it when I empowered it-“ but he cuts him off,

“But you can’t move it in this state. It’ll fall apart. And your tethers won’t hold this close to the darkness.”

“You can’t just tell him so plainly to sacrifice himself without even trying,” Terra barks, head ducked low and threatening as he places himself between the two, but Nexahs lands a gentle hand on his shoulder, a ‘shh’ between his lips.

“I will try to restart the engine.”

With a keyblade, and with his connection to nothing, and the darkness, he can try. 

The Rainfell again appears in his grasp, sensing the grave task ahead of it.

But the connection doesn’t take, as Xigbar had warned it wouldn’t— the lights flicker violently as that red tinted nothing collects and disposes itself into the engine, but it gulps and swallows each pulse with an unending thirst that it can not hold onto without a will or heart to carry it. Left exhausted, knees on the floor, drooling and heaving his exhaustion, Nexahs takes his pitiful gaze to Xigbar— because he’s the only one he trusts to, once again, take out his heart.

But he doesn’t look back at him quite how he would’ve expected. A smile crosses Xigbar’s face, pained but accepting of a fate; he sways on his heels with his hands stuffed behind him, a silence reigning between them as the engine’s exertion falls back to its strained failing, unable to hold itself together. It’s slightly, slightly better than it was before, however, so at the very least it’s given them a longer countdown to destruction. “It’s a good thing that I plan ahead better than you do, hmn,” Xigbar hums, eye lidding softly.

“Do you really,” Nexahs rasps, still audibly heaving his distress. Using the Rainfell as a prop, he shakily stands, and Terra offers a hand behind him to lift him on unwieldy legs. “Secret-holder, you are. Tell me what knowledge you hold.”

“You’re _not_ the oldest heart in the room.”

Silence lingers again beyond the distressed wheezing of Nexahs as he parses the meaning of that. “I am… aware of that… but we were just speaking dismissively of altruism,” he squints at him, nose wrinkling in distaste. “I wasn’t going to waste my time asking a question I thought I knew the answer too.”

“You should really stop jumping to conclusions like that. It continues to be your greatest downfall.”

“…You only came to do this for me.”

“That’s pretty much right,” he nods, looking towards the engine with a half-lidded gaze, “I’ve even already told my friends I probably wasn’t coming back. Which is why I had to leave them with Ansem,” and Xigbar sighs, shaking his head at Nexahs’ continual lack of comprehension.

Swallowing roughly, “And why should it be you over me? What sort of thing have you done to deserve a fate of sleeping loneliness?”

“I mean, comparatively to you?”

His eyes slowly close, eyebrows knitting, “I know too well what I’ve done to deserve my loneliness-“

“Then you’ll also know that I’m not some peachy clean redeemer like you.” Slowly, he drags heels up to Nexahs face, looking up just barely at the difference in height when he’s so close to his chest. Delicately, he reaches up cups his jaw. “The difference is that.”

Leaning back from the touch, but at Xigbar’s insistence he abates to be held, “You claim you don’t want to atone, and yet you’re about to sacrifice your heart to creatures I often hear you call pitiful and broken.” A singular eye opens to peer at him, that near black iris looking to Xigbar’s opposite brown. The heart challenging him for the space he’ll claim to replace.

“They _are_ pitiful. So maybe they deserve a world more than I deserve a heart. You know though, it’s not as if I’m _dying_ , so quit that depressing tone. I’m just going to _sleep_ , and I’ve done this before.” Gently, he rubs an index finger beneath his jaw, below each ear, “I’m actually still being selfish, you know.”

“Is that right?” Both eyes flicker open, blinking slowly down, taking in Xigbar’s look of reserved pain behind a tired smile.

“Look at you. You’re so happy now.”

His gaze momentarily flicks to the side in thought before returning, “… am I really?”

“You are! More than I am. I’m sad, and I feel forgotten and betrayed. Either you’ve ruined this timeline, or I went to the wrong keyblade war. So, I could just _live out_ the time it takes for another one to crop up, which is stupid. Or I can take a nice long nap! Forgive me for wanting to be lazy,” he rolls his head back, exaggerated as a palm returns from Nexahs’ face to press against his own chest.

Nexahs’ eyebrows knit in concern, eyes lidding again as he lets the situation comprehend in his mind. “I…” A soft sigh, a long pause. The numbness doesn’t replace itself from his limbs, but he’s awash with a different feeling instead. So very quietly, “I appreciate it regardless.”

“And you’ll take my offer?”

“I would be a fool not to. In all honesty— you said you’ve done this before.”

“I have.”

“So, I would have more likely success to use your heart rather than my own unexperienced one.”

“Oh, absolutely. You’d be stupid to try to restart a world this fucked with a heart as new as yours.”

Exhaling a sharp, tired laugh, “It’s befuddling to think my heart is anywhere near ‘new’.”

Stifling a laugh with his retrieved palm, the one lingering Nexahs’ jaw gives him one last nearly affectionate pet before returning to his side to summon the No Name. Just as delicately, he offers the handle to Nexahs’ grasp. “Just like last time— but I guess don’t just drop it to float into nothing this time.”

“I won’t waste it, I promise.”

“Do me a favour, try to replant the world a lot closer to light this time. I think everyone will appreciate that.”

“Uhh…” Nexahs squints, eyeing the console. “That would be… easier said than done.”

“I’ll help! This blade will definitely help,” he points to the No Name, and then Xigbar looks to Terra nearby, “you! You also help,” and even though he’s unsure how, Terra nods in confirmation, eyebrow knit confidently and summoning his blade. The two replicas stand nearby, though Silent approaches with his blade in hand— he may not have a keyblade, but he’s certain he has light to offer connection, and Nexahs won’t begrudge the even attempted help. Since Xigbar doesn’t balk to the offering, he equally assumes it won’t hurt. 

With his arms gestured wide, he offers Nexahs his heart willingly, though one hand reaches forwards expectantly, and Nexahs gives it a confused stare before Xigbar explains, “Would you begrudge me for being sentimental for once? If someone asks you to hold their hand, maybe you should.”

“Ahh..” He rasps, a sinking feeling striking his core so terribly his eyes squeeze shut, nose wrinkling in discomfort as he works to overcome the overwhelming feeling, but blindly he reaches out to loosely entwine the fingers of his right hand. Xigbar finds himself gripping loosely to his thumb, and he waits.

“If your heart is strong as you say it is, I’ll see you again in a while, hmn?”

“Oh, maybe,” his voice is weak, and with his left hand, raises the blade. Though he and the No Name aren’t necessarily familiar with each other, it comprehends him far easier than the Rainfell ever does; effortlessly he plucks Xigbar’s heart from his chest. Despite this, the man stays rooted on his feet, eyes growing dark as his dulled gaze follows it away from him. With the utmost delicacy, Nexahs brings the wavering thing to his Nothing engine at the center, still gently holding the now empty man’s offered hand— though he silently reflects that Xigbar’s, or as he remembers, Luxu’s heart does nothing to show its age, and he wonders if it’s because he’s wearing Braig’s like a shield. As if he hears Nexahs’ silent musing, it sheds just a touch of its pink skin, an errant grey energy unlike the hearts he’s seen in the past, but as if excited or impatient to be let loose, he frees himself to settle down into the engine before him. 

Now Nexahs’ has to restart it again, or try to, and in between moving the entire structure elsewhere, even rebuilding it if he can manage. To Luxu’s credit, he offers an immense amount of power the moment he overtakes the engine; with Terra and Silent at he side, and with the powerful blade he’s been given, Nexahs’ unlocks all remaining remnants of tether with a twist of his wrist, gripping the No Name with both hands as he presses all remaining nothing from his core. They focus on a place much brighter than this, but still somewhere in nothing, and with all blades pointed forwards and focused, the world violently moves in a _direction._ Nexahs is already drained from his previous attempt, however, and despite his best efforts, quickly looses control if their speed; the apparent teleportation and the energy that expanses so violently from the core sends all in the room flying. Before Nexahs has any hope of attempting to collect himself or his companions, all four remaining blip from existence sans Nexahs himself, and while he’s petrified to think he’s killed them all, there’s a calm comfort from the core that lets him believe they’ve just been moved elsewhere, away from harm. Not him, however, as that shedding energy of nothing burns through his body, stripping him of his power to fuel itself in the rebuilding he’s hoped to do. He wished it didn’t have to be so _incredibly painful_ , but alas, some must suffer for their sins. Before Nexahs can comprehend it, he’s once again relieved to the bliss of unconsciousness. 

It takes Aqua weeks to find it, having had to find Terra first to guide her. Terra was disposed in a world in the further reaches, though he’d found it very familiar— an island much like Destiny Islands, and a little blue friend to keep him company in his intense disorientation from the trauma of being physically thrown into a world. When they finally set down on this fresh, nearly new world, a brightly lit scene much unlike what it was before takes its place in a spot in space close to the warmth of light, and reflects it well. Tall, white skyscrapers reach towards a softly lit sky, clouds blotting out an endless expanse of vibrant blue. Across each curve and platform of the encompassing buildings, flashes of green, yellow and brown litter the walls, vines and ivies overtaking the cityscape; impossibly large trees break between and through the buildings in the ultimate act of defiance of emptiness instead for life. Roots and branches hold together the damage sustained just weeks ago, connecting the new life here, and full of life it was. In a single day, each world found itself void of its new inhabitants save for a few interlopers that found a comfortable placement in their new homes, for they heard well that the new world was Utopia— a world ‘perfected’, a world for ‘nothing’. No world that existed, but as it did, a perfect place for nothing. 

A perfect place for forgotten, as well, and as he continues to having forgot himself, Edym asks quietly if she could take him there too, and so she does, Ventus flying them a gummiship there alongside a curious Lauriam and Elrena. “Apparently Nexahs is in there somewhere, but when Terra and I went last, I didn’t stay long enough to find him,” Aqua speaks back to him, a hand held above her face to cast the light of the sky from her eyes as she peers across the buildings.

“I’m glad to hear he’s not dead, I guess,” he mumbles in reply, stepping into a world so viscerally unlike they’d ever known the place to be. Wide eyed in wonder, he barely remembers to step out of the doorway enough for the other two to get a better look, Lauriam picking him up at the armpits to displace him the rest of the steps with a peep. “Hey— you can’t blame me for wanting to stare!”

“Is it really different?” She questions, looking back at the three of them as they look around in completely unfamiliarity.

“It’s so incredibly different, Aqua. This is like, freakish.” Hands on his hips, he looks towards a familiar building, and then past it to the Castle that Remains, and the way it’s now rooted with trees to the ground it once floated from. “I’m gonna guess you didn’t make it to the castle.”

“Nope. Why don’t you head over?” She nods towards it, “I was going to check out a few more things down here.”

Blinking, “by myself?”

Aqua shrugs, and Lauriam laughs, “I think he’ll be happiest to see you out of any of us, if he’s awake.”

It’s much easier to navigate than the last time he was here, on account of it not being at a horrible 20-degree angle. Crawling up the length of a root that reaches to the main entrance at the bottom, Edym laments to no one how exhausting of a climb this was— or what he thought was to himself, because soon enough he’s joined by dancers that take no effort to scoot along beside him; shortly after sorcerer’s appear, and a sniper or two— “Quit mocking me and your ability to FLOAT!”

He was right though, Nexahs is in the castle; he asks the dancers and they nod, though they seem reserved to do so. Like Lauriam said, ‘if he’s awake’, but he isn’t, and apparently hasn’t risen even a peep since they’d found his near-corpse in the basement, next to the brand new, bright and energetic engine. Tucked him into bed, they did, and in his old room, giant and brightly lit, the unconsciously duo formed man finds himself decorated in plant-life much like his new city was. White sheets and a black blanket, he looks peaceful, comfortable, and thankfully enough as Edym leans in close with a nervous look, breathing. Just tired. Apparently having nearly killed himself from restarting the world.

Without much thought, he crawls into the giant bed, though still over the covers, and settles down with the unconscious other, kicking his shoes to the side to keep the perfectly clean bedspread that way. He’s got time to loaf for a bit, he’s sure.

“Well, you eventually did an ok job, man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its oooveerrrrrrrrr
> 
> i've never finished a fic before. 
> 
> i wrote 6k words of this once and lost it to the cloud. so it took a month and more to re-write. but it's good now. i had to smooth out some plot.
> 
> i'm planning a sequel that involves mostly isa/axel, and a prequel about how xemnas and ansem got so attached. i might add an 'extra' mini chapter about the dream-memory of them in the dark world, but i might keep it for the ansxem fic.
> 
> thanks for reading!!!!


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